Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 21

Thread: Being with someone who is always negative!!!

  1. #1
    mizzterious

    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    Posts
    2

    Being with someone who is always negative!!!

    I can't stand talking to my boyfriend of a little over a year anymore. Everything that comes out of his mouth is a complaint about something insignificant, terrible things about other people, how he hates his job. It doesn't matter what he is talking about - it is always in a negative way.

    I can't talk to him anymore, it's so hard to have a conversation with someone who can't say anything nice. I consider myself a pretty positive and upbeat person and he really brings me down.

    As his girlfriend I should be there for him when he needs to vent and get his frusterations out. But that is all he has to say ever! He can go on and on for hours without saying a positive thing. If I try to talk about something else he will always have something negative to say about it. Its depressing!!!

    I have asked him why he can't say anything nice but he just blows me off. I have no intrest in even taking to him anymore. How can I tell him what his problem is?

  2. #2
    kuiks8

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Vancouver
    Posts
    3,221
    Gender
    Female
    You could try letting him know how it makes you feel when he is always negative. Stress to him how tiresome it is for you and that it is bringing you down and you don't want to put up with it anymore.
    Try an I feel statement
    When you are always NEGATIVE i FEEL stressed because I value positivity in life....something like that...
    name the behavior, say how it makes you feel and tell him why it bothers you...

  3. #3
    Mutley
    Platinum Member Mutley's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Location
    Ohio
    Age
    47
    Posts
    2,774
    Gender
    Male
    Thanked
    1
    My uncle is the same way. I'm going fishing with him tomorrow. Yesterday, I told him point blank...no talking politics. I will tell him again tomorrow morning.

    I can't stand that negative talk. It brings me down.

  4. #4
    CallingAllAngels
    Platinum Member CallingAllAngels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    5,177
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3
    Wow, that's a tough one because he's your boyfriend. Reminds me of my exhusband...he was the same way. No matter what he said, it was negative. If I tried to put a positive spin on it, he'd just get angry.

    Sorry I have no answer for you. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone.

    ~Allie

  5. #5
    whes
    Platinum Member whes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Location
    The land of the ice and snow
    Posts
    1,171
    Thanked
    1
    I have a friend like that, and it's hard to be around him sometimes. I feel like I have to work twice as hard just so I don't get into a bad mood too. It's so draining and I can't imagine if he were my boyfriend and having to deal with that on a regular basis.

    Not to sure if you can be the one to help him out of his negativity. My friend is almost chronically depressed and your bf sounds pretty similar to him. Everything just takes to much damn effort and what's the point, because I won't enjoy it anyway: his basic attitude.

    If I were you, I'd get out of the relationship, leave him to winge by himself, and be around people who are a bit more optimistic about life.

  6. #6
    Batya33
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Posts
    41,232
    Thanked
    2022
    I too have experience with those kinds of people (not my bf, thank goodness). what I suggest trying is, after he rants, say "tell me something good that happened today" - and if you have to repeat it like a broken record, do so.

  7. #7
    Crazyaboutdogs
    Platinum Member Crazyaboutdogs's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Age
    52
    Posts
    25,673
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    19
    There are some people who are just constantly negative about everything and unless they are willing to change there is not much anyone else can do except limit the time spent with that person or learn to tune it out. Clearly talking to your boyfriend is not working...he doesn't see that he has a problem. Your choices are 1) tune him out when he goes on a negativity rant 2) give him x amount of time to be negative about something and when he starts rambling on and on say something like "Anyway..." and then launch into a different topic. 3) end the relationship and find someone you enjoy hanging around.

  8. #8
    Victoria66
    Forum Supporter Victoria66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared
    Age
    49
    Posts
    29,314
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    3505
    Well, do you really want to work it out? If you do then tell him his negative attitude is a real downer and he could have therapy to fix that.I am more inclined to walk away from such people because I have heard it enough in my life and do not have the time of day for it. I guess it is if you want to work it out or no.

  9. #9
    lady00
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Age
    32
    Posts
    9,491
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    9
    I couldn't be with someone like this. Like you, it would drive me nuts. I have no advice other than to dump him. I'm not one of those people who thinks breaking up is always the answer but you have already addressed this and he blew you off. For me that would be the end of that. I would never leave a situation like this without first trying to talk about it. But if your guy doesn't want to hear it...makes me wonder what else in your relationship he refuses to hear you out about. Gotta have communication and people in relationships need to be able to share their views and have their input discussed and taken seriously. Otherwise, it's just a one-person show.

  10. #10
    charliebrown
    Bronze Member charliebrown's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    184
    Gender
    Female
    i've definitely been there before... my ex could not ever see the good in anything. i felt like everything that came out of his mouth was always a negative...even when good things happened he had something to complain about.

    some personalities are just that way, there might not be a lot you can do to change his perspective. i would recommend pointing it out every time he says something you can't stand (yes, you might wind up doing it every time he opens his mouth for awhile).

  11.  

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Top Threads
How to help my partner lose weight and get fit?
Hi everyone, Quick background: My boyfriend and I have been together for the last 5 years. I love him more than anything in the world, and he

Expert Advice
Featured Threads
Weird crazy breakup
Here goes. We was together 4 and a half years, lived together for the most of that with her grandparents, yeah moved in pretty quick because of
is my bf racist? is there a future?
I am a bit dumbfounded and confused.. pls comment.. I have been dating my bf for 3 years. I look asian and he looks european. Things have not always
Great conversation but she Ghosted me?!
When I asked for her phone number, she kinda looked at me (the really dude? face). I knew it was over, but seriously it bothers me that we had a
My Girlfriend's Extreme Anger and Dramatic Behavior Are Ruining Our Relationship
This is gonna be a long one. Bear with me.. Okay, so this is my absolute first post on any forum ever. I am a 21 year old male, and I am currently in
Wrapping your head around an incurable condition
How does one do that ? While my condition is not fatal it is incurable and my life quality will steadily deteriorate over time. Most possible will
My mom kept a secret for 28 years
I'm 28 years old, my mom always told me to not sleep around, said she never slept w anyone till she got married, etc. well randomly tonight she tells
Confusing relationship with ex
So my ex and I broke up about 3 months ago. There was a lot of hurt, I was really depressed for the first weeks until I got back on my feet and
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •