tattoobunnie

Because he has very little respect for you. The age difference excuse is an excuse.

One, he's a textbook narcissist. And two, a super boring lame one to boot. At least some will wine and dine you before they start gaslighting you into the fetal position. RUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! If you can between falling asleep at how lame he is.

Your date was for Saturday. And Saturday is before Easter. Hmm...her timeline is odd. Sounds like she had something else to do instead.

Cuz, One, you secretly want to know if they are failing in life or getting their comeuppance with what they did to you. Two, you are trying to find a bit of freedom by thinking of your ex because you moved in with your current girl too soon. Three, curiosity killed the cat. You are a human, and allowed to think of other people. Four, things are going so well, you are waiting for the other shoe to drop...self sabotage Five, she's not the one for you. Six, all of the above. Seven, your mind is looking for closure, so thinking about them to process emotions, so you can move forward. Could be anything.

So instead of working towards getting closer with his kids and you again, he has an affair. And the fact he planned it by hotel with flowers means it was not his first time, nor did he plan to have it be his last time. Instead of buying you flowers...he brought her flowers. Let that sink in. Instead of buying you flowers to get closer to you...he bought another woman flowers, got a hotel to bang her, then blames you and your kids for his actions. This guy is a straight up scum bucket loser. Whatever you do, make sure you find where all the money is, accounts, assets, bonds, stocks, etc. My husband has been away for work, and I am on my own with my little kids for 6 to 8 week stretches, and I work full-time as well, and we aren't having affairs with other people. If you want a relationship with your kids, you make plans, and do them. He can blame your folks, or he could have asked them to do them during the week, or if he could join, or he could say "not this weekend" to your folks. Don't buy his excuse...it's truly just a way to gaslight you.

Let him move in with you.

Call her today and, or leave a message (NO TEXTING) with an idea of where to go; museum, cafe, bowling, hit some baseballs, sporty stuff, go for a hike, picnic at sunset...too early for you to just put your feet up like your old friends. Don't be that guy. Woo her for at least six dates. It may be old fashioned, but I would be super turned off by that uninventive passiveness.

My husband was out of work for two years because of COVID, and has a 790 credit score. It's not job dependent. It is based on you length of credit held, number of accounts held with a debt to balance ratio, and payment history behavior, such as late or missed payments. So you have a 500ish score because you didn't pay bills, so don't blame your wife. You are currently an unemployed drug addict, and you want your wife to shower you with hearts and kisses? Just because you haven't been on a bender where you are gone for days does not mean you aren't an addict. Try taking accountability for your actions, and get yourself to a rehab. If I were her, I'd be tired of you blaming everyone else for your choices too, and say the same things to you. This is very common among addicts though, having family and friends get to the other side, so while I know you want me or other posters to say how wicked your wife is, dude, you aren't doing yourself any favors. Also, your senses are tweaked, and receptors are completely off, so what may seem like yelling or talking calmly...things aren't as they may appear to what is really happening. You need to get clean.

Not sure where you live, but in the US, you would qualify for respite programs, day treatment centers, and Medicaid. And are you divorced or broken up? He is still financial responsible no matter what, so while you find the above commenters rude, it's the truth. I know you are breaking down, but sorry, not sorry, you need to pull yourself together, and focus on getting what your child needs. Is your son now in going to an inclusion class? Can you get a part-time job while he's at school or a program? You would not have to pay for those. You should also be able to qualify for a 1 to 1 aide that stays with them on the bus and at school. Do you have family you can move in with? Or come once a week to give you a break? Your Siblings? Parents? Cousins? My buddy has 5 young boys, and 1 is level 2, and the other, Level 3, but programs help, along with family helping on weekends. I am also currently solo parenting two young kiddos for six to eight weeks at a time, with one who is neurodivergent with an adjustment disorder, so I feel you on resentment and getting overwhelmed. But it doesn't matter...your kid needs you. So take a deep breath...and again, and get whatever going your kid needs to thrive.

Growing up with pretty well to do families...I should say old money to be more exact...to be honest, the whole extravagant over the top yacht, traveling...single old friends of the family, for 1st dates, they would do helicopter rides to get a Maine lobster, limos to a concert, rides on their speed boats, VIP tables at night clubs...some I know did this with many women at the same time. And some actually got married to one of them after waking up one day, and realizing this person was the one. Some got pregnant, and still couldn't get them to marry them, while some did. So "traditional" when it comes to old money is not the same as conventional. Some lead with money for many reasons. And mainly, we have to do an intervention when we say don't lead with money, go to coffee and see if you like eachother first, especially after many dumb, flighty, failed relationships. But to sum it all, putting money aside. Who cares. Do you actually like him? Do you like how he treats people who aren't from a wealthy background? Does he give back? Do you like the same music and books? Do you both have a lot in common or a connection? Do you think he's hot without the Range Rover? That's what you should focus on; if he's worth your time. And if he is, tell him you mean business, and want him to be your boyfriend, and you be his girlfriend. It really is that simple. And if you cannot have this conversation with him, he's not the one for you.

100% Call if there is an emergency. Text for an emergency if you've been kidnapped and can't make much noise. Either way, there aren't any expectations anymore. Everyone is different.

RED FLAG!!!!!!!!!!!

I remember saying to myself when I was 31 that if I never never marry or have kids, I will okay. And I had been working on making life great and fulfilling. Then, I got my pup, and it seemed to open my heart to immense love, then bam, reconnected to the man who I have now been married with kids to for 10+ years. No need to settle. You are a dude who still has time. But I'm in NY, and 37 is still prime age to find someone. I just think you need to open up where you are meeting women...have friends recommend people, family...Are you online dating? Do you go to networking events? Symposiums? I feel you may be one that opens up through friendship into romance.

I know this will make me sound like a jerk, but are you sure you're lazy? Sounds like just straight up depression with ADHD mixed in. I'm not a doctor!!! I see this issue pretty often with loved ones with ADHD and are depressed. What does your therapist say? I would start there. Think of when they demo the oxygen mask on the plane. You need to take care of you first, love yourself first, because you can make a relationship also a priority. Self-care stat!

Who cares if your means of stalking her wasn't working. She shut off her phone to conserve battery. You both made a plan, and she followed through. You didn't. Don't blame her for your paranoia. So what if you couldn't pinpoint exactly what HER PHONE was doing. You know 10 years ago, you there was no Whatsapp. People called eachother on a phone, made plans and showed up. You literally just didn't bother showing up.

Learn to be more stealth. I can relate a bit. Get your own phone line. Get a part-time job to cover certain expenses, and deposit in a local bank with your own separate checking account any pay checks that you direct deposit. Make sure it's paperless statements, and any mailing address is for your dorm. Having super strict parents means having to learn how to cover up your tracks better. You deserve to have fun. You can date your boyfriend, and it does not mean you have to marry them. You are old enough to have your own phone and bank account. When you are on break, leave the other phone at your dorm. Flirting isn't cheating. You are a teenager - have fun! Anyone who says flirting is bad doesn't get you are still a teen, not a married lady with kids.

Vomit. You deserve so much more and a bag of chips. If you are still on the trip, don't include him anymore on the itinerary, and just go about your day with your friends.

You're the one who stood her up. She should be mad.

This doesn't make sense. You don't just fail It takes months, semesters, years to fail college. Did you fail a few courses during a semester? Then, take them again. Or ask the teachers where you got an "F" if you can redo or hand in extra assignments to get your grade to curve up to pass. Did you lie about the grades you were getting, so she was shocked by it? It's not just a "recent" thing. It starts with failing in to hand in the work, failing tests. Either way, it's your college education; why does she have to be your muse or support? You would need to pass on your own regardless if you were together or not.

She is so beyond selfish. All she ever thinks about is herself. I am just just hearing about how she thinks. Either you are hiding why she became nutty on a self-sabotaging path, and that's why you put it up with it (no judgment), or she's just an awful person, let along girlfriend.

Just ask if there is anything they would like to see more initiative on, or less of. Opportunities down the pipeline. Or just, are you meeting expectations, and what would they like to see to exceed them. If you can ask, for someone to be your mentor; can be related industry, and does not have to be in the same company.

Imagine another 10 years where you can't go to the "office" (bathroom) to go poop without your phone without behind made to feel like you're a cheating dirtbag? You don't need a break...you need to break up. She sounds like the biggest basic drag. Maybe she's deflecting because she's cheating, or she's a up straight up unempathetic jerk.

I pay $100/day to have our dog sitter watch them, but that's cuz I know she dotes on them the entire time. It's the cost of having puppers. I wouldn't take it personally. They rent out their vacation homes the other times, and the cost of cleaning and insurance goes way up with pets are brought. So either decline, or ask friends and family to come watch, or don't go.

You've been dating for 6 months. Little much to expect to be the love of her life. You haven't even experienced 4 seasons together. Your insecurity, snooping, won't add to it.

Some men need an allowance, as per my mom to keep them happy. Your husband's allowance amounts to $19.23/week. I think you need to take a deep breath, recognize this is about your insecurity about who is cooler and, or more popular, or can smell the roses a bit, and just let it go. My dad likes to gamble 100K away each year, and that is a ridiculous problem. $19/week, crap, I waste that on taking my kids to McKie D's.