frigginexes

I wanna ask what you do. Getting $17 an hour for doing nothing but surf the net and read? That's my kind of job! LOL. I could deal with that but you probably don't have the right temperment or whatever for that. Some need to keep busy, socialize and it drives them nuts to just sit there. But for others it works, it is all your personality type.

Don't break it! If he cares and loves you believe me he will get in contact. Trust me!

Hmm....Do this: Pretend you changed your number and a new girl has your old number and she is looking for "Charlie" or whoever. You can text "Hello Charlie this is Marie, did you get my message?" Maybe you can cover yourself that way. Just a thought.

I'm so confused. Over a month ago my ex of 2 years came back after 1.5 mos. of NC, initiated by me cause she was treating me like a doormat. She said she wanted to take things slow and has to have me in her life, loves me, and really missed me. I bought it and went along at her pace. Well she had been broken up with her recent ex for about 4 mos. but they still sort of hung out and talked. My ex acted like she really didn't like talking to him and got annoyed when he called, and she stated she wanted to change her number so he couldn't have it (yeah right). Well about a month into "taking it slow" she said she wasn't over her ex after I asked her if our relationship was going to go anywhere, and I found a blog on her myspace about him and how much she was still in love with him. Well I immediately cut her off and went back to NC but first told her I was very upset that she tried to come back to me when she wasn't 100% ready. I am now doing NC once again to get over her. It sounds like her recent ex has a new girlfriend from his myspace page and I know she is upset about that. Her ex was a definite loser (drugs, no goals in life), and I am the opposite, everything she could want. I Have a good job, attractive, friends, etc. I treated this girl excellent in every way and she knows it. Recently my ex put a blog on her myspace wondering why no one good comes into her life, and why can't she get a decent person to like her and why she keeps getting the short end of the stick. She says she wishes she could turn her feelings off for this person and not like them but she can't (she is talking about her recent ex here). She said she wonders when a good person is going to come along and love her and treat her decently and when is that good person going to come along and appear. She also said she is tired of people playing games with her. I am so dumbfounded by her blog because she had a chance with a good person and she messed it up. ME!!! She knows I am a good person and I know darn well she is attracted to me and likes about everything about me. Maybe I'm not wild enough, don't know. And as for people playing games, she should take her own advice. I am afraid now that she thinks of this NC I'm doing again as a game and I'm afaid it's making me look childish or something to her. It's as though I wanna write her a letter saying "you had that person!" "Your the one who begged me back, then you decided you weren't over your recent ex!" Why are you complaining? Guess I'm afraid this NC I'm doing will make her hate me even more and make me look completely heartless and cold and like I don't care. Am I doing the right thing? It's like I want to scream to her "I LOVED YOU!!! YOU COULD OF HAD ME AGAIN!! YOU COULD OF HAD EVERYTHING!!! WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING THAT YOU CAN'T GET NO ONE GOOD!!!!

Listen to Heloladies21. He speaks the truth!!

Do you think unstable people want to be with someone like themselves - unstable? Example - Someone who may have a mental issue, jump from job to job, does drugs? What if the unstable person had the chance to be with someone who had their {mod edit} together, good job, doesn't do drugs, has a life, friends, all that. Do you think that would freak the unstable person out and make them wanna run back to an unstable partner because they're scared of being in a good relationship like that? This is just something I've been thinking about lately and would really like all your input and opinions. Thanks.

It means if you are going to be friends with her and talk to her she will have an easier time weaning herself off of you. My ex tried the same thing by asking stupid questions and all she was doing was seeing if I was still around and if she could get me to talk to her, it's kind of like them not really wanting to let go so they pretend all is fine and that your old buds.

Well I am not breaking NC again. I have learned my lesson. Do you think she'll keep trying the mind games?

Do not, Do not, Do not contact her. You will regret it if you do. Trust me. She needs alot of time to miss you and I guarantee she will if you don't contact her. Do not be friends with her as she is just trying to soften the blow and wean herself off you.

Sometimes I don't even think her motivation was the money, but rather seeing if she could get me to crack and talk to her?

What is she doing here? What does she want from me?

My bipolar ex tried to come back to me over a month ago saying she loved me, had to have me in her life, wanting to have a second chance and take things slow, and she even told me she was going to change her number so her latest ex couldn't have it. They broke up 4 mos. ago after a little over a year. I fell for it and we began to hang out again after a rocky 2.5 years of knowing her, 6 mos. together and 2 years of being ex's. During the two years of being ex's she has been very hot and cold to me. When she would have a fight with her latest ex she would run to me. She would call me all the time too, wondering what I'm doing, and with whom and would act jealous if I was hanging out with another girl. She would even sometimes tell me she was still in love with me and would try to put the moves on me. She has always had a tough time letting me go. She hasn't had the best taste in guys. She has dated unattractive, welfare, some druggies, those who like drama. I wasn't the best catch when we dated but I blossemed and all the things she didn't like about me before I changed (for myself). I have my head on straight, am attractive, have a house, good job, friends, everything. She always said before she was happy when we were together. Anyways, back to the point - So as we started taking things very slow and I find out she is still talking to her latest ex who got her on drugs. My ex has been clean for about 2 weeks and said she wants to stay that way. She was also talking about wanting to get her own place, not really making future plans with me, all the while I'm thinking maybe she is using me to soften the blow of leaving her ex. She tells me no she is not over her ex yet and I ask her why she didn't wait to come back until she was over him, and her response was because I care about you. So I am surfing myspace the next day and find a blog on her page about him and she was saying she's not sure she's ready to let him go and that she's still in love with him and that whomever he dates next has to go through her for approval, blah blah blah. I am crushed so I almost immediately cut her off again. So I'm sure she goes back to hang out with the ex. So a few days later after I started NC she texts me "sayin hi" I ignore it. Then she texts me "it's rude to ignore someone" I ignore it. about a week went by and she texts "how do you want me to get you the money I owe you for the phone bill?" I ignore it still. A few days later she says "so I take it you are paying my cell bill then?" I ignore it while thinking I will just pay the bill so I don't have to talk or see her. Next day I start thinking that she should give me my money so I will text her to mail it to me. I did just that. After 10 days I break NC by saying "please get me a money order for the money and mail it to me. Thanks." She sends back almost right away "I will when you can treat me like a human." I didn't respond for about 10 min. confused and she sent another that said "exactly, didn't think you'd text back." Then she sent "you can't even speak to me. forget you." About 20 min. later I sent "You will never be able to treat me as a human so why should I treat you as one. All you did was lie and screw me over. **** that. One day you will know what it feels like to be screwed around, and don't worry about the bill, I will take care of it." About an hour later she sent "You ****** with me too, but I did not lie to you." I have no idea why she's saying I ****** with her too, cause I didn't. I haven't sent anything since. I am surprised she didn't wait for ME to ask HER for the money, instead of her volunteering it. Was I an idiot for breaking NC? Should I send her a text back or start NC again? What is she doing?

Being her friend will only end up in heartache, she will never make up her mind if your always around, cause she won't have to. If she knows your always pining away for her she will think "I can have him if I want him, so let's see what else is out there." I say go NC all the way, then you will see her true colors - in time.

Okay why after 4 days of complete silence from her is she gonna text me "wanted to say hi," (in which I ignored) and then hours later put up a nice pic. of her and her loser ex?

She does do pretty good in not making any contact with me for awhile if she knows I won't. I guess you mean in cutting of the supply forever is saying if she trys to come back again to definitely not let her come back, I have caved in every time. I think this last time she came back I told her that this was her last chance so I wonder if she really won't try it again. She is on medication though for bi-polar if it makes a difference, but that mixed with drugs (if she does em again) probably isn't good.

Yikes! Does that mean she will try to come back in my life if there can be no medium?

It feels so good to vent on here sometimes, I have been dealing with a 22 year old bi-polar ex for almost 3 years. 6mos. together and 2 years of being ex's. I just don't get her at all. I was always so good for her, I have my **** together. I am attractive, have a good job, house, friends, like to do fun things. This girl has been so up and down with me since we broke up, dating others then telling me she's still in love with me, has regrets of breaking up, etc. She has been considered a drama queen and always seems to pick unstable people to date. She has been dating this other guy for the past year and a half and he does drugs, sells them, is physically abusive, physically unnattractive, doesn't have a good job, and no life and he got her on drugs. She would always run to me when they are having problems and use me as a shoulder to cry on, then go back to him. Since she has been with him I have done NC off and on, which always gets a reaction usually after a month or so then we would be friends for a short time. The time we were friends she would act jealous if I talked about other girls, or ask me where I'm going, what I'm doing and would get mad if I didn't text her. I was sick of her **** so I did NC again for 1.5 mos until she came begging (literally) me back to "take things slow." Well what happened is I caved in sort of, thinking she was really sincere this time cause she left her bf, came to live with her mom and told me repeatedly that she wanted to change, start over with me and everyone. She said she has to have me in her life, loved me, has always still been in love with me, etc. She had comletely changed seemed and I was literally shocked! But then a couple weeks later she started talking to her ex more, wouldn't make future plans with me saying her mom would kill her if she got into another relationship now after all she's been through and that she needs time. I saw on their myspace pages that they have been making comments that made it seem they weren't over each other so I told her that she was not done with her ex yet and she said that she was done with him but not over him yet, and on her myspace she wrote a blog to him saying that she didn't know if she wanted it to be over, she was still madly, deeply in love with him and whomever he dates next is one lucky girl! So I sent her a few texts explaining how I felt about it then texted her a "goodbye" and she said "what the hell?" Then she started asking me if I was still going to loan her that gas money, and I ignored her, then hours later she asked me if I was going to work out, I ignored her. The next day she said "ya know it's rude to ignore someone." I ignored her again of course. Haven't heard from her since 3 days ago and I do not plan to call her or text her. I just don't get it. She said she wanted to turn her life around and that she didn't want to date her ex anymore, she said it numerous times. She knows he's bad for her but she keeps running back to him. Unstable needs unstable maybe? Do you think she'll ever want a stable relationship. I know I should probably keep ignoring her if she contacts me? I don't know if she will contact me though anymore.

My ex and I have been broken up for over 2 years (she broke up with me for issues that are fixed now) but she has never been able to completely let me go. She has dated quite a few since we broke up, but has always had me on the side just in case and I let her cause she would tell me she was still in love with me, regretted breaking up with me, but she still wouldn't get back with me. I tried to play it cool all the time after we broke up and went with the flow and tried to be her friend. Well, her latest bf and her were supposed to move to another town, but my ex didn't really want to go cause I think they were fighting at the time, so my ex told me she wanted to be with me and stay here and get back together with me. I fell for it and was excited, then they make up and she moves with him. Big surprise I guess. So I went NC for a couple weeks till she calls saying she does want to be with me and move back, but she needs to stay there for awile longer and save money. I knew she was just stalling so I just went NC again without explanation this time. Then 1.5 mos. later she starts calling me private about 5 times a day and I didn't answer any. This went on for over a week, then she shows up in my driveway begging me for 2 min. of my time, crying, and saying she made the biggest mistake of her life and everything she said to me in the past about wanting me back was sincere, but that she was so messed up on drugs that she couldn't follow through. She said she left her bf and is living at her mom's house in my city and is trying to clean herself up and wants to start over, and start over with me and take things slow. I was really skeptical hearing this but her begging and crying broke me down so I decided to give her another chance. I told her I didn't want to get hurt again by her and she said she doesn't want to hurt me and wouldn't. So it seemed she turned into the most incredible woman, calling me, wanting to be spend time with me, making plans, lots of kisses and hugs, her saying she has to have me in her life, I am everything to her, and how she thought about me and missed me so much and that I have her by the nuts. lol. She even told me she was going to quit talking to her ex and that she wanted to be a family with me. I couldn't believe how much it seemed she had changed, the only thing that bothered me is that she wanted to take things slow and see where they go. That worried me but I was on such an emotional high that I rode with it. She seemed really stressed out at the same time, cause she couldn't seem to find a job and said she was frustrated starting everything over (she has moved around quite a bit in the past). She was also smoking quite a bit but I thought better cigarette's than drugs. She was stressed. I was patient with her, took her places and spent time with her but didn't push her too much, just went with the flow. Couple weeks went by and she started having casual conversation with her ex again and she said it was cause he was crazy and didn't want to drop him completely yet cause he was making threats and she was afraid if she quit talking to him he would snap and come after me or her. By this time I was starting to get frustrated and I brought up the subject of if and when we were gonna officially try again. She said she needs time to get her life situated and time to get over her ex. I went with it for another week then brought it up again and asked if I was being played and she reassured that I wasn't and she wants to be with me and there is no one better than me and to just give her time. She said she needed time cause she didn't want to hurt me and didn't want me to hurt her too and I assured that I wouldn't hurt her and that I was the one who should be cautious, not her. What was upsetting me was that she was still letting her ex control her and still talking to him after she said weeks ago that she was gonna drop him. We were supposed to spend some time together one evening at home and drink and she called me at work drunk (she had already started our party) and was crying saying her ex was sleeping with someone and that she still had feelings for him and wasn't over him, so I tried to be understandable and said it takes time to get over someone, etc. The next day while she went out job hunting I went to both their myspace pages and she had make an I love you comment to him and he had made one back saying he was sorry he couldn't make it in town the other night and didn't mean to disappoint her. I was PISSED!!! I was pissed cause she told me weeks ago REPEATEDLY that she did not want to be with her ex anymore, but she still cared for him and had feelings. She said she wanted to be with me. Anyways when she came back to my house I was cold to her and said "you not over him, there is still something going on." She replied with "It's over between me and him!" I said that it wasn't cause I could tell. She then got mad and grabbed her stuff and left. I then sent her a nasty text saying just to go and be with him and thanks for wasting my time and that everything you said a month ago was a lie and that we are not going anywhere cause of him and that you need to figure out what you want. About an hour later I check her myspace again and she has a blog titled "her ex's name" and wrote about how much he means to her, how she is still madly and deeply in love with him and that whomever he dates next is one lucky girl and that even though she needs to move on and let go she can't do it yet and it will be awhile and that if he's ready to move on he should but that she wants to approve who he dates next. etc. She had written this as soon as she left my place after our fight. That was just a punch in the stomach Later she sent me a sarcastic text saying thanks for the gas money you promised me and I said thanks for wasting my time. I then texted her "goodbye" and she said "what the hell?" then a couple hours later she starts begging me for the gas money saying she'll pay me back friday?! I ignore her then hours later she texts me and asks if I'm jogging later. I still didn't respond. The next day she texts and says it's rude to ignore someone, and once again I don't respond. Why is she acting so weird asking for gas money and if I'm jogging later and not dealing with the bigger issue here? I haven't gotten any texts today. My "goodbye" and my intentions were to start NC again which I am doing now. I won't respond to any of her texts or calls from now on. I just don't get it, it sounds like she wants her ex back now instead of me. She promised she wouldn't hurt me. Sometimes I think she just used me as a cushion for when she came back to my city so she wouldn't be alone, but she has been up and down with me for over 2 years, but she has said before that she couldn't imagine me not in her life and it kills her when I don't talk to her. I know she is still attracted to me and loves me. I think pretty highly of myself now and know I would be a great boyfriend. About her ex - this guy does drugs and sells them, is unattractive, has no money, bounces from job to job is 27 years old and is going no where in life, has been in jail, and I am exactly the opposite. She is 22 and bipolar by the way, so she is not always stable and seems she looks for the unstable to date. Does she even understand what she has done to me, she just stormed off the other day. I don't get it. Is she just young and dumb, and should I just let her go? Did I do the right thing by cutting her off and ignoring her? Is there anything I could have done differently? She says she doesn't want her ex back, but does it sound like she does?

So should I ask her real soon if we are going to be in a relationship, or not rush things for a bit longer?

Well, I was doing NC for a month and a half because I was tired of being my ex's backburner boyfriend. My ex would say she was in love with me, regreted breaking up with me, but still be with her boyfriend, and after they broke up she would still say those things to me, but still hang around him. I was always there for her, almost like her puppy and gave her a shoulder to cry on, etc. Well after 2 years of being broken up I snapped and said "enough" I need to finally get over this girl so I wrote her an email saying I was tired of being her doormat and to find another one. Yeah it pissed her off and she slammed me on her myspace, so I slammed her back then deleted my profile and started my strict NC. Well during the NC it was very hard but I didn't contact her one time in any way. She would call anonymously evey couple weeks with no message, then 2 weeks ago she started calling more and more to where I got 5 anonymous calls a day! I knew it was her, but I didn't answer once. This went on for a week, then she showed up in my driveway while I was leaving for work begging me for 2 min. of my time. She was crying saying the whole year she was with her now ex, she was on drugs and so strung out and it was hard to get away from that. She then said she has moved back in town and is now living w/her mom and has been clean for 2 weeks and wants to start her life over with a new beginning. She said she just couldn't be with her now ex anymore. I listened, while being skeptical. She begged me to meet her that night for dinner to talk and I agreed. At dinner she said that everything she said to me in the past about being in love with me and wanting to be with me was true and she HAS to have me in her life, that she doesn't know what it is about me but cannot let me go. We then went to the park for a walk and kissed. I told her I do not want to get hurt again and she said she wants to start over with me and doesn't want to hurt me ever again. I also told her that I do not do friends with ex's. She says she wants to take things slow, get to know each other again and build into a relationship. I was kind of surprised that she didn't want to jump right into a relationship but to take things slow. So this last week we have occasionally hung out, no spending the night yet or anything, no sex really yet, just lots of sweet text messages and phone calls. She seems really sincere about everything like sending me messages saying she wants to be with me, wants stability in her life, wants to be a family with me, seeing if I'm still in love with her, wanting me to have all of her, I'm what makes her happy, wanting to prove everything to me, wanting to know what the future holds for us, that I make her feel safe, etc. She seems like a different person and I hope dearly it's for real. I'm so afraid this will only last awhile and then she'll go back to her old ways. I am not pressuring her to get back right away even though I wouldn't mind and I'm not telling her I want her to stay the night yet even though I really want her too. I am kind of going with the flow. We are hanging out on Thurs. to go 4-wheeling for a day then she is helping me move into my new house. I am just afraid to be friend zoned again, but I don't want to scare her off by rushing things. I am kind of getting the feeling that she is afraid of scaring me off by rushing so she's not either. Am I doing the right thing by going with the flow? I had a short talk with her tonight saying I don't want to be ****ed around or played games with or I am gone, and she understood and said that she doesn't want to hurt me. Is there anything I should be doing differently here to secure a new relationship with her, and not scare her off, or be friend zoned?

You shouldn't have said that, but what's done is done. She was fishing to see if you were still around.

I am nervous but I don't want to always wonder if it would have worked. I am all about going NC again if she screws me over. But in the meantime how long should I wait to ask her if we are actually together. She says she wants to take it slow....I don't know if we are actually together or not right now.

I have been doing NC with my ex of 2 years for 1.5 mos. because she said she wanted me back, then started stalling cause she met someone else. The 2 years since we broke up she has treated me like her doormat by coming to me when her and her new boyfriend have a fight, then running back to him. Saying she's still in love with me, regrets breaking up with me, but never actually came back to me. I snapped with her 1.5 mos. ago and went strict NC. Well my ex has forced me to break my 1.5 mos. of NC yesterday by showing up in my driveway and begging for 2 min. of my time to talk. A week before she was blowing up my phone with anonymous calls which I didn't answer. So yesterday she showed up in my driveway before I was leaving for work. I didn't want to talk to her at first but she started crying and says she moved back to my city away from her last ex and is off drugs and staying with her mom. Her last boyfriend got her into drugs, but now she swears she is clean. She says she wants a new beginning with me and she desperately wants to prove she's changed and is still the person I dated 2 years ago. She begged for me to hang out with her that night to talk so I did. We took a walk through the park and started making out and talking. It was fabulous and very romantic. She says everything she ever told me about wanting to be with me again before was true and and that the drugs just completely messed her up. She also said she doesnt know what it is about me but she can't let me go, that there is a void in her life when I don't talk to her and she can't fill it even though she says she has tried. She says she cannot stand not to be able to talk to me and be in my life in someway. She says she was just so messed up when she was with her last ex that she couldn't be with me even though she wanted to. I told her that I cannot do friends with ex's if that is what she is wanting so I asked her what she wanted from me, and she said she is wanting to prove to me that she has changed and is wanting to take things slow starting out. She did not flat out say she wanted a relationship with me but said she wanted to take things slow, kind of work our way into it. I told her over and over I am not one to be ****ed with anymore and she swears up and down she would never mess with me or play with my feelings again. I told her if she plays with my feelings again I am gone. It just sounds like she is wanting to slowly progress at things to see where they go. She was talking about getting her own apt. when she finds a job and I keep wondering why she is not trying to jump head first into a relationship with me. I guess I am ready to jump head first when I'm probably the one who should be cautious, but instead she is wanting to move slow - what's up with that? Do you think I am being set up to be played again or does it sound like she is being sincere? She was soo emotional yesterday begging me to talk with her, and that she needs me and I am the missing part of her life. She says she chewed off all her nails yesterday cause she was so nervous about our date. How should I handle this because I cannot do friends with ex's, it's either all or nothing with her, and I told her I don't like gray areas. Should I be patient for awhile and see what comes of it?

I almost thought about having somone else answer for me to take a message. Its not surprising that she would call private, but this many times is strange. Seems she has problems telling me what she wants sometimes and wants me to do all the work. So you think she'll start being more direct if she is really wanting me to pick up?

Yeah I thought about picking up and saying something like that, but I am so afraid that picking up will set me back. Do you think if she really wanted me back she would find another way to contact me or actually leave a message? Does anyone know why she is playing these phone games?