ultraviolet

Until he's ready to give you the commitment and emotional security you need, don't indulge him with sex or affection. Every time you do so, you're essentially telling him it's ok to have fun with you and date other girls too. Is this what you want?

Excellent advice! If all else fails, take him to small claims court. He shouldn't be allowed to take prey upon anyone else's good nature. Good luck!

Everyone's right. You need to relax. The problem is how to do that? Well if you notice when you're not alone, performance anxiety is never an issue. It only became an issue a month after you started getting more emotionally attached to the new girl. The problem isn't the emotional attachment itself, but the fear of getting attached and becoming vulnerable to getting hurt again. Three months might seem like enough time to get over the heartache of breaking up with your fiance, but if the relationship was a serious as you say, it sounds like you still need some time to process what she meant to you and what happened between you before you can fully trust and love someone else with ALL of you. Unfortunately performance anxiety only exacerbates performance anxiety. Don't worry about what hypothetical future girlfriends would think about your performance. Focus on healing your heartache, making friends, and being ok with being by yourself for awhile. When the right woman comes along, take things slowly. Don't be in such a rush to bed her. Build up the trust and the affection, and when it's right you won't be thinking about what you're afraid of, but how much you love and want to make love to this woman. As for the latest Ex, any girl who'd leave you over sex clearly isn't worth keeping.

It's really difficult to get over someone when you're not sure if they'll ever come back or what changed their feelings about you in the first place. Your best bet in these circumstances is to let her be. Since she's the one that's confused, she needs to be the one to figure out what it is she really wants. You can't will yourself to stop thinking about anyone. Actually trying entrenches the thought of them in your mind even more. But you can... 1. Remind yourself that you're a good person in your own right and that she's the one that's missing out on you. 2. Deliberately sit in the front row of classes so that she isn't in your field of vision. 3. Make new friends and/or hang out with old ones in class so that you start associating these places as places that involve faces other than hers. 4. Find new hangouts. Go places that no one would expect to find you. Your studying and social life will go much more smoothly. 5. Changeup your room, car, or any place else she frequently spent time with you. Box up anything that reminds of you her existence. 6. Exercise. It's good for you, boosts your endorphins, and tires you out. You'll sleep better too. 7. Be kind to yourself. You're going through a rough time and the last thing you need to do is beat yourself up. Revitalize yourself by reading things that are uplifiting and inspirational. (i.e. "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series) 8. Mark your calendar. Make fun plans for the future. Pat yourself on the back for every day you make it one day closer to finishing up this semester. 9. Volunteer. Help your favorite life form (kids? animals? the misfortunate?) or cause. Seeing how much you're needed makes you realize that your life is much bigger than any one person. 10. Hang out on Enotalone and give advice. Sometimes the best way to get over one's heartache is to use it to help others heal their own.

Nothing drives a woman crazier than indifference. Running hot or cold is just going to tell her that she still means something to you. Don't give her that satisfaction.

I recently saw an Ex that I hadn't seen in years and the physical attraction was just as strong as ever. It wasn't the physical attraction that complicated things, but the pain of knowing what might have been.

No it wasn't stupid. He was the one who introduced himself and asked how to contact you, so you were just offering to fill in the blanks. I'm guessing he was mesmerized by your beauty and forgot to ask... or maybe he got shy... Regardless don't sweat it. Perhaps he'll surprise you with his resourcefulness... Disclaimer: I'm not a guy, but I date one on TV.

If he's always been the 'dumpee', can you imagine how scary it is for him to realize that he wants to marry you? In his mind you're the girl who hasn't dumped him YET. If you're strong enough to wait him out, giving him a month to calm down sounds reasonable. Hope it works out for you two!