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Thread: Jealous

  1. #1
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    Jealous

    So I talked with my boyfriend and I feel really jealous lol. I asked him the question , a question that should probably be forbidden, but I mean... a question to get to know how he was with his previous relationships. Anyways, i asked him how far he has went with his exes and he said he went THAT far (as in losing his virginity) once and only once.. it made me jealous to think that I wouldnít be his first ... I want to marry him in the future and I see him in my future... so it makes me a little jealous to think I wouldnít be his first. I still love him though! Donít get me wrong. Iím just so jealous rnnnn ughh. Is it normal to feel so jealous? I mean, he has dated before and has more experience than I do... so ofc it makes me feel jealous or am I just acting too childish? Whatís this POV in an adult view? Like from the older generationís view. I want to know so please share your pov.

  2. #2
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    How old are you and how long have you been dating?

  3. #3
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    There is nothing you can do. You can't change the past.

  4. #4
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    I am going to guess you're still quite young.

    As such, yes, I would say it's normal to feel jealous as you have no other experience to compare this to and are still learning how to manage your feelings. However, as you get older, you will find that guys with no sexual experience are rare. Nearly everyone will have been with other girls before you. That tends to work to your benefit as well, since you won't be the one to show them the ropes. Less experienced folks tend to be clumsy and unsure of themselves in bed. That's normal, but it does get awkward to deal with past a certain point.

    You can't change his past. You can only control your reaction to it. I don't think you have any reason to be upset here. Don't hold it against him. Simply work on your own confidence and realize that, hey, this is life.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member Wiseman2's Avatar
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    It's fine to explore your sexuality, but you also have to explore your maturity. That means be secure. Responded in your other thread about sex with this guy: [Register to see the link]

  7. 05-28-2019, 07:42 AM
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  8. 05-28-2019, 08:15 AM
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  9. #6
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    The important question isn't if it's appropriate or not. It bothers you. The question is, can you rise above it? You'll have to put it behind you, or it will always interfere with your relationship. And if you continue to be too jealous, it will interfere with all your future relationships.

  10. #7
    Gold Member Gary Snyder's Avatar
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    It does not matter - love usually does not last when people are apart, so he does not love that girl. He loves you.

  11. #8
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    At your age, I actually don't recall feeling super jealous that mine was with another girl first, but I do recall some jealousy around other things, and a few of those revolved around not asking questions if you can't accept the answer. The older you get, the less you find it matters. You won't run into many who have not had sex and as stated before, experience wins out on virginity or not having any experience at all, whether dating in general, relationships, or sex. All I can say is it's normal to feel jealous, and you simply cannot let the green-eyed beast take control. He's with you now and that's all that matters.

  12. #9
    Platinum Member catfeeder's Avatar
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    With each passing year, the likelihood of finding yourself with someone who has no history becomes more and more unlikely. You can either opt to hold our for some dude who has sprung straight from the womb fully formed and ready to have a first with you, or you can adopt the assumption that anyone who's mature enough to have a long term intimate relationship has learned how to do that through trial and error.

  13. #10
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    Thank you everyone! I think by reading these I have realized that itís not super important to dig into my boyfriendís past. I think it would be good to know the basics but obviously not everything because the past is in the past. Like you guys said, I canít change anything and itís better to just accept what happened! I still love him very very much and Iím not the type to let this ruin our relationship. Again, thank you everyone who has given me advice! It has broaden my view about relationships and experience.


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