Missluluz

So I have been dating this guy for a couple of months. In the beginning he was always making time for me, and showed a lot of interest in me and everything however I was always the one to initiate communicating but he would always plan to see me etc. Then he started acting a bit different, like I wasn’t a priority and kinda like he wanted ME to chase HIM. I’m always putting in most of the effort communication wise. He would tell me he would want to hangout on certain days and then I wouldn’t hear from him on that day until after he would tell me that he was actually busy and he’s sorry. I know for a fact that he does have a lot going on and he is a busy person that has a lot on his plate responsibility wise so I never took it to heart, life happens and at least he was trying to make time. We went a few weeks without seeing each other or talking much, but he ended up asking me to hangout and we did finally, when we hangout he is so loving and attentive, and acts like he really likes me. He told me he has just been very busy and didn’t have much time to spend with me, but he’s going to stop being as busy soon so he will have more time. He mentioned that he felt like I wasn’t communicating enough with him like messaging him enough, which is strange because I’m the one that always initiates everything, he rarely messages first now. I stopped talking to him for awhile because I felt the effort was one sided I wanted him to come to me but then he felt as if I wasn’t into him anymore or forgot about him. Since then I have asked him twice to meet up with me, once he told me he was already hanging out with his friends and couldn’t so I said we can another time. I have tried to make plans with him again and he said that we possibly could meet up as long as his friends don’t want to do something with him that night. I thought that was rude to pretty much say he would ditch me if his friends wanted to do something. I am very confused by his behavior, because he acts like he is for sure interested in me when we are together and talking, but then at times can seem very uninterested in me or almost manipulative? Sometimes I think he acts this way to get me to chase him on purpose. I can’t tell if he is genuinely not as interested in me as he claims to be, or he plays games. I would like another’s perspective.

So I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month now. He had been trying to pursue me for about a year but at the time I was emotionally unavailable trying to heal from a toxic relationship. I finally gave this guy a chance and things were great, and I unexpectedly caught feelings for him. We had been texting everyday, seeing each other multiple times a week, he invited me to a wedding with him in a few months. He says that I am his baby his babe etc. We had spoken about the intention about getting serious however are not officially bf/gf obviously since we have only been seeing each other for a month. I really like this guy, but I think I ruined it but I really didn’t think the situation was that bad. He is a private jet pilot for his profession so he travels a lot. He told me he was going on a vacation to Toronto for the week, my intuition felt like something was off so I asked him why he was going to Toronto and he said to see family and friends. Everything had been good he went on his vacation we were still communicating normally but then he posted a couple pictures and videos and you can tell he was out with another woman. He had just told me the day before that I’m his, so out of jealousy and insecurity I kind of called him out and asked him if he was with another girl…. And all he said about it was “smh🤦🏽‍♂️“ I said I was just kidding and then he said “mhm”. I found out from creeping who he was with and confirmed he spent the week with a girl that lives there. After talking to some friends about it they let me know since we aren’t actually together he didn’t really do anything wrong even though it did really hurt my ego and feelings. Which is true, however in my head it still feels like a betrayal that he was pursuing other women while he was pursuing me. I weirdly want to fix the situation with him and still see him, to work things out because I actually really do like him. This girl lives in another country so I doubt he was pursuing her the same way that he has been with me. So I messaged him a day later and I told him that I was sorry that I was being weird and that I know it wasn’t my place. All he said was “no worries”. Then I told him that I hope I didn’t ruin anything between us because I really like him. He left me on read and ignored me….. then the day after I sent him a meme and he left me on read again. 😔 so obviously now I’m just going to leave him alone and hope he will reach out at some point. I want some input as to why he would be ignoring me now and why he switched completely up on me? Is it because he feels bad? Or does it seem like now he just no longer wants to pursue anything with me? I get that maybe coming to him that way does make me come off as jealous and maybe a little toxic even but I really didn’t think it was THAT bad. I’m just confused as to what I did wrong in this situation or if I should even still be trying to pursue him or what I should do?

He has 3 children he has two daughters with his ex wife he is the one who I have met. They do not coparent she had stopped allowing him visitations, I have never met his daughters but I did meet her. I have been around his 20 month old son who he was with the baby mama that he cheated with, but I had never met or spoken to her the entire time we have been together.

He had knee surgery almost a year ago, so that is why he was unemployed. He had to heal and was doing physical therapy. He moved in within 2 months of us dating. He was living with his mom in a one bedroom apartment

When we met he had been living with his mom at the time in a one bedroom apartment. We had only been dating for a month or so before he moved in. I saw it as me helping him…… things were great. I was under the impression we were serious. I had been around his family, and I did meet his other childrens mother even though they do not coparent I just haven’t met his sons mother but now I know why. I did always ask him why I had never met her and as a mother myself I would think she would want to meet be because I am around her son but he always made an excuse.

We have an apartment I am the only one on the lease. I pay the rent, he has been unemployed up until about a month ago so most of the bills have always been on me. I feel maybe he even only used me for a place to live rent free at this point.

So, I (36F) have been with my boyfriend (27M) for a little over a year now and we live together. Everything has been pretty good up until now, we started having some issues. He has a son who is almost two, who I have been around but when my boyfriend has visitations his son sleeps at his sisters house and doesnt sleep at our apartment. I have never met or spoken to his sons mother even though we've been together for a year and i've been around her son. I found his baby mama finally on social media and his baby mama still has lots of photos of them together all over her social media some even extremely recently posted, I asked him about it he told me those photos and videos were old from the past and he told me he would tell her to delete them because its disrespectful to our relationship. Well, she continues to post things of them together on social media and I got sick of it so I commented and told her to stop. This opened up a giant can of worms. We started going back and forth and she told me that he has been claiming that he has been single this entire time essentially that she had no idea he was even seeing someone or who I am and that he lives alone, that our apartment is essentially only his apartment and that they have been seeing each other on and off this whole entire time still sleeping together. She did say that they were officially "broken up" but that they still say I love you everytime they talk on the phone, they facetime all day even while hes at work, that just the other day they were planning a romantic night for her birthday in a few months, and hes been talking about sleeping over her place and that he is still a father figure to her other child with a different man. She says she feels like he cheated on her with me even though they werent officially back together and she doesnt understand why he didnt tell her about me. From talking to her I learned that she is extremely close with his family, his sister and her have been best friends for 10+ years and talk every single day. She told me that even his mother and sister have been lying to her saying that he is single but yet I see his family all the time. So essentially his family has also been lying to her saying that he is single and lives alone as well. I dont even know how to feel or think. I dont understand how he has been lying to her about being with me and living with me for a year and still seeing her this whole time. I confronted my boyfriend about it after I talked to her and he did admit to everything, that he has been lying to her about me and that he does love her but he wants to be with me he wants to make it right. I want to make this relationship work but considering everything it makes me feel as if our relationship wasn't as serious as I thought I feel like Im my own boyfriends side chick. The baby mama said she is heartbroken but that now she knows about me and him being in a relationship she will respect that we are in a relationship but she honestly had no idea about me. Does anyone think this relationship is worth trying to work out? I feel as if this woman will always be an issue, I dont know how to be able to trust him again and how he pulled this gigantic lie off for a year. I also apparently cant trust his family because they were lying to her too, and knew that he was cheating with her this entire time. I want to know if this relationship is worth trying to save or what I should do about this I am so heartbroken.