Tears May Fall

can i ask one thing...i sometimes feel like i just need to talk to her like have a mature conversation, and let her know that i know about her and this other guy and i dont feel thats right...or just let it be and keep my mouth shut and just move along?? You know when u just want to sometimes get something off your chest...thats what it is

Thanks for all the help. I saw her at work today, and acted normal around her, spoke to her like as if nothing had ever happened. Im not one to really hold grudges, be vengeful, or just be mad at anyone, my life is too good to waste time being upset so i prefer to just always have fun and make the most of each and everyday. If i show anger, i feel as though its a waste of my energy and it brings me down along with it, and i try to keep myself positive minded and happy at all times. Besides, if i let her see that its affecting me, then she'll have the upper hand, even though i hate playing games, but its the world we live in.

Wow that is EXACTLY what had happened between us. The relationship wasn't exactly spectacular, there wasnt the greatest chemistry between us, she stated when she broke it off that she felt we were "too different," and i can concur to that as well. I never felt we had that special click. Maybe she has found someone who she can feel more compatible with. What hurt me more than anything, was my father had just died, i was in an emotional upheaval, i had no time to bicker with the relationship nor to spend with her, yet i still managed to try to give her some time rather than none, and yet she would say "you have no time for me." She asked me a week before she split with me if i saw this going anywhere, and i said quite honestly at the moment, im not so sure, but i just feel you havent gotten to know the real me through all the chaos with my dad, and now that im trying to put that behind me, give me a chance, a couple of weeks for us to hang out more than we ever did, just to get to know each other better again and see if we do feel right for each other or not. She agreed at the time, but then never hung out with me again, giving me excuses each time i'd ask her to hang out, and a few days later, cut it off with me, even thought i told her before that i needed her more than ever right now. Guess some people are just more selfish than u can expect, as she stated "i gotta look out for myself too you know"

I definitely am that way, being the bigger person, i wouldnt ever wish anything bad on anyone, atleast not intentionally, even if i do so subconsciously because its hard not to, i'll fight my thoughts and say thats still wrong, and if she's happy, then let her be, but i still have every right to basically hate her guts, but i'll be mature about it and keep it to myself rather than start something when everything has already ended.

yea i try to think of it in positive ways, that im better off not being with such a selfish minded girl anyway, but it isn't easy. I mean i wasnt even with her long, never even really developed any sort of deep feelings or attachment for her, and yet it still is frustating. The only choice i have left to make is to just act how i normally do whether she is there or not, and be myself, be professional. I dont see him at all because him and I dont work the same shift ever, even though i dont really mind him because he was actually a pretty cool guy, and on his part, unless he knew about us beforehand, he did nothing wrong. On her part though, thats not right, because shes worked with him for almost a year now, and that means she's had her eye on him for quite some time, before she met me even, and thats very upsetting. But some people just aren't respectable, and I would love to treat her so but i dont think its even worth my time to bother acknowledging that much detail about her so I definitely just treat her like the water cooler as you said, lol. Thanks for the advice or i mightve blown on her this weekend. About the karma thing, ive tried relying on that in the past, and i dont know anymore. Maybe it was me that deserved to be hurt and for her to deserve someone else who could spend more time with her, but then again, my time issue was an entirely unique issue at the time due my father's illness, and that can be read in my thread i stated about in the first post.

well i had posted here a few weeks back stating basically how a recent g/f of mine broke it off with me soon after my dad had passed away, heres the link to that post ] Now she had gotten me a job at the hospital we now work at a few months back. When she was on the verge of breaking up with me, I had the feeling she was seeing someone else when we split, and soon after we split, i came to find out recently she is indeed going out with someone else in our same department. Now this is just absolutely frustating, and i cant stand the sight of her. She still wants to act like everything is all good and we can be friends, but as for myself, im totally up in flames over how she could quite possible do this. I really dont care about our relationship anymore, as i completely forgot about as soon as she broke it off with me and dont miss her or want her back. However the thoughts dont leave my mind as to how she could do this. Now its just frustating having to look forward to seeing her at work every now and then. I actually just woke up out of a dream where i bumped into the two of them together, and basically this indicates to me that i still subconsciously think about her, but only in a negative, angry way, with no real feelings involved anymore. It still angers me, and now only more as i concretely know she is indeed going out with someone else in our same department. How the heck do i deal with this and just get her off my mind?

St John's it is

Thanks for the regards hosswhispra. Just outta curiosity, where did u graduate from?

hey everyone, thanks for the advice, and i agree with you that it was a selfish move on her part, and im over the thought of being with her, it just still upsets me how someone can have the heart, or lack of, to do such. I wouldnt care how bad the relationship is going, if my g/f, serious or not, had just lost a parent, i couldnt see myself doing anything but being there, and if she wanted to end the relationship and needed time, i would let her do that too, but i wouldnt ever leave her myself. Howswhiper, how i got through finals right after he passed, i dunno either, but my family helped support me alot, and basically said, you can take them if you feel strong enough, just remember he's looking down on you and all he wants is to see you doing good, being happy, and successful, and thats all the inspiration i needed to pull myself through it, but definitely was nearly impossibly to remain focused and pull through, i was in disbelief myself, especially it being my 5th year of pharmacy school. I think one other thing thats getting to me right now, is also that my mom is still back home in my country, and i came back earlier than she did, because i have clinicals to start now, and so im home all alone, i have no siblings either, and the loneliness is hitting me twice as hard.

Basically to try to make a long story short, me and a girl from college dated for 3 months or so, were never officially labeled as bf/gf but it was exclusive, or atleast it seemed so at the time from the way she described what she wanted. We would hang out, have a good time, but i couldnt see her so often because i had just informed, right when we started talking, that my dad was recently diagnosed with a really severe terminal cancer. My schedule for the next 3 months was as follows, go to school, either go to work, or on days off study until 8 or so, go to the gym for an hour, go see my dad at the hospital and pick up my mom, go home, either go to sleep or hang out for like an hour or two with some of my friends from my block that ive known all my life. I tried to see her in the midst of it on evenings and some weekends, usually unfortunately no more than twice a week. I really wanted to see her too, but if i couldnt see her, id call her all the time to speak on the phone, everynight at the least, and would tell her atleast we can speak on the phone, but she wasnt much of a phone person. She said she understood, but kept feeling that i had all the time in the world for my friends but none for her. My friends were different for me in this type of situation, i having known them for 22 years and them feeling for my dad like it was a dad for them too, and to top it off, i had a friend from that crew whose father just died the same way a month back, so i was able to relate to him. I was going through a real hard time, my dad was slowly dying, and i was very emotional, not able to really think strait or concentrate and know right from wrong. My anger, emotions and mental block from that situation held me back from really ever giving my all, physically and emotionally, to this girl. Then my dad died, this was the first week of december. She was really sorry, had attended the funeral, and was there for me, took me out for my birthday the following week, but i was being a turtle in a shell, wanting the whole world to leave me alone. I wanted to get finals over with and then just relax and try to get myself together again. We had an argument one night at her place during finals week, after me having spent the whole day at her dorm studying and stuff, she absent mindedly blurted out after something i said about how today was the longest time we spent together in one day, she goes "ofcourse it would be, you never have any time for me." I just flipped out and said my dad just * * * *in died and youre gonna tell me that, you're unbelievable and i got my stuff and just slammed the door and left. We didnt speak for a few days and when we did i apologized for leaving the way i did but i told her i was upset and she said she was sorry too for saying that. Then I told her that just give me until finals are over and i promise we'll hang out more and for us to get to know each other better. Not even a week later, she breaks up with me. Basically stating the usual crap "oh you're a great guy but i just dont see this going anywhere and i dont think we're not right for each other, we're too different." She also stated how she felt i had all the time in the world for my friends but never any for her. I could see that being true from her end, and i know this wasnt a fair relationship for her, but all i asked was for her to be patient with me, because i was going through a rough time and as soon as i can get my mind a little freed off all this, i can be the man you want me to be, but i guess it wasn't enough. She still wanted to be friends afterwards though. I feel as though she was indefinitely seeing someone else at the time, and i know she's in a relationship with him at the moment even, i know that for a fact, and i even think its someone else that we work with. To top things off, she had gotten me a job at a hospital where she works, in mid december, and so i occasionally have to see her at work too. We still speak every now and then, but i think i cut that off starting yesterday. My question to everyone is, if i never really had any serious attachment or feelings for this girl, why am i still so upset and hurt by it. Not so much hurt, but just really angry and upset, and i cant seem to get my mind off it. Any suggestions?? I really wish i can go out there and start dating again, but im just not in the state of mind to do so, and need to be home with my mom and im very busy with my two jobs and clinical rotations from school.

Thanks for the advice

Yea i had those dreams where in the midst of my dream id see him walking around and i'd be like "wait, i thought you were dead, what in the world is going on." My dad basically died a slow death, in a hospital bed. I had gotten to see him one last time the night before he passed and i was the last one that had seen him, and i still remember his last words and they keep playing in my mind over and over, "you know that i love you too much." Its killing me all these thoughts, memories, dreams, and just living in the reality that i will never see him again. I miss him so much, and I really dont see things getting better. weird how your scuba diving had a way of playing into your dreams, i dont even understand how that worked its way out. I really dont know how to accept it because my dad just wanted to do so much before he died, and he kept strongly saying he's going to be alright, and the poor guy didnt make it. He didnt deserve to die like that, and it gets me really angry(i punch walls and throw stuff at times) when i think of him laying in his bed, not being able to move, not being able to eat, weighing barely 90 lbs at his death, but still smiling.

Myself being a pharmacist, i can give you info on lexApro, but kellbell did say it as simple and complete as possible, dont ever go cold turkey off an antidepressant. You have to be weened off. I dont know what dose you're on at the moment, im assuming 20 mg. It can take anywhere from 6 to 12 weeks just to get the peak effect of drugs in that class, and just as long to get a patient off them, usually in 2 week intervals of dose titrations. I know you may feel like you're fine now, but you've got to realize the medication is also probably taking its peak effect now, so i wouldn't be able to tell you what to do next, only a psychiatrist would be able to figure that out upon evaluating you. It is true to an extent that being on it only a few months as opposed to years will effect your withdrawal from the medication in a positive way. Antidepressants basically work by reconfiguring a chemical imbalance in your brain, serotonin in the case of lexapro, and change the amounts of it circulating through your body, and this takes time to do, and the same way it will take time to reverse the process, and if not done accordingly, there can be some serious adverse effects. Once again, it is difficult to say whether or not you can come off the medication just like that at the moment, a psychiatric evaluation would only determine that. If you have any other questions, feel free to PM me.

I had posted a week or so ago about how my g/f broke it off with me shortly after my dad had passed away earlier this month, and you can refer to that about the story of my life the past couple of months. He basically had a quick, painful death from pancreatic cancer at a young age and it was extremely shocking to all of us. Now lately i've just been having these dreams about him, about him never having really died and that it was all just a bad dream, no pun intended. He is either cured from cancer and alive and healthy, or he doesnt die when he did and is still alive and im still able to see him. It makes me happy through the night to be spending more time with him again, but then when i awake, i am only more sad and in grief. I occasionally also have dreams of my ex g/f, but theyre mainly negative dreams of me seeing her with a new guy or having another encounter with her and expressing my anger with her. This also has a degrading effect on me upon waking up. The other problem with her and I is we are now also coworkers and i dont know how to deal with that situation. In someways i feel like sleeping all day, and in others i dont feel like sleeping at all. This is very troubling and i need some help. I dont know if i should seek counseling regarding this. Is this normal to be having these sort of dreams in this situation? Is it an indication of anything? Any help would be appreciated

btw, i haven't contacted her since, im good usually with not calling or anything after a breakup. She IMed me the other night and we had a short talk about how xmas went and when are we working this week, thats all. Well as for now, im off to vermont to go skiing the rest of the week, so im just going to go enjoy that.

yea its hard enough for me to deal with all the emotions going on at home, and now i have to deal with someone i cared about ditching out on me and then giving me the run around about exactly why shes doing so. I am not even really missing her or sad or anything, actually just real upset, let down and simply in shock that she could do that when i just a few days before that asked to give me some time over the holidays to spend together. I strongly feel that she might even be seeing someone else in the midst of all this. I still dont know how imma feel about working with her now, i wont see her again at work till next tuesday (1/3). She wants to be friends, as all dumpers do, but im just so upset at her i dont even wanna see her face. Im lost, confused, hurt, and let down, but im glad i have you guys to give me any sorta feedback, any little bit helps, thanks everyone.

I am a soon to be pharmacist (just finished most of my didactical part of school), and I can give you pretty much as much info on plan B as anyone can. Overall, it decreases the likelihood of achieving conception from 8% down to 1%, and when used properly within 72 hours of accidental insemination/intercourse, will work very effectively to prevent a pregnancy from occurring. To get to your question, abdominal pain is a very common side effect of taking plan B or any hormonal contraceptive, as well as nausea, fatigue, dizziness, vomiting (which if occurring within one hour of taking the tablet, will reduce the effectiveness and may end up in failure of contraception), headache, bloating, irregular menses/bleeding, breast tenderness, possible fluctuations in sugar levels. These side effects are mainly however limited to just shortly after having taken the drug, usually you're looking at a 24 to 48 hour window, 72 hours would even be pushing it but possible. There are many other not so common side effects, but usually they are self limiting, only to within several hours or days within taking the medication, and once off, will return to normal. My question would be how soon after the intercourse she took the planB, how she felt immediately within taking it, if she takes any other medications, any other significant past medical history, and where in the abdomen she is experiencing pain and to describe the pain to me. It is unusual to have the pain several days after having completed the course. I cannot indicate whether it is a possibility of pregnancy or not. If it is extreme lower abdomen pain, it can be indicative of possible cervical complications, but that would be highly unlikely, unless she has had any sort of problems in the past with irregular menses or cervical complications. Only a lab test would prove whether she is pregnant and the pain is possibly coming from that.

yea, you guys are right, especially annie with saying that a good partner would stick it out during tough times and be more understanding and supportive. It's difficult to analyze and understand how working together is going to be. The reason i would want to be with her again is to show her more so who i really am when im not obliged by emotional distress and to give her a better impression of me, and that's all i wanted to try to prove over the next few weeks or month or so, but even that seemed like too much to ask for from her. Selfish on my part, i can see where you're coming from on that, and it is indeed true, but with all the unsteadiness in my life, mind and feelings at this point, i am unfortunately going to be more needy and recieving and less giving, even thought that's not my goal, its what naturally occurs. Im trying however to get on with my normal life and self as time goes on, but in these situations, time doesnt change much because the fact that my dad is gone doesnt change, and the memories of us last being together only grow more distant and the missing only gets worse.

Ill try to make it short. I met a girl earlier in the semester(sept), at college, and we have been dating exclusively since. I met her one day before my dad was diagnosed with end stage terminal cancer. He was extremely ill and needed mine and my moms support. I commuted to school, so i was able to stay at home alot to be there with him. I told her this the first time we went out on a date, and she was ok with it. She knew i had time restrictions and other priorities, but she liked me enough to say she wanted to go along with it and see where it goes. Things with dad just progressively got worse, and he was eventually in a situation where he was permanently bed riden in a hospital, and me and the family would go see him pretty much everyday. In the midst of this, i was also very stressed out and couldnt stand seeing him like this, and my close friends who lived on my block and have known my dad my whole life, would constantly take me out to hang out and get my mind off of things. I liked hanging out with them because they could relate the pain since it affected them just as much as my dad was like a father to all of them. With her however, i didnt seem to ever have time to really hang out, we'd get together maybe once or twice a week, get something to eat and go back to her dorm and hang out for a few hours. I was constantly under alot of pressure from my family to be there with my dad, and the free time i had i spent with my friends from my block cuz they were very close to me from my entire life, all 22 years theyve known me, and also my mom knows them and didnt mind me hanging out with them. On the other hand, it was difficult to pull off hanging out with her in the midst of all my struggles. Nonetheless i would speak to her and tell her i know im going through a rough time and i hate to pull you into this with me, but i enjoyed her comfort as well. I was unfortunately in a state of mind where all i wanted was to receive, and didnt really care about giving. I wasn't mentally strong enough to know what was right or wrong, and how to properly think things through and understand certain responsibilites. I just wanted to sit back and not care what i did, cuz I was just really angry all the time. I was totally not my self, normally im the type that gives to everyone and puts myself in other peoples shoes before anything, and this time around i wasn't. I even told her one weekend i was gonna stay with my dad all weekend and couldnt see her, and went out with my friends for a few hours in between, and she got really upset. She kept feeling like i had all the time in the world for my friends, but never any for her. That wasn't true, atleast i dont think so, but that is probably how it came accross from the other side. I didnt know how to sort out my life at the time. Then my dad passed away earlier this month, and i was just a mess, through the funeral and all, even more of a mess i should say for a week or two. I didnt speak to nobody, except the night i went out for my birthday, and the night she took me out for my birthday as well. I was a silent ghost, i shut off the world, and just wanted to be left alone. I finished finals(dunno how) and school was over and I felt relieved and felt i can finally think a little more clearly again, and just be home with my family and try to relax and get our lives back on track and put my dads loss behind me hopefully and try to get myself back to my old self, since that is what my dad would like to see when looking down. Her on the other hand, actually one night had the nerve to say to me, you never have time for me. This is two weeks after my dad passed away, and i couldn't believe what i was hearing. Still i accepted her apology the next day, and i told her at that point that now that finals are over, i want to take the winter break for us to get together more often and bond better and get closer since i have one less thing on my mind and that you can help me get away from some of my problems of being home, since being home is just hard for me to live in where my dad used to be everyday. A week after that, two days ago, she cut it off with me, stating that she doesnt see this going anywhere, and that she doesnt feel we're right for each other. She once again stated that she feels that even with everything that was going on in, u still had time for your friends, but never for me. I could understand where she was coming from on that, but i also tried to tell her i wasn't myself and i wasn't thinking strait, i didnt know how to make well rounded decisions. I told her now that finals are over, I have one less stress on my mind, and that also its been a couple of weeks now, and i want to get my life back to what i hope i can make normal again, atleast try to, and to try to be myself again, since i hate to have my dad look down and see me being a mess. She nonetheless stated, i have to do whats best for me and at this point, i just dont see this going anywhere, i cant be in this any longer. Then she gave me the classical, i just feel we should take it one step back, and just be friends for now and we can get to know each other better as friends instead and take it from there, and to top it off guys, we now work together too, so i have no choice but to see her several times a week. So i guess i dont have a choice but to be friends at this point. I just found it real selfish of her to act this way and split it off with me at such a tough time in my life. I miss her but im really upset at her too, and dont even want to see her face. I bought her a really expensive dooney and bourke bag for xmas last week and i dont even know if i should still give it to her, but she knows i got her something. I dont know how to feel or take this now, it really hurts and makes this only more difficult, when i was hoping i could start to feel better. What should i do guys, im rreally lost and confused.

no she has not been diagnosed as bi-polar. Actually in fact, i think she might actually have NPD, narcissistic personality disorder, more many reasons i have seen that have come along with time, and ofcourse, one with NPD will never really see a doctor to actually confirm a condition because they think they are just perfectly fine, if in fact more than just fine.

Ok i was with this girl for about 8 months, she was alot older than me, 29 while im 21, and basically the relationship ended with her saying she doesnt see any reason to be in this relationship anymore, that its not benefitting her in anyway, etc. I treated the girl very good for the time i was with her, almost practically felt like i was perfect to her and couldnt have been any better to her, whereas she was the on and off type, somedays she felt like the luckiest girl in the world, and other days wasnt sure why she was with me. Very harsh and cold breakup but anyway, thats not the point. She wanted to remain friends, and we had a few talks on the phone, but there was still some bitterness being exchanged, and then we didnt speak for like almost two weeks. One day, about a month after we broke up, i decided to just call her out of the blue, and she responded in a very positive way, sounding excited to hear from me, saying "wow i didnt think u'd call me again, whats the miracle." So we spoke about things, mainly just about what one another has been upto, and we both seem to have been keeping ourselves busy, and i didnt really at any point sound like i still wanted her or showed any signs of weakness or anything of the sort. We spoke for about half hour and then said we'll keep in touch. The next day, she called me in the evening with the most bizarre question, asking me, if i had one of my friends call her last night, and my immediate reaction was, i have no clue what you're talking about. I told her very strait out, no, why in the world would i have someone call u, none of my friends even have your number, and so no, i have no clue what you're talking about. She goes to me, you're lying. Im like why would i lie, i really dont know what you're talking about. She's like you're absolutely certain that you dont know anything about this, about why a friend of yours called me last night, and now has somethings to want to say in return to you, does any of this ring a bell. Once again, my answer was, no, i still have no clue wut you're talking about, i didnt tell anyone to call u yesterday. So she goes, you're lying, you're just as dishonest as i should have suspected, and then shes like, do me a favor, dont ever speak to me again, and she clicks. Havent heard from her since, and this was over 3 weeks ago. Now i have no idea as to what in the world shes talking about, so i send her a long email basically letting her know, that she can say whatever she wants about me, call me a liar, but thats messed up to accuse me when i didnt do nothing or i dont know anything of what shes speaking about. No reply from the email. From what a couple of my friends said, she prolly just made something up, tried to throw it at me to confuse me, and make something up in her mind to accuse me of so that she can have something to hold me liable to(in her mind atleast), which is all made up, so i dont get it anyway, as to why she would do so, but some people are crazy like that. She does have issues with trusting people, and she is a bit on the bi-polar or inconsistent side. Do people really make up stories like this in their own mind? What do you guys think? BTW, this was over 3 weeks ago, but it just still kinda bothers me

Althought a bit pricey, available at almost any pharmacy over the counter, you can get an ointment called Mederma, specifically designed for scar removal and #1 recommended by pharmacists/doctors, as i do recommend it to various patients. Now the healing does depend on the type of scar, how long ago you got it, and the severity of it. The wound must be completely closed and healed before intiating the treatment. It has a rigorous and strict guideline for application which you must follow for optimal results, which is usually that its applied four times a day, for atleast 8 weeks, sometimes 12. Vitamin E, cheaper but not necessarily an alternative. Its better to buy the capsules, pierce them and just apply the oil from inside the capsule, much more potent and pure, however i dont really think it works as well as people say. Cocoa butter can be useful in certain cases, but not always, usually not on deep scars, where kelloidal tissue is formed.

Im not surprised by the study and outcome, although 4 days is a little fast to display results and it might be entirely psychological the results, in which case the study might be biased, if lets say the makers of Centrum or One-A-Day conducted the study. You'll be surprised at what just eating more healthily, staying in shape, and taking in the correct vitamins/nutrients can do for the body. I couldnt being to tell you how many patients we have at our pharmacy, that we consistently recommend taking a daily multi-vitamin, and how much it can improve ones daily life. A large part of this study would depend on one particular thing, what type of nutrition was the case recieving prior to initiation of the multi-vitamin, and then they would have to setup controls of people already in good health vs people with depression/neurological conditions, pre and post multi-vit. and also people with neurological conditions who were following good nutrition. and this would have to be whats called a "double blinded case control study," where these is various groups, and also placebo's included.

A bruise occurs from internal bleeding, hence a ruptured or damaged vessel, hence the only thing i could possibly think of is that you are somehow rupturing blood vessels (capillaries most likely) due to some type of unknown cause. Have you ever had problems with your skin being very sensitive? Do certain types of makeps, soaps, detergents make your skin get irritated easily? do you wear very tight clothing? try pinching your skin or sucking on your arm for like 10-15 seconds, and see if it gets really red or even bruised, this could perhaps tell you if you just have sensitive skin. Nothing dramatic to worry about at your age, but it might not be as simple to deal with as you get older, since your body wont heal as quickly and easily then. Even though you didnt state anything about it, do you have any type of blood pressure fluctuations, anemia, hemophilia or other medical conditions which might possibly be related to this? Blood vessels are composed of certain types of proteins and various cell molecules, and if you're deficient in certain type of nutrients, or your body lacks production of certain enzymes or mechanisms, then the blood vessel membranes wont be as rigid, and can be prone to these type of experiences you're dealing with.

well this wouldnt be happening at the present time, ill be graduating soon enough and making good money, and then ill be able to really consider it. And yes, 6 grand does seem kinda steep for a nose job, but most of the good surgeons ive gotten referrals of in NYC, charge just around that much for any type of rhinoplasty. Thanks for the support everyone, atleast you guys are being realistic with me unlike my family who just says "oh your nose is fine"