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Everything posted by Cdlove

  1. The relationship I thought that would last ended about 2-3 weeks ago. I had hurt myself from sports and so that meant I was out for a while. I suddenly became depressed and sad... my ex boyfriend wasn’t there for me when I needed him most. He gave excuses such as “I needed to practice for this tournament” or “why cant i hang out with my friends?” Or “you don’t know anything about what’s happening in my life” (which that one burned through my heart more because then that means he never wanted to open up to me no matter how many times I said I was there for him) I was NEVER the controlling type of girlfriend. I always let him do what he wanted to do. EXCEPT dangerous things! Anyways, we had a fight after I told him we needed to talk and he was just furious. He was like “what do you want me to do? Say “oh okay baby, I’ll fix it and do better” You want me to act fake and act like everything is okay?” That was a sign of a toxic person... something I should’ve picked up everytime we had an argument... but after our argument, he said he needed time... 2 days pass, we never called or texted unless i said “goodmorning, be safe at work, goodnight” or whatever else. That’s all we ever said to each other. After those two days passed, he said he felt like without me and wanted to work out our relationship (like I had proposed)... well we started talking like “normally” now. But for me, our conversations still felt dead... we never even called and I waited for him to ask me if we could call... it never happened. In my heart, I knew it was already over or at least I felt like it.. so the week passes while we still have our..dead ass texts. It’s friday and I ask if he could come over.. he said if he wasn’t busy... I relentlessly said okay not fighting for anything maybe like “there’s no such thing as being too busy for the one you love” ... Saturday comes... i just text “so ig imma assume you’re not coming over” ..30 minutes pass without texting me. He then says “i’ve made up my decision” that’s when we called about our break up... the only time we actually called. It ended there.. 2 weeks after our break up, he already started to talk to a new girl and from what I learned, that girl recently broke up with her bf (she had about a 2 year relationship i think) ..but I’m just healing and doing my best. I question myself a lot whether if I miss him or the love he gave me. I realized that he was a toxic person...I gave him all the love I could give him so ig my efforts were shown.. I always pushed him to be a better person like any lover would do. But ig he I just wanted something temporary over someone good to keep. I’m just glad that I didn’t give my body to him. I would’ve regretted that... and I’m glad I took things slow even if lust was calling out to my name. Words of encouragement would be great... I’m still doing my best to be a better me and leave him. I unfriended him and everything because in the end, I couldn’t be “friends” like we agreed to be at the beginning of our break up. I was hurting too much and there was no point of him being able to snoop around my social media no more. I didn’t want to receive the confusing texts of “i miss you” or something like that no more... which he continued to do for a week after our break up. So words of encouragement would be nice. Thanks.
  2. Yes, I know I should educate myself before actually having sex and I PLAN to! I still have things to learn about sex and I have set a rule for myself to not have sex before actually learning because I do not want to be unprepared. And yes I know that sex does not keep a man! I have seen that through my own eyes with my other siblings. But yes, I think only one person said things about my morals, but I have changed my thoughts FOR ME (not for my boyfriend, not for anyone) and I just wanted to share that out even thought it wouldn’t really matter to others lol. I definitely have a lot to learn and I am willing to actually learn so I thank you guys for advice about relationships and sex in general.
  3. So I have been dating my boyfriend for a while now... he’s my first boyfriend and I am definitely taking things slow! Like I communicate when I do not like something and he understands.. but I am getting to the point where I am curious about a guy’s body because I’ve never touched a guys body lol. Like I want to see what a man’s body feels like but I’m a little shy and don’t know how to approach him. He usually takes lead in things for when I am okay with it but I’m just a little shy when it comes to things like this. I mean, I just think it’s coz I’m not confident to touch him because it’s something I’ve never done. Any tips for a newbie like me about relationships in general? Before I thought of marriage before sex, but I feel like my morals have changed. From my previous post, i said that I believed in sex after marriage, but someone on that thread said that I should really have strong morals for that. After thinking about it, it was only because my parents told me not to have sex. But I started really thinking and thinking if that’s what I really believed in and after learning a bit of things while being in a relationship, I learned that it’s okay to have sex before marriage as long as you know you won’t regret it. So, sorry for more mixed feelings to those people who continuously respond to my threads .
  4. So my boyfriend and I have been dating for a month now (but we talked for a really long time) and we recently started getting into the more mature things like sex. BUT, I am a shy person and know my boundaries so I told him that I don’t want to go past taking our clothes off just yet... because I strongly believe in NO SEX TILL MARRIAGE (and he knows that.) So what we usually do is just kissing and grinding with our clothes on. I am a shy person with NO experience in sex or touching each other while he has had sex with one person and I think has touched a few girls (like fingering). I really don’t know what to do and I feel bad because I also want to make him feel good but I’m also just very shy about it.. for example, sometimes he wants me to go top, but I’m TOOO SHYYYY and I don’t know what to dooooo. He wants me to grind on him too but i’ve never done it so it’s overwhelming. Anyways my point, he has said that his hurts sometimes either during or after grinding. Does that mean he’s actually hurt?? Or because he can’t finish? Sorry, I have a jumble piece of everything in here lol. I just need advice to be honest.
  5. Cdlove


    Thank you everyone! I think by reading these I have realized that it’s not super important to dig into my boyfriend’s past. I think it would be good to know the basics but obviously not everything because the past is in the past. Like you guys said, I can’t change anything and it’s better to just accept what happened! I still love him very very much and I’m not the type to let this ruin our relationship. Again, thank you everyone who has given me advice! It has broaden my view about relationships and experience.
  6. Cdlove


    So I talked with my boyfriend and I feel really jealous lol. I asked him the question , a question that should probably be forbidden, but I mean... a question to get to know how he was with his previous relationships. Anyways, i asked him how far he has went with his exes and he said he went THAT far (as in losing his virginity) once and only once.. it made me jealous to think that I wouldn’t be his first ... I want to marry him in the future and I see him in my future... so it makes me a little jealous to think I wouldn’t be his first. I still love him though! Don’t get me wrong. I’m just so jealous rnnnn ughh. Is it normal to feel so jealous? I mean, he has dated before and has more experience than I do... so ofc it makes me feel jealous or am I just acting too childish? What’s this POV in an adult view? Like from the older generation’s view. I want to know so please share your pov.
  7. I don’t plan to have sex. I would prefer to get married first lol. But thank you! I will do my best to communicate. I will also keep an eye out for red flags since I am new to relationships. Also, when he’s touching me, should I touch him? I don’t even know what to do lol. Cuz I noticed that when he’s touching me, he can’t focus on kissing either so I don’t want to be kissing him one sided.
  8. Btw, i am now 18 if you people were wondering who replied to my first post i made a few months back.
  9. So I went over to my boyfriend’s house a few days ago and this is still on my mind... I’m 18, never had sex, never had a boyfriend (but I have talked to guys but never got far enough to date or kiss them) until obviously, I met my boyfriend. We started out kissing(before dating) then as we saw each other more we progressed slowly into french kissing (after we started dating) and now that we are dating he has started to rub my vagina. I don’t dislike it. I mean, I’ve never had a guy do it to me so it’s something new and kinda scary. There were a few times were he almost rubbed a good spot and the sometimes where it would hurt lol. So moral of the storyyy, how can I tell him that it hurts when he rubs without hurting his pride LMAO? He would rub gently and then try to go hard but it hurt coz he was rubbing the wrong area .. so how do I help my dear partner out ?
  10. @Wiseman2 we have been going on a few dates and make plans :)
  11. Yes, he is older than me just by a few months. I think he does want to date me too because he says he wants to take his time as well! Which im glad he respects me and my decision too when I said I wanted to take it slow. And yes, I do my best to keep my boundaries as well since I am not very experiences lol @Afireblue
  12. This guy and i have been talking for a month but have known each other for a while now. We feel really attracted to each other. I had my first kiss just recently with him but we aren’t dating yet. (I’m still pretty young, 17 years old) Is it okay to do that ? I really wanted to wait until I dated him but at the same time i had a feeling like I wanted to kiss him too (because he also wanted to). Lmao i’m still a bit new in relationships but he has been in relationships before. I feel like the more im with him the more i want to see him in person.
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