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musicguy

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Everything posted by musicguy

  1. the reason why we weren't married yet was because of money. Her parents are kinda crappy when it comes to money whereas my parents are good with their money (atleast my dad is) I guess the thought of marriage and a family stressed her out
  2. thorough my confusion and shock she said that I told her she could take one of the cats and that I could have the other one
  3. It takes her awhile to "process" stuff when it comes to questions that I ask her. What was stated were things I needed to do to change or feelings that she had been having while I was giving her her space. Communication was a big problem for us. She wanted marriage and kids, just not right now. She thought I was pushing the kid deal because I'm in my 40's. Her family was unaware of the break up until after we did
  4. the reason why we weren't married yet was because of money. Her parents are kinda crappy when it comes to money whereas my parents are good with their money (atleast my dad is) I guess the thought of marriage and a family stressed her out
  5. A lot of the furniture was hers when she moved out of her moms house. As for Lucy, I did tell her that the cats should not be separated, but she didn't care about my other cats feelings because Lucy was her baby, even though her sister already has two cats.
  6. Hi! I have been a member of this site for a very long time, but haven't posted anything until now. I'm 40 and I was with a 26 year old. We were together for 6 years (engaged for 3 years) and it all ended about a month ago. She moved out 2 weeks ago and took off with my other cat. Anyway, in the last year romance wasn't there and intimacy wasn't there either. I work 55 hours a week 1 FT job, 1 PT job) and she worked 25 or so hours, so I got tired quite a bit after work (we had different work schedules, but we were together a lot quite a bit after I got off work at 12:30pm. She has anxiety and depression which caused her to miss a lot of work. It took her time to process things and the right words to say when I asked her "what's wrong". Anyway. Here's comes August 30th. She had been hanging out at her moms place for quite a few days. I had my 3rd anniversary at my workplace (Aug 30th) then she came home that night and dropped a bombshell on me. She wrote this 2 page letter saying that she was unhappy in the relationship and she was breaking up with me. We talked and cried a lot, so 4 hours later she came back and wanted to work things out. She comes back crying and tells me things I should do to change or make things better for our relationship. My ex-fiancee stays at her moms house for a week, then the following Sunday she, once again, writes me a letter, saying that it's completely over, then tells me that she is taking my other cat Lucy. (We got 2 cats in the beginning of our relationship). On Monday she sends me a message on Facebook asking me if I am at work (which I was) and proceeds to tell me that she has a moving truck ready and is moving out. I get home to a nearly empty apartment. I have to say my good-byes to Lucy (bawling my eyes out). Her dad, sister and her come back to the apartment and I say my good-byes to all of them. (everyone is crying) Because in the 6 years that we were together I was VERY close to her family. My mom had come into town the following week so they said their good-byes to her as well. So here I am in a nearly empty apartment and my other cat just lost his sibling. I didn't sleep or eat for days. I have no bed or barely any furniture now and my cat is looking for his sibling. I am in the process of getting another cat right now. I am just so confused about everything. and trying to be civil with my ex. The thing is that she is a great, wonderful woman, we had a great relationship, barely fought or argued, I mean we had our little disagreements on things, but what couple doesn't? I have nothing bad to say to her and she has nothing bad to say about me. She said that she broke up with me because we are on two different paths. I want a family and kids right now and she's not ready. I am set in my ways and she has specific goals she wants to do. I dunno, I'm just pretty depressed and heartbroken for me and my cat and it sucks a lot. I haven't felt this way since I got dumped after my first relationship when I was 19. I am having a hard time healing.:icon_sad: Thanks for taking the time to read this.
  7. The Girl In My Dreams There's a woman out there with a heart of gold, her eyes are as bright as the sunrise. I will give her my heart I'll give her my soul. She will get the love she deserves and will get treated like a queen. She will be in my thoughts and be in my dreams. I will protect her and comfort her when her tears fall. She'll be my angel, my heaven. My everything.
  8. In a dream I see a girl who's beautiful, with beautiful ink. She captures my heart and captures my soul. She's sweet as can be, she's amazing in every way. Her smile makes me smile, her laugh makes me laugh. When i look into her eyes I see the heavens. she's my dream girl
  9. I look at the cuts on my wrists and see, the pain, rejection being hurt constantly. The emotional abuse, and same lines I hear, I feel so ugly it's perfectly clear. My heart's been broken, torn, ripped out and shattered. but who really cares. I walk in the shadows I cower in fear, but no one understands the pain that I feel, the pain that's so real. My cuts tell a story, but as you can see, the cuts on my wrists are just a part of me. Musicguy © Dec.2008
  10. I thought that you loved me, betrayed like the rest of them, my heart is bleeding, my soul is dying. lied to, and played with, games are for children. Gave you everything you need, sacrificed things just to be with you. your kiss was poison, your touch was deadly. these cuts on my wrists are reminders of you, see my scars, look inside cuz my heart's scarred too. it hurts more each time. in burns deep inside, it killed me when you lied. lost all trust in you.
  11. I take the knife and slit my wrist and watch the blood flow down my arm. I feel this emptiness inside wash away my sorrow. Gone today and gone tomorrow. Gone forever. Drowning from a broken heart sifting through the ashes of who I used to be. and now I'm a ghost haunting you. Gone today, gone tomorrow, gone.... forever.
  12. You ended us with a kiss, the poison, the kiss of death. leaving nothing but dust and ashes. We've faded away in the darkness, our love vanished, the lonely path in front of us. Your face seen in the distance as you look back at me with tears in your eyes. A trail of broken hearts and broken dreams drop behind you. all is gone in the blink of an eye. Musicguy ©Sept. 2008
  13. I feel you underneath my skin It's taken me years to find out who you really are, the lies, the hurt, thinking that you were real all the time you were just fake. Seeing other guys behind my back, telling me you love me to my face, taking guys back to your place, you're arms wrapped around me when you come home. Your body's cold, your lips are poison your love is a lie. Time to let you go. Musicguy © July/2008
  14. You're the missing piece of my puzzle, the other half of my heart, you're the one, you're the one I wanna be with. you're the voice inside my head, nothing else matters to me but you. when I'm with you I feel so safe that nothing bad will happen because of you I wake each day with a smile that stretches for miles. you're my queen and I am your king in the kingdom we call love Musicguy©Jun 2008
  15. Baby, I see the heaven in your eyes, right where we are just you and me. In my arms you feel safe and warm. Your kiss is forever, your love is eternal. Every time I see you smile my heart skips a beat, I feel the rush of your love when you touch me. You are my one and only the love of my life. Musicguy ©Jun.2008
  16. I'm picking up the pieces of this broken heart, the trail of tears behind me, questions running through my head, "it's not you, it's me" that burns in my mind like a match on dry timber. I feel weak, empty and lost without you, but as I drag my knees on the ground I try to pick myself up and stand strong. I am powerful, I am not gonna let this take me down. I am better than this. I will not fall Musicguy ©Jun.2008
  17. You taught me how to throw a ball, we went outside to do bird calls, and used to watch the deer next to the house. You saw me struggle at birth, my brush with death as a premmie baby, my life hanging in the balance. I ran into things, I ate from the floor, my face was a mess, my hand barely reaching the door. But as I grew older we drifted apart. You were always working, and were sort of there. Then my world fell around me when you and mom split, and my brother left too. I thought everything was my fault. Throughout those years, even though you live 10 minutes away we were still not that close. So here I am now, writing this here to you. Trying to get back what we had in the past, a love that will always last. We have had our differences, our fights, but I still love you dad and that will never change. Musicguy© June-2008
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