poorlittlefish

Asking questions and having the other person reply without asking anything back soon gets very boring. Someone who wants to talk only about themselves and not find anything out about the person they're supposedly interested in is the main reason I stop replying. Look at the profile, find something you have in common or you know little about, introduce yourself and ask about it. Never send initial messages that say, "Hey!" or "Hi, gorgeous" - no effort gets no reply. If the person continues to respond in a way that shows interest, then don't leave it too long to suggest meeting in person. Again, I get tired of endless messaging that never actually leads to a date.

Nothing. He's entitled to his opinion and there are a lot of men who'd agree with him. If this story is true, then I'd start wondering why you have such a need for attention and re-think how your choices affect others. Be single rather than trying to make your partner(s) feel comfortable with your behaviour.

If I'm understanding you right, it was your turn to cook and you wanted to make what you fancied, but he didn't. The compromise was that he'd be OK with it if you included sausages and dumplings (which sounds like a completely separate meal to me). You "forgot" the sausages and couldn't be bothered with the dumplings. I can see why your partner was annoyed, but his reaction was inappropriate for the situation. If he wants something different to what you fancy having, then he should make his own meal, but it should be your turn to cook something you both like the following night.

I don't know that many women would be comfortable to hear that their boyfriend is spending a lot of time alone with another woman. Telling you that he compliments her and thinks she's perfect is downright rude and hurtful. If he won't tell you anything about her and presumably there have been no opportunities for you to meet this woman, then I'd say he's enjoying a new relationship and keeping you in the background for when he returns home. Your boyfriend is being disrespectful so no, you are not being insecure. You need to have a serious talk with him.

You seem to be quite fixated on this. What does it matter what other people do? Why keep comparing this woman against others who have sex with near strangers? She doesn't want to do that and it's just as acceptable. It was 6 dates before anything happened with my ex and I thought it nice that he wanted to get to know me before jumping into bed. Five dates over a period of a few months hasn't helped. If you were seeing each other more regularly, you'd be further along into your relationship.

Saying he wants to stop something he's been doing his whole life (a slight exaggeration, one would hope, as he's only 20) and actually stopping are likely to be two different things. Stopping something you've been used to doing for a very long time - and something you do when nobody is looking - is going to be extremely difficult and unlikely to happen. If you are not comfortable with the idea of him continuing behind your back (or with his criminal conduct towards unsuspecting women), then run.

I agree. Having done a lot of online dating, many men have told me that a lot of women were only interested in how tall they were and how well off they were. They can't all have been lying? It's a bit like how all men are supposedly only after sex. To me, what your boyfriend has said is based on stereotypes, rather than being outright sexist. Comments like his would annoy me and I would have to either challenge their validity or ask that he keep them to himself. If they're a deal breaker for you, then that's fair enough.

No, this is mental. You are not responsible for the health of strangers running past, the same that they are not responsible for you. Everything in life involves risk. There is literally no point being alive if you are going to destroy all the enjoyment of it. Almost everyone who gets Covid survives and is just fine. Those who want to be vaccinated and mask up can do those things, but most will still recover just fine anyway - check the statistics. If you look around you, you will see that the vast majority of people are living their lives as normally as possible. The fact that you are not choosing to do that is the issue, not everyone else.

No, you don't have to alert them. You can take responsibility for your own behaviour and beliefs, but you have no right to force them on others. Most people are living their lives as normally as possible. You are spoiling your own lives and those of your children by keeping up such obsessive measures.

I wouldn't like any of this. He's been dating you and saying all the right things to keep you interested, but went away to spend a week with another woman. He posted about it publicly, but unsurprisingly you got to find out and didn't like it. Who would? Don't be chasing after this guy. It's obviously he doesn't share your feelings and his actions are giving you a deliberate message. Second-guessing yourself or apologising make you appear easier to manipulate. Forget him and find someone whose words and actions match.

These are all choices. He's doing the things that HE wants to do, while avoiding or making excuses not to do all the things he doesn't fancy much. My ex-partner had ASD and I think you've fallen into the same trap I did, by taking on too much responsibility for him and allowing him to avoid responsibility. The more you do this, the more he will continue. Don't book the appointment for him - you're not his mother. Tell him very clearly that you will not continue in the relationship if he does nothing to improve his situation and make sure he is aware what will happen if he makes the choice not to do anything. If he chooses to ignore you, then you MUST follow through. For me, it was only by setting boundaries on what I would tolerate and following through with consequences that made him sit up and realise that it was not acceptable to behave as he did.

It's not that you were forced into this situation and have no choice or free will about it. If this guy was good for you (despite being married), then you wouldn't be posting online about all the things that are making you unhappy. If you were with a decent, genuine guy, you'd be getting treated a lot better. This *** is feeding you crumbs and at some point I hope you start realising you are worth more than that.

If this guy is asking for your number at a traffic light then I imagine he's doing it all over the place. That's not the sort of person I'd trust. He's purely going by looks and knows absolutely nothing about you. Rather than asking for your number, he could have given you his and left it for you to decide if you wanted to respond.

This guy needs to be in jail. It is not enough just to leave him because someone like this will do the same to others. His behaviour isn't just abusive, it's criminal (at least it is in my country). Arrange to go to a friend or family member's house when he is not in and call the police. Get a restraining order or whatever they're called in your part of the world. They will be able to put you in touch with victim support groups, women's shelters etc.

Yes, but it's literally what they are paid to do and what they have chosen to do as a career. They will have heard just about anything and everything. You think you're effed up, but isn't that the reason why most people end up in therapy? Therapists are used to helping effed up people, so don't use that as an excuse. My problems have been with body image and I was horrified to be assigned a male therapist, but he was able to give me a different perspective. It actually made a positive change to speak with someone whose world view was different to mine, simply because they are the opposite sex. The longer you spent time on here, complaining about your problems but not accepting any of the advice or doing anything to address them, the longer you will remain unhappy. You are in a vicious circle that you can break free from only by getting professional help.

I've had experience of a partner wanting to know all the details of my past. I told him and it was then held over me, like a bat to hit me with every time we had a row. This guy you've yet to meet could be controlling, aggressive or jealous. Asking you to get tested for STIs indicates he expects to have sex with you on your brief visit. My suggestion mirrors what others have basically said: DON'T!

It wasn't some random work colleague or distant relative who was getting married, it was her SISTER. She had every right to attend and it probably served as a much-needed break from all the emotional stress she is under the rest of the time. You are judging her way too harshly.

Maybe he suggested the event with his friends because you'd had to say no to meeting during the week and he wanted to see you, but not miss the event. If the event is something you're interested in, then it keeps the date quite casual and not near his bedroom. The stuff about the sex toys, though? Each to his own, but that would have put me right off and there would be no second date.

It's for you to decide where lines are crossed when it comes to your morals and personal beliefs. Personally I have dated guys who eat meat, but have drawn the line with anyone who chooses to hunt or fish. You need to make the choice that you feel comfortable with.

Gift or not, I hope you got these "naughty" posters and photos back from him. The last thing you want is for them to end up being shared with strangers in person or over the internet. In my younger days I had a book of photos made up and they weren't taken by an ex, but a semi-professional photographer who was the father of someone I knew. I was proud of how good I looked in the photos and showed the book to my now-ex. His first question was who took the photos and even though it wasn't someone I'd ever been intimate with, he still was really unhappy. I don't think many guys enjoy the thought of their partner being seen like that by another man, period.

When was the last time he initiated any of the contact between you? You can definitely start calling him, but if he doesn't like texting then that option has been open to him all along and he's not used it either. I suspect that if you call him he'll still be too "active" on his phone to stop what he's doing and make you his priority. Haven't you wondered who he's active with when it's not you, his girlfriend?

A few months back I briefly dated a guy who was tall and attractive. According your way of thinking that should be all that's required for a successful relationship. The guy was unbelievably negative. He sucked the joy out of every conversation, so I ended it. You are carrying the same attitude and are self-sabotaging your chances. You seem to want to wallow in misery rather than do anything about it. I think we're wasting our time trying to help.

You are consciously or subconsciously seeking out evidence to support your belief, while disregarding everything that contradicts it. If you're walking down a busy street and only looking for what you perceive to be handsome guys with girlfriends, that's not a fair analysis. If you look at literally everyone you will see short guys, fat guys, plain guys, downright ugly guys etc and many of them will have wives and girlfriends "despite" what you think are shortcomings. They probably consider themselves very differently to the way you consider them and the way you consider yourself. Do the partners of all these non-handsome guys look like supermodels? Of course not, yet they are happy together. Please get some help to reduce your biased ways of thinking as this will help your overall outlook.

You know how women are regarded in Saudi Arabia, right? It's not only distance but culture that isn't compatible here. This man believes he can behave however he likes and that you are not allowed a voice. You've mentioned visiting him but he hasn't visited you. It will continue to be you making all the effort while he carries on like a single guy. Get rid of him and date someone local who will give you equal time and respect.

I wonder if something happened during that night out that he feels bad about. Regardless, do you really want a boyfriend or a friend who can treat you like that and offer no apology or explanation? Maybe work on your self worth if you think a relationship with such a person is good for you.