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Thread: Dog Owner Issue

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    I'm just noting it as an observation that sprung up while reading your account in this thread.
    Do me next!

    Jokes aside, I agree with batya. Too many times I've been leg humped by an animal and wish the owner had more control, keeping my personal space in mind. I just hope to instill a more peaceful mindset that will put you at ease, in the face of unpleasant situations. If you don't wish to do so, then do as you please. Tryin to help over here.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Snny's Avatar
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    I never understood the logic behind being afraid/not afraid of certain dog breeds. Honestly, ANY dog can act out on aggression toward people no matter the breed or size. It depends on how the dog is raised and trained by the owner (or past owners).

  3. #23
    Platinum Member journeynow's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Snny
    I never understood the logic behind being afraid/not afraid
    Just a note: logic and feelings aren't the same territory.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by Snny
    I never understood the logic behind being afraid/not afraid of certain dog breeds. Honestly, ANY dog can act out on aggression toward people no matter the breed or size. It depends on how the dog is raised and trained by the owner (or past owners).
    Yes, and my post has nothing to do with dog breeds (in this case it was the practical matter of size -had the dog stood even a bit on his hind legs he would have been my height or taller -that felt intimidating and uncomfortable to me when the dog lunged and, in the elevator when at first he came very close to me). Had it been a small dog I would have had more room in the elevator to keep my distance and could have been even more discreet about it than I was. I have no idea what breed the dog was.

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Snny
    I never understood the logic behind being afraid/not afraid of certain dog breeds. Honestly, ANY dog can act out on aggression toward people no matter the breed or size. It depends on how the dog is raised and trained by the owner (or past owners).
    But i want to add one asterisk to it, its not merely how they were "raised and trained" = well trained dogs can become afraid in a situation and people tend to ignore the fact that the growled or attempted to step away before a bite happened.

  7. #26
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    Originally Posted by yatsue
    Then I guess we have different opinions on who a stranger is. I don't go out of my way to meet my neighbors. I don't know their names or anything about them, except they live next to me. I definitely don't see a need to defend myself. It doesn't matter to me. Clearly it does to you, so it seems you'll keep running into these triggers with your neighbors who don't see your side and will get into future unpleasant conversations. People aren't likely to change their minds, even if you try to explain yourself.

    I don't allow my pets to invade people's privacy. It's too bad others aren't the same. You can raise awareness, but people in your own life are going to do as they see fit. You can control your actions and let it not bother you. Or you can continue to interact with such people and become angry with their actions/opinions. It's up to you.
    Thanks! My building is community-like and since I am a parent of a young child and new to my city as of 9 years ago I made it my business to get to know my neighbors and be a good neighbor especially since my husband travels but also just because - it's part of being part of my new city and community. I totally understand treating neighbors as strangers -perfectly valid. In my case I've helped my neighbors many times, become close with certain neighbors, recently joined a book club in my building and my son has made friends with certain of the children in the building.

    I don't care if she changes her mind about me. I care that the dog owner didn't get the wrong impression she seemed focused on conveying about me. I think I was successful. He seems like a reasonable guy -have seen him around before, too.

    I'm glad you are a responsible pet owner!

    I appreciate the general advice -and this was kind of an individual situation.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Yes. And you corrected her once already. What's the point in dragging a couple of podiums into the hallway? You represented yourself well with your words of your first rebuttal. Follow it up with your actions and all should be fine in the eyes of anyone who wouldn't otherwise be hellbent on a bias toward dogs. I'm assuming you weren't cowering in the corner of the elevator or anything, so what reason does the guy have to doubt you? Protest less, don't go frantically scooting your kid down the hall at first sight of a dog or anything, and be cordial with conscientious neighbors regardless of their pet-owning status. It's not like the lady's putting up fliers for people to keep their dogs away from you.

    To be honest, and it's not without still agreeing with you a good 90% of the time, I'm having a hard time believing it's more about your concern for your public image than you feeling mischaracterized for the sake of your own ego. I can't claim to know your offline persona or whether yours here reflects it, but I see in this situation what at least seems pretty relatable to one of your mannerisms on here. Someone will say something along the lines of, "I agree with Batya," following up with what's 97.83% in-line with your opinion, and you'll find the 2.17% of the almost completely concurrent post which doesn't reflect your opinion and reply with like two or three paragraphs of disagreement with that bit, whether it's relevant or consequential to the thread or not. Sometimes I can understand it. Someone posts something in agreement with you and then throws in a "by the way, also hate black people" at the end, by all means distinguish yourself. But other times I'm just like, "Batya, why...?

    Granted, this lady's not saying much that's agreeable to you, but the idea of feeling compelled to outright convince her and this guy that "I, Batya, am not afraid of dogs" seems similar to you at least appearing to be compelled to make sure people know, "I, Batya, do not align with this 2% of this post I disagree with." I get the impression that you feel very strongly, even vehemently about being accurately represented and perceived. And I think asserting your identity and how you're represented and perceived can be plenty important. But I also think sometimes it's not. Often it's not. Beyond simply stating, "Hey, I'm just not comfortable with strange dogs jumping on me," I think this situation is one where it's not.

    I hope you don't take that offensively. I'm the last person to throw stones when it comes to mannerisms on these forums. And I'm not saying what I've just noted is any significant representation of your contribution to the forums. I'm just noting it as an observation that sprung up while reading your account in this thread.
    Thanks for your interesting observations on what I write and how I write in other threads. I will say that even if what you wrote were the case sometimes in general (meaning I don't see it in the same way as you do), 2% of what is said can be far more substantive and compelling than the remaining 98%. But, that's as an aside only, nothing to do with my thread here or anything else on your opinions or what I've written on unrelated topics. In this situation it was really important to me that she not give the impression to our neighbor that I am afraid of all dogs for the reasons I wrote above having to do with my interactions with my neighbors and my son's interactions with some of the dogs in the building.

    On this situation, that is what I chose to do in that moment shortly after being lunged at by a very large dog (and I had also just power walked in the heat/humidity so it was a shining moment only as far as sweat is shiny lol). The lady continued the conversation questioning me about my past experiences with pets. I was 100% ready to let it go. I believe she had an agenda since, separately, my husband and I have had awkward and slightly annoying encounters with her in the hallway with her dog so I sensed that she wanted the podium to expound on her analysis of my fear of all dogs. As I responded to Journeynow in hindsight I would have tried to end it and not responded to her further inquiries. In the moment I made that mistake I guess.
    Last edited by Batya33; 07-19-2018 at 03:42 PM.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    But i want to add one asterisk to it, its not merely how they were "raised and trained" = well trained dogs can become afraid in a situation and people tend to ignore the fact that the growled or attempted to step away before a bite happened.
    The day I was bitten the owner- my boyfriend's mom -had the dog on the leash in the middle of the living room but i had to pass right by the dog with my stuff. I was walking normally. Maybe the dog growled - the mom never said he had nor did I hear a thing -all i knew was the dog lunged at me and gave me a puncture wound on my leg through my clothing. I don't remember any warnings at all in that case. The breed was bulldog and I think he was trained and I didn't think it had anything to do with the dog's breed, still don't. He ended up biting again I believe some years later?

  10. #29
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    I may have an unpopular opinion, but I do not think dogs belong in public places like shopping malls, airports, restaurants, etc. Just today, I had to step over a dog in a nice restaurant, inside.

    I am not talking about verified, properly marked seeing eye dogs. For true medical purposes. But just because someone can't/won't be without their furry friend is not ok.

    This has nothing to do with biting or fear, I just think it's unsanitary. I don't want dog hair/dog smell around me. I actually like dogs. I'm so highly allergic to cats that I literally have to leave the room. I think the place for animals is in their homes, in their yards, and in proper carrying devices/on leashes when the need arises to take them out in public (walking, get them to the groomer, etc.).

    So I'd have real disdain for your neighbor. Enjoy your dog, but keep it on a close leash. Period.

    My sister's german shepherd lunged at a little girl in a stroller and the police took the dog away. They did get the dog back, but not after a fine and a warning. I felt the same way about my sister's dog that I feel about others: my sister should have kept her dog on a tight leash.

  11. #30
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DanZee
    Actually, the only thing I would comment on is it's easier to give the explanation "I'm afraid of dogs," rather than give people a long lecture about dogs and dog owner behavior. You're implying that all dog owners are rude and inconsiderate. The lecture makes you seem snobbish and condescending. On the other hand if you tell people you're afraid of dogs, they usually will keep their dogs in check and keep them closer to them (other than that other woman with her big dog). And you don't have to spend as much time and energy trying to convince dog owners you're not afraid of dogs because under their breath they're just going to comment that you are afraid of dogs and won't admit it.
    That's along the lines of what I was thinking. Why argue? It just makes an already unpleasant situation worse. You can't control what other people think of you. Strangers, neighbors, friends, enemies, no one. All you'll succeed in doing is discouraging people from sharing their opinions or feelings with you. If that's what you want, then good. But it's not the same as making them have a certain impression or opinion about you. They will just keep their original impression and not tell you about it.

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