frigginexes

I am currently doing NC with my ex of 2 years. I have been in NC for almost 1.5 mos. I started NC cause I was her "spare tire," "doormat," whatever you wanna call it, and although I have tried to be her friend while she runs back and forth with another guy so I snapped, turned into an ***hole and started NC, she wasn't happy about it, but it has been STRICT NC from my end. So now she has started calling from an anonymous number for the past week about 5 times a day, no messages, no voicemails, nothing - I know it's her cause only she would call me private. I have no clue what she wants and why she is calling so much and why she isn't calling from her normal number. Then today I got this weird text from 5000? that said "you/maybe somday?" I'm thinking I got the end of some weird text that may be from her too. I don't get why she is doing this and I'm trying to move on but am still in love with her and always wonder if we would of had a shot at a second chance. I have been ignoring all the calls. Does anyone know why she may be doing this? Should I keep ignoring them? If I do keep ignoring them will she get pissed off, try another way to get in touch or give up?

Yeah, you think if it was important she would leave a message or call me from her "normal" number. Maybe it's a control thing with her and she is trying to get me to call her and tell her to stop, so she can feel good that I "cracked" and called her?

You really think she would go crazy if I just keep ignoring her? She knows I dont answer "private" calls so you would think would quit *67ing her calls and call me normally if she wanted me to pick up. Trying to figure out what her motive is here.

I am too afraid to answer in fear that it would set me back. Why wouldn't she leave a message if it was so important?

I have been doing NC with my ex for almost month and a half. I started NC because she would say she was still in love with me, missed me, and she even said she wanted me back, then she would run back to her newly broken up ex, then tell me she needed some more time to work and save up some money before moving back to my city. I don't think she was quite ready to leave her last ex yet and move back to be with me because they were freshly broken up. I also heard through the grapevine that she was flirting or partially interested in someone she works with who lives in her town. So I snapped and said enough is enough, she is just stalling and is all talk and no action. If she wanted me bad enough she would drop everything and move in with me and be with me. She has been sorta doing these games ever since we broke up 2 years ago, leading me on, making out with me then running back to her boyfriend. I was her safety net, the person she ran to when her and boyfriend were having problems. I was almost always there for her and tried very hard to be her friend even though I had deep feelings for her still, so I took her crumbs. Well, she was not happy that I snapped and did NC - I started NC right after I found out she was flirting and liked a new guy at her work and I thought that he maybe the reason she was stalling with me. I started NC by ignoring her for a few days then she was acting like she really didnt know what she did to piss me off so I texted her that I wrote her an email saying I was tired of being her safety net, and that if a person really wanted to be with another they would move mountains and that this crap has gone on for too long, etc. Well her response to that was "****you, you don't know what my feelings are you inconsiderate ***hole!" Then she slammed me on her myspace page with a blog titled "***hole." So I made a temporary myspace and slammed her back with a comment. Then I deleted my page and that was that - then on to NC for over a month, and on.... It has been rough, as I have had some very rough patches, missing her, wanting her back, thinking about her 24/7, thinking about all the good times, forgetting the bad, wanting to call her, text her, email her, checking her myspace all the time until she set it to private a couple weeks ago. It's been rough. In the first month of NC I have had 2 private calls on my cell both 2 weeks apart, figuring it was probably her cause she has been known to call me private before. Now I have had about 10 private calls all in the last 3 days! No voicemails, nothing. Sometimes there will be 2 in a row. I am freaking out! I just know it's her and I am stressed. Then today 2 more private calls in a row, then an hour later an actual number called and I have no idea who that is either, and am too afraid to call it back. Now just 5 min. ago I got another private call! What is she doing here? I don't know how to handle this and I don't want to answer. You'd think if she really wanted to communicate with me she'd write me an email, or letter. Is she trying to see if I'd crack or what? What do you think she's going to do if I continue to ignore her?

Wow, it has been 36 days since I have had any kind of contact with my ex. I wish it didn't have to come to this but she was leading me on, saying she was still in love with me, regretted breaking up with me, wanted me back all while still hanging around her on/off again boyfriend in another town. So I was hopeful for awhile there listening to all her comments, but she said she needed to stay in her town for awhile longer to save up money so she could move back. Hmmm...her ex boyfriend or whatever he is, is still hanging around and she has mentioned a new guy she works with a few times, and they have been hanging out also. She was stalling to come back to me. She is 22 years old and just doesnt seem to know what she wants. Grrr....So I got tired of waiting around and snapped, wrote her a nasty email and went NC. I don't understand how she could tell me all those things then not show me any action to go along. Little background: I have pretty much always been there for this girl, held her when she was having problems with her new boyfriend, been a friend to her, had sex with her when she came on to me, gave her money (she never asked for any, but just to help her out), always talked to her when she called, and she would text me all the time, tried to tell her she deserved better, I have basically just been a really good influence in her life. I did all this for 2 years AFTER we broke up. We dated for 6 mos. and our relationship was good, she was VERY in love with me, almost obsessive, but I was having problems, although I did my best in the relationship and showed her love I had some problems I needed to fix so she broke up with me, but we stayed exactly as I mentioned above, friends with sometimes benefits. I fixed my problems and changed for the better and just turned into this dream guy for her, and she knew it and always commented how I have changed for the better, but she still continued to date others while having me on the side and would come run back to me when her and whoever she was dating were having problems, then she'd run back. This past Spring I knew I was finally getting fed up cause I was having bad mood swings around her, I would get pissed, tell her off and do NC for a month then she would BEG me to talk to her again and I bit the bait. She would say she was still in love with me, and she wanted me back but was scared, and didn't want to hurt her current BF. So we were friends for another month and she tells me she and her BF are moving out of state. I'm devestated and do NC again for a couple weeks, then I guess her and BF get in a fight during and she texts me non-stop begging to talk, I crack AGAIN and this time she tells me she really wants to be with me and not move and asks me if I want her - I crack and say "yes," well I guess her and BF make up and she is moving again. I'm completely mad now! So she and BF move to his parents house for a bit before preparing to move outta state. I cut her off once again and a couple weeks later she lays it all out, telling me she's lost without me, I'm perfect, she loves me, doesnt want to loose me, etc, etc. I fall for it everytime. A couple weeks later she comes into town, stops by and says she is going to fullfill that promise she broke awhile back to be with me again. Her and BF have officially broke up at this time. I hug her, we talk, then she goes back to her BF's parents house. We talk the next week, sort of making plans and I ask her when she's coming and she says she needs to hang out there a while longer to save money, and I'm like "whatever." So the next few days after that she is distant, so I call her and she starts saying she was busy that night at work and that her now ex BF was acting jealous of a guy she works with, and that he was just a friend. I knew right then and there that there was something getting ready to brew with her and this guy at work (weird how you can sense those things). By this time I HAD HAD ENOUGH!!! The wires in my brain finally all connected and I started NC. She texted the next few days wondering why I haven't called and started getting mad so I wrote her a nasty blunt email saying I am fed up with her stalling, saying she is all talk and no action and that this has gone on too long and I'm tired of being her safety net. Well she was MAD!! and she slammed me on her myspace, so I created a temporary myspace and slammed her back with a very nasty comment, then I deleted my myspace. She deleted my commment of course . So from then on it has been 36 days of STRICT NC. I think I really pissed her off this time, cause she has only tried to call me twice (anonymously) two weeks apart and I didnt answer. I don't get it I had changed so much, wasn't drama, didn't do drugs. Her now ex BF kind of got her into drugs (pot and exctasy) so I guess I was boring to her. I have a good job, am attractive (her ex BF wasnt), and he had no goals. She used to have goals till she got hooked up with him. Oh, and her and the guy from her work did hook up or whatever (I knew she had a crush on him). This is probably the longest time we haven't talked or seen each other in almost 3 years and I feel like I have this void and that something is missing - it sucks! I often wonder if she feels the same way, and if I was too harsh. I know I did the right thing by going NC, right? She just doesn't seem to understand why I did it but relaliates by being angry. I can't stop wondering if she's missing me. She has said before when I wasn't talking to her at one point that she has tried to fall out of love with me. Can you do that? I wonder if that's what she's trying to do again.

Thank you I can't stop thinking that I was too mean to her by my email which was very blunt and basically telling her I'm not taking her **** anymore. Guess I'm afraid it really scared her off.

It's been a bit over one month of NC with my ex. We were so close getting back together before I started NC. She said she regretted breaking up with me 2 years ago and that she wanted to be with me again, but she kept stalling saying she needed to spend more time in her town and save up money first. Her other ex lives in the same town and another guy she hangs out with, which I was sure she had a crush on. (I could just tell, cause she was stalling and she talked about him sometimes). I just snapped and went NC without telling her why. She then texted wanting to know what she did and I wrote her an email explaining why. I said you led me on telling me you miss me, regret breaking up with me, telling me your in love with me (she even told me all this when she was with her last ex), but you are all talk and no action. I told her I felt I was her backburner boyfriend. Well she was MAD!! She slammed me on her myspace blog and I retaliated by slamming her back with a comment, and saying she's one of the most negative people ever, then I left it at that, deleted myspace page and since then I have had STRICT NC. Seems it has been all talk and no action from her for 2 years and thats why I snapped, and when she started talking about this new guy, even though she said he was just a friend I thought "enough." So throughout the month of NC I have had 2 anonymous calls, 2 weeks apart (I'm sure they were from her). I didn't answer them and there were no voicemails. I have checked her myspace everyday (I know - BAD!) She just set her profile to private yesterday to where only her friends could check it. When I read her blogs before I guess her and that guy hooked up (I knew it)! Cause she talked about how he is messin with her head and standing her up, etc. Then she started writing blogs saying how her life sucks. Anyways, I just really miss her this week, its awful, I am remembering all the good times with her and the bad is fading. I am starting to feel like I made a mistake doing NC, or I was too harsh doing it and I jumped the NC gun too soon, but I just snapped cause I was tired of her stalling. And she is soo angry with me, I dont know if she still is, but I imagine so. All I've gotten are a few measly private calls. Then I start to think if I wouldn't of started NC maybe we would be together right now, but my instinct then told me to start NC. If she really cared you think she would really try to get in touch. Also it's weird she changed her myspace to private, she couldnt of known I was checking it cause I wasnt a member but only for an hour to write her a nasty comment, then I deleted my profile. Anyways I really miss her. I just hate the fact that she probably hates me for standing up for myself, but I was tired of being the backburner boyfriend. I feel as though if she really wanted to be with me she would, nothing standing in her way.

I dont have a myspace because I dont want my ex to know what I'm up to. You cant really disappear if you have a myspace and are updating it all the time. They will get their fix of you by looking at your page.

I tell her all this stuff, that actions speak louder than words, and if you really wanted to be with me you would move mountains. I am going to keep doing NC, I havent broke it yet and am not planning on it. She constantly complains about her life, but she could of had a perfect life with me, I dont get why she chases the drama.

I don't get it! I have been doing strict NC with my ex for 23 days. Before I started NC she told me she was still in love with me, wanted to be with me again. She said she wanted to move back to my city and be with me after she worked and saved some money. Well she started growing kind of distant after I was on the phone with her one night, she was making a comment about some guy that worked there, and I just got that bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and could tell this feeling wasn't good about this guy at her work. I could tell she had a crush on him. She was still distant the next day and didn't call so I decided right then and there that I was starting NC. I wasn't about to be faced with competition. I ended up a few days later sending her an email saying that this has gone on too long this back and forth **** with us and I'm sick of it. We broke up 2 years ago and I'm tired of the games, you saying you want to be with me then not following through, and saying you need to stay where you are for now and save money, your just stalling. This girl has lead me on for 2 years! Coming back to me when her and her recent ex have problems. I have been her fallback guy the whole time. Well its almost been a month later and come to find out her and that guy from her work have been messing around in their cozy little town. I read her myspace tonight out of curiosity (I know thats a bad idea) and she had a blog trashing her new guy, calling him a liar, and that he plays games, and stood her up, and she told him to ****off, and that she has tried not to care but she wears her heart on her sleeve. I don't get it!! How can she move on so fast with someone else and become attached to him and seems I can't move on at all!! I even wrote her an email right when I started NC telling her how I bluntly feel about being her back burner guy and she responded by saying some very mean things about me on her myspace. How can she tell me she's in love with me, wants to be with me, then when I get tired of waiting for her to actually COME BACK to me, and start sticking up for myself and not taking anymore of her crap she trashes me, and thats the end of it, then she clings on to someone else. How can she fall in love with someone else so freakin fast? I don't get it! Why didn't she fight to get me back? I guess I must have made her pretty mad in the email, but after 2 years of this and wanting her back I snapped! and started NC. She is 22 by the way, if it matters.

I never was addicted to the internet until I found this site! LOL.

I think he's talking about if a woman can ejaculate sort of like a guy, not necessarily having an orgasm.

I think I know how you feel. I wouldn't go if it's going to affect you that much, it sucks to break the flow of NC. It could set you back, then you'll have to start over again. If it's pretty laid back and your boss won't be upset then miss it.

If start being an ***hole to your ex, and start completely standing up for yourself after being a comlpete doormat for a long time, and just stop taking her crap, and fighting back, what goes through the ex's mind. Do you think they hate you more, respect you more, think of you more or less? *I have been doing NC with my ex after being treated like crap, and as her back-up boyfriend for almost 2 years! I always wanted her back and she would come running to me if she got in a fight w/her boyfriend, and I would always let her in, then they would make up and she would run back to him. It was just a messed up cycle. Then on top of that she would say she was still in love w/me, missed me, say she wanted to get back together, then start flirting w/someone new! So I was left waiting and waiting...Until I started being a jerk and doing NC, and when she wanted an explanation I wrote her a nasty email, then when she slammed me on her myspace I wrote an even nastier comment (which she erased). I'm sure I'm being an ***hole to her! But I'm moving on! On top of all that I am talking to one of her best friends (because we are friends) and she HATES that and is very upset about that! So what are your comments to the above question? I would like some honest answers to this direct question. Thanks.

Think she really hates me or what?

Well my ex hates me now. She posted a very mean blog on her myspace today that said: It is titled "***hole." So you are probably wondering who this ***hole is? My ex boyfriend! I just don't understand why he has to continualy be in my life, but yet he says he wants nothing to do with me and for me to fall off the earth. I am confused. Maybe it's cause he does not have her own life, or gets bored with his life? I dunno!!!!!! But no really, he needs to get the clue that being out of my life means not getting in my **** and reading it or talking to Sylvia about me and who I talk to!!!!!!!!!! That's right, this is for you Kenneth!!!!!!!! I am doing NC with her 10 days ago and wrote her this email about 3 days ago after she wanted an explanation: (edited for content) So you really wanna know why I'm not talkin to you? To protect myself, and my feelings from hurt. This stuff's gone on too long between us. Ever since we broke up 2 years ago you have been up and down, on and off with me, telling me your in love with me, even saying you want me back, then running back to someone else. The stuff is old, and you've done nothing but play with my feelings. I'm not dealing with it anymore, you don't seem to have any respect or regard for my feelings, instead you use them for a safety net incase you need someone to fall back on - it ain't love your showing me. I'm 27 years old, I have goals and dreams and have my stuff together, and frankly I'm too old for this childish stuff. I'm not waiting around on someone who doesn't want to share those dreams with me. I know what I want and who the I am. Just let me get over you, move on and be with someone who does want what I have to offer and who does want to be happy. A person will stop at nothing to be with the one they love, and sweetheart you have stopped. Kenneth P.S. By the way I think you've still got plenty of safety nets, so one that finally wised up and left shouldn't hurt ya. *I think she may be mad cause me and her ex best friend Sylvia are friends as well and still talk, and my ex hates the fact that we talk, but Sylvia told my ex that she likes talking to me and isn't going to stop. I check my ex's myspace sometimes and Sylvia (who doesn't have a computer) asked if my ex was talking to a certain person, and I told her she was. Probably why she made that comment about me reading her stuff in her blog. She also put currently listening to "I hate everything about you" by 3 days grace on that blog (yikes). But on her main page she has a song playing (which is a romantic song) which was and maybe still is my ring tone on her phone. (weird) What do you think about this situation? Part of me really wants revenge and could get it. I just don't understand why she has to be soo mean and why it would upset her so much that I'm friends w/Sylvia. What is wrong with her?

What if someone tries to hack into a myspace account. Will myspace let them know in some way?

So if I do NC her true colors will show? If she wants me back then I will see a change and if she doesn't I won't?

So I decided to cut my ex off without warning because I have been her doormat for 2 years and she can't make up her mind if she wants to be with me or not and it has been like this ever since we broke up 2 years ago. I just want her to make up her mind!!! So I get fed up and start doing strict NC with her. She has started calling the last couple days and I haven't answered any (it's only been 5 days) and today she left me a voicemail wondering why I haven't called her and wondering what she did now, and that she hopes everything is okay, and that she'll talk to me later, or maybe not, and it was in a bitter voice. My ex I guess ran into a mutual friend of ours and the friend told her I was okay, and she didn't tell her much else, so she doesn't think I'm dead (she probably did). Anyways am I being too mean here? Do you think I should write her a reason I stopped talking to her, I'm sure she knows, but maybe not. We have had the doormat talk before and I told her before she leads me on and I feel like a doormat. What would you do in my situation? Should I write her an explanation for why I cut her off? Or just keep doing what I'm doing and ignoring her? *she said she wanted to be with me again 2 weeks ago, then started hem'n and haw'n again and being distant.

I think she may have met someone else, that's why she's being all distant now. Makes me so mad cause she says she was still in love w/me, and wanted me back, just last week!

Yeah, she knows I was.

I have decided I am doing STRICT NC with my ex. She has so much on her plate right now. She lives in a small town where her now ex boyfriend lives, they just broke up a couple weeks ago. She works in a diner and is flirting up a storm with single guys and even going out w/some of them. Believe it or not she had talked about wanting to get back together with me a week and a half ago, saying she loves me, misses me, and wanted to move back here to my city. We have remained somewhat friends since we broke up almost 2 years ago, and i did spurts of NC off and on with her since then. She is being distant now after saying she wanted me back. Grrr... She was very attached to me and in love when we dated and after we broke up. We broke up cause I needed to change in some areas in order to have a more fullfilling relationship, which i did. It was more her decision to break it off. She claimed to still be in love with me after we broke up, and would still tell me she was, and say she missed me. When we would talk about getting back together she would say she was scared it wouldn't work, but she loved how I changed, was still in love w/me, and missed me. Weird. Well I have wanted her to come to her senses and try again, but I'm tired of waiting and being her doormat. She is 22 by the way. So I've decided to completely cut her off, no goodbye or anything and move on. I'm not replying to her texts or answering her calls anymore. She knows how she's led me on. What do you think her reaction will be to this?

If it's a myspace page, can they tell if you've looked at their blog or their myspace page if your not even a member of myspace?

Yeah I like your plan camarojoe. I do feel though that if she does say "the hell with me" if I do cold turkey NC then she really doesn't have feelings for me. I'm just fed up w/her ****. She's been doing this for a long time and I'm always there hoping to get back w/her in the background. I just want to send her a message like "don't **** w me."