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soconfused89

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  1. Not sure if I I used the proper words to position my question but I’ve known this guy for over a year. We met because he was pursuing me and wanted to date me. I liked him a lot then or else he wouldn’t have gotten my number. Problem was, timing was bad. Literally JUST got out of a relationship and I was really broken. Didn’t realize this initially, but once I kept cancelling dates and not wanting to hang with him, I knew I wasn’t over my ex. So I kinda ended us, but remained friends who spoke to each other sporadically. Fast forward a year later, I’m healed and ready to go. I begin to pursue him and he turns down my advances by making excuses to hang and see me. So I come right out and ask him if he was still upset with how we ended (I explained to him again why. I liked him and respected him too much at the time to screw him over). He told me we were fine, yet continues to blow me off. Finally, 3 months later I ask him again what’s the problem and he tells me that he fears if I wasn’t into him then, I won’t be now and it’ll be a waste of his time. 😔 How can I convince him otherwise? His assumptions are NOT true. I truly and honestly spent my year healing and moving on. I didn’t date anyone in between and I wasn’t playing games with him. I’ve said this numerous times. What else can I do? Or is it a lost cause?
  2. No it isn’t a recurring topic. His sister was in town this weekend and he hung with her and ex. I didn’t find out until after the fact. When I asked why ex was there, he explained her and sister has been hanging out recently. I know this may sound like an oxymoron but I do trust him. My fear is that this relationship could reopen doors
  3. I’ve dated him since he split from her. And you’re right, he introduced her as a friend so technically the sister didn’t know she was an ex at the time but she knows now. I’m more concerned that she was introduced at all. Why not say hi and bye? Why would he allow a relationship develop between the two? Had the sister and ex known each other prior I wouldn’t be worried. But for her to be introduced after the break up and while I’m here kinda bothers me. And yes, to answer your other question him and his ex dated briefly. Like 6 months tops I believe, if even. I don’t think they even got serious. They broke up before it got there. The ex and sister started hanging out about 2 months ago.
  4. I have a bit of a weird dilemma and my hopes are you guys can confirm if I’m being dramatic/paranoid. I met a nice guy and been dating for a little while. I like him a lot and are in the process of possibly getting more serious. Now the weird part is he broke up with his ex about a year ago. The circumstances surrounding this breakup hasn’t been explained in detail to me, but what I do know is he broke up with her because he didn’t feel she was the “one” for him. They supposedly ended on good terms even though it took her a while to move on. Flash forward a year later. He’s out with his sister from out of town and they bump into his ex. Because they are on good terms he introduces her to his sister as friends. Her and his sister hit it off right away. I mean, they take an extreme liking to each other that they exchange numbers and begin hanging out. When I say hanging out, I don’t mean meeting up here or there. His sister lives out of state and they fly back and forth to see each other. Weird right? Thu seem genuinely close and I’m bothered. From what I see and have been told, he’s not involved or around when they hang out but should I be worried? Especially since the break up was amicable? Or am I overreacting?
  5. *Sighs* to be honest and looking back, perhaps I did inadvertently lead him on. Honestly, our “dating phase” ended solely due to the fact he was extremely frustrated with my lack of motivation to see him or go on actual dates. It was only then I stated why I was so distant, but at that point......he was done trying regardless. All of this is great advice. He’s not interested. Time to cut my losses
  6. You're absolutely correct. I should've been more direct. I was direct eventually, but I probably waited too long to be direct. We never got serious initially just talked back and forth for weeks. But yes, I did explain to him why and apologized. But I agree with you and the other posters. He's not interested and move on.
  7. Hi all, Roughly a year ago a met a really nice guy. We hit it off right away and exchanged numbers. He tried multiple times to hang with me and take me on dates, but we never got a chance to do so. This was primarily my fault. I was fresh out of a relationship and had some baggage at the time. I didn't want to bring that into my next relationship so I was distant towards him (I did explain why). I took some time to myself and now I am good as new. We bumped into each recently we sparked contact again. I noticed he wasn't as responsive via text (although whenever in person he seems FULLY engaged with me. Smiling, flirting, blushing, cant keep his eyes off me). This prompted me to ask if he was now in a relationship. He said he was seeing someone but it wasn't defined and nothing serious. But, after 3 weeks of trying to reconnect, he has made no attempt to see me nor is he responsive to my attempts. Does this mean he isn't interested any longer? If so, why not just say this? And why is he soooo into me in person but distant when we're not? None of it is adding up to me?
  8. 4 years of intimacy is a long time.Was there nothing else but sex involved? Also, people say things they dont mean. It was a heated argument so he couldve been angry and just wanted to say something to hurt you
  9. My ex broke up with me. Broke my heart into pieces. He moved on quite quickly. Got serious with an ex and moved her in within weeks of our breakup (yes, I am aware that this means he was seeing her behind my back). The point of providing this detail is because I want to make it clear that hes moved on.Nevertheless he wanted to remain friends. Took me a while to get there but i'm here. What confuses me is when i do text him and it's purely platonic and nothing more, he doesnt respond or takes hours and days to respond. But when I text him about my emotions or us (which I dont do anymore) he was extremely receptive. Responding quickly, full conversations etc. I guess my question is, if he's moved on and apparently wants me to do the same, why is he only responsive to "us" type of convos vs the friendly ones with no interior motive?
  10. I actually did this two days ago. He responded "Ok" as if he didn't care or me being done doesn't bother him. Maybe his goal the entire time was to get me to move on.
  11. Never cheated. Was actually crazy over this guy. I thought the same as you. I've been questioning myself and wondering if I may have said something hurtful to him and didn't realize it? And now he's taking revenge out on me? My best friend thinks he didn't really want me to move on and lashing out. But this theory makes no sense because he actually moved on
  12. Ironically, they were on and off for years. He said it was nothing serious then turned serious pretty quickly. My gut tells me that is the real reason he dumped me. While being dumped hurts, that isn't my problem. I am more concerned with why he feels the need to throw things in my face.
  13. My ex and I dated for roughly 8 months. Things were really good (or so I thought) until one day he sat me down and said he felt chemistry was missing and was breaking up with me. He wanted to remain friends and I objected to this saying it isn't possible but insisted we try because he cares for me and values my friendship. Weeks go by and we are doing OK. Still talking every day, but its platonic. It wasn't until he confirmed he was seeing someone new that it became harder for me. I would get emotional at times. I eventually came straight out and told him this is difficult for me. He suggested we take a break for a few weeks to get my emotions in order. I stayed away for a few weeks then reached out when I felt better. When I reached out to just say hi, he responded and immediately told me that he is this new woman had moved in together. I got upset because I couldn't figure out why he would tell me this unprovoked. He eventually told me it was a test to see if I had really moved on. A week later, he decides to pop at my job with his new girlfriend (I work at a bar). He knows my schedule and knew I worked that night and even sat on MY SIDE of the bar. They stayed for less than 10 mins and didn't order anything. Why is he doing these things to me? Is he trying to make me jealous? Does he think I need help moving on? I cant understand why he's saying and doing things to hurt me or make this harder. Any advice will be greatly appreciated.
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