My husband hates my parents

My husband and I are newlyweds and before we even became serious I Co signed a car for my mom due to Financial problems

My mom just so happened to be late 3 months and it totally messed up my credit . Now my husband hates her for messing up her daughters credit ! I don't know what to do

My mother is a good person and money is so tight and I thought I was doing a good thing , as a little girl , teenager even today at age 27 she's been amazing !! Heck she even paid for my wedding ... My husband is known for having anger issues .. He can be EVIL at times , he called her every name in the book

Even talking about her religion .. It hurts me so much to know that my husband is saying such cruel things about my mom , I know my mother messed up with not being honest and paying the car late .. He is even threatening me saying she's not allowed in our home .. My husband comes from money and he thinks life is easy , that is because he never had to work for thing because he always had it handed to him .. His even going so low to tell his parents that my parents have bad credit to just be mean and embrass them !! I love my family.. I love my husband but I don't no what to do , I suffer from aniexty all I can do is pray and hope God will change my husband .

Why did you marry someone you can describe as evil?

And you're married, so your credit being messed up does affect him. I don't agree with his behaviour, but I don't think it's wrong for him to be angry about this.

I'm upset too about my credit situation as well but I never knew a car would mess up a relationship with my parents n my husband

And yes at times my husband can be evil , I found out he had that streak in him on our honeymoon

I'm upset too about my credit situation as well but I never knew a car would mess up a relationship with my parents n my husband

 

And yes at times my husband can be evil , I found out he had that streak in him on our honeymoon

Conflating two issues here:

1. Your moms money troubles and your involvement.

2. Your husbands anger issues and your marriage.

You should be dealing with those separately.

Why didn't your mother tell you she missed the payments? That was very wrong!

Your husband sounds like a jerk! Where is your backbone! How can you allow him to talk about your family in that manner? he is not only disrespecting them, but he is also disrespecting you.

If you know that he has serious anger issues, then why are you putting up with it? I would tell him that he needs anger management counseling, or it's done. He will only get worse. This is emotional abuse.

What did he do on the honeymoon?

Conflating two issues here:

 

1. Your moms money troubles and your involvement.

 

2. Your husbands anger issues and your marriage.

 

You should be dealing with those separately.

This exactly.

It sounds like you don't know how to deal with your husband.

How long have you been married?

If you found out he had an evil streak on your honeymoon I would get the hell away far far away because it will get worse he was just hiding it to hope to marry you. And if he says your mother can't come to your house he's hoping now to isolate you from your parents. VERY VERY bad signs.

Yes ,what your mother did was wrong but your husband has glaring signs of becoming something worse than you imagine today.

all I can do is pray and hope God will change my husband .

You'll be waiting a long time for that to happen.

My dad's evil streak came out 3 weeks after my parents married. Take it from me RUN FAR AWAY.

Boundaries. Your husband will not change by some divine miracle...you need to make an appt with a marriage counselor. You need marriage counseling to sort out your own relationship, all that contempt you have for him and also why you are cosigning loans for your parents and where in-laws should fit in.

I love my family.. I love my husband but I don't no what to do , all I can do is pray and hope God will change my husband .

We've been married 5 months

I did think about leaving him once I came home from honeymoon

He is very jealous ( which never showed when we were together) so long story short we were at the gift shop and notice I was looking at a fire truck for my nephew to buy since he loves all firemen And cop stuff his 4 !! and my husband felt this type of way thinking I still had feelings for my ex which was a firemen and he went crazy !!! Broke the fire truck called me all names went back to the hotel room started to rip my bath suits up so I went go swimming it's was just horriable

He did end up apologizing but to this day it's still in my head

He was diagnosed for bipolar but now his just getting to the point that I'm popping in a xanex before I get home because I know his super upset with these car situation

When I co sign my husband wasn't in the picture

I totally learned my lesson I get it

My mom is in the process of getting rid of car to get the car off my name . But other than telling me ok, what u did was wrong never do it again I hope u learned ur lesson but no my husband just wants to argue n belittle my mom ... N it hurts , if it wasn't for mom I wanted be here today ! On the other hand when I look back at these whole situation I don't know if my marriage will last long

He won't get help no counseling nothing ! He thinks we're perfect !!!

We've been married 5 months

 

I did think about leaving him once I came home from honeymoon

He is very jealous ( which never showed when we were together) so long story short we were at the gift shop and notice I was looking at a fire truck for my nephew to buy since he loves all firemen And cop stuff his 4 !! and my husband felt this type of way thinking I still had feelings for my ex which was a firemen and he went crazy !!! Broke the fire truck called me all names went back to the hotel room started to rip my bath suits up so I went go swimming it's was just horriable

He did end up apologizing but to this day it's still in my head

He was diagnosed for bipolar but now his just getting to the point that I'm popping in a xanex before I get home because I know his super upset with these car situation

When I co sign my husband wasn't in the picture

I totally learned my lesson I get it

My mom is in the process of getting rid of car to get the car off my name . But other than telling me ok, what u did was wrong never do it again I hope u learned ur lesson but no my husband just wants to argue n belittle my mom ... N it hurts , if it wasn't for mom I wanted be here today ! On the other hand when I look back at these whole situation I don't know if my marriage will last long

He won't get help no counseling nothing ! He thinks we're perfect !!!

Girlfriend when he smashes a truck for a four-year-old and he starts tearing up your bathing suit you need to leave . I am sorry he's plain out nuts . You're going to end out abused before long .

If you didn't know he was bipolar before you got married, then you can get an official annulment. Cuz, that one scene on your honeymoon, crap, just wait till she's isolated you from your entire family, and whittle you down to nothing. Get out NOW!

And being bipolar doesn't automatically mean you should feel sorry for him and nor should he be abusive. Get out of this marriage today. Really.

Conflating two issues here:

 

1. Your moms money troubles and your involvement.

 

2. Your husbands anger issues and your marriage.

 

You should be dealing with those separately.

This. You have two serious, but separate, issues here.

You're in an abusive and extremely toxic relationship, and that should be the first issue you deal with - by getting the hell out of there.

This is not about cosigning a loan it is about a dysfunctional violent marriage replete with psychiatric problems. Why are you on meds to deal with his behavior? How do you know he's bipolar?

He was diagnosed for bipolar but now his just getting to the point that I'm popping in a xanex before I get home because I know his super upset. when I look back at these whole situation I don't know if my marriage will last long

On your honeymoon!

I think I can safely assume you didn't have much of a discovery period, (dating), or it was trapped, or he staged his behavior and background to trick you into marrying him. (Or all of the above.)

If so, you're not really married to him. (Non-marriage)

Genuine marriage has to be of free will, honest, with best intentions to abide to all promises/vows made.

He is an emotional abuser.

For it to manifest itself in the first days of marriage is very, very scary to me.

Your marriage is sad and SCARY!!! Get out before he hurts you!

This is not about cosigning a loan it is about a dysfunctional violent marriage replete with psychiatric problems.

And it's certainly not about your parents!

My friend dated someone for three years, and when they got married, she stopped taking her psych meds. She never told him her medical condition either. One day, they were talking about having kids together, and she said that if they did, she'd drown them in a bath tub. After 6 months of marriage, he had it annulled by NYS.

I feel like I'm trapped

He won't let me leave ! It's just not that easy

Yes. too separate issues. If money is tight for your mom and she cant make care payments - it doesn't help for you to cosign on a car she can't afford. if she can't afford a car, she needs to reassess her job situation, lease one, or buy a cheap wreck. Or take the bus. I would give this advice single or no - and if you cosign with someone - you are responsible for making that payment, too, and if mom couldn't - you had to back it up. So its not that mom wrecked your credit - you did too!

I feel like I'm trapped

He won't let me leave ! It's just not that easy

Then you make copies of all your important papers and smuggle them out of the house little by little. Have a safe place to take them. Leave at the same time everyday and come back. And one day, don't come back. Go to a shelter. or go to a relative's.

Is it an arranged marriage?

I feel like I'm trapped

He won't let me leave ! It's just not that easy