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Thread: Why will my ex not give me peace even after blocking end ending it?

  1. #1
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    Why will my ex not give me peace even after blocking end ending it?

    I have posted on here a few times before. As an update in regards to my previous threads, I feel much, much better.

    I was in a very turbulent relationship and as a result suffered from serious anxiety and stress. I have took all advice from close friends, family and on here, so I blocked my ex on all social media platforms including WhatsApp.

    It has been a couple of weeks since the break up after a holiday we went on together.

    I have been focusing on healing and getting my health back on track. I lost my appetite completely and I put my health on the back burner, which I now know I shouldn’t have.

    To try and take my mind off things, I just got back from a trip with a male friend who had an event launch and invited me. It was a nice time, nothing romantic involved as we are just friends.

    During the trip, I continued to post a few pics of the trip on my Instagram. I forgot I had friends of my ex’s on social media, who have obviously gone ahead and told him I am away with a guy.

    My ex has then messaged my friend, demanding to know what guy I am away with, and also sending sarcastic messages such as ‘oh wow she’s on holiday with another guy again LOL’ etc.

    This is just distressing for me, as I do not understand why he is still not giving me peace and still finding ways to get at me.

    If he didn’t care, and was moving on as I thought we were, why is he still finding a way to do this and get at me?

    I am starting to feel better and healing but I feel like he will never give me peace and I am
    confused as to why.

    I have advised my friends to block him now since, but I just cannot get my head around why he would still be messaging these sorts of things when it is done!?

    We both mutually ended it and I just want to move on, so why won’t he let me?

  2. #2
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    Ask your friends to stop reporting the things he says to you.

    He HAS left you alone. It's your friends who are starting drama. If they're your friends, why would they want to hurt you?

  3. #3
    Gold Member SarahLancaster's Avatar
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    Why didn't you block his ability to text you?

    You don't owe him any explanations about what you're doing with your life. You can't control what your friends post, but you can make sure that he has ZERO ways of contacting you. I hope you don't plan on responding.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    Glad to hear you're doing better.

    He's not stopping you from moving on. He's just being himself. Big ego. He's allowed to be himself, of course, which means he's allowed to be miffed that you're doing whatever you're doing, posting whatever you're doing. And he's allowed to blow some hot air to a mutual friend, even doing so in the hopes of getting under your skin or finding some version of "peace" for himself.

    None of that really has anything to do with you, you see? Unless you make the story about you instead of about him.

    Honestly, the person in this scenario I'd be annoyed with is your friend. Why is he/she bothering to tell you about this nonsense? Can't help but feel like you've got some drama-seeking people in your orbit. Lots of making big things out of small things, something from nothing.

    Just tell your friends you don't want to hear anything about him. If they feel the need to keep informing you about nonsense—well, time to assess your friends.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member bluecastle's Avatar
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    An example of how another version of friendship can look:

    My best friend broke up with a longterm girlfriend 4 years ago. They were together a decade, engaged, so you can imagine it was sad and complicated. She has a big ego, a meddlesome instinct, likes to poke at bears to feel something. All that was connected to why things ended, on his side.

    She still looks for little ways every now and then to get at him, and she's married. Since she is blocked every which way in his world one of those ways, or an attempt, is that she'll peek at my stuff on social media sometimes: looking at stories, randomly following me and unfollowing me. Lame smoke signals, basically. I've never really known her—never, frankly, liked her very much.

    You know what I tell my friend when she follows, unfollows, looks at my stuff? NOTHING. I give it no power and, with that, it has no power. I love my friend and know he doesn't want or need that noise. I don't want or need that noise. I'm sure he does the same for me, when I've had exes or people I've dated sleuth around on his feeds for some info about me.

    Just something to think about. This is all dramatic only if you choose to make it into a show. Otherwise it's just the way some people behave after breaking up. Not graceful, but not meaningful.

  7. #6
    Platinum Member melancholy123's Avatar
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    I agree, it's your friends who are causing the problem and drama. Tell them to stop telling you what this guy is up to or has said. Maybe you need to block a few more people on your Instagram.

  8. #7
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    This is about his ego, nothing more. We already know the man is not a good person and doesn't respect you. His response here isn't based on feelings for you, but feelings for himself.

    As the others have already advised, tell your friends to stop reporting back to you about him.

    He doesn't have the power to prevent you from moving on if you don't hand him that power. You can move on in spite of his behaviour.

  9. #8
    Super Moderator HeartGoesOn's Avatar
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    No offense intended, but this is the result of you sending out the bait. I have a hunch that you knew this would get back to your ex through other friends on social media.

    I'm sure I won't score any brownie points here, but if you truly want to end it and move on, you will, if not you'll find an excuse.

  10. #9
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    Agree with all of this. He is leaving you alone. It's a free country -he's allowed to text who he wants to. Tell your friends you don't want to hear anything about him, ever. Please don't ask friends to block him. That's overstepping with your friends.

    And yes you're allowed to post photos on social media of whatever. And understand that posting photos on social media comes with its risks of people seeing/sharing them with those you didn't intend to. Is it worth the risk? Your choice.

  11. #10
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Why don't you take a break from posting your life on social media? No body cares what you're up to really and those that do care you will share stories about your life as well as pictures when.you.are.face.to.face. Before you've done that, tell your friends that you don't want to hear anything about him, what he posts, nothing.

    Time to rest, relax, refresh without all this social media noise that causes so many so much emotional grief.

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