What's worse in society, being an unattractive female or unattractive male?

[CaptainPlanet]

If you know it's a prominent facet in people's mentalities (as I do) then why are you bashing her for it? Sounds to me like you're stirring up an argument for the sake of it.

 

Ofcourse if you want to call it that but I am more curious to know seems such a blantant remark had been made. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE TO BE UGLY. Dear me if I would dare to question what that might mean.

 

As for stirring up and argument ! well if that isn't the pot calling the kettle black.

 

The other problem with being ugly ken is that no one ever wants to listen to what you have to say. Pretty people will always get the spotlight they're always "smart" and clever in the ill informed uneducated conversations.

[ghost69]

i don't see that as bad at all. it's personal preference. i don't remember the last time i was aroused cause the girl i was with was witty and funny. magazines like playboy wouldn't be successful if they were just article about the girl's personality.

[Raiden]

And some girls don't really care.

 

Accept it.

 

You're one in a million though, Carrie. Literally.

 

i don't see that as bad at all. it's personal preference. i don't remember the last time i was aroused cause the girl i was with was witty and funny. magazines like playboy wouldn't be successful if they were just article about the girl's personality.

 

Damn well said. And the same applies to us (unattractive) guys. I don't care what anyone says.

 

Perhaps ghost you can empathize with me (and others like me) now?

[CaptainPlanet]

"maybe again because I'm a tad shallow but really if we were to get in a relationship in the middle of sex he's not gonna be like "HEY, KNOCK, KNOCK!!!""

 

Thats awesome.

 

Anyway its better to be an ugly man because there are lots of jobs that ONLY ugly men do that pay lots of $$$ so the ugly men can save up and buy the pretty women using cars and houses and "financial security".

[danteml4]

I think they can equally have their advantages and disadvantages. Some women like unattractive men because they have money and power or because they find if they have an unattractive men there will be less chances of him cheating. Some men may or may not be the same way

[JadedStar]

Honestly, I just agree with you to a large extent. It's so refreshing to have a few non-PC viewpoints on these boards like yours'.

 

Physically ugly people are just that: physically ugly people. There is no two ways about it. Sure they can see confident, funny, intelligent, suave, financially successful blah blah, but at the end of the day there is going to be a considerate amount of prejudice against them because of their looks (or lack of).

 

It's not a question of being 'wrong' or 'right' here, it's just the way it goes. Ces't la vie.

 

When you are a person who believes you are ugly then of course anyone who affirms that is right in your eyes.

 

You are not ugly Ken and this is the crux of your entire problem.

[shes2smart]

The thoughts we hold within create our outer reality. This is how we can have so many different "realities" when we start talking about life experiences.

 

Change the thoughts, change the reality.

 

Easy? Nope. It's a hard, painful, time-consuming process.

 

Worthwhile? Depends on who you ask.

 

I know how miserable I was with the old thoughts I used to have. I also know how my life is now after having tinkered with improving my thoughts the last 15 or so years. I'm much happier with my life and myself now than I was then...and that, folks, has made all the difference in the world. So, for me it has been very worthwhile indeed.

 

My only regret is wasting most of my 20's wallowing in self-created misery.

[Raiden]

When you are a person who believes you are ugly then of course anyone who affirms that is right in your eyes.

 

You are not ugly Ken and this is the crux of your entire problem.

 

Hmm. Perhaps salem89 would care to see a photo of me? Just to lay the foundation for any further discussion.

[JadedStar]

Hmm. Perhaps salem89 would care to see a photo of me? Just to lay the foundation for any further discussion.

 

Why not share it iwth her then and ask her what she thinks.

 

But it is frustrating that when 30 people say you are not ugly and one person hesitates you automatically only believe the negative reply.

[dietrying]

If she says you're attractive, you won't believe her.

 

If she says you're unattractive, you'll say that she (and you) are right and those of us who say you're attractive are wrong even though we appear to be the majority.

 

So what's the point?

[Raiden]

If she says you're attractive, you won't believe her.

 

If she says you're unattractive, you'll say that she (and you) are right and those of us who say you're attractive are wrong even though we appear to be the majority.

 

So what's the point?

 

Why not share it iwth her then and ask her what she thinks.

 

But it is frustrating that when 30 people say you are not ugly and one person hesitates you automatically only believe the negative reply.

 

But, but, but..... don't you girls see? It's a question of maths. Every single girl I encounter in real life might think I'm ugly. It just so happens that the one's think I'm NOT ugly I never meet....

 

Bah. I give up arguing, lol. Anyway, salem89, observe

 

link removed

[Beec]

Ken2012 is unattractive because he thinks he is and lacks confidence. That's it in an of itself. Because he thinks he is unattractive, he is. If he thought otherwise, he wouldn't be, but he never will. So why try and change it?

[JadedStar]

Ken2012 is unattractive because he thinks he is and lacks confidence. That's it in an of itself. Because he thinks he is unattractive, he is. If he thought otherwise, he wouldn't be, but he never will. So why try and change it?

 

THat may be true but it makes it no less disturbing to see a young guy who is this self loathing. Still makes you wanna pull your hair out.

 

Sure, I can ignore his posts, but I actually am concerned for Ken. His posts are screaming out for something, help I guess, just not sure how we can give it.

[JoeWho]

Ken2012 is unattractive because he thinks he is and lacks confidence. That's it in an of itself. Because he thinks he is unattractive, he is. If he thought otherwise, he wouldn't be, but he never will. So why try and change it?

 

Amen to that!!!!

[Beec]

THat may be true but it makes it no less disturbing to see a young guy who is this self loathing. Still makes you wanna pull your hair out.

 

Sure, I can ignore his posts, but I actually am concerned for Ken. His posts are screaming out for something, help I guess, just not sure how we can give it.

 

Yes it is disturbing. But since many have tried and not all say the same thing, and there is still no change, perhaps it is beyond our power to change it or help him to do so.

[servedcold]

When it comes to attraction, you really don't need to attract all, most or even a significant portion of the gender you're attracted to. You need only click with one person (or two or three or whatever your preferred number if you're into polyamory).

 

People don't need to be "fixed" to be acceptable. Every single one of us is acceptable and fine and lovable as we are, where we are right now. If you do not believe that, I'd suggest you take a good long look at where you're getting your ideas from, and consider changing them to something that's going to serve, uplift and support you...not tear you down.

 

Nice thoughts, but not really addressing the topic, IMO. First, fetishists are irrelevant to the thread topic. Second, stating that you only need to click with one or two, while technically accurate, ignores the issue at hand entirely. Third, the question is not about self image or esteem, but simply whether unattractive men or unattractive women have a more difficult time attracting the opposite sex. This is a legitimate question with several different answers, but has more to do with objective treatment than self-esteem. Maybe I'm limiting the topic too much, but thought that was what the OP asked...

 

I think one poster said it best, an unattractive woman can get more sex than an unattractive man, so there's the answer right there... I don't think the thread was intended to question anything other than physical attraction unless I'm mistaken.

[shes2smart]

Nice thoughts, but not really addressing the topic, IMO. First, fetishists are irrelevant to the thread topic. Second, stating that you only need to click with one or two, while technically accurate, ignores the issue at hand entirely. Third, the question is not about self image or esteem, but simply whether unattractive men or unattractive women have a more difficult time attracting the opposite sex. This is a legitimate question with several different answers, but has more to do with objective treatment than self-esteem. Maybe I'm limiting the topic too much, but thought that was what the OP asked...

 

I think one poster said it best, an unattractive woman can get more sex than an unattractive man, so there's the answer right there... I don't think the thread was intended to question anything other than physical attraction unless I'm mistaken.

 

What you've quoted is a reply to a post made by matts0344 in this thread. That post stated that he was not attracted to larger women (which is fine and his absolute right to have that preference), however the way his post was worded appeared to present his personal definition of attractive as a universal definition, which it is not.

 

I think my opinion/answer on the original question was made pretty clear in my first post to this thread. I have made subsequent posts in response to other peoples' replies.

 

So if you equate getting less sex as being "worse," then that reasoning would make sense. However, not everyone is using that definition of "worse."

 

As I've mentioned in other places on this board, I have this problem where I see just about everything as interconnected to everything else. Been that way all my life. It would take a serious head injury involving brain damage to change it now.

[Miss M]

I happen to think both unattractive AND attractive females have it pretty rotten, since it seems we are both being chosen (or not) based on how we look on the outside.

 

And I think unattractive men have it pretty good, (since I often like them ). I think the biggest problem for unnattractive men is when they assume that women are rejecting them, missing out on the ones who aren't.

[Altruist]

I think it depends on how people meet. If an unattractive girl gets the chance to showcase her personality then she can be more attractive than the girls who are deemed physically attractive. An unattractive man is no different from an attractive man - both have to make the effort to talk to women before anything will happen.

[dietrying]

I think one poster said it best, an unattractive woman can get more sex than an unattractive man, so there's the answer right there...

 

How much sex you can potentially have determines how easy your life is?

[Altruist]

How much sex you can potentially have determines how easy your life is?

 

Obviously...with the right person of course.

[dietrying]

An unattractive female doing it with a very desperate man who wants sex wherever he can get it probably wouldn't be the right person.

 

And if the woman is a virgin (and choosing to stay that way) it's not going to matter how many men would sleep with her, she's not getting any sex anyway. Not everyone has sex.

[JadedStar]

Yes it is disturbing. But since many have tried and not all say the same thing, and there is still no change, perhaps it is beyond our power to change it or help him to do so.

 

I already know it is beyond our power, but it is human inclination to want to try to help anywAY.

[servedcold]

How much sex you can potentially have determines how easy your life is?

 

I looked back and realize that I have misread Iceman's OP. I thought he was asking whether unattractive men or women had it harder in attracting the opposite sex, looking back now, I'm not really sure what his specific question was.

[annie24]

I looked back and realize that I have misread Iceman's OP. I thought he was asking whether unattractive men or women had it harder in attracting the opposite sex, looking back now, I'm not really sure what his specific question was.

 

I still have no idea what the question is. hahaha. "worse in society" is subjective. many people have interpreted the topic to be about sex and getting dates, but what about other things? getting jobs, favors, appointments, respect from neighbors, etc.......