poorlittlefish

So just because your wife apparently can't experience an orgasm with you, that's enough for you to consider having an affair or getting divorced? If you're not allowed to touch her, why isn't she touching herself? Most women need clitoral stimulation from fingers if they're to reach orgasm during sex and after 20 years she shouldn't be embarrassed to do that. Equating her inability to orgasm with a lack of love for you is ridiculous. She shouldn't "have" to orgasm just to satisfy your ego. I think there's something else at the root of your dissatisfaction with the marriage and you're focusing on this instead of where the real problem lies.

Having been on the receiving end of someone with serious anxiety problems, I can only tell you that it's exhausting. Having to walk on eggshells, avoid saying or doing normal things or being forced to think ahead about what may or may not set them off is no fun. You are the one with anxiety, but you are dragging him into your problems and that's not fair on him. The onus is on you to handle triggering situations, not for him to have to constantly restrict his life or adapt his behaviour to suit you. You definitely should not be telling your boyfriend what he is and isn't allowed to do. You can decide between yourselves how you will respond (not react) in situations that upset you. For instance, you can say that if you feel triggered you will tell him so straight away and you will leave the situation, then call/text him once you feel sufficiently calm to carry on with your shared day. My ex-partner's anxiety got a little better when he went on medication (and my brother says medication has helped him enormously), so you should consider speaking to your doctor about this and other ways in which you (not your boyfriend) can manage your anxiety. Your doctor may well suggest that you would benefit from a course of CBT or other talking therapy, but you can also help yourself as there are some excellent CBT books about social anxiety.

Your boyfriend doesn't have trust issues. You have issues in rating him against other guys and continuing a friendship with someone you not only admit is hot, but know full well wants to be more than friends (you mentioned his staring and boners). The problem here is your inappropriate and disrespectful behaviour. You may see yourself as a 10, but if you were to be evaluate on conduct rather than looks, you'd be a lot less.

I've held hands with and had a goodbye peck with someone I wasn't into, out of politeness. He hadn't done anything wrong, but there was no chemistry and I didn't want the awkwardness (or possible bad reaction) from saying no to him. Once I was home and safe, I was able to let him know I wasn't up for meeting again. I imagine something similar was going on for you.

Your husband might still be in the marriage in body, but definitely not in spirit. His head is already out of the door and he's trying to kid you into signing away your rights. It's not like you've only been married for 5 minutes and there are 3 children involved - you're entitled to your fair share and he knows it. What your husband is trying to do is greedy and manipulative. Tell him you need time to think about it if you must, but appoint a lawyer asap.

Chalk this up to experience and resolve to never again spend money on someone you've never met. He's only interested in you when you're on the other end of a device. The first opportunity you had to meet and he bailed - that should tell you everything you need to know.

I can understand you feeling shocked and hurt by seeing a photo of him and the woman he chose over you in the paper, but her age is irrelevant. Lots of men date women with that kind of age gap and nobody bats an eyelid, so why should it be any different for a man dating an older woman? Attraction is subjective and just because you find her disgusting, doesn't mean everyone else does. For many people, attraction comes from personality, not just looks. You've given a number of ways in which he was wrong for you, so just be glad you're out of it - he's her problem now.

This is what I've done in similar situations: text him and say that as no firm arrangements have been made for Sunday you've now got other plans for that day and STICK TO IT. Even if you're doing absolutely nothing on Sunday, he doesn't need to know. If you're still interested in meeting this guy, then follow up with a suggestion for where and when you can meet instead. This gives the message that you won't accept being messed about and offers him the opportunity to fix an alternative. If nothing comes of that, he can jog on.

You know there are women you can go to who will guarantee you "shoot your shot" for a fee, right? Maybe these women are picking up on the fact you're just after a free shag and are put off by the thought of being used as commodities.

While I can never condone violence, I guess your husband/boyfriend got to the point where he snapped. It must be very difficult to stand by and watch you getting abused and then slapped by your own father, right in front of him. Your husband/boyfriend, although just as in the wrong, defended you from further assault. I hope he's never been violent to you? As both your parents seem to treat you awfully, I'd not have anything further to do with them.

You love this woman after being with her for 2 months, but it's obvious she doesn't share your feelings otherwise she wouldn't behave like this and have the cheek to throw it in your face. Whatever she's saying to your face, she's likely doing worse behind your back. Regain your self-respect and tell her she's free to be with whomever she wishes, but it's not going to be you.

You've been with this much older man for 9 years but you've never had sex with him and you think he's going to want to be your teacher, despite you having had previous sexual relationships? This sounds bizarre to me. You don't appear to have got married yet, so you do have the choice to get out of it. If you've realised it would be a big mistake, now is the time to say so, otherwise your current unhappiness will get a whole lot worse.

You're focusing exclusively on what you can't do. As another poster has mentioned, you have good spelling and grammar, so your learning abilities in that respect shouldn't be holding you back. If you go around thinking of yourself as a loser and projecting constant negativity, it puts people off and you have a self-fulfilling prophecy. I stopped dating a guy recently for that very reason. Take positive steps to improve aspects of your life, look into groups etc that might be available, even if only online. Get a book or two on CBT from the library to help you appreciate your good qualities and stop focusing exclusively on what's "wrong" with you.

Why on earth did you not acknowledge the photos she sent you? She was trying to get something going and was hoping for a positive reaction, so probably felt really embarrassed and ashamed when she got radio silence. I agree that you two are just not compatible, but I can see why that would have upset her.

At 2 months in he should still be on his best behaviour and keen on making a good impression. If he is acting this flaky now, it's a sign of how he really is. Do you want to keep getting cancelled in favour of something or someone supposedly more important? Things happen, sure, but if he's cancelled then it's on him to arrange the next date and stick to it. He didn't do that - it says a lot.

Trying to be the "cool girlfriend" when someone is being so blatantly disrespectful isn't cool at all. Why should your feelings be trodden on so he can spend nights out with another woman? You need to tell him that what he's doing is not something you are willing to tolerate. If he chooses to continue going out without you, that's his decision and yours will be to be done with him.

Maybe it's just me, but whenever I've received a call while I've been with a partner I'd get off the phone and say, "Sorry, that was my friend Rob" or whatever. To me that's just being polite for having taken a call when in someone's company. If he has nothing to hide, there should be no reason to get angry about the question you asked, unless you are policing him about everyone in his life and he's getting fed up of trying to placate you - which doesn't sound likely. The fact he doesn't consider himself in a relationship with you suggests he's messing around with others.

One date does not make him an ex. Block him from everything and don't waste time pondering about the behaviour of someone you don't actually know.

Are you involved with any ASD groups? If not, it would be worth exploring as they would help with your social skills and you may meet someone nice there. My previous partner had ASD and I met him via Plenty of Fish, so it's not impossible. As for getting rejected, on paper I have a lot going for me, but OLD still means I'm rejected a lot. It's sadly normal for pretty much everyone who does it.

None of what you've listed would be classed as abuse in my book. It smacks instead of someone who just doesn't care enough for you or how you feel. A lot of relationships end up like yours did. People behave like that because they know you allow them to. I think they hope that you'll do their dirty work and end things.

Whenever I've made the decision to cut off contact I block and delete their number. It saves all this additional aggro.

If you only recently moved in with him there's a good chance that he's been doing this shady behaviour for ages and you've been completely unaware. If he's the good guy you thought him to be, you should be able to ask that he doesn't close out of his laptop screen just because you've come in the room. If what he's doing isn't inappropriate for someone in a relationship, and if he values you, he will have no problem agreeing to this or you being able to see whatever is on his screen. Somehow I think he will object and if so, you need to ask yourself how much more disrespectful behaviour you are willing to tolerate.

You said all he'd done was feel you up under your clothes. Was he letting you do the same or more? I wonder if he suffers from erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation and is so anxious about it that he's trying to avoid the situation (and thus avoid having to admit it).

I don't understand why you've been with someone for 5 years when you are clearly not compatible.