istillluvu06

That is beautiful, I felt it very much. Thanks for sharing it!

3 weeks 1 day.........nightmares alot. but dont want contact anymore. Smaab, Believe me and the rest of us it hurts like hell. You may feel alone but ur not and it is ok to cry. I still cry and have cried so much in the past. It's part of healing. ~~**hugs**~~

Screwed up NC again........he texted first, ended up texting and on phone all day. Ended with both of us crying? Said goodbye his phone was dying. I am emotionaly exhausted. Have no clue what or why this is happening. It hurts too much

screwed up NC .....just wanna die.

I'm so sorry there arent words to lessen any pain now, but a hug would help? I feel your pain.

CreoUCLA....Does this hold true for anger and blame with a partner? Or a long drawn out off and on break up, does time start to heal these things too?

Day 1......Told me to get out of his life, I will

Actually thats pretty damn good!!!

nice poem, that's how it should be!!

Youre welcome, and I hope you will be blessed.

Beautiful poem.....as Zorden said cherish it. Don't lose the love. Mine is also gone.

wow thanks, that is so helpful and so close to the things ive been going through. i think im going to print it out too!!

i was in your shoes this whole last summer and part of the fall. I really understand how you feel. it hurts like hell and affects everything in your life. theres no quick fix or cure for the gut wrenching feeling of heartbreak, i used to say i would rather have 2 broken legs then go through the pain one more day!!! You are not alone, even though you feel like it. Never forget that. Keep posting on here and reading other peoples experiences. It does help a little. Its gonna be ok.......you'll see

wow , you've been through the ringer. Give you lots of credit for trying so hard. I can acknowledge your feelings from another perspective of how I made my ex feel. I never played games or was unsure or cheated etc, But I put him through hell cause I didn't treat him how he deserved to be. Im know he is my soulmate and somehow, someday, someway we will find a way back, but for now I need to correct alot of ME. I can't ever say sorry if I don't try to make it better. Even if I never see him again, at least I know I honestly in my heart truly loved him and genuinley wanted to do the right things. Once trust is gone it needs to be rebuilt and earned, it just doesn't happen cause we'd like it too. I have learned alot the hard way. I pray to God to help me be strong and do the things I need to do. And I'm glad for everyone on this site cause there's so much understanding for eachother, thx all

you are 100% right, it isn't fair. Nobody deserves to be treated badly for any reason. I understand both sides cause I'm going through it now. I'm not angry at him for walking away, I'm angry at me for being how I was and losing someone I adored. It is too painful to explain how it feels to hurt someone you love so much and not really mean to. How can you ever take back all the mean things you've said or done or ever be trusted again? prob never and that to me the worst kind of pain.

wonder where all the decent men are that would stand by and love you through good times and bad?? I thought I found him, I was wrong!!

be strong, be happy, do it for yourself not anyone else!!!!

Was wondering if anyone here is struggling any mental ailments like being bi-polar or otherwise that led to the demise of your relationship?

](*,) I definatley know about the insecurity you can feel after you get back together. Me and my boyfriend were broken up throughout the whole summer and fall. We got back together in nov. I still love him as much as I always did. But we are having problems again, he isn't like he used to be. He is very angry still about the pain I caused him. I had a serious jealousy problem, and a few other things too. I have been trying very hard to improve, but it feels like the past will never go away. He says I keep doing things like before and that I haven't changed at all. I've been insecure and I miss him terribly when were apart. He says I smother and control him to the point that he feels bad to go anywhere without me, I consciously do not try to make him feel that way, cause I really do trust him now more than ever. I guess it's the little comments I make if he does something without me. I feel very confused about alot of things. Getting back together was the happiest thing that has happened to me in a very long time. But since it was my fault we broke up I always feel under him and that I have to do everything his way. And I have tried. Unfortunatley the past keeps getting brought up. I worked really really hard to try to improve alot of bad hurtful habits I had. But there isn't anyway to know that you can always apply what I have learned. I still from time to time say stuff I shouldnt. I have so much stacked against me, I feel like it's an uphill battle everyday. I'm bi-polar, and it's very hard when you are fighting with your head and heart everyday. I love him so much, I never stopped loving him, even through the breakup which was the worst hell I've ever been in. I don't want to lose him again over the same crap. I have been insecure and it's making him feel controlled. And I don't want that. I want him to love me cause he wants to ,or be with me cause he wants to.And you have to be careful cause you can do alot of things without even recognizing them. ](*,) It's like hitting your head on a brick wall til you get it!!

NC is No Contact....via email, messaging, phone calls, texting, visiting......nothing at all. Disappear!!! Let's you heal, instaed of constantly trying to find hope and also lets them know you arent desperate, (even though you feel you are) I know all about you nausea and tight chest etc. Heartsick explains all this, it affects you physically and emotionally...it's horrible, but you are not alone. Look at some posts from MAJORD23 he explains NO CONTACT perfectly.......please take care and remember there are alot of people going through this along with you, I'm on my 3rd month now

It's soooo hard to separate your heart from your head, they always seem to be doing different things!! NC is the hardest thing to do, hmmm trust me I have failed miserably and made an idiot of myself for about 3 months now? Just like CLOSURE said above, it's pretty much his loss if he can't see someone who truly cares about him. Worry about YOU, Take care of yourself, yes it's time to be selfish here!!!!

My situation really sucks cause I still have some ties to him, and for the longest time I think he kept it that way, Even worse is that he says he'll always love me, we were both eachothers FIRST TRUE LOVE, and were both late 30's....go figure. Hmmm I'm still holding on to the fact that we are soulmates, nobody in my life has ever made me feel this way and I guess the worst part is knowing we share the same world and are'nt together.....I pray everyday that he will come back to me. Life is just not fair and I feel soooo bad for all of you, sometimes I wish I had a broken leg as compared to a broken heart.......hmmm at least there are pain killers for that!!!! lol

Would'nt it be nice if we all lived in the same area and then we could form a support group to go to?? Have any of you found a group like that? When I went through my divorce 10 years ago they had a group for that, but how about a broken heart group?? Well at least we have eachother

Hi Blane and Chibby.....looks like we're all in the same sinking boat! Don't worry I think there's a life preserver somewhere around here....lol

As I sit here and post to you, I am crying and my stomach hurts and I pretty much feel like crap. I wish there was a magic fall out of love pill or something, but there isn't. I too wanna call him, but I know I just can't, it will only hurt more. If only we could fast forward our lives ahead about a year or so, would'nt that be great?? The heart is a very powerful thing, and I know how hard it is to fight what it tells you too, but you HAVE to think of your own sanity right now, ONLY you can do it.