matt11b5

I totally know what your going through. My girlfriend spent her entire winter break from school here with me and had to leave the other day. I'm going stir crazy and missing her pretty bad. The good thing is she'll be back in May after she graduates. I dont know how far you are from your LDB I'm only 2 hours from mine but both of us being poor college kids we cant exactly see eachother every weekend. Anyway summer isnt that far away for you and the end of the school year isnt that far for me. The best thing for us to do is to keep busy and living our lives and talk as much as possible to our partner. LDR can make a relationship stronger and help us appreciate what we have.

Ladies, I am currently trying to seek out the best approach at breaking the ice with females at bars, clubs, or anywhere for that matter. I've never used one liners and wondered how well they actually work. Maybe even a little advice on the best approach in your idea or one you have experienced. I'm just sick of doing the average go up to a girl get her name ask her what she does then buy her a drink. I'm sure girls are sick of the same boring approach also. maybe a little advice for the fellas. Thanx ladies. Matt

I know what you mean I've met alot of girls with the same problems. What I have learned is that alot more girls than what you think have been abused in that way or another. Very sad thing. But be prepared bud, if it doesn't work out with this girl I gurantee your going to meet another one. Be patient with them, show them they can trust you, thats just what any girl needs. It will all work out trust me. Its good to take an interest and have them talk about it and get it all out of the way and in the open. But keep a sharp eye some girls use it as an excuse sometimes. Just be patient to the ones you care about and let the ones you cant be patient with go. Good luck bud. Matt

Hey guys, I posted the message earlier about how I didnt like this girl at first and didnt act like my normal self to kind of push her away, and then ended up liking her in the process of acting like an idiot. Well I've been trying to call her and shes not returning my calls. I just want to explain myself and why. I was only seeing her for like 2 weeks so its not like I'm going to be heart broken if I never see her again but shes a really nice girl and I don't want to give up. I remember her saying something about how guys never do romantic things for her and shes not sure if she likes that type of stuff. So I decided I'm gonna get her attention. she works at a daycare and and takes care of like 25 kids. So I called a floral shop and had 25 balloons and a white rose delivered. I had a card attatched saying "I just want to apologise about something, please call me. I hope the kids enjoy the balloons". I'm hoping it gets her attention all I want to do is explain myself and ask for a second chance so I can act like my normal self. I'm kind of worried she thinks I'm crazy and psycho or something. But then again I really don't care. If shes never had a guy do anything really romantic for her then that makes me the first and she wont forget that. I had them sent to her this morning and I'm still waiting for her to call. This will definitely be my last attempt. Thanx for reading.

Its possible he could have lost interest from the date or it could be what the other two people posted here also. But I agree you definitely need to call. Your young this wont be the first time this stuff happens. The worst that could happen is it will be obvious hes just not interested anymore, or you'll have a date to the dance. Go for it.

In a nut shell. I have this girl in Florida who whenever we get a chance which is never very often try to visit one another. I'm going to see her on Thursday and it will probably be the last time for a very long time since shes going so far away. We've always had a thing for eachother and if it werent for distance would definitely be dating now. Anyway I'm dating around but decided to stop until I went to see this girl. Two weeks ago a met a nice girl that I was kind of interested in and would have got her number no questions asked. But with the visit coming up I decided no I'll probably see her again at the same bar and get it then. My buddy was trying to talk to me into asking her and finally I decided it wont her so I got her number. The only problem was I had a few drinks and I promised to take her out after she gave me her number. The next day I was very mad at myself but being a man of my word I took her out. The date went ok but I didnt put my all into it and I wasn't really interested but I thought she was pretty cool. A few days later I hung out with her at her house and same thing I didnt really try and then we went on another date to the movies and again I was kind of pushing her away. Why I kept going out with her I dont know. So then shes calls me up last Saturday and asks me to go to a wedding with her so she doesnt have to alone. Trying to be nice I said yes. So we went and she looked absolutely beautiful. We talked all through the reception and she doesnt really like to dance but I made her anyway and then the unexpected happened. I cycled through my head and thought about how much time ive been spending with her and realized I like her. I got a little drunk at the reception and didnt act like an impressive date. I felt pretty bad about the whole thing and still do. I've been lying to her and telling her I'm going to Florida to see my friends and nothing about the this girl. The big problem now though is since the reception and me not being a very impressive date she hasnt called since. I called her and she told me she would call back and didnt. I just left a message today and it looks as though I'm being rejected. All I really want to do is explain myself and ask her if maybe we could start over. I know she was interested at first it was obvious but I can tell I definitely lblew it and that was the point. I dont know what to do. I cant believe I like her now how does that work? I almost just want to go to her house and make her listen but I dont want to look like a psycho or be to aggressive with trying to reach her. Maybe I should just cut my losses, but I really dont want to give up on this. I'm actually very surprised she just stopped calling me. What should I do without crossing the line and how much calling is to much. I only called her once when she said she would call me back. Thank you for reading this.

I've been talking to this girl for 2 weeks and we've been on 4 dates. I'm noticing that I'm really starting to like this girl and I'm getting signals that she likes me to. Usually I'm pretty good about making first moves and stuff but with this one I'm really nervous. I'm dying to kiss her but I just cant get myself to do it. I've never been like this. I kiss her on the cheek but I'm almost certain shes waiting for a bigger kiss. I've never been one to move to fast, but I'm usually alot more bold. My buddies have told me the ones you really like are the ones that are hard to read. I'm wondering if by not moving further it will help me or it will hurt me. Maybe even a tip on how to just let the big kiss fly. Help!!!!! Matt

He's holding on to you in case he doesnt find anything better. The guy is a jerk if you ask me and hes scared to death. Your allowing him to maintain total control over you and take advantage of you. What your basically doing is making everything easier on him while its getting harder for you because your waiting for a good chapter in this wonderful book to begin. Odds are the outcome of this is, he's going meet another girl and stop talking to you and your going to be hurt even worse than you are now, and if he doesnt find better he knows he can settle for you. You dont deserve that and dont let him control you. The next time he calls you need to tell him your true feelings for him and that you dont want to talk to him anymore. And the next thing you need to do is hold true to your word and dont talk or see him anymore. Then you need to go out and have the time of your life because your young and your single and theres guys out there that are waiting to meet a girl like you. I know this is all hard but trust me it will work. The no contact may help him realise what he had and either send him running back to you or away from you. Dont hope for anything. Just let time decide. You will be just fine. Stay strong. Matt

Friendships dont work after a serious relationship. At least not till long after the break up. Your still in love with him and by talking to him your hoping he brings up the subject of getting back together and you always will until your over him. He obviously cares about you and misses you, but wants his freedom from you. He's basically taking advantage of you, controlling you. Stop making yourself available to him. Theres no reason for contact anymore. Its a sad thing to think about I know it is. You think of all the memories and everything the relationship consisted of and then its gone in an instant. But thats way it has to be. You talking to him is not helping you. Cut off communication till your over him and then maybe you guys can be friends. Even if it means you two may never talk again. You need to think about yourself now. Remember he broke up with you, so theres nothing you have to feel guilty about. No contact may help him realize what you were to him and send him running back to you. But whatever you do dont count on it. Let time decide and let yourself heal. Good luck and take care. Matt

I look at it this way bud. Shes not sure about commitment, you've made resonable attempts to fix things so you can slowly move into a commitment, and shes refusing. Give her her clothes back, and dont see her. That will be the easiest way for her to decide what she wants. Take control of the situation. You know what you want now its time to help her. Stay out of her life. When shes ready she'll call. If she doesnt call then so be it. Go out and be a man whore and have fun. I know its tough and I hate it that people have to go through these things. But if some clothes are whats keeping it held together then its already fell apart. Give her her clothes back and shove on. I hope everything works out for you. Stay strong and know that whatever happens no matter how hard it seems you will be fine. Matt

Hi Everyone. I've been visiting this site since me and my ex-girlfriend broke up in December. It seems my problems were nearly identical to the rest of yours and coming here has really helped quite a bit. Two of my best friends also went through tough breakups like all of ours. Each of us having relationships lasting nearly 5 years. I'm writing this based on what me and my buddys went through and how we handled it. I'm no doctor or expert on relationships, but I made every attempt to get over my tough break up and listened to those that were trying to help. First of all you have to understand that your partner broke up with you because they think they can find something better or that they're missing out on something. It could be a great oppurtunity at a job or something similiar or a better relationship. Odds are they won't tell you they may have found a better lover that they want to try and date, and if they tell you they want to date around that means they feel they're missing out on a potentially better relationship and they want to look and see. People have a tendency to forget what it is they have and always think they can do better or that they're missing out on something. And if you think hard and deep. I'm sure theres times where you being the hurt person that lost someone had those thoughts also at some poing. Sometimes we do find better, but sometimes we dont. But I can gurantee that the person that initiated the break up who is making this big gamble is alot more scared than you are. In getting over this break up you have to just let the person go. I'm sure you have it hanging in the back of your head that your probably going to get back together. Well maybe you will and maybe you won't. But sitting and hoping is self torture. Your not getting back together ever again. You had something great but your partner didnt want it anymore. Its there loss, and I promise they will hit lonely points in there life where they will realize that. Its time to move on and dont look back. Someone else out there is looking for you and eventually you will find them. They may deserve you better than the person that left you. And then you'll be thanking god for unanswered prayers. Do not contact the person at all costs. Me and my buddy Hake did this and were doing really good at this point. My other buddy Smith is still talking to his ex and they visit periodically. Its been 3 months and he's still a wreck. He refuses to let go. So that definitely proved to me that the no contact rule does work. But I'd be lying to you if I told you it was easy. It wasnt easy but I knew I had to do it. I sat in my dining room building model airplanes and cars. They're pretty cool looking to. I kept myself around people by hanging out with friends. I also got a second part time job. One good thing that has came out of this is that I have a nice looking savings account. You have to keep yourself busy. Erase his/her phone number from your cell, don't e-mail, don't send letters. Odds are they won't respond and it will upset you even more. The ball is in there court. Theres nothing you can say thats going to help you get them back. Thats why they broke up with you. If they try to contact you its because they are using you for the comfort and company you provided them with for however long you were together and thats not right. By breaking up with you they surrendered those rights to those things. Allowing them to use you is going to cause serious paine to you and I'll tell you why. When you let them call you and talk to you, your maintaining a bit of a relationship with this person and being there for them where in turn there not really there for you. Your letting everything be on there terms and granting them to much power and control over your life. Your also making it easier for them to get over the break up while your getting worse. Once they find another person to comfort them other than you. You'll be left in the dust and worse off than when you initially broke up. Don't call them and don't take there calls. If it does hit a point that the person who broke up with you is very adimant about starting over. Then you two need to discuss alot of things before you jump right back into it. But the only way they can know what there missing you is by making them miss you. The only way that can happen is by being out of there life completely. But we're not thinking about getting the person back now are we. We're thinking about moving on. Go out with your buddies, go on dates, do the things you couldnt do when you were in that relationship. Enjoy yourself, eventually your going to find someone who will sweep you off your feet again. Hard to imagine though right now I know. Take time and be single. The single life is alot of fun. I admit I turned into a bit of a man whore. But I'm having alot of fun. Just take advantage of life. Its not over. The greates thing happened to me a week ago. Its been 4 months since our break up. And one day last week I realized I had'nt thought about my ex for a couple of days. Thats when I realized that I'm doing well and I'm pretty much over her. I miss my ex and I sometimes wonder how she is and what she's doing. But at the same time it doesnt really seem to matter to me anymore. I never thought I would hit that point but we all do. I still love her and I always will, but I've learned alot about myself and I've met some wonderful girls that blow her out of the water. I just dont want a relationship right now. I've learned to love myself and I'm taking my time before I give that love to someone else. I was able to get this far because I allowed myself and forced myself to. Maybe someday my ex and I will cross paths again and we'll be more in tune with each other due to our change and realize it was meant to be. But time will decide. Take those steps that me and my buddy did. It does work. Stay tough. I hope this helps.