Originally Posted by Whillow
Really not trying to hijack the thread, and I mean this with all due respect (totally not in a Ricky Bobby sort of way!!). What do people mean most of the time by "damaged goods"? If by "damaged" in this instance you mean that someone is in the thick of something and need to work through it, I completely agree that we should focus on healing until we can come at something with diligence and without the distraction of a current wound.

On the other hand, while I'm trying to come at this as unbiased as possible, I feel somewhat defensive about it, probably because I'm damaged; and when I read things like this, it makes me think that because I've lived through hells I wouldn't wish upon anyone, that others feel I'm not worthy to be loved. Even though I've spent a significant amount of time working on myself, going to therapy, trying to learn from past experiences so I don't repeat them, I will never be whole because some things stay with us forever. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy and proud of my victories, wins, accomplishments, and I'm at peace with and love who I am; and I've put myself together as best as possible all while continuing to progress, because there's always room for improvement, but that brings me back to this topic: Being damaged, in my opinion, shouldn't mean unworthy of a healthy relationship.

Am I in the minority on this?
Sounds like your definition of damaged goods doesn't really match how people tend to use this term.

Damaged goods means that right now, in the present this person is in a messy situation and they aren't helping themselves, but rather trying to use dating/relationships as a bandage.

To use the topic of this thread as an example - this girl is damaged goods because she was on/off with her bf, but also seeking to date/cheat/pull another guy into this mess. Using people in an unhealthy way because she is unhealthy, aka damaged goods.

Contrast that to a girl who was in an abusive relationship, but she left it on her own, took time to heal, sort out what attracted her to that dynamic, fix herself so she doesn't go for that again, took time to become stable and happy in her life as an individual and then finally set out to date. This person is not damaged goods. She is in fact healthy and ready to be a good partner to the right person.

What happened in your past doesn't make you damaged goods. It's all about how you deal with it, whether you have dealt with it or not at all. Hope that makes sense.