Outdoorcrazy

Im sry to hear you are struggling with this, but honestly, you shouldnt feel inferior to him in many ways, that no reason to break things off, your different people. Although he has attained these things it doesnt mean anything less of you as a peson, you two are just different, and not one of u is better than the other, in any way! I am sure that you have things to offer this world that he doesnt!!!!!

So most of you dont know my story, but here is the short of it, about 4 months ago my ex broke off our 18 month relationship. Thats all you really need to know, if u even need that. As i was lying in bed, sick, i began to think about the past 5 months of my life. It began to baffle me about how things work. Im sure there are many people out there that are hurting tonight, and wish so bad that they could get back together with your ex, but here is the kicker, and yes it is cliche, but here it is, break ups happen for a reason, and as hard as this is to come to terms with, your ex broke up with you, because they didnt want you any more, we must more on! Life is to short to spend it pining for someone who doesnt love you anymore, move on, and down the road, you will find someone to return your very special love. Now i am sure there are peolpe who broke up over something as stupid as, he/she wasn't giving you all the attention you want, but for most of us here, myself included, we will never get back together with our exs, ond for those of u who split for some stupid reason, maybe that is a clue to you, about how things in the future will go, and how happy you will be down the road if you do get back together. Now for those of you who just went through a breakup, i can empathize with you because i too was, and still am healing. Breakups are hard, thats just the way it is, and we cant do anything to change that! But here is another cliche line for you, you will get over them with time. Now i am not going to tell you that i am over my ex completely, that would be alot of BS, but i can tell you that when i read a post like this right after my breakup, i didnt believe it either, but 4 months down the road i am so far aloong i cant believe it. Getting over someone you love, is one of, if not the biggest obstacle in life, so we cant try to tackle this all at once, instead, we should do it one day at a time, until we are completely over our exs. BUT TIME WILL HEAL US, AND WE WILL GET OVER OUR EXS, 100%. Now for many of you, i am sure that you have been told this many times, and think how would you know, your not in my position, but i can assure you that its true. Not so long ago i had just broken up with my ex and was devastated, thinking that i would never move on, but over time i have made huge improvements, just like all of you here will. Think about it this way, almost every person in this world has gone through a break up at some time. Think about all your friends, and how many of them are with their first love? I am willing to bet not many, which is why i say everyone goes through this at some time. Whether it be a break up after 3 weeks, or a break up after many years, we will all get through this, just some will take longer to move on that others, but in the end time heals everything, i find that out more every day, just like you will. Now many of you will just blow this off, and think not me, but if this helps one person here who is hurting, just like i was, my time was well spent. eNot Alone is a great resource, so use it as often as you need, and just give it time. Since this is already a very cliche post, i will leave you with this line: ITS BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST THEN TO NEVER HAVE LOVED AT ALL!!!

So i didnt really know where to post this, so here it is, my venting. So my Girlfriend broke up with me 5 months ago, telling me that her feelings had changed and that she didnt think it would work with both of us at different colleges. I took this very hard, and although i loved her very much, and didnt want this to happen, i accepted this, and tried to do my best at moving on with life. I didnt talk to her much, and tried to go NC the best i could, although sometimes i did slip and talked to her. Well the last month or so i have been dating again, and have found someone new, that i have feelings for. Well just the other day i changed my status on facebook to, "In a relationship", and besides the usual friends calling to find out what was going on, and things of that nature, my ex also called. She told me that all her friends were calling her telling her that i was now in a relationship. She was so nosey about this new girl and wanted to know so much about my life and so on. I was nice to her, but didnt tell her much, in my eyes it isnt her business at this point. The whole time i was talking to her, i could tell that she was pissed off about the whole deal, and that really made me angry. As i told her that i had to go, she seemed very bitter, and told me that she would talk to me later. Then today she wanted to talk to me on AIM, i didnt talk to her, but she still left me a message. This whole thing made me so angry! Why the hell does she call me to try and get the whole bio on this new girl that i am with? Why does she care? I am no longer her b/f, so why does she care? She was always verey protective of me, but she was the one who didnt want me anymore, this was her choice. It made me so mad that when we broke up she told me that she wanted me to be happy, and then she gives me a call like that, and never said anything positive to me for this. AHHHH, it just made me so angry! Well thank you for listening to me, i just need to get that out there cuz i thought it was totaly uncalled for. As a friend of mine said, she made the bed, now she can sleep in it!

DONT DO IT DUDE! I know thats not wanted to hear, like i did many times, i have to imagine that you posted this, hoping that against your better judgement, someone might tell you that its ok to send the email. I was there not to long ago, but i will tell you this, by contacting her in any way, you are telling her that you are thinking about her, and she will see that as a sign from you that she can have you if she wants you! Stay stong and dont send it! I am not quite sure what it was that you accomplished (Mybe i missed it), but frankly, it is irrelevent! Although she may have assisted you in your sucess, ultimatly, it was you who made it happen, and thereforeeee you should be congratulating yourself! She made the decision that she didnt want to have you in that part of her life, and as you stated in your post, when u told her of ur decision to go NC she was hesitant, meaning she wants you to be there when ever she needs someone, but not all the time! She doesnt deserve to have you only when she wants you, and honestly, you dont deserve that either! Life is short, you dont have time to wait around for ppl who dont want you 100%, so dont give her that power over you! Stay stong and dont do it, trust me man, and learn from my mistakes, dont tell her that your going to go NC, and then send her an email! Stay strong, and GOOD LUCK!!! BTW, CONGRATULATIONS on your sucess!!!!

This is funny that you asked this. In my senior year of High School my class was given 10 minutes to make a list of everything we wanted to do before we died. After only 3 minutes i was the only one left writing, and by the end of the 10 minutes i had 154 things on my list, and i could have added more. So to answer this; there are to many to list! Here are my top ten though! 1) Find TRUE love, that will last forever 2) Climb to the highest point on all 7 continents (The 7 summits) 3) River raft the Grand Canyon 4) Ski in the ALPS 5) Climb all 8000 m peaks 6) Study in Switzerland 7) Rock Climb El Capitan 8) Rock Climb Half Dome 9) Backpack from Mexico to Canada 10) Apprentice with Bryan Newbert (A great horseman)

Wow, thats quite a statement to make. I would have to disagree though. I do believe that many guys do like insecure/dependent women, but there are always guys who dont like that. I personaly hate that. I like strong people, and that is especialy true when it comes to ppl i date. Its makes things so much more interesting when i am with someone who isnt seeking for my aproval, but instaed is there to see if we work together naturaly!

To all of you who have responded, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Its so nice to long on and see that people have responded, and will give there time to help me, someone they dont even know. YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING! My ex and i did split on good terms, very good in fact, we both went to different colleges and she just didnt have the same feelings anymore, combinded with the distance, it was just to much to overcome! I was lucky, there was no lying, no cheating, and no harsh words, just an end to a 1.5 year relationship with an amazing girl. We always got along great, and had so much fun together, but we just wernt able to make it work. I dont hold anything against her, but i still have so many feeling for her, and i just dont know how to let go of her. In all honesty is probably good that we ended it when we did, bc we have such different directions in life, her wanting to live in LA and try and make it in the acting world, and myself hoping to get picked up in Glacier or Yellowstone National Park as a wildlife biologist, i just dont know that it would have ever worked out. Despite this, i still miss her, and find myself wishing that some how we would end up back together. I just want to be able to move on, and let go. Thanks again to those of you who have posted, it has helped me alot, and its nice to know that people do care. Thanks

My gf and i broke up about three months ago, and i feel like i am doing fairly well. I know i have made alot of progress in movign on with my life. I am out having fun and keeping on going, but i still havnt been able to completely let go. I still find myself wishing i could have her back, and i just dont know how to let go any move on. How do you let go of someone that you love so much? How to you give up that idea/hope of getting back together? How do you come to terms, and tell yourself that its really over? To those of you who have gone through this, or to anyone who wants to comment, any advice is appreciated! Thanks

Hey guys thanks so much for the advice. I am so young and stupid, so i definatly appreciate the advice that i can get from others that can show me some things i have never thought about! Thanks agiain, and i wish you all a good new year!

Hey guys, thanks for the replys!!! I really appreciate the time you have spent reading and replying to my post. As to what Friscodj posted; I really like this man, it help alot. I have talked with the new girl about this. She was one of my first friends that i made when i went to school, so naturally she was there when the whole break up happened. I have talked to her about things, and i have told her that i still do have feelings for my ex, and as a result i wanted to/have been taking things slowly. I feel that the best answer is the honest one, so i have been very open about things with her, and have told her that i dont want to rush into anything because i didnt want a rebound; im just not that kind of person. I know that i do have feelings for this new girl, but i do know that they are not as strong as what i still feel for my ex. I know this new girl REALLY likes me, so i have been upfront with her about the whole deal. I guess what i was really asking here, was even if my ex is totaly legit, and truly does want to give things another go, does it even make sense. I know that i do still love her, but at this point do u think bc of the directions that we are headed in life, and the distance we are at right now, that it would be a better idea to just keep moving away from her and try to find someone else? I am so torn on this one, and its really beating me up! I know that i still love her, but does it make sense to try and make things work when life is pulling us around so much? Thanks again!!!

My gf of one and half years broke up with me almost three months ago. After doing all the usual things that ppl do when they get dumed (Begging, pleading, offering to cahnge) I realized that i was an idiot for doing this and went into NC; why should i try to be anyone but me! It went on for about 2 weeks until the ex started to contact me again. We had a few phone conversations, and talked on AIM a few times, and about a month ago things started coming out. I had asked her if she regreted breaking up with me, and she told me that was complicated bc of the distance (We go to college 3 hrs apart), but that she really missed me! I have been working very hard to move on with my life, started dating again, and have met someone new, despite my feeling for my ex. Well a few weeks ago i was hanging with a few of our mutual friends, including my ex's best friend, and after a few drinks, her best friend started telling me about how my ex was still very jealous about me, and how she still had all her pictures up of me, and seemed to still have some feelings for me. To add to things, my ex contacted me about a week ago, and asked me if she could see me when she got back from her cruz, which will be in a week. After hearing things from her friends, it sounds like she may have intentions of getting back together. I really dont know what to do here. Logicaly speaking, it makes no sense to see her, and try to make things work. We live 3 hrs apart, and are heading in different directions in life. I have met someone new, we get along great, and i have made great progress in moving on with my life! However, speaking from the heart, after 3 months of very little contact, meeting new ppl, and finding someone new, i still love my ex so much, wish i could have her back, and would at this point rather have her 3 hrs away than anyone else in the world! What i am asking for is opinions of what to do. Do i see her, and see what happens, and try to get back someone i love? Or do i do what seems logical and just go on with my life the same way i had before because we are going in different directions, and hope that i can lose these feelings for her? THANKS

Wow how things change! I am not an avid poster here, but i am an avid reader of this page. I am writing this post because i think that if i had read something like this, it would have helped me greatly. Let me first give you some background of things, so you understand where i am coming from in my post here. I am an 18 year old college student who has gotten do to more things thus far in my life than most will probably get to do in there entire life time. I am an avid outdoorsman and i do believe i love life more than any other person alive. I like to rock climb, backpack, hike, tele ski, ride horses, ice climb, mountaineer, kyack, river raft and so much more. I have had many friends tell me that i am larger than life its self, and i try to live every day like that. Well about 2 weeks after i left for college, my girlfriend of two years broke up with me. I was crushed, and was not myself at all. Me, a person who had so much going for him felt like life was coming to an end (Like i am sure so many of you going through a breakup feel). After searching the internet for ways to get my ex back, i found this site and it was a blessing to me. I checked it daily and i would try to get all these ideas on how to get my ex back. I noticed a common theme of NC in a lot of these posts, so thats what i did. At first i did this to get my ex back, but in hind site i see that it was not for getting her back it was for getting myself back. I am a very confident young man, and i have never let anyone walk on top of me. Well when i was taken away from my girlfriend, i lost myself and that confidence that i had. After talking to a good friend of mine, he told me that everything happens for a reason, and although i may not see it now i will see it later. When he told me this i thought he was so full of it, but looking back he was so right. Over time being with my girlfriend i had lost myself, and she had lost the person she had feel in love with. I had let her walk on top of me. If she said jump, i would jump then look for her aproval! But the truth was, i should have never been looking for anyones aproval but my own, i should have been doing things for me, and because i wanted to, not because she told me to do them I had given up so many of the thing that i loved, and instead of being that strong confident person i had been all my life, i had become somone else. I had tried so hard to be the perfect person, that she would love, i was no longer "ME"! Now at this point you are probably asking, "What the hell is the point of this?" and i will tell you right now; THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON! For me it was so that i saw how much of myself i had given up; i had no longer had much self respect for myself and i become someone who i was not. Well as i started to move on from this breakup the true me bagan to come back. I went back to doing the things i love and got that respect for myself back. As hard as it was to lose someone i loved, that was what it took for me to see what had become of myself. The ironic part of this is that when i finally realized why my breakup had happened, and gotten back to the true me, guess what happened? I started to attract other girls, and i started to have a lot of fun doing the things i love. Then a few weekends ago, a weekend i know i would have been gone trying to visit my ex had we still be together, the most amazing thing happened to me; i met a man who offered me a place in a climbing expedtion to Patagonia; My life long dream. After all the things that had happened to me, i finally saw what my friend had ment when he told me that things happen for a reason. Had i still been with my ex i would have never realized that i had lost so much respect for myself, i would have never realized what i had given up, i wouldnt have seen how much the things that i love to do make me who i am, and i would have never gotten the chance to go to Patagonia and live out my life long dream. The ironc part of this whole thing is that now that this has all happened, guess who is back? You guessed it, my ex! She now talks to me on the net, she has texted me a few times, she calls me, has told me she misses me, and my humor (Something i had lost about the time she broke up with me), and that she would like to see me when we go back home for Christmas break. Now i am not saying that your break up will lead to you getting to live out your life long dream like mine has, but i am saying that if you look at this from an objective standpoint, you will be able to see why you and your ex broke up! Take this as a learning experience, take some good out of a bad situation, and realize that things do happen for a reason, and even though you may not see it now, just know you will eventualy see it sometime down the road!! Have a Marry Christmas, and i hope that this post has given you some hope!

Yeah i think that is pretty true, but i wonder sometimes if ppl are really in love or if they just think they love the other person because they like to have someone, so they think they are in love!

Amazing!!!

I was just wondering if anyone had some thoughts on how to tell if your really in love with someone, or if your just in love with the idea of being in love and having someone to love!!! Any thoughts or opinions, comments?