69_king

I know!! But real life dating in my town is like what online dating was probably like in the early 90's. Honestly, I have so few pics of myself. The first and third ones were kinda off guard but the other two were like "Hey, let me take a picture of you" and then you have to pose. And if I had pictures of hot girls hanging all over me then I wouldn't be going to an online dating site, would I?? Girls who have pics of guys all over them turn me right off anyway. I wanted to show a few "poor" pictures so I'm not misrepresenting myself. (I still don't think they are poor) People look better in 3D anyway. I was just wondering if there was some glaring problem that I was totally missing.

OK, last week I signed up to an online dating site. At least there, girls can't say "Oh, Im not really looking for a relationship right now" and you can find out a little about them before wasting an entire evening finding out you have nothing in common. Anyway I have one picture attached to my profile that everyone can see. Then I have three more private ones that people can see if I grant them access. So far I have given 3 girls access to the private pictures. And all 3 immediately ceased all communication after I did this. And I know they have been online since. I had exchanged 4 or 5 emails with the first girl when I gave her access and then I have not heard one word from her since. The second girl initiated contact with me and in my first response to her I gave her access. Again, after that, no communication. The third girl I exchanged 1 email with and she was like "Oh, I want to find out more about you!" So I sent her message and a pass to the private pictures and since then: NOTHING! This is my profile picture that everyone can see: image removed And these are the three private pictures: image removed image removed image removed Is it just a coincidence that they stopped talking to me after this or does it have something to do with the pics? Personally I see nothing wrong them, I have no probs with my appearance and anyway it shouldn't be all that important, right?

Problem is it would take me 6 months to line up 4 girls to go out with at the same time but then after 1 week I'd have only 1 girl left anyway!! The problem is this: Girls don't go out with nice guys because they whine about not getting girls. But if girls did go out with them then they wouldn't whine. There was probably some initial nice guy that started this whole cycle because his girl left him for a jerk. So he started whining. This gave other nice guys a bad reputation and that made girls stop going out with them. And so they started whining about not getting girls and so on and so on until every single nice guy whines about not getting girls and no girls will go out with them because they whine. If there was ever a need for a Time Machine, this is it. To go back and stop the initial jerk from stealing the nice guy's girl!

Have you been living under a rock for the last 27 years ??? (Just Joking ) Seriously, breast size is not as big a deal as the media makes it out to be. But if they are big and don't look extremely out of proportion with the rest of your body then that is usually a plus. (If you are skinny and they are big, people will think you've had implants!)

Ok, how do I ignore my feelings?? Do I have to tell myself "Oh, she's just another girl, I don't really care about her yet" Or do I date 3 or 4 girls at once so that I can't develop strong feelings for any one of them? But then I have to make sure she knows I'm still interested at least. AAARGH! When did they teach this stuff? I think I must have missed that class!!

From that description of an NGWFL, I think I have to re-evaluate myself because I am hardly any of that stuff. Ok, well, Hmmm....... I guess then I am a NJWJHMTRGY (non-jerk who just hasn't met the right girl yet) Does that sound negative?? So maybe when I am nice then girls immediately think I am a NGWFL when I am not really.

Hmmm, do "nice girls" have a similar problem??

Its illogical to say that we exist to help others or we exist to love or have pleasure or anyhting that simply impacts other humans. Why does a car exist? To enjoy the feeling of its motor running? To love other cars? No, it exists to aid higher beings, humans. If there is a reason for our existence then that means there is a reason for our creation. Why would someone or something create us simply to love each other? No, if there is a reason then it would be to serve a higher being. Even if we were created simply to bring happiness to each other then that is still not the meaning of life. In that case the meaning of life is that we are simply a piece of artwork or the result of someone's hobby. That would be why we are here. I think people confuse the "meaning of life" with "having meaning to their life" "The Meaning of Life" means "why do we exist?" Saying "I help people to bring meaning into my life" is a completely different issue. Personally I don't believe there is any special meaning to our existence. We are simply the result of Billions of years of chemical reactions. I think the more important (and tougher to answer) question is "Why does the Universe exist?" Anyway, read this: link removed and this: link removed

I'm sure that makes her feel a lot better.

At what point should you stop opening the door for a girl you are dating? This is the stuff that really puzzles me. Like some girls want to be independent and open the door for themselves and if you keep doing it they don't like it. While other girls would expect you to open every door for them. And then some would expect it in certain situations but then not in others?? And they won't tell you and you can't ask. And why the hell would such a small thing be a problem anyway?? Listen, opening doors and paying the bills and all that stuff is just payback for taking care of our children, cooking the meals and giving us sex.

A "nice guy" would be any guy that treats you with decency and honesty and respect. Whatever other qualities he has, as long as he treats you like that then he is a "nice guy". "bad guys" or "jerks" will lie to you, hurt you (physically or emotionally), and use you for whatever they want. BTW, thanks for being the first female to reply to this topic!!

There have been hundreds of posts on this topic on this forum but few women stand up and say its not true. There are a few but most remain quiet. I have the same problem. I simply try to be decent, you know? I'm honest, polite, a gentleman but at the same time I'm adventurous, creative, funny, fun-loving. I basically just try to show the girl a good time. What I don't do is play games, I suppose that is because I am honest and it is a problem to be too honest. And there are situations where I don't want to say something but I can't lie so I say nothing at all. This can be a problem. Also, I like to take things slowly. But the girl leaves me for some other guy who pulled a James Bond and seduced her.

From my perspective, as a guy, I prefer cute over hot. (talking exclusively about physical appearances) Like, there are many women that I would consider hot but I don't find particularily attractive. While there are very few really cute girls that I don't find attractive. (and there are some that are both cute and hot!!) but the preference differs from person to person. And it may be different for girls than guys.

OK girls, think about it this way, simply reverse the situation 180 degrees. If a guy that you had met and liked made it seem to you that he was not interested and didn't bother to call you back, how would you feel? Lets say you and I just had a first date, just a drink or something, nothing serious. You have really started to like me and you feel that I like you too. And we even exchange phone numbers. You are feeling really great about the whole thing. But then, at the end of the date, we part and I say "Thanks" or something but make no mention of going out again. I don't kiss you or anything, I just leave. Then I don't call again, you are sitting at home waiting for the phone to ring and every time it does your heart rate doubles but its never me calling. Finally you decide to phone me and I am a little cool, I'm too busy to go out again, but I say that I will phone back 'sometime'. Ok, how do you feel now? Its obvious I am not interested so you feel sad but decide that I am not worth it anyway and so you try to just forget about me. BUT, all the time I really liked you and I really wanted to go out with you again! I was just playing "Hard to get" so that you wouldn't think I was desperate and I hoped this would increase your interest in me. NOW do you see how RIDICULOUS this sounds??????? This is the cr@p we guys have to put up with!!! OK, I suppose there are lots of guys that like that stuff. But there are also a lot, like me, who don't want that stuff. I'm looking for a long-term relationship, this means finding someone who is REALLY interested in me. If a girl is REALLY interested then she won't play "hard to get". If a girl plays "hard to get" with me then it means that she is not REALLY interested in me. And I will not waste one second of my time with someone like that.

well said, corvidae! Women, for the most part, expect men to do most of the work in dating. Its just a tradition that has been ingrained in them. Although, one thing that does bug me is when a girl actually does make a move on me, even something simple like smiling or just being a little extra friendly, but then when I try to do the same thing or ask them out or something they say no and suddenly drop me. I thought this was something to do with me personally but I've analyzed what I've said and how I've said it and it could in no way be a turnoff. I think they suddenly try to play hard to get or something at that point. Well, I don't play that game! Men are people too! We are not unemotional robots that just go around looking for sex all the time. Another double standard is how it is perfectly acceptable for a women to say that she is looking for someone with a solid financial future. Like it is their right and they will settle for nothing less. Those are the kind of women to stay away from.

Ya, this happened to me last week. I was dating a girl and apparently she was seeing soemone else at the same time. Anyway, I was taking things a little slow because she seemed kind of shy. Then she phoned me up and said she didn't want to see me anymore because she just become "more than friends" with another guy. I know exactly what happened. He found out about me and so he pulled a James Bond, seduced her and turned her to his side! I was starting to lose interest in her anyway so it was kind of a lucky escape for me. But the point is the guy's a jerk!!

When I was in High School I had shorter hair than everyone else but when I went to University I found I had longer hair than everyone else, even though my hair length hadn't changed.

The Vulva is that whole area between your legs, including the Labia (lips), Vagina (just the actual hole) and Clitoris. (and a few other parts too, I guess) Its just the entire thing, OK?

my favourite is "orgasming"

ROFLMAO No, its not masturbation!

it took me couple of minutes but I think I've figured out your chocolate thing. um yeah, well, thats not really my style. well, anyway, there is no way I am calling her back and if she calls me back I will just be cold. I know it was only 4 dates but if someone doesn't like me enough after 4 dates then thats a good sign to bring it to an end. So I'm not bothered at all really!

LOL thanks for giving me a laugh! (raising my wineglass) Here's a toast to eNotAlone.com =D>

You must have misunderstood me! I'm draining it down my throat thanks, I think what really hurt was the timing, I was having a bad day at work and the only way I got through it was thinking about tonight. Now I have to go to work again tomorrow feeling bad already. If I was dating someone else at the same time I'd be perfectly fine, but I'm not. I guess I don't really mind that she had another guy, its just the way that it happened, like at christmas and everything. Its just bad luck (which is the only kind I have ) I know it was probably hard for her to tell me that. Although, shes having fun right now with some other guy and I'm twiddling my wang in front of the computer. ](*,) (whoops, sorry ) Oh well, no big problem, it just feels good to get this off my chest.

Ok, I met this girl about 1 month ago and I asked her out the following week. She was happy and enthusiastic when I asked her out. We've been out 4 times since then and everytime I asked her she said yes and there were no problems and we had a good time. Anyway, we had a date set for tonight. I was going to go over to her place and we were going to make dinner together. Like, pick a recipe, go to the store and get the ingredients and then go back to her place and make it together. I was really looking forward to this evening. She was going to call me around 5 when she finished work and then I was going to go over there, well she did call at 5 but only to tell me that she didn't want me to go over to her place because she had another friend and they had just recently become "more than friends". This was just as I had finished getting cleaned up and dressed to go to meet her. Well, right now I'm draining the bottle of wine I had bought for tonight and wondering what to do with the Christmas present I bought her yesterday. What really hurts is that she is the first girl I have dated in 4 years and I thought she is kind of shy so this just shocked me. Well, at least I know that it's her loss, not mine!! I don't like to boast but I'm a nice, intelligent, charming guy. I have a degree in mathematics and I'm a 9.6 on hotornot (ok, its a flattering photo, but still ) There's plenty other girls out there, but that doesn't stop the hurting right now. What I'm saying is don't lead a guy like this, if there is someone else then tell me!! please!!

My girlfriend would probably be a little embarrassed to hear my call her that, she's quite shy, but I'm sure that underneath she would like it. Anyway, she's a girl and she's my friend, so "girl-friend", what other term is there to use?? Also, it just feels good to say "my girlfriend" as I haven't been able to say that in a long time