Jump to content

Am i ready to have sex for the first time?


mariapapadop

Recommended Posts

I'm 17 years old and I'm a girl. Considering almost every girl my age is either starting to have sex, or has already started to, I started thinking if I would do it. Physically I'm 100% ready and I thought I was emotionally ready too, but I was never 100% sure about that. My mom has told me ever since I was a kid that if I'm ready I'll know it and I won't have any doubts, but I don't know if there is ever gonna be a right time and I think I'll always have some type of doubt, I mean you never know what could go wrong. It's not really urgent, because I don't have a boyfriend and I don't want my first time to be with a stranger, but there is this guy that we've went out a couple times and it's kind of going there, and I want to be sure that I want to do it if he tells me he wants to. how do I know I'm ready?

Link to comment
I'm 17 years old and I'm a girl. Considering almost every girl my age is either starting to have sex, or has already started to, I started thinking if I would do it. Physically I'm 100% ready and I thought I was emotionally ready too, but I was never 100% sure about that. My mom has told me ever since I was a kid that if I'm ready I'll know it and I won't have any doubts, but I don't know if there is ever gonna be a right time and I think I'll always have some type of doubt, I mean you never know what could go wrong. It's not really urgent, because I don't have a boyfriend and I don't want my first time to be with a stranger, but there is this guy that we've went out a couple times and it's kind of going there, and I want to be sure that I want to do it if he tells me he wants to. how do I know I'm ready?

 

NOT a good reason to have sex.

Sex comes with responsibilities and people become more responsible as they mature.

 

How do you know when you are ready?

When you fall deeply in love with someone and you are in a committed, monogamous relationship for period of time.

That's when you have sex.

 

NOT because you are of a certain calendar age and not because other girls are doing it.

Link to comment

Firstly, not "almost every girl" your age is having sex. I have a very close and open relationship with my nieces who are your age and I remember being 17 as well. A lot of girls you think are having sex are not. You say you went out a couple of times with a guy and it seems like its "going there". If you want my advice, i would wait to have sex when you not only feel physically ready but

 

1) You are not just going on dates, but have dated a young man for quite awhile, know his character and are in love with him.

2) You ask yourself "how will i feel the next day if I have sex with this particular guy tonight" will i be okay with my decision, even if he decides to not date me afterwards?

3) Can the guy you date take "no" for an answer and respect that you are not ready if you are not?

4) Do you know what ovulation is? Are you educated on your ovulation cycles and do you take regular tests just to educate yourself about your fertility and avoid fertile days

5) do you know how to prevent pregnancy?

6) what happens if you get pregnant. By accident?

7) Are you confident with saying no if a guy doesn't want to use a condom?

Link to comment
NOT a good reason to have sex.

Sex comes with responsibilities and people become more responsible as they mature.

 

How do you know when you are ready?

When you fall deeply in love with someone and you are in a committed, monogamous relationship for period of time.

That's when you have sex.

 

NOT because you are of a certain calendar age and not because other girls are doing it.

 

Some folks have great sex for the first time that is neither committed or monogamous.

 

OP the important part is you meet your own personal values. And since you don't have someone you want to have sex with right now it doesn't seem like it really matters. Relax.

Link to comment

Make sure you use protection from stds and have birth control. Why not wait until he's your bf and you are sure of things. You can start off with cuddling and other things first. Let things unfold in a way you are comfortable with.

I don't have a boyfriend but there is this guy that we've went out a couple times and it's kind of going there, and I want to be sure that I want to do it if he tells me he wants to. how do I know I'm ready?
Link to comment

The important thing is to approach it with a sense of fun and exploration, not of fear.

 

Of course you might feel nervous, but I mean just to not feel like you should do anything like that. You should study hard. You should respect everyone and treat others as you expect to be treated. You should use protection. But there is no should here... do it because you want to experience it and you're curious, not just to tick it off some list or get it out of the way.

 

When it's with curiosity, then there's no expectation. And that's more relaxing and more fun.

 

- Also you have the right to reevaluate decisions at any second.

Link to comment

I'm 18, so I know exactly what you're going through because I have so recently been through it myself. So I will give it to you straight.

DON'T do it just because you think you should because other girls are doing it.

I lost my virginity when I was 16, to a boy that I thought, AT THE TIME, was a very nice boy, that I was falling in love with (now I know much better). We had been dating for 3 months and he was always kind of pushing me to do it, making me think it was okay and normal. Anyways, I did it and he broke up with me 4 days later, so there's a lesson in that. Even if you think you are mature and ready enough for something like sex, he may not be. Boys at this age are crazy (mind you not all of them are, but a lot of them) and they think sex is a game.

Anyways, I can't say things got better for me after that, I took the path of "well, my virginity's gone and thats the only one that really matters anyways" and after that I didn't think sex was a big deal at all, and I slept around a little. Which IS TOTALLY FINE as long as that is what you want and as long as you are being safe!!! NO judgement there at all. But WHAT I CAN TELL YOU is that now, that I am in a real relationship, with a boy that I do actually love very much, I wish I had waited. I know it sounds cheesy but I do, and he tells me a lot of the time that he also wishes the same and it's because you may not realize it now, but sex is such an intimate thing NOT ONLY physically, but mentally too, and it makes you feel and think and do crazy things that you can't always understand and, depending on the person, you will grow very attached, in an actual chemical way in your brain.

SO, unless you think you are ready to deal with that, then no, do not have sex.

Link to comment

If you're still in high school, don't have sex. High school is like being in a fish bowl where everyone watches every little thing you do and then gossips about it. Everybody will have something to say about your hookup, usually not good things.

 

Once you're out of high school, peers couldn't really care less about what you do and no one is going to spread rumors or gossip about you. College is more about experimenting and finding out who you are, as a person and sexually as well.

 

I say if you're out of high school and feel like you want to have sex, go for it. Just remember that sex WILL get better over time, so don't be disappointed if your first time is awkward and doesn't feel like you expect it to. Girls kinda have to learn how to enjoy it, atleast I did (and all my friends lol).

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...