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lady00

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Everything posted by lady00

  1. Moderator's Note: Please refrain from using netspeak. Thanks.
  2. I've lost count. For the first time in my life I've been able to cut off contact completely. I have not spoken to him since the day that we had our final talk about the relationship. In that sense, it feels good. Also, knowing that that was the last straw for me and that I'm giving up dating--is quite a relief actually.
  3. No, I have no desire to most of the time. Casual acquaintances that talk every now and again? Sure. Friends? No.
  4. If she is serious about making the relationship work, she needs to stop all contact with her boss. The only way for her to do that is to quit her job. I think she should if she's serious about being committed to you.
  5. Maybe the success story is still there--you got away from an unhealthy relationship that wasn't working. That is success.
  6. How did this thread get resurrected? I hope the OP dumped the guy...like 4 years ago LOL!
  7. I think there are very few actual commitment phobes out there. You may be one of them. But I truly believe it's rare. I've seen tons and tons of examples in real life and on these boards where someone appears to be a commitment phobe, says they are one, and it leads to a breakup, then the person goes on to marry someone else. So, that is why I think most people who say they are commitment phobes really aren't. The anxiety you speak of sounds like a diagnosable, and probably treatable, condition, though I'm certainly no expert. Wheras I think a lot of people claim to be commitment phobic when they're really not.
  8. This is a very old thread. I think the OP is long gone.
  9. I've gone back and forth on this issue throughout my the period since I started dating and I've come to the conclusion that I don't believe CPs exist. I believe people who are commitment phobic don't want to be with the particular person they are with. OK, maybe there are a handful of true commitment phobics out there but I think they are outnumbered by people who just don't want to commit to certain people but who would happily commit if they were with the right person.
  10. I'm not doing NC anymore. Broke it yesterday, had a long talk. I just don't feel the need to do NC anymore. Won't be calling him on a regular basis or seeing him at all but I may call him once in a while (maybe once in six months or whatever) if I feel like it. I know his feelings will never change, so I give up on that.
  11. Well...talking to him didn't really hurt any more than I was already hurting. I think for me, I knew the response I was going to get and I finally realized that he will never ever ever have feelings for me because he's just hard-wired not to for some reason despite how great he thinks I am. I also realized I will never understand him so I am giving up trying. I told him that I really liked him and wanted to date him and we are on fine terms so if he seems me he can say hello but aside from that I am trying to forget my feelings and move on. So, for me the contact was not a bad thing and did not hurt me more than I was already hurting. If anything, it finally made me realize that he will just never have feelings for me and that he can't explain why so I should just stop trying to understand why.
  12. Well the reason my ex can talk to me is that he has no feelings for me, so it's easy for him to talk to me. Sounds like your ex still needs time to get over things.
  13. We talked for a long time and he re-explained how he just wasn't feeling it between us and he couldn't give any kind of logical reason for it and that I had all the qualities he was looking for, and still he just didn't have those feelings. Oh, well, that is what I expected. It still hurts to hear that, even after so long but I have been trying to move on, date others, just haven't met anyone like him, yet.
  14. I texted...he responded. We are going to talk later. He is such a sweet human being. Urgh. I am not feeling so great (physically ill today unfortunately and I think that is adding to my confusion about life).
  15. Losing it here...wanting to speak with him...probably will...I suck at life
  16. Day 20something. Had my weak moments for sure but have amazing friends so I'm working it out...
  17. LOL...he's beginning to look a bit pathetic, no? Each time I see you post about a new IM he sends, I think to myself "when is this guy going to give it a rest?!"
  18. Good way of putting it. That is what it feels like!
  19. Super lame of him. He needs to just let you be.
  20. Hi LilBear...I've done this before and I don't recommend it...it set me back. I think you will know when you are strong enough. When you are strong enough and have moved on, you will not feel any need to see whether or not you're vulnerable to him...you won't even be thinking about him.
  21. I also had a weird dream about my ex. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I woke up thinking about him and I know the dream was about a breakup.
  22. I think I'm on day 11 or 12 or something...lost count. Haven't seen him in two or three weeks.
  23. About a week. A bit sad today and Valentine's day I had some sad moments, but overall...doing well and not regretting my decision to do NC.
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