Amy_32588

Andrew is the one who I just recently got dumped by. Ben is the one I cheated on, dumped me and now still has the "thing" for me and wants to go back out with me. Sorry... Kinda a confusing topic. I don't think I'm going to do anything. I'm sick of the drama but thank you for the replies you all posted!

Okey dokey. Well, about 5 months ago I was in a relationship with this guy. I liked him a lot, but I also liked this other guy. They both really liked me which was a plus and also a problem. I'm gonna give names out so I don't get confused... So the two guys were Ben and Andrew. So I went out with Ben. I was kinda happy but I was also still flirting with Andrew and well, he didn't know I was going out with Ben. So eventually I had to tell Andrew the truth so he wouldn't find out from someone else than hate me. So I told him and he didn't hate me. Well, I started hanging out with Andrew more than my boyfriend. Which was bad. So Ben heard that I was hanging out with Andrew and dumped me. I wasn't really crushed because I then started going out with Andrew. I still liked Ben a little but then I got over him because I fell in love with Andrew. Well things went great with Andrew but then he lost intrest in me and didn't have time. So that ended and I had a super hard time getting over Andrew, but I was still friends with Ben. Well, we've been talking lately and tonight he tell me he still has a "thing" for me. I don't know how I feel and I don't know what to do. I don't know if going back out with him is desperate and what not. Any suggestions or comments would be fab. Thanks.

Thanks everyone for your honesty and encoragment. I should just forget about it. It's just sometimes I don't know what to do and you all help a TON. More than you'll ever know! Thanks again. And richgabe thank you for putting me in my place

I broke up with this guy about 4 weeks ago. It was a really, REALLY hard break up. I mean one of the hardest. He though about asking me back and I begged to be taken back (pathetic I know). Well, I decided I was over him kinda. By the way, we brok eup because a: He had no time b: He didn't want the break up to be harder later c: He couldn't provide anthing... Well, that was all crap. 2weeks after he had sex with his ex girlfriend. That hurt really bad. Then I find out he broke up with me not because of the resons listed above but because SIMPLY it was because he was young and din't want to be tied down. Well, now he's going out with this other girl. So obviously he lied about not wanting to be tied down. He told all hi friends that I was boring and controlling. I don' tknow what to do. I want to yell at him so bad. and hate him. I don't know if I'm bboring and controlling because I've obviously never been in a relationship with myself... I just don't know what to do or think or say... Please help me. Be so honest it hurts. I don't care. Tell me what to do, or just tell me to shut up and get over myself. Whatever... i just need some honesty rightnow.

Tell her exactly what you posted. Tell her it's been three months and you think you've fallin in love, but you don't wanna scare her. Reassure her that it's fine if she doesn't feel the same way, and you won't freak her out by telling her all the time and you just thought she should know how you felt, and you only want to be honest. She'll most likely respect that... Girls like honesty... I guess good luck!

I say, she may be pretty but forget her. This is the kinda girl that likes to play games. You can be open to going out with her if she wants you but try for other girls... Girls that won't play games. Then again, she could have not relized you were flirting with her and non-intentially led you on. But I wouldn't worry about it. You're young and in your prime. Find other (prettier) girls!

Or instead of being a jerk about it computer guy, you could just say, those could be some ways but what I've found.... She asked for signs buddy... So I did my best and gave her some tips, don't be a*s hole.

Ok well, here are some general tests to see if he's gay: 1. He loves Cher and/or any other popular female artist ex, Celien Dion, Whiney Houston, etc 2. He knows the difference between silk and satin. 3. He can name the brand of your shoes, bag, and clothes just by looking at you in them. 4. He kisses guys (thanks Johnagent...) 5. He checks out other men. 6. He's very meticulous about his clothes (not a surefire way to tell but still...) 7. They way he talks (SOMETIMES) Hope I helped -Amy

I go through the exact same thing... I'll get upset and mad and be all depressed and down... I make the people I love most upset and there's really nothing I can do. I havn't been diagnosed or anything but I'm always struggling with it. Somethings that I've done to help are I write in a journal. It helps me get a lot of my feelings out and be able to share stuff... I also exsercise. It lets steam out and I always feel better after. Do things for yourself and you tend to be more content with your surroundings (and less in the dumps...) Hope I helped! -Amy

Ok so I was having a really hard time accepting the fact that my relationship was over. It was a really, really hard break up... And I kept telling myself, if he wants me back I'll take him back. But after some stuff he did, I decided I wouldn't take him back and I didn't have feelings for him anymore. But EVERY single day and night, I keep thinking about him, and this one thing he did a couple days ago with one of his ex girl friend at a party about 4 times... I think you all can fill in the blank... BUT I'm always thinking about it and him... I don't wanna feel anything for him anymore and I keep telling myself that I don't, but don't know... I always have this nervous feeling in my stomach whenever I think about him... Which is basically all the time. I don't think I'd take him back if he asked me though cause I don't wanna go through another break up and I don't wanna feel like I do anymore. Does anyone have any advice for me?! Comments, advice, lectures... Anything would be helpful. Thanks

Well, I had the same thing happen in my last realtionship. I trusted him, but I was always worried he was cheating on me... So, I did what I thought was best was I had a talk with him about how I was feeling. He said he was not cheating, he had no time to cheat. Which turned out to be true... But I was still crazy jealous of EVERYONE. Mostly girls though... I think when I started feeling this way the realtionship started falling apart. I wasn't happy and he could tell. There wasn't a strong trust... So he dumped me. It was hard and it still is because I hear all thing thing that he's doing now... But I won't get into that. If I were you, I would take a look at the realtionship and ask yourself are you really happy being this jealous and worried? I'm not saying break up with him, but maybe talk to him and see where things are and stuff. Be very careful. I'm cautioning you because you situation sounds exactly like the one I was in just a week before he ended it. I don't want you to get hurt... Hope I helped a little.

Well, if I were in your situation... I guess, I would keep an open mind. Move on, flirt with other guys, have fun. Test the waters I guess would be a good way to put it... You're young and there are thousands of guys out there. Don't JUST have eyes for this ONE guy! Because you might past up an opportunity to be with someone TEN times better... Think of some way you could let this guy you like know that you still have feelings for him, then stop worrying about it! If he wants to pursue it, he will. Even if he's shy... If he likes you enough, it'll happen. Oh, and about the shyness issue and letting guys know how you feel about them... Don't even wory about it! Guys are really not thinking about that kind of stuff... I They'll probably be thinking, cool. A girl digs me and that's it. If they like you back, they'll go for it cause they know you like them. You really only live once... Why not go for the things you really want??? Who cares what people think??? Good luck... ~Amy~

I say, go for it. You only live once and if you ignore your feelings you'll always be thinking about what could have happened.

OK, now this may just be stupid of me to try and give you advice... Me being so young and all, but I feel like sharing my opinion. Please don't over analyze!!! It makes life stressful and unhappy! If you don't wanna be in a same sex relationship again then don't! It's as easy as pie! If you want a girlfriend and to loose your virginity... Go to where singles hang out, join a dating service! Let fate take over and when the time is right it will! And you will be happy! There's a someone for everyone! And for you it could be a male or female... Just give it time and the answers will come.

It may seem like this totally sucks that he hasn't called but really... If you think about it.... It's a really great thing he hasn't called. You're probably a great girl, and if he got your number and didn't call, he was probably gonna turn out to be a jerk anyways in the end. Think about it! If he told his friends he liked you, then it ended up he liked someone else... That to me sounds like the kinda guy that cheats on his girlfriend. It was fate that he didn't call. And a good fate at that! There are soooo many other guys that are much better than that! Do whatever you want to do, it's not my life... But I would NOT call him! That would be a HUGE ego boost. He'll be thinking, "Gosh, I'm popular... All these girls want me..." Don't let it get to you... You're better than that!!!! 8)

Ok... I don't know if anyone could help me but I'd really appreciate and advice and what not... _____________________________________________________________ I'll start from the beginning, but I'll make it as brief as I possibly can. I had this HUGE crush on this guy in one of my classes at school. I'd always look at him he'd look at me... That whole thing. I always just thought I was a loser and I was just staring at him. But I had a huge crush and didn't even know his name. Well, the next year rolled around and I had basically forgotten about him till I saw him again. I found out his name and still had a crush but it was one of those crushes that you know will never happen... Well, the short and short of it is later that year I talked to him and we totally hit it off. We started talking more and I had found out he had (or still did) have a crush on me! Well, I had a boyfriend at the time I wasn't happy with so I dump the boyfriend and went out with my NEW crush! It was fabby... So we went out for a month and things were heaven! I got along with his family perfectly and his with mine. We were SO happy I couldn't even explain it. We could talk and have fun, and then kissing and making out were the best. I had explained to him before we were an "item" that I was not planning on having sex with him and if that was going to be an issue later he should just stop pursuing me. Well, things were great. Then he dropped a bombshell, he had no time for me because he was working and he need time for his friends... ETC. I was crushed. I suggested a "break" but that eventually turned into a break up because he wasn't happy. This was 2 weeks ago. Almost a week before our 3 months together... A day or so went by and he had suggested we talk. So I though ok, maybe we'll get back together. NOT. He just wanted to explain more of why he wasn't happy. He assured me he still had a huge crush on me and missed me terribly but couldn't continue anymore because he didn't want a harder break up later. I cried and begged for it not to end, but it did. We said we'd be friends. So day would go by then I would make an excuse to see him... Then he'd make an excuse to see me... And everytime we saw each other we'd talk about our break up. It was awful... I'd cry everyday, and tear myself apart. Well, I didn't see him for awhile and then made up another excuse to go see him. Well, we talked and he explained he was afraid of felling more and being attached to me. He just wanted a relationship were there was no attachment or commitment, and he wished that he could be that way with me but he just feels too much.... So I asked the "fated" question, "Is there any chance of us getting back together?" And he said no but looked completely sick when he said it. So I left, upset... Surprise, surprise... Well, two days passed and there was I party. I didn't go because I felt sick and the next day heard he had "done it" with an ex girlfriend of his, about 4 times. It really upset me, but I realized there was nothing I could do because, he dumped me and even though I still felt so much for him, I wasn't his girlfriend. I'm so confused and I've asked all my friends, and they are convinced that when school starts up again, he'll relize what he's lost and how happy I made him then ask me back. I'm so sick of feeling the way I do. Not knowing... I don't have hope in anything, and I don't know what to do or think or feel. I just need some advice, or convincing. I know I should get over it, but somehow it just seems more complex. SOS Help...