Come along for Losts online dating adventure!

[lostandhurt]

So I have been threatening to try online dating again after not using it for a long time.  My idea was to meet women in real life which I did but sporadically and it just isn't like it used to be since everyone has their nose in their phones which makes it hard to strike up a conversation or catch their eye.  So last night I finished up my profile on Match and made it visible and thought I would take you all along for the ride. My expectations are pretty much right in the middle and I am hopeful to be pleasantly surprised. 

Day one:  I didn't send any messages out last night because it was late and I was happy to just get the Black Friday deal on Match. 

Day two:  I know I am the new guy on the site and will probably get some attention which I have according to my email. 2 messages, 1 super like and 2 likes. Day two just started and I have to get outside and get xmas decorations up so I will check back in this evening and go into detail.  

Wish me luck

Lost

[Wiseman2]

3 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

. Day two:  I know I am the new guy on the site and will probably get some attention which I have according to my email. 2 messages, 1 super like and 2 likes. Day two just started and I have to get outside and get xmas decorations up so I will check back in this evening and go into detail.  

Sounds great 👍 Good luck!

[Batya33]

Good luck!!!!

[Andrina]

You deserve the best! Sending good luck vibes your way.

[mylolita]

Lost! 
 

We haven’t spoke but, best of luck - seriously! There may be MAGIC IN THE AIR! 
 

But, I am going to pretend I didn’t read what I thought I read which was, you hinting at the ErReCtInG of certain festive DECORUM when it is, ahem, let me check, still NOVEMBER 🌚 ?!

 

I mean, I don’t mean to be forward but, 🚩??? 
 

😉🤣

 

x

[Kwothe28]

I dunno how "Match" works. Is it "swipping" like any other dating app or some other system? You said you got the messages so does that mean you got a "match" or the app allows you to message whoever you want?

Also, I dunno about this dating app, but everybody says "the turkey gets cold quite quickly"(Thanksgiving pun, sorry) when it comes to matching. So you better not wait that much to message after matching or after they send you one themselves. 

[mylolita]

It’s not very often I think this, but times like these? Ohhhh, to be a man! 
 

🚬 🥴

[Capricorn3]

7 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Wish me luck

Wishing you the very best of luck!  If anyone deserves it, it is you.  🤞

[HeartGoesOn]

All the best, Lost!

[lostandhurt]

7 hours ago, mylolita said:

Lost! 
 

We haven’t spoke but, best of luck - seriously! There may be MAGIC IN THE AIR! 
 

But, I am going to pretend I didn’t read what I thought I read which was, you hinting at the ErReCtInG of certain festive DECORUM when it is, ahem, let me check, still NOVEMBER 🌚 ?!

 

I mean, I don’t mean to be forward but, 🚩??? 
 

😉🤣

 

x

It isn't just any decoration it takes 3 people to put up so I have to work with availability of my friends. 35 foot 24 string computerized tree with a big star on top.  Took most of the day to get ready and then stand up plus some beers after.

 Lost

[lostandhurt]

5 hours ago, mylolita said:

It’s not very often I think this, but times like these? Ohhhh, to be a man! 
 

🚬 🥴

It is tough out here for men so be careful what you wish for...

Lost

[lostandhurt]

6 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dunno how "Match" works. Is it "swipping" like any other dating app or some other system? You said you got the messages so does that mean you got a "match" or the app allows you to message whoever you want?

Also, I dunno about this dating app, but everybody says "the turkey gets cold quite quickly"(Thanksgiving pun, sorry) when it comes to matching. So you better not wait that much to message after matching or after they send you one themselves. 

Match allows subscribers to send messages to just about anyone that doesn't have their profile set to private.  No real swiping but they do send you a list of possible matches you can like or skip.  I am not worried about someone losing interest in a day or so and if they do they weren't that interested in the first place. 

Lost

[lostandhurt]

Day two continued.

First off thank you all for the well wishes and luck.

 4 messages and 10 likes which I am sure will be the most I will ever get in a day being the new guy in town.

 3 messages wrote something nice and had a question the 4th just said Hi which all are fine with me as they show interest.  Ages were 50, 61, 62 and 65 but none of them give me that excited feeling and I am pretty sure I have met the 65 yr old some years back somewhere.  I know myself enough now to know if I have to convince myself to reply and start a conversation I shouldn't. I did that in the past and it never worked out so now I will trust myself. 

 I will try and spend some time early tomorrow morning reading profiles and sending out a message if I see someone I find interesting.

 I kind of feel bad not responding with a very polite no thank you to the messages I have received but I have been told on here many times it is not needed so I won't.  Feels rude though...

  Lost

[poorlittlefish]

I used to reply with a brief message, but sometimes the other person would start giving me reasons why I should think again (if they live 2 hours away it's just not practical as far as I'm concerned) and occasionally I'd receive sarcasm or personal insults.  This is why I no longer send replies.

Having seen your topic I thought maybe it was time for me to give Match another try, but as they have literally doubled the subscription fee in the UK, I shall give it a miss.  Good luck with finding someone nice.

[Batya33]

When I used to date/try to date around the holiday season we all knew about the "black out days" meaning the days right around the major holidays where it was understandable a new person likely wouldn't make a plan -like for NYE - or even call if he/she was traveling or with family. What I did like was if I baked cookies around that time it was a nice -not overdone (in any way overdone lol) little gift to bring someone I'd been out with a few times.

[lostandhurt]

6 hours ago, poorlittlefish said:

used to reply with a brief message, but sometimes the other person would start giving me reasons why I should think again

Yes I have been down that road and even had them get mad at me and say less than nice things.  I get it I guess because you send out a message and get excited when you get a reply only to read it and it says no thanks.  I am sure women get hundreds of messages they just delete so they get it I am sure.

I got a 3 month deal for 20 bucks a month American. The subscription is the cheapest part of dating 🤪

Lost

[lostandhurt]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

When I used to date/try to date around the holiday season we all knew about the "black out days" meaning the days right around the major holidays where it was understandable a new person likely wouldn't make a plan -like for NYE - or even call if he/she was traveling or with family. What I did like was if I baked cookies around that time it was a nice -not overdone (in any way overdone lol) little gift to bring someone I'd been out with a few times.

I make some killer Zucchini muffins but she is going to have to be pretty special for me to part with my muffins.  I am a pretty patient guy that is understanding so if someone doesn't get back to me right away or is busy it doesn't bother me. 

Lost

[lostandhurt]

Day 3

Spent some time reading profiles and one caught my eye so I sent her a message.  Granted I feel like I am swinging for the fences on this one but we shall see.  She is 50 years old but her profile was pretty thin on info so coming up with talking points took me a moment.  Luckily I have been down this road before so my expectation level is more along the lines of being surprised when I get a response and less disappointment when I don't. 

I will update tonight.

Lost

[Batya33]

19 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

I make some killer Zucchini muffins but she is going to have to be pretty special for me to part with my muffins.  I am a pretty patient guy that is understanding so if someone doesn't get back to me right away or is busy it doesn't bother me. 

Lost

I had a date the week of Christmas in the 90s -I think I'd actually met him in person at a party (he later ended it after 3 dates as I was too normal he said -he'd ended things with his ex fiancee when he learned at an engagement party she'd lied about her age) - I gave him half a dozen of my famous from scratch chocolate chip cookies and when he asked why only 6 I explained I wasn't "easy".  Good thing I didn't waste more on him 😉

Zucchini muffins are awesome.

[JoyfulCompany]

Best of luck, Lost.

I absolutely wish that you soon meet a person who you easily click with, who is willing to meet you halfway in all things dating (and life), who feels exciting and meaningful to spent time with. On or offline.

Even if it doesn't happen right away, I found that, at least for myself, joining OLD felt like making a small step forward. Warming up to the idea of actively dating again IS a step forward.

From my latest attempts to meet someone in an app I noticed men have become very passive. Even if we matched (meaning they liked my profile and I liked theirs), they wouldn't write first. I think this assumption that women get a lot of attention might be quite stifling. Maybe it depends from app to app, but on the one I last was, I could set some filters what people the app shows to me but on the other hand it showed me to all kinds of people. Meaning a ton that I certainly wouldn't consider in terms of geography, religion, wether they want kids, etc. Which made me super annoyed because I could actually loose someone interesting in the sea of people I don't want to even be shown to.

So, if you find some nice profiles and you match, shoot. I did write first a couple of times.

It might take time, I do believe in luck in those situations. So do what you feel like doing, talk to whom you feel like talking. Have some patience. Stay hopeful without being all wired up. I think you know all of that. But, yeah, totally rooting for you.

[lostandhurt]

9 hours ago, JoyfulCompany said:

t might take time, I do believe in luck in those situations. So do what you feel like doing, talk to whom you feel like talking. Have some patience. Stay hopeful without being all wired up. I think you know all of that. But, yeah, totally rooting for you.

Thank you so much for your well wishes and kind words.

 I don't really go by the matches they pick or any of that since I do the homework myself.  I am looking forward to being pleasantly surprised.

 Lost

[lostandhurt]

Day 3 continued.

No response from the message I sent this morning. She hasn't viewed my profile and I just checked and she is not an active subscriber so she must use Match on the free weekend deals I guess. She is a write off.

 Received 3 messages but once again no one I am interested in. Ages 62, 59 and 56 if you are interested. The 56 year old is pretty and seems nice but she is looking for a man that is way more religious than I am. 

3 more likes but no sparks...

 I get up pretty early so I think I will look through profiles and send out a message each morning as way of keeping me rolling on this OLD thing.

 Lost

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

 I just checked and she is not an active subscriber so she must use Match on the free weekend deals I guess. 3 more likes but no sparks...I get up pretty early so I think I will look through profiles and send out a message each morning as way of keeping me rolling on this OLD thing.

That's a great system.  I think using dating apps takes some patience and self discipline, and you have both. Can you see if someone is a paying member or if it's a stale inactive profile? 

[lostandhurt]

2 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

That's a great system.  I think using dating apps takes some patience and self discipline, and you have both. Can you see if someone is a paying member or if it's a stale inactive profile? 

It says "Subscriber" on their profile so I assume that means they have an active subscription.  Match does a lot of free weekend deals trying to get people to subscribe.  I think there is very limited access for them so they get pushed towards paying so they can interact more. 

Lost

[smackie9]

Well it's a great time of year to go out and do stuff, holiday light displays, food venders on the streets, ice skating, window shopping, etc. 

I say shut down on the analyzing and just keep hope/positive...and yes be picky....it only takes one to be the one! Always put your best foot forward no matter what.