I feel lost, but I know I should stay

My fiance is great with our two year old daughter and loves me like crazy. We been together for four years, but I don't feel the same after just me working and have to keep the house clean. I had to do all the house duties. Sometime he is still asleep while our little one is running around. Sometimes he just shows me that he is lazy. He cooks and take care our little one and try to be passionate to me, but I don't feel it. One time I was really sick at work and try to contact him but never answered. How can I rely on him. The main problem is he can never wake up on time for things. He is more of a night owl then morning person that can get up on time. He never wants me to leave. He wants to make it work. What should I do?

Ask him to help out more around the house. Does he work?

My fiance is great with our two year old daughter and loves me like crazy.He cooks and take care our little one and try to be passionate to me, but I don't feel it.

No he doesn't work. I want to stay to be a family. He claims he want to work and that he been looking but not once I seen him call up for application process. I have asked him. That's what our arguments been about

I saw a graph today. On the X axis is motivation and on the y axis is stress. Imagine taking a c and making it upside down and putting it on the X axis - i.e., a little stress is required for progress.

Normally I think breaks are the lazy man's way to say "I want a breakup" but I think your SO needs a kick to get moving. I think you should tell him exactly what's bothering you and say you're leaving for a while to think about your relationship. See if he chases you. See if he promises to improve.

Are you supporting the family? Do you live with his or your parents? When did he lose his job? Does he do drugs/drink?

No he doesn't work. I want to stay to be a family. He claims he want to work and that he been looking but not once I seen him call up for application process. I have asked him. That's what our arguments been about

He doesn't drink or do drugs. I use to support the family. We live on our own. I just recently lost my job. I want to be in love with him again I just don't know how.

That sounds a lot like my sister. When she first got married, she said much the same things.

Not, ten years later, the only thing different is that she is 50 times more miserable.

Her husband is lazy. Doesn't work, doesn't clean, do laundry, take care of the house or anything.

In the ten years they've been married, I haven't seen him hold a job more than a few months.

Love and attraction go away when you are continually frustrated and disgusted at someone's laziness.

The longer you let things go, the worse he is going to get.

Honestly, the hard thing to do here is the correct choice: either man up and support this family or hit the road.

That's cold and blunt, but the longer you wait to lay the cards on the table, the worse things will be for you.

Sorry.

Tell him he needs to change if he wants it to work, set a deadline and what you expect of him, and if he doesn't and can't tell him it's done and he'll have to move out.

Otherwise this situation is going to just drag on into infinity with you being unhappy and him knowing there are no consequences to his actions. He'll keep making promises, but that gets really easy to do when there's no stick or carrot offered to someone to either get with the program or get gone.

And I say this, because talking hasn't changed a thing now has it.

How old is the kid? If under school age, then taking care of the kid and home is its own full time job.

Sadly he does not know better. It really is a problem. You need to find a NON NAGGING , NON NEEDY WAY TO EXPRESS WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOU.

Tell him that you feel sad, because you see things going in a direction that you never expected. Tell him that you want to work on turning things around. Ask him ifnyou can count on him to make things better (dont talk yet about what things). See if you can open a comminication that is constructive

I'm a night person, I like to go to bed at 4 a.m., nothing wrong with that. A person's circadian rhythms are what they are. Still, I raised a son on my own and managed to hold down two jobs and go to school at the same time. If someone is paying me, I get the hell out of bed. He's just lazy. Period.

He never wants me to leave. He wants to make it work.

Naaah, he doesn't want to make 'it' work, he just wants YOU to work.

I'd see an attorney for legal advice. This isn't an emotional problem, it's a practical one.

Why should he look for a job and change his ways when you make it so easy for him to basically freeload? There seems to be no real expectation that he get off his butt and help around the house and also get a job.

Does he not clean up the house at all?

I feel like this thread would be going in a much different direction had it been a man calling the mother of his child "lazy" for cooking and taking care of a two-year old. If we're talking you're coming home from work and vacuuming, washing all the dishes, and scrubbing the toilet all in the same evening, then I see your point. But I've seen no shortage of threads where a man does in fact come on here complaining he has to so much as pick up a sponge and [rightfully] gets an earful for it.

I'll be the first to judge a stay at home parent of a school-aged kid, and I'm not saying they'd be above scrutiny even before that point, but I'd like to know more details here.

My fiance is great with our two year old daughter and loves me like crazy. We been together for four years, but I don't feel the same after just me working and have to keep the house clean. I had to do all the house duties. Sometime he is still asleep while our little one is running around. Sometimes he just shows me that he is lazy. He cooks and take care our little one and try to be passionate to me, but I don't feel it. One time I was really sick at work and try to contact him but never answered. How can I rely on him. The main problem is he can never wake up on time for things. He is more of a night owl then morning person that can get up on time. He never wants me to leave. He wants to make it work. What should I do?

Taking care of a young child full time requires getting on that child's schedule (I was up at 5:54am this morning -got to sleep in about 15 minutes later than usual lol) or paying someone to do so. Period. My husband is a night owl and he works full time so we tag team it so that he can take care of our son more on his schedule -because he already works full-time and then some. He is great with our son too but being "great" if you are the full-time parent also requires being reliable, on time, consistent with the child's schedule.

Loving is giving - feeling in love is lovely of course but loving is giving. You are not motivated to be giving because you are feeling resentful. What I would do is tell him you're going to have to hire someone to do his job (take care of the child) or pay for day care if he chooses not to do his job of full-time parents. If he steps up to the plate and your resentment decreases I believe the love will return. If not, since he is great with your child, you separate and co-parent (not optimal for the child but better than the child being subjected to bad stress if that is what is happening).

When did he lose his job? Neither of you work? This isn't about love this is about both of you need to get jobs to support yourselves and your family, whether you stay together or not.

I use to support the family. I just recently lost my job.

The beginning of 2015

His and your more recent job losses must be causing a lot of stress, no?

The beginning of 2015

Yes it really does.

I find myself i a really similar situation my boyfriend is a night owl. No job, lazy, I don't live with him but I find myself cleaning up after him , etc. I know he loves me and I trust him but he is so lazy and it's just so annoying I have a job I go to school I do everything I can to make things work and he doesn't see it as a big deal. I doubt the next steps in our relationship because of his