In love with someone you've never met

[sparkly]

honestly,it is a complete waste of time.I had been talking to this one guy for 8 months and today i just went "why am i wasting my time on him?" so i deleted him from everything and plan not to ever speak to him again.no one and i mean NO ONE, can ever love anyone just by communicating on the net or phone.i had a guy tell me once that he loved me and we had never met in person.i told him dont be stupid coz i dont love you.it's just not possible.turns out all he wanted was sex but i was all good with that. Dont EVER BELIEVE WHEN A MAN OR A WOMAN ON THE NET TELLS YOU THEY LOVE YOU because its a bunch of crap.and you're a very lonely person with no self confidence if you believe it. get out there and find yourself a real man/woman and be truley happy.thats what im doing this saturday.best of luck

[crosstownTraffic]

That is a good question original poster, and you know, instead of being more interested in meeting someone I've been chatting with for a few months, over time, I feel less & less interested.

I supposed it's cuz I need to have a face-to-face connection with someone to feel part of their life.. Just an e-mail or get IM convo isn't going to make me fall in love with them. Plust too, I've been down the Internet Road so many times where the bloke is just jerking your chain.. so i've rather tired of the whole process myself.

But I suppose for some it's a good option. one thing I'm not though is patience. And I'm pretty lonely right now.. I want someone there next to me.. to make me feel complete and not alone. I cannot get that sitting at a computer desk.

Obviously, some people can... "What is it that makes YOU fall in love with a person? I will tell you that for me, it's the character they have; the way they express themselves; the ideas that they have; the spirit they carry; the soul fire that drives them -- and the way these things all dovetail with me, and mine. I don't need to physically be with them to sense all this. Though it's not a proposition for the impatient, or the needy. If you can't see someone in real time for ages, and you feel that they might be what you've been waiting for, you've got to be ready to wait yet some more. One thing I have in ample quantities is great patience -- I can hold out for a good thing. With no timeframe. Because I know that a good thing for me would be also a rare thing in the world. And I've done without it for decades, so what's another few weeks or months? I also feel that there is a "test" involved in this -- the mettle of each person is truly tested by this kind of "faith." If either person is unfit for this challenge for any reason, it will show up during this waiting and getting-to-know process. And I don't mean to put anyone down, but some people are not up to such a process because it involves a lot of risk-taking. You are taking a gamble that your loved one far away is loyal and as persevering as you. You have to trust that they are honest with you, that they are not fickle. You have to trust them that they are serious. And to tell the truth, these are all the qualities, that if proven, make for a very noble, solid, grounded person. So you can actually tell a lot about a person by such a trial period. You can see their character in action this way."

 

But you see, what I'm very good at is picking up on people's aura, or just a 6th sense of what they really feel. That Is not negotiable over a computer screen.

And it's tough for us people who are good at reading people's body language or just getting a "hunch" about someone when we see them in person. All that is completely void in an internet relationship, and that's probably why I never suceed at them. Plus too, I'm not photogenic at times. I may be attractive in person, but at time, I just cannot take a good photo of myself.. so i dont' come off well in a profile probably...

[sallyb]

I liked this guy met on an online game since before I met him.

We've met quite a few times now, together with other friends from that game, and I like him even more.

 

It is really possible to like someone you have never met, if you think that the person is not deliberately trying to misrepresent themselves, then you feel safe to appraise their personality and see if you like them or not.

[lumu]

in the days before the telephone, people often fell in love via letters. The internet is the new letters. I find you can actually learn more from someone via the net about their thoughts and personality then you can in person. People are less inhibited and you get to the truth quicker.

 

That being said there are some who can lie but they would in person as well.

 

I am falling for a guy that my self doubt makes me think he could be lying but I think he's worth the benefit of the doubt.

 

My last bf i met on the net and we were together for four years after a year of online dating.

 

Its reasonable and possible. I'm there. Have been on the first date with the guy though. He could still be snowing me but he said the same thing about me.

 

You have to have some faith and trust.

[Nixee]

in the days before the telephone, people often fell in love via letters. The internet is the new letters.

 

 

I really like this way of looking at it

 

In the relationships I've forged online that have really been worth it, and that I still cherish... and have continued in person (and in fact I can hardly even remember they even started online sometimes in how close we've become...), it has always been about how well we've written to each other and opened up. And yes, I guess it does become just like "love letters" or simply "penpals" ... just true heartfelt correspondence where you can take the time to really share your thoughts with someone willing to really do the same in kind.

[kuiks8]

I definitely feel very connected to some people i have "met" over the internet...I think it is wise to tread carefully in terms of love relationships...you can feel strongly connected to someone, you can even love them but you can never know their true intentions until you meet them.

[lumu]

I definitely feel very connected to some people i have "met" over the internet...I think it is wise to tread carefully in terms of love relationships...you can feel strongly connected to someone, you can even love them but you can never know their true intentions until you meet them.

 

You still can't know. There isn't any guarantees in love. Love is an act of faith and trust. You have to risk everything to win. There aren't any assurances or half measures.

 

I met the guy I am falling and I think I've fallen but I still don't know if what he said to me was real. If it is then we are soul mates and destiny has smiled on us and brought us together at last. If he's lying then none of it is real because its base on my trust and that would be gone.

 

I think he's worth my trust. If I didn't I wouldn't have fallen.

[Aleadragonhawk]

You know, one big thing for me - my interests weren't really common where I lived. I was really out of place, and because of that, I turned to the internet more for socializing, because there I could meet people "like me". From there I think it was kind of natural to begin to have feelings for someone who I spent a lot of time with, shared a lot of viewpoints with, and genuinely respected as a person.

[Syntax1985]

when i was living at home at 17, my mum had this host student from Amsterdam for the weekend, she used to have alot of students passing through so i never spoke to them much, so kinda just blanked her, well we used to have 1 family pc, and she must've used it, decided she liked me and wrote down my msn login, 2 weeks after she left, out of the blue i got a mysterious friend add on msn , added it and it was her, we got chatting and over time i really did fall for her and she told me she loved me etc, well i turned 18 and thought id go see her, so i convinced my friend for my birthday well do a weekend in amsterdam, they didn't complain went over and arranged to meet up on the saturday... it was just awkward. i knew what shed look like, id even seen her once in real life, but when it came down to it, we knew each other purely over the internet, not real life, i thought id fallen for her and shed thought shed fallen for me, but truth is, we feel for looks and the idea of each other. i personally dont think true love can be found online, at least not for me, i feel the emotional connection between 2 people isnt there, just 2 very seprate emotions experienced by 2 differnt people.

[annie24]

i have known deaf people and blind people, and i have to say, it's not the same. it's different getting to know someone in person, see what they are like out and about on the town, inside the house, hanging out with their friends, how they act towards waitresses. these are things that deaf and blind people can observe. typing over the internet.... no. you can't go out to a restaurant together or go on a double date together via webcam.

[D_Lish]

I think you can still pick up signs on a phone, as to how people are and act in 'real' life. If they are polite, it comes accross.....if they are 'brash' and 'aggressive', ill mannered, it comes accross also.

I can remember having a phone convo with a guy I knew and he was on his mobile. He'd asked me to stay on the line, while he went to buy something from a shop. I heard the full conversation between he and the shop keeper and he was sooooo polite when talking to the shopkeeper. So I knew from thenceforth, that he had manners when dealing with the general public.

[greywolf]

Online relationships are not very practical, that's true. But sometimes you just find yourself in one by accident, and it can feel just as intense.

[waveseer]

I fell in love with a man I've never met. When I realized that he didn't feel the same about me it hurt worse than over any other person in my life. If I base my assessment on the amount of pain I was in I would say it had to be real love. It will never happen again.

[sti_2004]

how is this even a debate...

[truluv]

Ok.. So I met my husband online... Actually on world of warcraft I think its funny to read "How can you love someone you have never met" Well... It is rather easy actually if you talk several hours a day,mail eachother, send pictures, web cam, voice chat. I mean yes you are not in the same area and can not know for sure how the day to day life is lived but you take a chance just like you do on anyone you are with in person. I was great friends with my husband online he made me laugh we could talk about anything to eachother when I had a bad day all I wanted to do was talk to him. I was falling for him and fell hard we met eachother for the first time I had butterflies I was so nervous would he like me? Would we get along? Would we hug after talking for so long. We did briefly hug we both were nervous wrecks but by the time we made it to the car we were holding hands and I was laying my head on him. It felt right I cried my eyes out when he had to go back home. Little did I know I would see him again two weeks later we had always been ok with just being online together till we were in person and could feel eachother but he missed me to much and came back lol! Then again we were sad to say goodbye but two months later we moved in together everyone was freaking out and saying it was awfully fast how can you know?! We just knew we felt complete and that was that. We were engaged that chistmas and married october two years later the day we met in person We now have an 8 month old daughter and have been married a year. I am not saying it works for everyone but it can work you just have to be willing and have met your match in our case it worked!

[Batya33]

Yes, everyone takes a chance when they commit. But there are ways to decrease the risks of making a mistake - for example, by getting to know someone in person. In your case you didn't accept a marriage proposal before you knew him in person (i.e. it sounds like you wouldn't have accepted a proposal before you met in person) because you weren't willing to take that much of a chance by agreeing to marry someone you'd never met in person. My point is, the "everyone takes a chance" doesn't really have much relevance because there is such a huge spectrum of what "taking a chance" means.

[truluv]

Actually we did talk about marriage and both agreed to it before he actually asked me I would have done it before we met in person anyways but he decided to make it in person so he could get on one knee hold my hand and ask me....

[jcrisph]

Sophmore year of college i met a girl online from some online forum, she went to a college like 10 mins from the one i went to. we talked on the phone and internet for a long time before i met her in person. finally we met, she was really pretty, nice, just like i thought she would be. i wasnt in love with her but i really enjoyed her company.a lot in common..blah blha, we hooked up a few times....then the twist.....................................................

 

 

she had a bf who went to college like 6 hours away and they were dating for 3 years.

 

i said either him or me, i know how it feels to be cheated on, she picked him, i actually seen them together at a football game, i just gave a quick wave and ask her how she was doing, and that was the last time i spoke to her.

[RougeKali823]

I have been engaged to someone I met online. It was actually the best relationship I've ever had because since we couldnt see each other all of the time we had to learn to love the internal rather than just the external. Our connection was extremely deep and we outlasted even our friends who saw each other everyday. Its possible because all it takes for love to happen is for two people to get together and decided that they want it to. It was amazing. We flew back and forth to see each other and ultimately decided to get married. I think we were so successful because our communication was better since thats all we had-b/c the physical wasnt always possible and communication is key. After that we grew to love each other and it was great. Oh and it all happened accidently on a site meant for music. We just started messenging and it developed from a friendship to a lets meet up and he was really attactive in person, so of course lol that helped move things right along.