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Thread: His Ex and sister get extremely close AFTER they break up?

  1. #1
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    His Ex and sister get extremely close AFTER they break up?

    I have a bit of a weird dilemma and my hopes are you guys can confirm if Iím being dramatic/paranoid. I met a nice guy and been dating for a little while. I like him a lot and are in the process of possibly getting more serious. Now the weird part is he broke up with his ex about a year ago. The circumstances surrounding this breakup hasnít been explained in detail to me, but what I do know is he broke up with her because he didnít feel she was the ďoneĒ for him. They supposedly ended on good terms even though it took her a while to move on. Flash forward a year later. Heís out with his sister from out of town and they bump into his ex. Because they are on good terms he introduces her to his sister as friends. Her and his sister hit it off right away. I mean, they take an extreme liking to each other that they exchange numbers and begin hanging out.

    When I say hanging out, I donít mean meeting up here or there. His sister lives out of state and they fly back and forth to see each other. Weird right? Thu seem genuinely close and Iím bothered. From what I see and have been told, heís not involved or around when they hang out but should I be worried? Especially since the break up was amicable? Or am I overreacting?

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    Flash forward a year later. Heís out with his sister from out of town and they bump into his ex. Because they are on good terms he introduces her to his sister as friends.


    If she never met the sister and he introduced the ex as A FRIEND -- how does the sister know that this is the ex girlfriend that she shouldn't communicate with? I find it odd that the ex never met the sister unless their relationship had only last a few months prior to that. Introducing her as a friend implies there is no reason she is off limits to the sister to have a friendship with.

    I would not be worried - i would just be observant and i would decide if you are okay dating someone where the ex was still knowing one of his relatives or not. Decide what your boundaries are.

    How long have you dated him? how long ago did the ex and the sister start hanging out?

  3. #3
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I don't know if you're over reacting or not. If the fact that his ex is going to be in your outer circle is going to make you feel insecure or unable to trust your partner then you're not over reacting but instead, your gut is trying to tell you that you're not going to be giggy with it and to exit now before you get in too deep.

    Personally, I'd not worry about it at all.

  4. #4
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    Flash forward a year later. Heís out with his sister from out of town and they bump into his ex. Because they are on good terms he introduces her to his sister as friends.


    If she never met the sister and he introduced the ex as A FRIEND -- how does the sister know that this is the ex girlfriend that she shouldn't communicate with? I find it odd that the ex never met the sister unless their relationship had only last a few months prior to that. Introducing her as a friend implies there is no reason she is off limits to the sister to have a friendship with.

    I would not be worried - i would just be observant and i would decide if you are okay dating someone where the ex was still knowing one of his relatives or not. Decide what your boundaries are.

    How long have you dated him? how long ago did the ex and the sister start hanging out?
    Iíve dated him since he split from her. And youíre right, he introduced her as a friend so technically the sister didnít know she was an ex at the time but she knows now. Iím more concerned that she was introduced at all. Why not say hi and bye? Why would he allow a relationship develop between the two? Had the sister and ex known each other prior I wouldnít be worried. But for her to be introduced after the break up and while Iím here kinda bothers me.

    And yes, to answer your other question him and his ex dated briefly. Like 6 months tops I believe, if even. I donít think they even got serious. They broke up before it got there. The ex and sister started hanging out about 2 months ago.

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  6. #5
    Platinum Member j.man's Avatar
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    Why do you care who his sister is friend's with? It doesn't sound as though they're third and fourth wheeling it with you and your guy. Is the dude you're dating talking all about how they hang out? I'm not sure how this is even a recurring topic.

    Regarding him "allowing" them to form a friendship, they're two grown women. He's in no position to dictate what personal relationships they form or with whom.

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    It would bother me if I felt the ex was moving in on his sister in an attempt to stay within his sphere. Either to eventually get back together, or to just keep tabs on him.

    I do get the discomfort. The motive is my question.

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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Why do you care who his sister is friend's with? It doesn't sound as though they're third and fourth wheeling it with you and your guy. Is the dude you're dating talking all about how they hang out? I'm not sure how this is even a recurring topic.

    Regarding him "allowing" them to form a friendship, they're two grown women. He's in no position to dictate what personal relationships they form or with whom.
    No it isnít a recurring topic. His sister was in town this weekend and he hung with her and ex. I didnít find out until after the fact. When I asked why ex was there, he explained her and sister has been hanging out recently. I know this may sound like an oxymoron but I do trust him. My fear is that this relationship could reopen doors

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    Overreacting!!!

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    Originally Posted by soconfused89
    No it isnít a recurring topic. His sister was in town this weekend and he hung with her and ex. I didnít find out until after the fact. When I asked why ex was there, he explained her and sister has been hanging out recently. I know this may sound like an oxymoron but I do trust him. My fear is that this relationship could reopen doors
    Then the problem would be your guy, not his sister.

    If all it takes is his sister being friends with his ex for him to start turning his head back in her direction, then he wasn't as invested as you thought.

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    I'm with j.man. Why do you care what his sister does? She may be having an affair with the ex. Who knows? Are you looking for a reason to get jealous? You're more upset about him going out and not telling you, aren't you? You say you've only been dating a little while. I don't think he needs to ask your permission when he goes out. And he did tell you about it after it happened. You need to dial back the jealousy and trust issues if you want to make this relationship work.

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