ontheverge

shygirl, It does sound promising. Good for you for playing right back! Keep it up! ontheverge

so basically what you want to know is, should you call her and see what's going on?

That is understandable. It is good you knwo what you want Was the break up a long and hard one to detach yourself from? sounds fishy Cautious is not always bad esp. if you dont want her to think she can snatch you up again. No, you dont have to approach her. You can acknowledge her with a wave or a smile, but that is all that you have to do really, that is just being nice. It was nice of you to call. If I were in her shoes and it was one of my ex's I would be like "oh ok" but I doubt I would give a call back Quite right, you dont want her thinking that, and yes it is hard to balance, but it gets easier. Esp when you have time apart from one another and you arent running into her every week. I totally feel you on this and have been in a simiallar situation. The thing is you need to decide, do you want her back? Have you been better off without her? I know the first few weeks are always rough, and seeing her now makes it rough all over again, but you need to really ask yourself and maybe some close family you trust, have you been better with her gone? It could be that she is just now realizing you mean business about the breakup and she is scared and wants you back. I have been through that too. I cant say what her motives are, but you have gone 2 mos without her, so I would really evaluate where you are and what you want before you decide what she might be thinking. Take care!! OTV

I think for me at least, it took me a long time to see what was really going on, and I didnt have anyone telling me, hey cant you see what is happening? After we broke it off and I told people we were no longer together, they were all like, well, your ex was bad for you anyway. Too bad they couldnt have pointed out that little factoid while I was in it. oh well. life goes on!

I think i did it because i thought that is what you did when you loved someone. I was so wrong. But the ex is gone now, and good riddance to bad rubbish! lol

It's been a week since we spoke I've had a lot of time to think A lot of time to consider What went wrong with us For a long time we seemed strong The envy of all our friends I tried my best for you I would have bent over the world backwards to give you the moon Then I had a thought... Maybe its not me... Maybe its you Maybe, baby, you were just wrong Maybe I was right all along Maybe it wasn't me with all the issues Maybe it's you I sacrificed and gave to make it work At work all day and then home to cook You had your sports and your bar You left me at home wondering how to make the payments on the car I wanted to go back to school to make life better for us. I wanted us to have a place to call our own A place we could call home Your ambition led you in the direction of being with your "friends" While I was burning the candle at both ends When you got tired of trying and it was over, you waited a month to tell me, how kind. You told me it had been over for you for a very long time. I was crushed, I was hurt I thought you were the one I couldnt see spending my life with any one but you Without you my world was gone A week went by and you called You wanted to know how I was, honey, Then I found out why you phoned, You didnt need me, just my money. Then I had a thought... Maybe its not me... Maybe its you Maybe, baby, you were just wrong Maybe I was right all along Maybe it wasnt me with all the issues Maybe its you Take care now, so long and if you thing I would ever take you back Darlin' you would be totally wrong.

kita I can so relate. I lost my dad in 02 and today is a rough day. Just know that there will be days that are easier than others and that as the time slowly passes you will slowly heal. I wish you all the best, and if you ever need a shoulder just IM me

Thank you Ailec. I used to write a lot, but I have since gotten out of the habit. It felt good to get this out.

I was with my ex for 3 years and she did the same thing. She moved out in Sept, by Oct she was living with someone else, had a tattoo and money to go camping and boating and play sports. They have now bought a house. When we were togther I helped her with her credit crap, and I was lucky to get a gas station flower. We never had money to go out, and now she is at the bar all the time. Funny she has the same job and the other girl works at a gas station. Yes, if you are wondering it is the same gas station that the flowers were bought for me.

hey all this is my first poem on ena. I just came up with it while I was at work it sums up a bit of how I feel right now Hope you like it I am standing on the edge. I don't know where to jump. Look before I leap, that always been my philosophy Pushing hard working to the core Looking around seeing others taking it easy Wonderin when I will see the good life and be able to walk through that door One more day, one more bill to pay I feel like I've been working my whole life Just for a future day Who knows when that is gonna come I feel like I am never gonna get it done. Everyone talks about quality and long term What I am gonna have in the end Don't they see that the end is when I wont need it anymore I need something now Something wonderful to come along, my big boat of dreams to come ashore. I am standing on the edge. I don't know where to jump. Look before I leap, that always been my philosophy Pushing hard working to the core Looking around seeing others taking it easy Wonderin when I will see the good life and be able to walk through that door

teddybear ~ that is exactly it. Just for them to be like, hey lets hang out its your birthday! That was all I wanted. Sit down and chill with a movie we have all seen a million times or something to that effect. I didnt want a big to do with cake and singing at a restaraunt, or anything like that. Like I said, it almost feels a bit petty, but I try to be a good friend. As far as the bigger picture with these two, I dont know yet. I can feel myself almost emotionally distancing myself, just in case. That isnt good I know, but right now in this second, I just have this big desire to cocoon myself. I have lots of homework and research and stuff to do this weekend and after that school will have a lot of my time. That is probably good. I will be able to think about things and where I want to go from here. You know when I was younger, it would not have bothered me so much I would have been like whatever, lets roll. As I have gotten older though it seems to be a more difficult process.

I totally understand where you are coming from. In fact I just posted a thread in regard to what a few "friends" did to me on my birthday. I am finding that in my case it is family as well that does this too. I have an aunt, who I was particularly close with and on my birthday she gave me a lovely scented candle, and then said, oh it was just something she had laying around. Nice. People wonder why we put up walls. I wish I had an answer for all of this. I find it hard to make friends and when I do, it always just seems to turn to crap. I think its time to become a hermit, after I invest in Kleenex ~lol. Take care

For a long time now I seem to wind up in friendships where I do more giving than taking. I am a person who has a lot of walls. High ones, big ones, concrete ones. I am open with people to an extent, but I find it hard to be vulnerable to people. When I do let someone in I find that they disappoint. Take this instance for example. I have 2 friends, M and J. We all hung out together and had good times and a lot of fun. Since a few weeks before the new school term started, I have barely seen them. I figure no big deal as they are busy right? Mind you these were people who we chit chatted on an almost daily basis. We were all pretty tight or so I thought. We started hanging out in Feb, and hung out pretty consistenly all summer. These were my homies. Then a week or so before my birthday 3 weeks ago I dont hear from them. Not a word. (Insert chirping crickets). By the time my birthday strolls around, I get a Happy Birthday from one of them (M) and nothing at all from the other. Now I dont care about presents and all that, but a hey lets do lunch would have been nice. For M's b-day I got her 25.00 DVD and for J I bought him some silly cufflinks (not expensive, just funny). I didnt spend a whole lot and I didnt do it to get a gift in return, they were just little things I thought they would like. All I am saying is a card would have been nice. To add insult to injury, M (after my b-day) and I went out to lunch, and we walked past a shop, and she said that when she passes those shops she thinks about how much she spend on her (other) friends birthdays and Christmas and she gets upset because she got a bad gifts in return, e.g., a garden plaque from the Dollar Store with the tag still on it. I felt like saying yeah try not getting one at all! To top it off we went to Wal-Mart last night and she was telling me all this stuff that she was doing for another friend of her's for her birthday, and I just wanted to be like, why are you telling me this? I am going to try and let this roll. Maybe I should say something, but it feels petty and whiny to do that. I just needed to vent this out. I just feel used. It feels like most people now are pretty inconsiderate of others, and I am sick of it. I try to be nice, e.g., offer gas money, get cards for people celebrating milestones, sending thank you notes. I am not saying for every gift I send out I want a hand written note on linen paper, no certainly not. I guess I just wish I could find a friend or two who doesnt use me, screw me over or who forgets my birthday. Seriously, these 2 people make 4 friends who were seriously close to me who have "forgotten it". Ok I am going to end this pitypalooza here. Thanks for listening. OTV

you are probably right, its just hard...... like i said i have never met anyone who makes me feel all jumpy and nervous and shaky and like I am going to vomit, and yet still be so attracted. It is so weird, lol Thanks for talking me through this

OMG that would be a dream come true!! I just would hope I wouldnt make an idiot out of myself on the date. e.g. fumbling silverware and getting tongue tied or staring into her eyes. ( i know i have it bad) I cant see her doing it though, b/c we really arent the types that would have a fling and it would be way to hard to make this long term. My being so closeted wouldnt be fair to her. I learned that from my last relationship. If anything, I would love to just hang out with her, but I am a bit afraid to see what would happen. Plus eventually she will be leaving for 18 mos for school and LDRs arent fun, I did that once and I dont know that I would want to do that again.

broken ~ yes i would have one cousin, but it wouldnt matter as the rest of the family would ostracize me. It would kill my mother, and as she already has heart problems, it might not be a good idea, lol. I am sorry to hear about your dad, mine passed in March. jane ~ no she would not do that, she would only pray that I would stop it and just find a boyfriend already. I dont want to hurt my family, but I know that this woman wont be around for forever either, and I have NEVER in my LIFE felt attraction as strong as this.

I dont think ignoring her is the best, but you might tell her that, you are not interested in a relationship, and as far as legal advice for her car goes, unless you are a lawyer, you cant give that out. Plain and simple. If you are a lawyer, then tell her that you can not advise her unless she is a client, and at this point you could not accept her as such, as it would be a conflict of interest. hows that?

In terms of my family my dad died 4 years ago and so its just mom and me and an estranged brother, a few aunts and some cousins. All told at family reunions there are 20 of us and that is if the cousins from Utah come in. On dad's side there is only like 2 of them. So, I have a very small family and I cant afford to lose any more of them.

Hello all, This is my first time posting, I had checked out this site before, and it seems really cool. So here is the deal. 04/2002 I began dating my best friend and we had a pretty good relationship. Then about 6/2005 things began to fall apart. Needless to say she is dating someone new, which is fine, I wish her the best. There was a woman that I met while dating her that I found extremely attractive, and I was highly attracted to her. Now I am single and I have discovered she is too. I saw her this past weekend, and I was so nervous my hands were shaking. (This never happens). Anyhow, here is the fly in the pudding. My first lesbian relationship darn near tore my entire family apart and nearly destroyed the relationship that I have with my mom. She is very anti homosexual. She was thrilled I was no longer dating my ex. So that is a serious concern for me, plus I am not as ""out" as this girl, and I may never be and that was a serious problem in my last relationship. I am so confused. I ran into this woman this weekend for the first time in over a year and my hands shook so bad I had to hold onto my juice bottle for fear she would notice. This woman has always made me feel this way, ever since the first day I met her, 3 years ago. I was just like WOW who is that. It was bad esp considering I was dancing with my gf. I just dont know what to do, forgo attraction and someone great for safety and family relationships? I dont know if I can sacrifice it again. Any thoughts you have would be great. OTV