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Thread: I'm not sure he has healed from his divorce...

  1. #11
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    " He fluctuates between being either angry, or depressed, about his life. He says that everyone is against him and he is suffering. He will be fine one minute, and crying the next."

    This is too much.

  2. #12
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    She is not responsible for his unstable behavior. This type of thinking puts people in guilt and fixing modes as if she owes him something. She doesn't have to kiss or fix anyone.
    That's true. But she is responsible for her behaviour and turning her cheek is passive aggressive. If she's not into the relationship, she is free to leave. There's no need to cause more issues or be a part of something that's not right for her.

  3. #13
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    But then, this morning, he got upset with me because I gave him my cheek when he leaned in to kiss.

    Seriously folks.
    From what I read, she did this once and outside of all the other accounting's of his poor behavior, that's all anyone can pick out and focus on?

  4. #14
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    Agree. 10 weeks. What if she refuses sex, does he hit her with a baseball bat next time? He is a lunatic. Have you googled him? has he ever been arrested? Run.
    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    she did this once and outside of all the other accounting's of his poor behavior, that's all anyone can pick out and focus on?

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  6. #15
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    But then, this morning, he got upset with me because I gave him my cheek when he leaned in to kiss.

    Seriously folks.
    From what I read, she did this once and outside of all the other accounting's of his poor behavior, that's all anyone can pick out and focus on?
    That's not what I read. You left out his version of events which the OP was kind enough to add.

    Originally Posted by luciamts
    this morning, he got upset with me because I gave him my cheek when he leaned in to kiss. I didn't even think anything of it. But he told me I do it too often and it makes him feel like we are not "stable". I apologized and said I'd be more conscious of it, but we left on an awkward note.
    They don't get along. Instead of demonizing him or making him out to be a lunatic or a bad person, I think she's more than capable of ending the relationship if she sees it's warranted. Putting the blame on someone else is too easy. She should just nip it in the bud and be over with it. They both deserve to be happy.

  7. #16
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    That's not what I read. You left out his version of events which the OP was kind enough to add.
    Thank you for adding to the context. I did miss that.

    But the responses do tend to slant to beating her up over turning her head and not much of anything about him being depressed, angry and crying.

    When brought it to her attention and she sympathetically acknowledged how felt. (I apologized and said I'd be more conscious of it,)

    But it doesn't address his behavior. And turning ones cheek doesn't excuse it.

  8. #17
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by reinventmyself
    Thank you for adding to the context. I did miss that.

    But the responses do tend to slant to beating her up over turned her head and not so much about him being depressed, angry and crying.

    When brought it to her attention and she sympathetically acknowledged how felt. (I apologized and said I'd be more conscious of it,)

    But it doesn't address his behavior. And turning ones cheek isn't an excuse.
    Are you referring to my post on page 1? I'm not sure where it's slanting that way. I was looking at both sides and not simply agreeing with what everyone was already saying. Perhaps that's where you might have felt I was slanting to "beating her up" over turning her head. I asked the OP if she interpreted turning her cheek and didn't even assume it was strictly her being cold. I'm not one for big pity parties. Sorry.

    It always takes two in a relationship. No matter how abusive (mentally/emotionally/physically) it takes two to tango. One person doing the abusing or creating chaos and the other person taking it or accepting it. I don't believe the OP is helpless. She was here to vent and that's fine but surely she'd be able to see even through how confused she is that she plays a role in their dynamic too.

    I'd urge her to reevaluate the guy she's seeing. She shouldn't be in a relationship that's unfulfilling.

  9. #18
    Platinum Member reinventmyself's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Rose Mosse
    Are you referring to my post on page 1?
    It wasn't directed at one person specifically

  10. #19
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    [QUOTE=Rose Mosse;7185858]That's not what I read. You left out his version of events which the OP was kind enough to add.


    They don't get along. Instead of demonizing him or making him out to be a lunatic or a bad person, I think she's more than capable of ending the relationship if she sees it's warranted. Putting the blame on someone else is too easy. She should just nip it in the bud and be over with it. They both deserve to be

    He is not stable, as I bolded at the top of the page.

    I do not understand the focus of her turning her check. He is all over the place

  11. #20
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    We could probably argue too what's the big deal at 10 weeks. I think it's too much emotional investment and a lot of unease and discomfort all around, a lot of nitpicking (I'm sorry if this comes off as flippant) and overanalyzing. There's so little here of the relationship and they seem to be in the getting to know you stage. Of course he's unstable. I agree with that 100%. For every "stable" person, there are probably 10 more who aren't. There shouldn't be any surprise there especially in the dating realm. What's she going to do about it though?

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