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DCMann2

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Everything posted by DCMann2

  1. DCMann2
    The only thing that sucks about waiting for an ex to contact you is...waiting. It kind of makes you feel like they don't care, even though they probably do. I contacted my ex directly for the last time almost a week ago, but we've talked twice since then (she IMed me, and I responded). Everything was kept light and civil, with no mentioning of her bf, or the girl I'll be going out with, and it was really nice. I like little talks like that, and I hope that we can continue to have them, but you have to remember that your ex has to contact you, and not the other way around.
  2. DCMann2
    And that, my friends, is that the average relationship time before a break up is a year and a half. It seems like 80 - 90% of the people here (me included) were in a relationship for a year and a half before it ended. Is there something magical about that expanse of time? I'm thinking that once you hit a year and a half, things start to get a little stale, and you and/or your ex takes a step back and thinks "am I really going to spend the rest of my life with this person?" I tend to think that that's the situation with a LOT of us around here, which is why most of us want our exes back so badly. Anyway, that's just what I was thinking.
  3. DCMann2
    Wow...congratulations. I wish the best of luck to you both, and I hope everything works out. Wish the same for me!
  4. DCMann2
    Well, in my case, my ex cried over it for a day, maybe two, and then she got over it. I cried about it every day for nearly a week, and then a few times about two or three weeks after the fact. I took the split MUCH harder than she did, because I felt (and I still feel) that she was the love of my life. The fact that I love her so much makes things very difficult for me at times (since she has a new bf already), but I'm not letting this get in the way of my life. After a period of NC (about two weeks) she initiated contact, and we've been in limited contact since then, and while it's hard, I show her that I'm strong, happy, and moving on with my life and other such things, and I know for a fact that she thinks about me. I'll be going out with another girl when she gets back from Europe this week, which I think is something I really need right now. When my ex finds out (I'm sure she will...she's very smart) she might panic and feel that she'll lose me forever, and she may want to start talking about reconciling. Then again, she might not. Either way, I'm moving on with my life, regardless of how hard it is.
  5. DCMann2
    And that's EXACTLY why I don't check my ex's myspace anymore. I still have her as a friend, but she's not in my top 8, so I don't know if she's online and just avoiding me if I don't see her, and I don't even look at her page. She reads my bulletins, and sometimes I'll read hers, but only if they're neutral (no surveys, since most of the time they ask if you're in love, and with whom).
  6. DCMann2
    If I were you, I'd just keep things going nice and slow like you're doing. Remember, slow and steady wins the race.
  7. DCMann2
    1. I cried and begged, but I apologized for begging. I didn't promise to change, I'm just doing it. She appreciated that I apologized for begging. 2. I did strict NC for about two weeks, and during that time, I did a LOT of healing, and I feel a lot better about myself. She ended up breaking NC, and we're now in LC. 3. I don't know if she can see if I've changed or not, but I know for a fact that she's not pursuing me (she's in a rebound relationship at the moment). 4. Once. 5. I'm not doing strict NC anymore. I'm strong enough to be in LC with her.
  8. DCMann2
    I did NC for about two weeks, and in those two weeks I was able to heal a LOT, and now I'm able to keep LC with my ex. Things are moving very slowly between us (especially since she has another guy), but I have a lot of patience and love, and that helps me get through all of this.
  9. DCMann2
    This is a fantastic post, and I've been applying many different techniques into getting back my ex and creating something that will (hopefully) work for me. Some of the things you said were really good (such as being their friend and giving them room to run and all that), and that's something I'll definitely apply. Granted, I'll apply it through limited contact, but that's not the point. The point is, I'll apply it, and keep everything light and happy, and I'll let her know that everything is going well for me in subtle ways (which they are).
  10. DCMann2
    Well, at least you know for sure now, right?
  11. DCMann2
    Right now, though, it seems that things are okay between her and her current bf, but I tend to get the feeling that the newness of their relationship is starting to wear off. I don't want to make any claims or assumptions, but that's what I feel in my gut, and my gut instincts are right 90% of the time. My gut, as well as my head and my heart tell me to pursue my ex, but just not right now. I have a feeling that I'll know when the time is right to try and win her back.
  12. DCMann2
    I refuse to be a "just in case" guy. If we get back together, I want it to be because she loves me, not because things didn't work out with her current bf.
  13. DCMann2
    I don't feel like I'm still with her. I've met someone else, and we'll be going out when she gets back from Europe. I know that for now, the relationship my ex and I had is over, and I've accepted it for the most part. Does that stop me from loving her? No, it doesn't. Does it stop me from wanting to get back with her? Of course not. The point here is that while I'll be in limited contact with her, I'll still be able to do the things I want to do, and she'll be able to see that and respect it. Only time will tell what will eventually happen between us.
  14. DCMann2
    I made most of the classic mistakes before I found this forum, and I continue to make small mistakes as time continues to pass, but they're not nearly as serious as the ones I originally made. My ex and I have apologized to each other for the way we treated each other after the split, and we're now on much better terms, but it still hurts to talk to her knowing that she's with someone else, which is why I don't talk to her nearly as much as when we first split. I guess I'm just trying to get the message accross to her that I'm not always going to be there for her whenever she wants to talk to me, even though it's so hard for me not to talk to her. I still want to be with her, but it's only a want. I used to feel like I needed to be with her, but now I know that it I just want it. If she's willing to see me some time down the road, then we'll see what happens after that. I might get some closure, or I might get signs that she may want to get back together. Only time will tell, though, and in the meantime, I'm going to continue living my life as best I can.
  15. DCMann2
    I don't think it's necessary. Keep in mind that I want to get back together with her. She knows I want limited contact, and she's okay with that. When we speak, it'll be on my terms, and my terms only. She doesn't know THAT part yet, but she will soon enough.
  16. DCMann2
    It seems a little strange that the best way to get an ex back is to move on with your life like everything is perfectly fine. I kind of wonder why that works. I guess jealously and loneliness can be very powerful emotions, even for the dumper.
  17. DCMann2
    Dude, it seems that our situations are quite similar. Granted, the timelines are way different (we were together 18 months, but she got with her new bf 20 days after me, and they've been together since then), but I seem to feel the same way you do. I want a relationship with my ex, and she knows it, but she also needs to know that I'm not going to wait around forever. Once the girl I met gets back from Europe, we'll be going out, and I tend to think that my ex isn't going to like it, since I think she expected me to be single forever and wait for her. She already misses talking to me like crazy, so I tend to wonder what she's really feeling as opposed to what she says she's feeling. At any rate, I'll keep doing what I'm doing (limited to no contact), and if things work out between us, then that's fantastic, but if not, then that's life.
  18. DCMann2
    I have learned, which is why I'll keep limited contact, then eventually go back to no contact until I'm REALLY ready to talk to her. If she deletes me again, so be it.
  19. DCMann2
    It turns out the reason she did what she did is because reading all the bulletins on myspace that said how happy I was, how great things were going, etc., were upsetting her and making her miss me even more. She said that everything she was feeling in the email she wrote to me was true, but now I feel weak and stupid for breaking NC, just because I am so in love with her. Like I said, I'm going to keep limited contact with her. I asked her to be patient with me, and she agreed, which was really nice of her, but I'm going to remain quite distant from her, and I'm going to continue to kind of keep her in the dark so she continues to think about me and miss me. Yes, she's still with Alex, but I don't even care anymore. All I care about is her, and what makes her happy. I'll still be calling her early next month to see if she wants to go out with me, and if she does, I think I'll be well on my way to getting her back.
  20. DCMann2
    I've decided that while I do want contact with her, I want it to be very limited, and we will be in contact on my terms. She's willing to accept that, and she admitted to me that she was being immature, and that being immature will not help the situation in any way.
  21. DCMann2
    Do you think what I did was wrong? I mean, do I come off as mean, or childish, or any of those things that have turned me off from her? I think I'm handling this much better than she is, and if she replies, even if it's a no, I think it'll show great maturity on her part.
  22. DCMann2
    I couldn't do it. Unfortunately, your response was too late, Leigh. This is what I wrote: You wrote this [the email she sent me] to me two days ago. It is now Tuesday, and you went from that, to completely trying to shut me out of your life. My question is: why? If you truly meant what you said, I think that you would've written back to me, saying that while it's hard for you to accept, you have to respect my decision for this time apart. I've tried to do the same for you, but no matter how hard I try, it always ends up backfiring, and I end up back where I was. That's one of the reasons why I needed this time apart so much. I need it to help myself with everything that's going on in my life. Jessica, if you're going to say something like that, then do what you did because of what I believe to be right, then you're just acting childish. I hate to say it, I really do, but that's what's happening. I'm going to ask you something now, and I want you to answer it. Did you mean what you said in your email to me? You only have to write back with one word. If you meant it, then I can respect your feelings, and I will apologize for acting the way I did, because I know that I came off as cold. If you didn't, then I can't respect your feelings, because they weren't really your feelings, and I will not contact you until I'm ready. If you truly meant what you said, then I think I can speak with you again. Again, you only need to respond with one word: yes or no. I await your reply. -Jarod
  23. DCMann2
    So after I emailed my ex back after she contacted me saying it's torture not talking to me, etc. etc., she deleted me from her friends list on myspace. I don't know if she deleted me from AIM and MSN as well, but I am very, very tempted to break NC and speak with her, especially if she wants to so badly. Help me!
  24. DCMann2
    It's strange, because I feel EXACTLY how you do. I'm actually having kind of an "off" day today myself, and for some reason I keep thinking my ex is going to call me, even though I'm sure she won't. Anyway, I'm glad you're doing better, even if it doesn't feel like you are. Twenty five days of NC is quite an accomplishment, and I'm well on my way to getting there as well. It's strange to think that a month ago she had just broken up with me, and that I was such an emotional wreck. These days, though, I'm feeling MUCH better, and I'm more confident that things are going to work out at least in some way.
  25. DCMann2
    If you're afraid of saying something you'll regret, don't say anything. It's really as simple as that. I know that you've invested a lot of time and effort in your relationship with him, but if you get back together prematurely, the chances of you breaking up again are much, much higher. My advice is to distance yourself from him and become less available, and take things slowly. You're not obligated to answer every single one of his messages, even if you feel like you are.
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