scottrol882
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Posts
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For any and all that are interested, she sent the other guy packing last Thursday. We have spent many hours talking, and are actually getting married. Was going to use NC, but sooooooooo glad that I didn't. My persistence paid off BIG TIME. Thanks for every ones advice. NC is not always the best course of action.
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NC is NOT always the best course of action.
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For any and all that are interested, she sent the other guy packing last Thursday. We have spent many hours talking, and are actually getting married. Was going to use NC, but sooooooooo glad that I didn't. My persistence paid off BIG TIME. Thanks for every ones advice.
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That's when she told me that if things don't work out with this new guy that she would 'hunt me down' if she needed to, even if I've met someone new at that point, and try again with me..........because she loves me so much. So, do you think I should back off and see what happens?
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I called her on Saturday and told her that I'd like to see her, that I needed to talk to her. When I got there I told her that I can't have any contact with her as long as he is in her life. She started balling her eyes out and said 'I'm afraid, afraid that I will never see you again' ....... and I told her again, that as long as he is around that I can't have contact with her. That it's just too painful.
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My presense is causing problems between the two of them. Do you think that I should worry about that? ............ I don't want her to get mad at me for causing problems with the new guy.
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She knows how I feel and what I want and says that she is going to stay where she is, with this new guy. Do you think I should maintain contact with her, and just act like a good friend, no pressure as to a relationship? Somehow I feel that if I'm in her life as just a friend that she gets to have her cake and eat it to.....in a way. She said (balling her eyes out) that she misses me a lot, and misses spending time with me. So if I'm around she still gets to spend time with me, just not in the way I want her to.
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I have done all of the above (with the exception of the annoying and overbearing thing) and have even started to go to therapy. I even asked her if she would go with me and she said yes. Although, seeing how she is in a new relationship with another guy and says she is going to stay there I asked her if she would go to therapy with me for me, not for us, because for all intents and purposes there is no us right now. I felt that this was the best way to phrase it, as to not scare her off from doing the therapy thing with me.
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Thanks Friscodj. I've asked a few people what they think I should do, and a few people gave the advice that I should have no contact with her. That I should see if she misses me, especially after knowing how I really feel. That if she wants the relationship again that she will contact me eventually. But I think that this is a bad idea. This new relationship happened because she though I wasn't around. She thought that I had moved on. So how could appearing to move on do any good?
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She's smart,funny,kind,honest,considerate and she adores me as much as I adore her. We get along famously. I also think that 'Love' is a funny thing. By that I mean that there is a lot to it and some times you just can't explain why you love someone so much ...... you just do. I believe when you really love someone it's not a choice ........ you just do.
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No, never really have.
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I guess because I've always ended up getting hurt in the past. No, she never cheated on me, nor would she have. Not a flirt, not secretive.
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I guess I was afraid to marry her. I've been in a few serious relationships before and ended up getting really hurt. I've never been in a relationship where I loved the person so much, and I guess that maybe I was afraid that she would end up hurting me? I don't really know.
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So do you think I should maintain contact with her, and just act like a good friend, no pressure as to a relationship? It's very painful to see her with someone else, and my presense is causing problems between the two of them.
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Yes, I told her that I loved her many times, but I never told her that I would never leave her because leaving her never occurred to me.......so why say it?