mmd

Well i've been posting my problems with my long term girlfriend for a while. We are both 16 and had a relationship for 1 year 8 months. The break up happened yesterday, it was mutual the reasons were... 1. She wanted to be a lot more involved with her friends, she felt that she was missing out. 2. She was not 100% into our relationship, but I was so in the end I was the one getting hurt. I confronted her yesterday, telling her that shes been distant and not putting much effort into our relationship and she said she did notice it. I told her that maybe she needs to realise how important I am or maybe not and the only way to tell would be to break up, and if we were meant to be we would get back together. I took control of the mutual break up and initiated NC instantly and told her that she should only contact me if she wanted me back. I miss her like crazy but Im not showing it... She talked to a few people I know and they told me that she wanted us to be friends. So the same day as the break up I sent a text saying: "Hey... I just want to let you know that I do want to be friends with you but thats after I get over you." She replied "oh really? how are you? Can I call you tmmrw?" 20 mins later. I didnt reply after that. The next morning I replied "sorry I didnt reply, I couldnt text you at the time" So its Day 3 and Im holding strong... The only problem for me is that Im being hopeful and Im hoping this plan will attack her insecurities and make her think twice about what she wants and we can get back together. Also I dont know how to reply if she texts me saying where have you been today? or What are you doing now? She also sent a text saying "If we're meant to be then were gonna get back together"... I just left it, should I reply? If so what do I say? HEEEELP MEEEEE I want her back... but in the end I know this can go either way and NC will help me prepare for it as well as help me get her back in a way. ](*,) Thanks in advance greatly appreciated.

She just sent a text saying "if we were meant to be we'll get back together: at 11:30 pm, not sure how to respond, i think im just going to leave it.

Also I would like to know how to deal with her when she comes to me crying or sad about the break up thx

Im doing it for both reasons. To try and get her back aaaaand to help me heal. If I dont get her back I'll be so used to not having her around from the NC that it wont affect me. I dont have my hopes up so I wont get let down if it back fires. Good luck asha... keep in touch for sure.

Well if shes not looking for the relationship you want, you need to move on so you can heal and get better.

If you are just her friend you will get hurt, because you will always end up wanting more out of the relationship and the cycle starts over again unless you know you can stay JUST friends with her and be happy. Does she have anyone else? Any close friends that maybe she could go to instead? 9 months of NC that is a LONG time, and are you going to let it all go to waste by being friends with her again and just getting hurt, you'll be right back to where you started. I hope for the best. For you. mmd

I want her back and loving me 100% if not that then I want to be completely over her, maybe be good friends with her and be single and happy or find another great and better girl than her.

Oh wow... asha84 you deserve so much better! I agree with everyone else who has posted here. If I ever had a gf that cheated on me, I'd break up with them in a heart beat cause there are NO excuses. Just my opinion. You need to discontinue this relationship, move on and start enjoying the rest of your life. There are plenty more of fish in the sea 6 years is a long time but with time and friends you will move on and you will heal. Best of luck mmd

Thanks for all your posts, I hope for the best. "fake break up"? well I knew it had to come sometime because I was hurting for about 5 weeks until I decided enough was enough and I confronted my gf about how I was feeling and it ended with a mutual break up which we both agreed on. She just came online (msn) and she initiated the conversation, she was asking me questions on how I feel and I think I handled it the right way, Im following majord23's NC guide and its helping me stay in control and helping me deal with my feelings. asha84 I will be checking up on your thread as well Good luck

Well i've been posting my problems with my long term girlfriend for a while. The break up happened yesterday, it was mutual the reasons were... 1. She wanted to be a lot more involved with her friends 2. She was not 100% into our relationship, but I was so in the end I was the one getting hurt. I confronted her yesterday, telling her that shes been distant and not putting much effort into our relationship and she said she did notice it. I told her that maybe she needs to realise how important I am or maybe not and the only way to tell would be to break up, and if we were meant to be we would get back together. I took control of the mutual break up and initiated NC instantly and told her that she should only contact me if she wanted me back. I miss her like crazy but Im not showing it... She talked to a few people I know and they told me that she wanted us to be friends. So the same day as the break up I sent a text saying: "Hey... I just want to let you know that I do want to be friends with you but thats after I get over you." She replied "oh really? how are you? Can I call you tmmrw?" 20 mins later. I didnt reply after that. The next morning I replied "sorry I didnt reply, I couldnt text you at the time" So its Day 2 and Im holding strong... The only problem for me is that Im being hopeful and Im hoping this plan will attack her insecurities and make her think twice about what she wants and we can get back together. Any advice? Am I on the right track? Also I dont know how to reply if she texts me saying where have you been today? or What are you doing now? Thanks in advance greatly appreciated.

She says she loves me... and we had a really good weekend together very loving, its just shes really different in school. Her priorities change when she does to school. I just talked to her and im feeling better, Im just going to give her some space and hope we dont argue in the next couple of days. Should i make plans with her on the weekend?

Any reply would do I just feel alone...

ok well im upset... i just miss her and she doesnt seem to realise. I just called her... She has changed... She cares a lot about school and friends now... Since we are in our senior year. We said bye ending like this: Her 'well do you want me to call you later or not?" Me 'yeah if u want but dont expect me to be in the happiest of moods" Her " ok well we'll just speak tmmrw then." Me "ok sure bye babe" Her "bye" We see each other at school tmmrw not sure how to proceed. How should I act? We usually text each other in the morning. Should I just let her initiate everything?

I just rang her shes eating dinner at the moment, she said "yeah i was wondering whether you were gonna call or not..." she seemed fine... why am i the only one stressing out about this... what do i say to her?

Im wondering whether to wait till the end of the day and see if she texts/calls, and if she doesnt I will... Or should I just get to it right away?

ok thx well i meant instead of "ended" i mean said bye. She used to be more willing to fix things now she just seems to not care so much.

We arent really talking atm, school has finished and its a been a couple of hrs. Normally she or I would text one another or call. We ended on non-talking terms. "don't wanna give in" I think she should be the one coming to me and saying sorry... "being pissy", well just lately she seems to be getting annoyed with me. If I was to talk about it with her I would after she apologises or when we are talking and good again.

well we did talk... 1 week ago, shes distant because she cares a lot more about her friends now than she did before and she wants to stay close with them. and about her getting pissy with me i have no idea... and i dont wanna give in.

My girlfriend seems to be really distant lately in school, always with her friends and I miss her so so much We see each other on the weekends occasionally, but she is also with her friends quite a lot, I know its good to have a balance, but right now she is 90% friends 10% me. This afternoon in school, I was telling her a joke but she didnt hear me and she asked what I said because she was talking to someone else. I said dont worry about it, its not important. But she pushed to try and get the answer, and i kept saying its not important and then she said OK FINE ILL JUST DO THAT TO YOU NEXT TIME and i replied saying you already have. She does it ALL the time to me, it doesnt seem fair and from that point on we had a silence until the end of the day we just hugged and said bye and things are weird... Not sure what to do... I hate feeling weird like this... So in conclusion: I feel distant from her at school I hardly feel like her BF. I've told her how I feel and I think I should just give her some space. We just had a small argument and things are weird not sure how to proceed. I dont want to contact her because I dont wanna give in when its her fault. She always seems to be getting annoyed with me.

do NC! and yes I know about the dreams it sucks... you need to tell yourself that its HIS loss. IT GETS BETTER you need to be with FRIENDS FRIENDS FRIENDS when i was the dumpee b4 i slept i got my mum to massage me which helped me fall asleep at night without thinking about it too much... good luck!

some women cant orgasm without rubbing the clit...

I would beat the hell out of that guy... but thats not the right thing to do thats just instict, you cant control who your gf speaks to but you can say that you arent comfortable and obviously you've done that its all about the trust man she is with you... im not too sure on how to deal with the guy trying to grope her

I say no contact... but yeah shes willing to be friends im guessing and i think you arent ready for that yet or maybe u are... if u arent then i wouldnt accept hanging out with her for the time being since it hurts maybe shes keeping u hanging...more details needed gl

Im in a weird situation atm... a break up but not quite, im trying to follow NC today my gf text me saying whats up? or what have u been up to? how do i reply?

Ok if I want to keep the relationship going 1 last time what do I do or say? If it fails again then im out... Im willing just to give one more chance...