tattoobunnie

I always look at a person's ring finger to see if they are married. That's just me being observant though. I don't wear a wedding or engagement band (well, cuz I don't have one that fits). I gained 60 lbs with my 1st kid. And only this past year lost 50 of it 9 years later. But, most people think I'm a single mom when they see me with my kids because I don't wear a ring. Where I am, it definitely is a status symbol. I wouldn't worry much about it though. I want to add, studies show, at work or going on interviews, they say those who wear large diamond engagement rings are looked at as high maintenance. I did read an actual study on it years ago, but this is what I can find to share now: https://www.vogue.com/article/engagement-ring-to-job-interview-linkedin-essay

G is a deadbeat. S is the guy you can't have or forbidden fruit. Instead of breaking up with G, you want to grab a hold of another branch to avoid being alone. Figure out why you want either of them because they both stink.

If he was a good friend, give him the benefit of a doubt, and realize, he may be going through a hard time, and this is not the same thing as not wishing the best for you. With my hubs having health problems from the stress of COVID, my eldest on suicide watch from the isolation, and my one good buddy going through so much anxiety, she can barely function most days, and now getting out of her funk, be kind. Send a text that you really miss him, and hope he's okay. And keep texting like you do care. Sure, maybe he's jealous, but it's not that same thing as he doesn't care about you, and I am sure he is happy for you. The Pandemic was really scary and very hard for the world...and people are still decompressing from what's going on.

Making mean comments isn't an ADHD thing. Your boyfriend is a bad guy. A partner should lift you up, not constantly have you 2nd guess yourself.

What you choose to do now will affect a lifetime of your situation with your children, how much money you give her. She may also choose to never remarry to collect alimony from you forever. She is a leach. You think that by being nice she'll change her mind; she won't, and you need to wake up.

Temporary custody of the house is not the same thing as temporary full custody of the kids. Having her leave because she wants a divorce is plenty civil, and it beats sleeping on the floor. Divorces can take a while, and the OP is showing as a super doormat. Any friend I've had who gave into their ex's needs first, are still paying for being doormats a decade later. They lost their home, businesses, and custody of their kids. We don't know if the wife is a good mom or not. And if she is having an affair, when she's supposed to be taking care of the kids, it is neglect.

So you don't want change, but complaining how nothing changes? And why is she more of a priority than you? Doesn't matter if she has a girlfriend or not...he repeatedly chose her happiness over yours. I would say, "I don't find your friendship with her is good for ours." You should be his priority, not her.

He can ask. It is not the same thing as force. He can also find dirt on her to be granted temporary custody of the house.

DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE!!!!! It will be considered abandonment. Instead, ask her to leave and stay with family. Do what you need to do in court. It doesn't matter if she is was the main caregiver, because you are still 100% the other parent. Fight in court if you have to, your kids are counting on you to fight for them. Record each time she goes on the walks, if the kids are home without her. Look through all her emails and texts, and find a pattern if she is cheating, then you can say in court, she is neglecting the kids by pursuing her affairs. Record any time she is late for the kids to indicate incompetence. And you can also, have her sleep downstairs. Get a lock for the door, and use it. I'm sorry you still love her, but you need to stuff that down, and fight for yourself and the kids, or she will take the house and the kids. FIGHT!!!

Masturbate before you date, or you aren't going to go in 3 minutes. Then drink coffee before the date too. Whether it's fun or not for you, give him oral or petting till he's close, then go in for the main event, so you finish close together.

Welcome to the six figures salary club. You just will have to do whatever you can to learn things on your own. There will always be more accountability. More demands. Higher expectations. But take a deep breath. Keep plugging away, and do the time to get there. And you will.

I have fallen asleep to couch and in the theater movies on dates a plenty...they won't care!

If she is a good friend, tell her it's not cool she is flaking on your plans together. But if it were me and a friend and hubs wanted to see it, we'd all see it together. I don't like how she treats you. Friends working solely on the MRS degree who drop you for a dude are pretty lame and boring. Focus on other friends, but first, be honest with her. If she is just a weather day friend, just disappear.

Awesome...thank you for sharing!!!!!

He's 9.

That is really awesome to hear. My biggest hope is that he will find his "tribe" too. His one friend just moving...it was a big surprise. I was super stoked when he first told me about him, and they were hanging out on playdates and online...then poof, he shares he's not coming back. He is in afterschool classes and sports and community groups...but there's a lot of things he may not pick up on, and he's never invited to outings, like ever. No parties. (Unless it's with that one family with the parents I'm not thrilled about) He has his two loved camp friends not in the same school he sees on rare occasions, and when I set up outings with my friends with kids. I do see pics from the other families, and I have extended invites over the years that are declined and never reciprocated. My youngest on the hand doesn't have special needs and gets invited to playdates and parties.

No more remote school permitted unless you are in quarantine, and I work full-time. I have friends, several great friends...that also live either 1 to 3 to 5 hours away. I'm okay. I am more concerned about my kid's emotional well-being. I had thought he was doing just fine throughout when we were forced to go remote in March through June 2020, only for him to tell his social worker in December that if he ever had to go remote again, he would kill himself. I don't have a fly on the wall view in his mindset, so it's not so much I'm feeling insecure...I am essentially somewhat helpless as a parent - blindsided in the past is best to describe it. All I can do is let his teacher, social worker and therapist know. Our principal is also making sure to check in on him. At the end of the day, I am not the one in control of his emotions. Being neurodiverse, his ability to adjust or level of awareness is different. Life would be easy if I could just say "chin up" and "get over it" or just give him some good TLC with R&R. I don't want him to internalize what is going on, which could cause him to find negative ways in trying to deal with things.

First, raising tiny human beings is hard...full stop there. I don't care if you have or don't have help...at the end of the day, your baby(ies) are your baby(ies), and your job 24/7 even if you are a stay at home parent or working parent. Dad, hubs, left for a traveling work position and will be gone till xmas, and then will be away for six weeks at a time. Yes, anyone can survive. But my eldest who's neurodiverse, has been on suicide watch since December, and in therapy twice a week, also lost his one good friend he's made at school who just upped and moved away without saying goodbye last week. In fact, I don't think the kid even knew, because they were chatting last week after he's been home from school for a week that he isn't coming back because he moved to Florida. I feel so awful for my son. Like awful. This combined with getting a follow-up letter yesterday from CPS because some *** neighbors lied about my youngest got hit a couple of times by cars just to get them there. First of all, if he was hit a couple of times by cars, the police would have been the ones filing a report. I hate my town. I don't know if I have a question...maybe I do...his social worker and therapist have been made aware about dad being gone. And they will be working with my boys about this. Was holding down the fort just fine past 10 days, I am a bit overwhelmed today seeing his therapist's notes my son said was okay to share with me from their session yesterday. Because of his one friend leaving, I let him have a playdate with with a boy who's parents I have beef with. They had a nice time. It does put me in a tough spot when they insist on trying to keep a personal relationship with me. Having a neurodiverse genius kid, they don't make good friends easily, and I'm passed the stage making mom friends to have friends for your kid stage for my eldest. Differences start to show. So while we're involved in groups and the community, we aren't really ever invited out. I can be cool with keeping to myself, and hang with buddies when I can...but I am doing my best with my kids. My youngest is okay...although he's picked up being defiant and naughty...mind of his own, which never helps. I really hope I am doing all I can.

If I were to call someone a beta male, it means, they don't make decisions or take the reigns. Who planned the date, where to go, what to do, where to eat, what to order? If the words, "whatever you want, whatever you like" kept coming out of your mouth, I'd be 100% turned off.

Just because she isn't working, does not make her the maid. I work full-time with two companies I own, have two kids, and volunteer for a non-profit, and when my hubs wasn't working (COVID, SAHD, etc.), I have never ever once thrown "you don't clean enough" in his face. And she's not laying around the house...she's keeping your 3 year old alive and happy. Essentially, if you were to quantify her salary as a personal chef, housekeeper, nanny, she'd be making $120K/year...your statement is hurtful, and degrading. She's asking you to spend more time with her and the kids, and you play victim that the house isn't clean enough? What does a clean house have to do with hanging out with your family? I think you need to take a hard look at yourself and get your priorities straight. She is looking for attention and affection...so either figure it out, or she's out the door with your kiddo. Get a babysitter or take them both out, and go to the park, pick pumpkins, apples, whatever families do where you are, and do it each week. And thank her for her hard work.

This line screams that a beautiful woman can't handle herself and wouldn't know how to keep her pants on. That a woman is a posession. Try this line, and say, "thanks, but I can hold my on," Abusers go very slow, and build up their intensity over time...so what you do in the meantime to find out...GO SLOW...don't sleep together right away...introduce him to friends and family, and ask them what they think about him. See how he treats wait staff and others. Meet him friends and family. If he's pushy to sleep with you, or makes you feel bad for having plans without him, run.

When you are suffering from PTSD from emotional and physical abuse, your brain is so fried...you need to join a therapy group...what he did was wrong, and you could have been the most well behaved or perfect, and he would have still tried to tear you down. What he does isn't love...it's about control. Be strong. Lean on family and friends. Keep your daughter safe. Abusers escalate in increments from emotion to physical. From you to your children. Don't go back. Get help. Get therapy.

If his daughter isn't important to you, then bail on going. But she sees you as family, and that's a big deal...so it's up to you on what you want to do. If you are serious about your partner, go, and be in it for the long haul. If you are just dating, don't go. If the ex is evil, I get it, but you get along. She chose your hubs and had their daughter, so she must be cool some how.

What you saw was the tip of the iceberg. I guarantee you he's been doing this for a very long time. And probably with others when he was with his baby momma. You've been married 3 weeks...imagine after several years. You can get an annulment through the state under you were married under false pretenses. Do not be embarrassed!! He should be embarrassed for being a giant a-hole. It's one thing to chat secretly. It's quite another to work together, and make plans to meet by the toilets. YA-NOPEEEEE!!!!! Drop it like it's HOT.

Get dessert at a ice cream or cake or dessert place. Catch a movie (in a theater). Go for a stroll (outside) with coffee in to go cups. See a band (if you have that in town). If this woman is special, do special things together. I guarantee you, if you try to Netflix and Chill on your 2nd date, you become a dime a dozen. Save the Netflix and Chill for a cold, rainy day 10 dates from now.