Members Sound Off - Should females have equal representation in proposing marriage?

[Day_Walker]

It doesnt matter to me who gets down on one knee. I will say that tradition has a lot to do with it. I dont know many woman who are brave enough to do it.

[CarnelianButterfly]

It doesnt matter to me who gets down on one knee. I will say that tradition has a lot to do with it. I dont know many woman who are brave enough to do it.

So now its a matter of bravery? I know more women who want to get married and are brave enough to make that commitment, but its the guys chickening out all the time that won't say yes.

[Scout]

So now its a matter of bravery? I know more women who want to get married and are brave enough to make that commitment, but its the guys chickening out all the time that won't say yes.

 

That's why it's a matter of bravery. Odds are he'll say no. It takes guts to ask, because in our society, this is viewed as the man's job. And with that comes the implicit agreement, that "when HE is ready, HE'LL ask." Not exactly a fair arrangement, but that's how things for the most part are.

[Fivek]

Although this would be a sign of the times changing (indeed), the reality of it still remains very, very far away. Tradition still plays a very influential part of our lives.

 

(Source: Question #4)

[Sean]

I actually would not mind if my girlfriend got down on her knee and asked me to marry her. I think it would take some of the pressure off the guys if girls proposed to their boyfriends more.

[Dako]

I had an untraditional marriage.

She carried me over the threshold to our new home.

We both didn't want kids.

She made the big bucks, except when I put her through school.

I fixed the cars instead of writing a check.

She went out drinking with the boys.

I picked up after her around the house.

She hated shopping, so I did it.

Our families never met.

And so on.

If she had proposed, it would've been right in line with things.

 

You can make it up as you go along and design your own life.

Many do.

[Daddy Bear]

the question of whether or not females in modern society have the RIGHT to propose was settled long ago. however, it is still nowhere near as common as total equality would dictate.

 

i can understand one reason that some women would be unwilling to propose. there is a stereotype which depicts all females as marriage-obsessed and men to be less enthusiastic. of course, in reality this is not universal, although many (dare i say most?) girls are raised with the expectation of the gallant suitor down on one knee.

 

but if you ladies truly want to be our equals (and not our superiors, as it stands now) then there should be no exceptions. join us on the battlefield. propose to me, if you get to it before i do. no, i'll cook tonight; you can change the oil in the Studebaker.

 

i have learned that a marriage is a heavy puppy, and not something to be entered into through a portal of fantasy and unrealistic expectations. maybe a betrothal should be a matter of two people in a relationship talking over the ramifications and indicating their respective readiness. the thrill of the moment of agreement would still be there.

[Scout]

i have learned that a marriage is a heavy puppy, and not something to be entered into through a portal of fantasy and unrealistic expectations. maybe a betrothal should be a matter of two people in a relationship talking over the ramifications and indicating their respective readiness. the thrill of the moment of agreement would still be there.

 

Beautifully said. Take note, Bridezillas! (And any Groomzillas...if you're out there.

[brando]

Not only do i think this is a good idea for women to feel comfortable proposing, i think they should approach guys more often as well. And feel what rejection can be like if shot down.

 

And perhaps men would feel what it is like to be approached, more frequently.

[itsallgrand]

You can make it up as you go along and design your own life.

Many do.

 

Thanks Dako. That's what I was trying to say. lol.

[monkey1]

I just asked my boyfriend if he would be bothered if I asked him to marry me and he said "no, why should i? you know i love you." So there's one vote for a guy accepting a woman's proposal! He said "we're not the most conventional of couples. the way I see it, is that if it was right for us to be married, we'd both know, and so it would really be a joint decision.

 

Honestly, I thought he was going to say "Er, no. I'd rather propose to you." But really, since I'm the one who's the "slower" one of us when it comes to commitment and such, he'd probably say yes in a heartbeat if I asked him. Though I'd be too chicken. So he'd probably have to do the asking

[SarahRose]

What if the woman asked and he says NO!

[yeawutever]

What if the woman asked and he says NO!

 

Sad story, but it would have been the same if the guy were to ask and she say "No", that she's not ready. Both would be sad story.

 

[Lady Bugg]

I am DEFINETELY in favor of being proposed to. Call me old fashioned in that sense....it just seems more romantic to me

[PRSOV]

I would never accept a proposal from a female, that just isn't right...

 

I would be regretful for that forever!

[robowarrior]

I would flip out!

 

I have no idea wether i would say yes or no, but i wouldn't reject the action. I would admire that woman for her courage, i don't believe in the old fashionate (a man should do all of it) anymore, that's overtaken. I love and stimulate the creativity of woman nowadays. If they want to ask men to marry them, go ahead =)

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I don't have anything against the principle of a woman proposing.

 

But I wouldn't.

 

Mainly because I'd always wonder "would he have asked me if I hadn't asked him?"

 

I'd then think "I bet he wouldn't" and I'd cry and cry.

[dpressedone89]

i always thought a guy getting on a knee and proposing was a symbol that the woman was so important he is willing to sacrifice pride and masculinity. not my oppinion but i thought that was why guys did that. I think a woman could ask but i wouldnt like it much if it were happening to me

-stitches

blessed be the innocent

[musicguy]

I think that it's a good thing. I mean it shouldn't ALWAYS be the guy proposing. I'd be shocked if a girl proposed to me

[PocoDiablo]

(1) not reading the 7 pages of results and (2) thinking ... wow, what has the world come to?

 

This whole topic strikes me as a reversal of roles. It strikes me as a failure of the human race, the roles of men to actually act like men, it strikes me as an excuse for guys to not have to learn how to be a great man, to take that step - that HUGE risk of being rejected - that huge chance of being so great that a woman is treated in a way that is chivalrous [sp?] and mature, to push yet *another* reposnsibility onto a woman.

 

I really take issue with this. Too many times have I seen men that want the woman to ask him on the date (by virtue of giving her HIS number), waiting for HER to make the first move, all stuff like that.

 

WHat happened to being bold, taking a risk, understanding that rejection is part of the process of growing, learning, falling FLAT on your face and accepting the reality that not all women are going to like you because you have the social skills of an eight-year-old?

 

The funny thing I saw was that well over 97% of women have never proposed to their boyfriend. Doesn't this speak for something?

 

Men need to act more mature, need to grow up, need to be worthy of the attnetions and affections of the women they are courting, not cop out and expect women to assume both the role of male and female.

 

In my opinion.

 

/Rant

 

(Okay, blast me now. )

[Psylocke960]

I was very much in love with my ex and was on the verge of asking him to marry me (A year before we broke up and we were together for 4 1/2 years)Anyway, I started looking for engagement rings for him and kept wondering how I wanted to ask him. Basically, I thought just doing it out of the blue would be best since he wouldn't have any idea what was going on. Besides, I think it's more romantic that way instead of coming up with some plan that might not always work out. To each their own though.

 

Well, I couldn't pull through with it and decided to wait another year. Anyway, we're no longer together, so I guess it just wasn't meant to happen between us.

[Dako]

In my humble opinion, in those terrible days when feminism was alive and well, some of us men felt it would also liberate men from playing a role dictated by a paternal society. In that sense, the revolution was derailled. I suppose to those younger folks familiar only with the backlash to feminism, it sounds ridiculous.

A dream deferred, as Langston might say.

[Cute Band Rat]

> Well said...well said!!!!!!!!

[DN]

If men are supposed to act like men - how are women supposed to act?

[Cute Band Rat]

I am not old fashioned at all....Women have come such a long way , but I think there is STILL a place for men to be men and women to be women. I believe proposing marriage is one of those traditions that shouldn't be screwed with. Why should it? It's seemed to work this long, why rock the boat now? I personally feel like if I NEED to resort to asking a man to marry me..then he most likely doesn't want to anyway. It's not the natural "order" of things.