sanns677
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Everything posted by sanns677
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Thanks, I feel much better now that he and I talked. thanks yall!!!!\\
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You could talk to your doctor, maybe it is ADD. Most people think of being hyper but that is ADHD. I have ADD and I had all those same symptoms. I was on adult ADD medication for it for a while and it really helped.
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That is hard. To me it seems like you are doing the right thing, giving him some time and space. I don't think you can "make' him get over you. Maybe you could set him up on a date after you two can get on better terms. I think you should be gradual about talking to him though. Also make sure talking to him would not make it awkward for your boyfriend. If it does maybe you need to work on getting him comfortable first. I hope you can fix things between you, but sometimes people just want different things so you should respect it if he does not want to hang out anymore. It may just be too hard. Good luck!!
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Sounds like you will have to talk to her weather you want to or not. The only other option I see is to just put up with it.
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Well I talked to him. It was a very adult conversation, no fighting, thank god!I left out that I had acctually seen the porn. I wanted to spare both of us the embarrassment. Instead I told him that he did not seem very interested in me all of the sudden and I was assuming that he either lost his sex drive or was using other means. However, I did mention the night when I was on the bed and all that. Here is what he said happened: He said that I had been reading a book (which is true but I had also been really flirty with him) and I guess he was getting mixed signals so he went in the bathroom and did it himself, but I was the one who got him going. He just was not sure if I wanted to read or have sex so... I wish he would have said something to imply what HE wanted because I did want the same thing. But I guess I could have done that too. Anyway...Mixed signals on that one. As for the rest he says that he has just been exhasted from work, they have upped his work load a little recently. He said that he has been "doing it himself" occasionally but it is because he is too exhasted for the real thing. That all sounds pretty reasonable to me and we were having sex probably 5 times a week which is a lot, so I don't think that cutting back will hurt us lol. I understand that he has a high sex drive so I told him that it does not bother me if he does it now and then especially if he is too tired. I don't expect him to be all over me all the time, I just thought it was strange that he was for a year and a half then within a short period he had seemed to lose interest. I explained that to him and we agreed to go easy for a while until work slows down. I am glad we talked and everything is worked out. Thanks for all of yall's advice.
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I am not sure I understand what you are asking. If you are asking about how to change from a friend to girlfriend, I guess it depends on the girl. Sometimes it is as sipmple as asking her on a date, or maybe just telling her that your feelings for her have changed. Friendship is not always the best option, it was just a suggestion. Maybe for you it would be best to just ask her on a date right off the bat. I hope that helps
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He went and got tested and everything is ok. His past really doesn't mean much to me exept on the one occasion.
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That is probably more accurate. It was just the fact that I was worried about STDs and he told me I had nothing to worry about because he had only been with the one virgin girl, when in fact I did have cause to worry. I was mad because he knowingly put my health at risk so that he would not have to reveal something embarrassing. That was a while back though and we worked through it....I am mostly over it but it was hurtful when it happened. F.Y.I....I really hate telling this stuff without mentioning how wonderful is is besides these things. everyone messes up now and then, I know I sure do.....so yeah he is amazingly kind and loving to me besides the few things I mentioned.
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He came home sick so I didn't have the heart to tell him last night, he did ask what was wrong though. I told him it was just something we need to talk about and if he wanted I would wait until he was feeling better. I think he thought I was pregnant or something at first lol but I told him it was just something I have had on my mind. I am going out of town tomorrow for the weekend so I do not want to do it over the phone, hopefully we can talk tonight. I will talk to him though, I have to, it will drive me nuts otherwise. Like I said hopefully tonight, I have not seen him today, so I hope he is better. Thanks for your help and concern!!
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I know he loves me and I know it is normal. I do not have a problem with him looking at it, I have a problem with him chosing it over me mostly. We have sex quite often and he seems satisfied. If he is then thats fine but if not then I need to know that and we need to talk. That is all I am saying. As far as me snooping, I did not go through his entire computer I went to one file that I really already saw. I did not look at anything else, the rest of what I know is because he left it in plain site, I had no intention of looking through his belongings with those. That mystery bag I mentiond has never been opened by me, I want to but will not unless he tells me I can. The duffle bag full of magazines was lying on the closet floor open, I only saw the top magazines, I did not dig through the whole thing...I am only assuming the rest of the magazines in there were porn also, He keeps the other magazines he has on a shelf in his bedroom so I do not know why else they would be hidden in a bag. To add to that I only opened the closet because I wanted a shirt to sleep in, I was there alone, but I called and asked first. He must have forgotten about the bag when he told me "go ahead, they are in the closet".
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I think she wants the same thing, to be civil. Maybe she just needed some time to get over you. Now she is ok and she just wanted to know if you were at the same place. It has to be awkward, not talking at work and all. I think the occcasional "Hey what have you been up to?" is a good thing.
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Like you said, she is insecure. As someone who used to be very insecure, I needed a boost from someone to get any confidence. Maybe she just needs a few comliments now and then, Say that she does a relly good job at keeping a nice home, raising her children etc. Maybe she is insecure about her looks, if that is the case tell her how good she looks, her clothes are great, her hair is gorgeous, something... (luckily girls can do that with eachother lol). For me I just needed a little of that before I coluld look in the mirror and say "you know what, they are right" and I became much less negative. It took a while but I did it. Maybe she just needs a little ego boost!
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definitely, thats why I think we need to talk. Maybe it is not as bad as I think or maybe he just needs some help working through something, which I am more than willing to do.
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Yea thats my main concern too. I do not mind occasional porn I think that is somewhat normal, but when he picks it over me, we have a problem.
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I think that experience is the bast way to lean who you want, trial and error. You will become better at chosing as you find what good qualities you like and which to stay away from. I know thats probably not what you wanted to hear but it is the best way, maybe you will get luck and pick a winner right off. You might try just befriending them with no intentions of dating until you know them better, maybe you will think you are a match on another level or maybe you just have a new friend. No harm there right?
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I know I should but I do not know how to open it up. Tonight he will ask what was wrong with me today and I can't just say "I know you look at porn". You know?
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He is the most important person in my life and by no means the monster this post makes him sound. however, like any relationship has, this is a bump we need to get past and I am just trying to figure uot the best way.
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I am worried because my bf of almost 2 years seems to be looking at a lot of porn recently. I found a big duffle bag full of probably close to 100 magazines, and I turned on the computer monitor the other day and porn was pulled up on the screen. There is a bag in his closet that anytime I go near he asks what I need and says he will get it. I am sure it has porn in it. Today I went with him to pay his cable and it was $20 more than normal so I asked him if they raised his rates and he said he got some PPV movies, when I asked about what he watched he just said "movies", I was not even suspicious then so it was not like he was being defensive. I am sure it was from the spice channel now though. Then the worst of all is when he was showing me some pics on his computer the other day I thought I saw a thumbnail of a topless girl, I should have called him on it but instead I went to look later and it was not only a picture but a scanned picture of a "real" girl, not a porn model. I looked and the last modification date was before we were together but it still bothers me. Then the other night he was in the bathroom for a while and when he came out I noticed he was erect so I started to try to be intimate and he turned me down and said "lets play tomorrow"!! I think he had been masturbating and that was why he was erect, not because he wanted me. I mean I was lying on his bed in only a t-shirt and he still went to do that in the bathroom!!! Why? am I not good enough? I don't understand. This and the PPV thing are the only incidents that I know he looked at it. He may have just kept the mags from a while back, He does keep every other magazine he gets I don't know why porn would be different, he has boxes of guitar ones. So I do not know that he looks at it exesivley I just know that he has an excessive amount. If that is the case, I don't care if it is an occasional thing, but if it is more like a daily thing than I am worried! So I have some questions: Guys: Do you have or look at porn when you have a gf, particularly a long term one? If so how much? And: He noticed something was wrong and wants to talk about it after he gets off work, because I would not tell him earlier. Although he seemed really worried about me, I just was not ready to talk and I told him that. Should I confront him? I did snoop in his computer, so I was wrong for that, should I come clean or leave that out? How do I go about talking about it without hurtimg him or sounding angry? I am worried not mad. This is a hard thing to talk about, and I just am not quite sure how to go about it delicately. Thanks
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Thanks yall. I think I am gonna do it!
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I thought about how I would take them but I dont know. I will figure it out though. I just mostly wanted to know if it was even a good Idea. Thanks Yall
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My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year and a half so this is our second valentines day. Last year he gave me a bunch of really sweet gifts and I gave him a lousy card so I wanted to give him something good this time. He really wants new camera so thats what I am going to get him. The problem with it is 1) He is very particular on what he wants so I had to tell him so he can chose his own. (I told him early because its a small town so I have to order online) 2) There really is nothing romantic about a camera So since both the romance and surprise elements are gone I was thinking of something I could do for him to make it more special. I am was thinking that maybe, since the camera is being shipped to my house, I could take some sexy/naughty pictures on it before I give it to him. The only thing is I am kind of self conscious and I do not really ever do that type of thing. I want to do it though, my only concern is...will it be weird or awkward since I don't do things like that very often or will it a nice surprise?
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They do not worship satan, they don't even believe in satan. They pretty much just hate christianity their bible just sorta talks about what is wrong with the christian bible, in their eyes. he is 22
