DestructoBoy

Hello friend, It has been many moons since I've posted on this site. Though I seldomly log on and post, I still come here occasionally for solitude and help.....anonymously. I wish you only knew how much you've helped me during my times of trouble. I just happened to log on tonight to find your post. I feel there is nothing I can say to relate or help you with the feelings you have. I basically am posting now to let you know that I'm thinking of you. I'm deeply saddened by the story and am lost for words. I write now to let you know that you and your friend will be in my thoughts. Please take care my old friend..........

Hello to all!! It's been a very long time since I've come here and I'm sure many of you wouldn't remember me or my plights. It was nice to see my account wasn't canceled. I greatly apologize for the length of this post in advance I turned 30 last week and it was very rough leading up to my birthday. So many things I wish I would have accomplished or avoided but I realized it wasn't something I need dwell upon. It's just one of those landmark ages that I thought I would've been a lot more settled than I am. C'est la vie!! That's not why I'm here though....last week a long time female friend of mine asked if she could take me out for drinks and dinner for my birthday(not uncommon). I said sure and we went to a really nice Irish Pub and had a blast. She had driven and picked me up, so upon her dropping me off at my apartment she asked if she could come in and sober up a bit (we were slightly inebriated) She did and we went into my room to listen to music I had on my computer. We were laughing and having a great time and ended up kissing and one thing led to another. Two hours later (4:47am) (not the whole time kids!!) she said she had to go home for she lives on the other side of the valley from me and needed to get ready and drag butt into work. I was miserably hung over the next day at work and ended up sitting in my office, door closed, thinking about the evening's events. I'm not sure how I feel about this? She has been a good friend for years from a previous job. Nothing has ever happened between us, yet we did always have an attraction to each other. We were always involved in other relationships. She called me the next evening and said she felt a bit awkward. I did too but didn't let on ensuring her that our friendship wouldn't change. She agreed and seemed a little relieved. So we yucked it up for a bit and got off the phone. However, I have been having a hard time not thinking about her and our night together. It was very nice and comfortable, unlike many of my other escapades as of late with women I just met. I have always enjoyed her company and she is quite stunning. I KNOW I'm not ready for any serious involvement and from our conversation the next day she seemed to feel the same way. She said things that she was confused about such as: "Do I have to call you everyday now?" (I know, silly) and "Are we to start seeing each other?" "Does he expect more now?" etc, etc..... So I just passed everything off as a one time excursion and we'd continue being the great friends we were; talking and seeing each other every so often. She called me last night and totally shot down her earlier stated fears. I believe she enjoyed our time too and has also been confused. I'm leaving this Friday to visit my family in Ohio for the Fourth of July and will be gone for a week. So, she asked me if I could call her or come hang with her tomorrow night before I leave. Here's the problem....I'm not sure that I want to get serious with her in the fear of hurting her or having a great friendship end??? I know this is long and seems more of a rant than a proposed question. I'm hoping my old friend Avman will catch this and send his keen advice!! It's great to know I can still come on here and anonymously gather unbiased input from some great people of all ages!!!

I received this in an email and thought it was nice enough to share with those of us who may be feeling blue. I'm sure many of you have seen this, but those that haven't, I hope you enjoy................ There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real! When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one, which has opened for us. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do. May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

He should talk to his physician about Wellbutrin. It only treats depression unlike others that claim to help depression and anxiety disorders. But if he's taking xanax and Wellbutrin he should be OK....as long as he doesn't pop a xanax before intimacy. The xanax should only be used when he feels very anxious or before bed to settle him down. With Wellbutrin for depression and xanax for anxiety/panic attacks he might be balanced out a bit. I'm not a doctor so don't take my advice as gospel. I recommend that you have him speak to his physician regarding meds that have little to no sexual side effects. If he can't enjoy sex it will probably make him more depressed. Depression is a frustrating mess..........you can help by being very patient and understanding to his moods and lack of emotion in some cases.

What is he taking and for how long? Has he noticed any improvement? There are a few anti-depressants that have little to no sexual side effects. I know Wellbutrin markets to the fact that there are no sexual side effects. He should talk to his doctor about what might be better for him.

From personal experience I have to agree with Carterjonas! Jealousy and insecurity would be at the top of my list.

Fist off, thank you dreamweaverdude, zab, and GettingOverIt for your support on my decision. It has been very hard not talking to her. She calls several times a day and emails too. Now that I haven't answered or replied she has stopped all contact. When I told her the way I felt she was hurt and very sad. She wanted to know why I couldn't be her friend as I have been for the past year. She said that she doesn't want a relationship with this guy and hopes he will understand that she only wants to be friends…(yeah right!) It tears me up to think that I have hurt her in anyway. I cherish this woman and if I were with her I'd never let her go. I feel as if I'm letting her down by not being able to handle this and support her as a friend. Like I said in my first post….. "We were friends first and foremost" I care for her so much. It's torturous to hear about her getting close to anyone else. Am I being weak by not being able to deal with this? Any female perspectives on this? Has anyone else been through something similar…please share???

Last year when I was going through the hardest times of my break-up I met someone very special. She was going through a very similar situation so we became close friends and helped each other immensely. It didn't take long for our feelings for each other to grow into more than just friends. She was always there for me when I was down and I for her. We talked everyday and night on the phone. The problem was we were very far apart from each other and both of us were still healing from our previous relationships. If we were close to each other we would be a great couple. I fell for her completely. I love this girl and she said she loved me. She was so caring, sweet, and absolutely beautiful. But the distance prevented us from being together. The distance also meant that I would have to understand that she would meet other guys and date. I was fine with this and was there for her when she needed advice. It was very difficult but we were friends first and foremost. I listened to her explain intimate relations with other guys and supported her decisions. I had a hard time ever telling her about my "relations". When I did tell her she always admitted that she was very jealous. So I refrained from telling her things that might upset her, yet I wouldn't lie to her if asked. Now it's been a year and we still talked every night. Until last week. She told me that she needed to be honest about something. She then proceeded to tell me about this guy that she went to school with that always asked her out then all of the sudden stopped calling her. 6 mos later he calls…last week. He claims that he always liked her very much and blah blah blah. He asked her out and she accepted. This guy is only out for one thing and he's made that almost crystal clear by his actions before and now. This was it for me. I couldn't stand to think about her with him and I noticed myself feeling very jealous and upset. Feelings very similar to the way my ex made me feel. With this I decided to stop talking to her. I can't stand by and listen to her talk about another guy again. Due to my feelings for her it has become unbearable to hear these things knowing about this guy and what he's up to. I told her I couldn't do it anymore and wished her luck. Did I do the right thing? I had to do it for myself. The pain was too familiar for me. I miss her very much but can't deal with this anymore…..

Anyone else have an opinion?

I guess that's the best way to do it...short and sweet. I really want to tell her to put a leash on that mother trucker!

I'm almost 100% that she will. We haven't seen each other in 8 months and she has recently been sending me emails telling me how sorry she is for driving me crazy and how she realizes how great I was...blah....blah. All signed with love, her...and also with stupid nicknames that I had for her. After that whole spectacle I'd be very surprised if she didn't write. I just wish that bastage would of kept his mouth shut. It was actually nice to see her and I wasn't going to initiate conversation...only smile and wink. I'm sure she feels the same way. It was obvious she enjoyed seeing me. I'm looking good too!! hahahaha! She'll write.....I'm almost positive. If not oh well..... If she does what should I say, if anything at all?

fazed me at all?

Hahahahaha! I would never go looking for trouble. It sometimes happens upon me and I make the best of it, but I would never look for confrontation with this little chump. If something ever did happen I wouldn't kill him. I would just thrash him to within one inch of his life! just kidding.............. I hope to never see him or her again!

This guy was all bark, no bite. I could see that right away. He did the usual "act crazy" psycho rantings calling me a p***y and a b***h. It was indeed a sight to see. My buddy that was with me is 6'4" and he usually wouldn't let someone talk like that to him or me. But he too saw that there was nothing to be gained by fighting. I feel a lot better today knowing I didn't do anything. However, I do fantasize about knocking his teeth into the back off his head. Is that bad? I am worried about what will happen if I see them again and he pulls that same act? I can take the higher road most of the time but I do have my limits.

Sorry about the double-post my computer went crazy. I was thinking the same thing. She had to be embarrassed. I know she hates when guys act like that. He really looked stupid. Thanks Hockeyboy, I'm glad someone understands.