eyeswideopen

I'm no pig but getting laid is one of the few things I haven't tried yet after my breakup. I'm not a whole lot better yet either. I'd go for it.. it's good for the ego, makes you feel good, and releases much needed endorphins... go ahead.. get a piece. On the other hand, I think it's strange someone would just randomly say, hey have sex wth me, it'd make you feel better.. two things to be careful of.. you don't lead her on to something you don't want.. or vice versa.. maybe she just needs to get some too and you're the sure thing. don't get attached. having sex with someone makes it harder though. for me, at this point and not having had any for way too long, I'd probably do it. if for anything just to feel that again. cmpletely selfish, i know, but hey, if she's offering and really knows the deal, why not?

I don't understand how you can think someone who cheats, lies, and leads people on is "wife material". You would think that's the exact opposite of what someone wants in a relationship, let alone a lifetime relationship.

We broke up because she told me she had feelings for someone else. I just felt that at the time, that was too much.. now that I've had a long time to think about it, I don't even know what that could have meant....

I was thinking about this recently and came to the conclusion... noone will ever care as much about you as you do yourself. I don't think this is a negative thing. That's really what you're supposed to be doing isn't it? Taking care of yourself first and foremost? Body is a temple.. yari yara yara.. There are many people who are wrapped up in their own world, problems, emotions, thoughts, actions, job, family, etc. it can just be hard to notice everyone..

For the most part I've only cried over a woman/love or a death. Other than that, no not really. Someone above mentioned that instead of crying, we get angry which is somewhat true.. or completely shut down. I have on a few occasions, gotten so mad/upset about something that I wanted to get angry, but instead of getting angry, I cried instead. I look at it like, well I can really pissed off and break something, punch a wall, or not do that and just let it out some other way. Guys feel all the emotions women do, it just comes out in different ways. Emotionless people are usually the crazy ones..

What does it mean when someone says they have feelings for someone? A ton of responses is fine here cause I just have no idea what the spectrum could be.

Here's another question for some ladies, or guys, or whoever... What does it mean when someone says they have feelings for them? Does that mean love? Does that mean like? Does that mean lust? Does that mean what?

Ha! Least I got a laugh today! Thanks RC.

Well the wedding was this past Sat. and she didn't come afterall. Turns out she had RSVP'd she wasn't coming and I didn't find that out until Sat. See, that's the thing... I don't know why.. but maybe if I get an e-mail that says that, it'd be final.. closure... or... it could be exactly what I don't need to hear... I think you all are right... leave it alone....

OK. Everyday is more difficult than the last with this whole grieving nonsense. I don't know why but part of me still wants her back. She told me she had feelings for someone else. She told me what she wants is out there. She told me at first, that she didn't know what she wants, she's not sure if she wanted him or I... at first I said let's work it out.. discussions the first few days were difficult, then it came to me saying, "Is this something you even want? We are just two different people.. maybe it'd be best if we did breakup..." She agreed. I've never regretted saying anything as much as I did that... We were together five years, lived together almost that whole time, experienced a lot of up and downs throughout the relationship.. So here's the question.. I don't know why I feel I need this or whatever. but I want to e-mail her after a long NC period and ask outright.. Are you happier now? Do you feel as if the decision you made was the right one? Is this person better for you than I was? Part of me wants to hear that I was the better choice and she just made a bad one at the time. Part of me wants to hear that he is the better choice so I can stop thinking about the what if's......... What should I do?

And I have to see her. I'm not looking forward to it at all. Not only am I not looking forward to seeing her, but she will most likely have the other guy there with her. It'll be almost 6 months now since the actual breakup, 3 months since she moved out, and about 1 month or so since the last contact. It isn't any easier today than it was day one and it's actually gotten worse. Pure melancholy has overtaken my freakin soul and it's so frustrating and even debilitating. Maybe if I just don't look at her at all I won't reopen that wound.. well it's not really healed yet.. but take major steps back. How am I supposed to be able to handle this when I still love her? To see her there with someone else? It'd be so much easier if I could honestly say I don't love her anymore, but I do unfortunately. Despite her telling me she had feelings for someone else. Despite catching her in lies. Despite it all, I still love her. Everyone around me knows I'm down, and I mean really down... it's all over my face, my demeanor, my actions, my words, all day, every day. I will promise you all this though.. I will do my very best to keep my head up high tomorrow and not let the emotions best me.. not tomorrow.. not during my good friend's wedding. No way.. Wish me luck........

Real friends won't bring it up either. If they know you're pretty down about it, a real friend would say things to take your mind off it, not keep your mind on it. I'd NC the "friends" too.

And she still is on my mind. I think back to the day we actually broke up and wham!, why didn't I try harder or give it more effort in those first few moments? Maybe it could have worked, maybe not.... We were going through a rough patch. I was ignoring her needs, as she was ignoring mine. We got into a power struggle rut. I mean, I don't like being controlled nor do I like to control, but there we were, doing just that. She always wanted to get married, I didn't. I had no doubt I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I was just being stubborn. "I'm not religious and I'm not a fan of paper laws, so why can't we just stay like this forever?" What an idiotic way of looking at it. There were times throughout this relationship I wanted to ask her, but I didn't. 5.5 years we were together. I knew something was amiss back this summer. I couldn't pinpoint it, asked questions which were denied, backed off some, steered clear of accusations, but then the night before New Years, we get into a fight, with one of her friends who's married and one of the biggest flirts I've ever met. We leave, we are fighting, and I ask her, why are you still with me? "I don't know anymore!".... wow.... what a shock that was to me.. "I don't know anymore". She gets out of the car, I Say I'll see you at home, and she doesn't come home. At all, that night. I"m scared, we were drinking, thinking the worst. I check her cell records, and she was apparently talking to another guy for a while now... even during my Christmas party, when I noticed she wasn't around, I asked where she went, she said "I was on the dance floor, you looked right at me." but was in fact on the phone with him. This was the second time in the relationship she lied about speaking with other guys... I was too angry, too upset, and felt too betrayed... I felt the trust was gone now... hence, we must break up. She slept over the other guy's house that night... saying he was the only option because our friend's were out of town... Either way, we didn't break up right away, we broke up the Wed. after..... And I look back at that day still as one of the worst days of my life... I cry as I type this because I am thinking about it. She's already moved on with this other guy, supposedly happy as she could be. I wish I was there too, but I'm not.. it's been 5 months, and I still don't feel like things are getting better for me and I'm lost without her. It frustrates me, pisses me off, and saddens me that I either one, lost the girl I've always wanted out of stubborness, or two, still haven't gotten over this woman. I'm stuck with this house, these responsibilities, limited money, and limited time. I'm not really asking for any advice here as I realize time will heal all wounds, I'll move on eventually, and sometimes it takes something like this to discover who you really are.. just needed to vent...