SweetTartz

Oh my good lord...slow down cowboy...let's not think about marriage just yet OK??? Let's get through dinner first. 1&2 - say hello, you look very lovely - hand her some flowers. No physical contact yet. 3 - no speaking of exs until the 3rd date. 1st dates are about getting to know each other...hobbies, work, family, friends, favorite movie, what book she's ready, where her last vacation was...superficial stuff. Nothing heavy like politics or ex-relationships. 4 - don't ask her in - but offer to walk her to her door. 5 - if dinner went great - you'll know if she's interested in a 2nd date. If you had nothing in common and had to drink 2 bottles of wine to get through dinner, don't bother. If it went well, tell her - then casually bring up dinner and a movie the following Friday evening. 6 - send her flowers the following day - thank her for a lovely evening and that you wish to see her soon. Give it a day - then call her..she if she got the flowers - it'll be a nice segway into calling her. Good luck. Take this slow.

My first love, Ernest, and I parted ways about 5 years ago. Since then we've managed to become friends. We've both grown as individuals and was able to strengthen our relationship. Last January - he confessed that he still had feelings for me and that he wanted to give it another try. I was in a rocky relationship at the time so I wasn't really ready for that. But we kept in contact. He left for the war a month or so after that (he's a Marine) ...before he left, things got intimate between us...he said when he returned, he would marry me. I got involved with someone in May - that didn't work out. Ernest has been back a couple of months now...I've made peace with "us". We're better off as friends. I just got an email from one of his exgirlfriends (still not sure how she knew how to contact me). She warned me to be careful - that Ernest was still married to his wife and was expecting his second child soon. She even sent pictures! I'm speechless. Not only did he lie to me, he abused my trust and totally overstepped the boundaries of our friendship. I feel like such a fool! My question - do I confront him? Do I leave this alone? Never speak to him again? I'm so confused!

I really wouldn't read into that one...my boss (female) calls my name all the time...sometimes it's just out of habit... My question is - would you put your job at jeopardy if you actually act on your attraction? Office romance are complicated.

A female orgasm feels - well, it varies...it's either a slow steady throb which ends up comsuming you or an explosion that shatters you...I really don't know how to explain it...you can't control it...and you definitely can't force it... Is he hitting your clitoris?? Have him simulate you...once you can't handle it anymore - keep going...and relax...a slow burn will creep in...then you'll feel like you're about to faint....it's slow...ugh...just enjoy it. Learn each other's bodies..makes sex a whole lot more than just an act...make it an experience.

I think I've cried each and every time I've gotten flowers - regardless if it's from my parents or from a boyfriend/potential suitor - it's a VERY sweet gesture. It's actually a lost art form...guys should do it more often!

I'm not too familiar with child labor laws..but I think 14 may be a little young to do this one legally... Errands for neighbors...bus tables for a local restaurant (off the books)...paper route (do people still do that?) Talk to your parents...maybe they have some chores for you to do...in exchange for some cash?

What did he do exactly? Somethings are more forgivable... My problem is...so OK, he thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread...he didn't know that before??? Sorry to be so skeptical. I say we all deserve a second chance...but are you willing to go through all the turmoil with him again??

So basically you both did a no no - you invaded her privacy and she cheated. Two wrongs don't make a right...but I guess the ends justify the means. I don't think you need to let her know how you found out. And I don't necessarily think you need to let her know why you need to leave. I guess what I'm saying is - be direct, just not 100% opened. "Hey, this isn't working for me anymore. I don't trust you. This could never work out between us." Good luck.

Wow...I would seriously try the therapy route again...no one likes to expose themselves - to their partner or a virtual stranger but I think she needs to work out some stuff...does she have a poor body image? Self esteem issues? What's stopping her from being intimate? It's flattering that you care so much about her...but unless you're both happy with the relationship (physical or not), it's not healthy for either of you stay where you are.

I completely agree with SwingFox...but then personal experience has taught me it's easier said than done. I've fallen back into bed with my ex many many times...and always got burned for it. I mistaken the intimacy for more ...so it lead me to want more...meanwhile, he just thought it was a great roll in the sack. What did I do? Block him from contacting me..every which way possible. Eventually, you realize your worth and what you deserve...just have to create that space so you can think logically. Be careful. You're obviously still emotionally vested in this..it's not fair for you two to be on different pages. Just remember..you deserve more.

OK - I'll TRY to respect your "wish" list...but tell me this...what do YOU have to offer?? You're asking for a lot...you better be prepared to give oodles in return. The nerve.

I think all life's experiences, good and bad, are meant to each us about ourselves...how we react to others, how we react to ourselves. It stretches you beyond your norm. So yes, it's better to have loved and lost...you wouldn't feel lost if you didn't feel love. No point of comparison. We as humans, tend to dwell on the bad...we forget how to appreciate things sometimes.

Ugh..I hate these games. My advise to you would be - BE YOURSELF. Do what YOU want to do - be true to yourself. I tend to either put myself way overboard or way under par...but at the end, I know I can't doubt my intensions or what happened. I did my best - and if it wasn't good enough, time to move on. If you really care about the person - what's the harm in you letting them know? You got it off your chest. You did your best. If they don't reciprocate, then at least you don't have anything to regret. It's no longer up to you, but them to decide where to go. Hope this helps. Good luck.

Personally - I always find it flattering when a complete stranger compliments me. It's also in the delivery though - it's different coming from a construction worker than it is from a normal person. Oh, cat calling - not a compliment. "Hi, I'm sorry to disturb you but you're absolutely stunning" THAT'S a compliment! Don't use lines...doesn't work. Just be direct. I don't really care one way or the other if he asks me out if I'm with friends or alone. Might be more difficult to get me alone...again, it's all in the delivery. Respect is key. Hope this helps Good luck!!!!!

I think it's normal to see your parents as the PARENT rather as the FRIEND too. I went through that period - I was trying to rebel, yet strangely also in need of them in my life. It takes time to see your parents as equals. You go through your entire life of seeing them as the role model, as the figure, authority head...something will eventually click and they can also be your friend. For me, it took me going away for college to really appreciate my parents for the people they were, along with their role in my life. You need to know that they love you and no matter what, they'll support you. You'll bump heads from time to time. You'll also feel that they don't understand you -- but they do. It doesn't take much...give them a hug, tell them you love them - and walk away. No expectations from them. If you need to talk...want to talk to them...set up some time. My brother actually "set a date" with my parents once. Asked them out to dinner (so it's a nuetral territory rather than in their house) to have a serious discussion with them. I say be honest..even though it requires some nerves and swallowing of the ego..."Hey, do you have time for me...I need to talk to you." Good luck.