Come along for Losts online dating adventure!

[lostandhurt]

On 1/13/2024 at 6:00 AM, Sindy_0311 said:

Somehow it felt more authentic than starting a conversation on a dating app. I highly suggest you try this...

I do not have a personal IG account.  One of my profile pics is me on my You Tube channel and one woman asked if she could get a link to check it out.  She could see me in all my glory from every angle and hear me talking away.  I have nothing to hide and will share anything asked of me.

I am pretty sure Match and others block any reference to links or email or phone numbers these days.  I used to see it years back but now I haven't seen it once.  Messaging you can certainly send links or addresses, just not on your profile.

Super happy you met someone and it is going well.

Lost

[lostandhurt]

On 1/13/2024 at 1:33 PM, reinventmyself said:

I have a couple friends who have used the Facebook dating feature.

Haven't been on FB in at least 5 years and do not miss it one little bit.  FB market place is pretty cool from what I hear.  Maybe the dating thing is too.

Lost

[lostandhurt]

11 hours ago, beatlesfan77 said:

The mission of the group is to get people away from swiping apps and OLD in general.

Sounds like a great idea.  Let me know how it works out when they restart.

Lost

[BeaTlesFan77]

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

Haven't been on FB in at least 5 years and do not miss it one little bit.  FB market place is pretty cool from what I hear.  Maybe the dating thing is too.

Lost

You’re better off for that. It’s a time sucker.  

[BeaTlesFan77]

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

Sounds like a great idea.  Let me know how it works out when they restart.

Lost

Thank you and I sure will. 

[lostandhurt]

Day 57

 So I have been widening my search hoping to see someone I missed or for some reason weren't in my search criteria.   One of which is "has photos".  I removed all the filters and figured I would scroll through women that smoke or were not single and on and on and I saw several profiles without a profile picture but one caught my eye so I scrolled down in her profile to read about her.  Guess what?  She had pics but not a main profile pic.  I started scrolling down on all profiles without a main pic and found about 30% had pics.  Not sure why they are doing that and unfortunately none were what I am interested in but it was good to know that is a thing.

 So Match sends you "Highlights" and you can click through them one by one and I saw a woman I was interested in reading her profile so I clicked and got to her profile and wanted to send her a message but there was no way to send her a message.  Turns out Match only lets you send someone a message that is in your highlights if you send them a Super Like first and yep you guessed it super likes are not free.  They give you one like once a month or something.  So I thought  I would out smart them and simply search for her profile.  I put a tight age range and hit search, she wasn't there.  I put her exact age and closed the distance  so her profile had to turn up and still nothing.  I tried searching for every woman in my Highlights and they were all excluded by match so I had to Super Like them to open up a message window to send a message.  This doesn't seem right to me for two reasons.  1. If they disclosed this it has to be in very small print when I signed up that not all people on Match can be found by searching public profiles.  Secondly if they put my profile in "Highlights" and some woman wants to message me she has to pay extra.  Not cool.  I actually got a message about 2 weeks after I signed up and the woman said she had to super like me to send me a message, at the time I didn't understand what she meant but now I know.

 No good news.  Just received a message from a woman that graduated a year before me from my high school, sigh not interested.

 At least I am figuring out the game Match is playing...

 Lost

 

[Starlight925]

Oh wow, you’ve just helped me understand a lot of what is going on with Match. 
I just now figured out, from what you’re saying, why my search keeps getting smaller & smaller, and all these guys I previously saw are now gone.

 Seems if you click X on a Highlight, it’s gone…forever…for both parties.  I’ve been clicking X just to move through the Highlights, and then figuring I could go back through and find the full profile, but all those profiles are now gone.  
   It also makes me realize why I’m getting so few views.  Not even messages, but zero views.  Because as I’ve been X’ing through profiles, I’ve apparently disappeared off those guys’ searches as well. 
   I’ve done the same as you:  widened the search, removed all parameters, but if you X through a profile, it’s gone forever.   I just tested it with one profile, and sure enough….poof, he’s gone now.  
   The Super Like, Super Boost, all the extra charges, are ridiculous.  
   

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Seems if you click X on a Highlight, it’s gone…forever…for both parties.  I’ve been clicking X just to move through the Highlights, 

Doesn't X remove them from your search? 

https://help.match.com/hc/en-us/articles/6241694005531-Removing-Profiles-From-Search-Results

[Starlight925]

16 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Doesn't X remove them from your search? 

https://help.match.com/hc/en-us/articles/6241694005531-Removing-Profiles-From-Search-Results

Only when you click X on the actual profile. 
Match has this “Discover” feature, its version of swiping, showing one profile at a time. 
   You can X, Heart, or Super Like. 
   If you X, that profile is gone forever, and it won’t even show up in your “Removed Profiles”.  
  The only ones that show up in “Removed” are the ones where you visited the profile and clicked an X on the profile itself. 
  Those show up in “Removed”, allowing them to be Reinstated. 
 

So. Freaking. Convoluted. 
 
I found a Reddit sub where someone asked about this exact issue….how to get all these profiles back that, when they first joined, they quickly swiped through (X’s on Discovery), but there is no response. 

[Jibralta]

On 1/10/2024 at 2:21 PM, lostandhurt said:

Dear Lost,

At Match, we work tirelessly behind the scenes to cultivate a safe and positive experience. After all, your safety is a top priority.

Wow, crazy!

[Jibralta]

12 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

Only when you click X on the actual profile. 
Match has this “Discover” feature, its version of swiping, showing one profile at a time. 
   You can X, Heart, or Super Like. 
   If you X, that profile is gone forever, and it won’t even show up in your “Removed Profiles”.  
  The only ones that show up in “Removed” are the ones where you visited the profile and clicked an X on the profile itself. 
  Those show up in “Removed”, allowing them to be Reinstated. 

Wow, it requires so much thought! 😂

[lostandhurt]

12 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

 It also makes me realize why I’m getting so few views.  Not even messages, but zero views.  Because as I’ve been X’ing through profiles, I’ve apparently disappeared off those guys’ searches as well. 

Funny how they don't tell you this stuff.  To get those profiles back in your search go to settings (icon on the far right next to your little profile pic.  Once there on the left side of the screen you will see "Account Settings" select "removed profiles" and it will show a list of profiles you X'd out.  Any profile you want back simply click "show" and they will return your search.

 I was doing the same thing you were figuring I would circle back but then they were gone until I figured this out recently.  To avoid this I look through the profiles they email to me and click on "View", check them out and then close the window without Xing. 

  For a company that is supposed to help you meet someone they sure make it way harder than it should be.  It seems like they just show you enough to keep you signed up...

Lost

Just read what you posted how this only affects profiles you hit X or the trash can icon.  I am going to do some more research and maybe hit up Match and ask how to reset everything.

Big help, thanks

[Jibralta]

2 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

It seems like they just show you enough to keep you signed up...

I wouldn't be surprised if they've gotten that down to a science by now.

[Starlight925]

5 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Funny how they don't tell you this stuff.  To get those profiles back in your search go to settings (icon on the far right next to your little profile pic.  Once there on the left side of the screen you will see "Account Settings" select "removed profiles" and it will show a list of profiles you X'd out.  Any profile you want back simply click "show" and they will return your search.

I tried that, but it says I have no "Removed Profiles".

Seems it only works if you have actually clicked on a full profile, hovered over the 3 dots, and clicked X.

If it's a profile that appears in your daily "Discovery Rotation", and you've clicked X, they're gone forever.

I couldn't understand why so many profiles I had previously viewed via Search were missing.   Turns out, maybe it's a bug, but once you click X on a rotated profile via Discovery, that profile is gone....forever.

I found a Reddit sub on this.  Apparently, the same thing happens on Hinge (owned by Match).

Last night, I X'd out a Discovery profile of a particular guy named Steve.  Prior to this, I did a narrow search for certain parameters, and there were 84 profiles.  Once I X'd him out, there were now 83 profiles, and "Steve" was gone.  I used the "back" button on Discovery (which only works once, while that profile still shows in your rotation), and Unclicked the X, and "Steve" was back in my Search.  But had I clicked through to the next Discovery profile, "Steve" would have been gone forever.

My search keeps getting smaller and smaller, due to all the "X's" I did when going through the Discovery rotations.

It's a messed up platform.

So now, when I click "Removed Profiles", all the ones I had "X'd" while in the Discovery rotation are non-existent, and it says I have none.  I looked in Blocked, and only the ones I know for a fact I blocked are there.

[lostandhurt]

I just read through a ton of questions and answers looking for a way to reset back to the start when you first signed up but there is no option for that, I just spent 10 minutes with a chat bot asking it questions with no answers.  When I asked about highlights it just explained what it is and if you do not like the profile you can dismiss it.  It doesn't say what happens then and when I asked how to undo a dismiss it told me if I was in danger to dial 911 and then gave me an option to contact an agent. 

 I guess you have to let your subscription run out and start from scratch.

Lost

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

I just read through a ton of questions and answers looking for a way to reset back to the start when you first signed up but there is no option for that, I just spent 10 minutes with a chat bot asking it questions with no answers.  When I asked about highlights it just explained what it is and if you do not like the profile you can dismiss it.  It doesn't say what happens then and when I asked how to undo a dismiss it told me if I was in danger to dial 911 and then gave me an option to contact an agent. 

 I guess you have to let your subscription run out and start from scratch.

Lost

OMG you are kidding?   The AI bot is actually programmed to say that?  Wow.

But yeah, there's no "reset button" apparently.

I signed up for 3 months and I cancelled the auto-renew as soon as I did it, so it appears as that's what I'll do, just delete, wait, and do a new profile.  Ugh.

[BeaTlesFan77]

19 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Day 57

 So I have been widening my search hoping to see someone I missed or for some reason weren't in my search criteria.   One of which is "has photos".  I removed all the filters and figured I would scroll through women that smoke or were not single and on and on and I saw several profiles without a profile picture but one caught my eye so I scrolled down in her profile to read about her.  Guess what?  She had pics but not a main profile pic.  I started scrolling down on all profiles without a main pic and found about 30% had pics.  Not sure why they are doing that and unfortunately none were what I am interested in but it was good to know that is a thing.

 So Match sends you "Highlights" and you can click through them one by one and I saw a woman I was interested in reading her profile so I clicked and got to her profile and wanted to send her a message but there was no way to send her a message.  Turns out Match only lets you send someone a message that is in your highlights if you send them a Super Like first and yep you guessed it super likes are not free.  They give you one like once a month or something.  So I thought  I would out smart them and simply search for her profile.  I put a tight age range and hit search, she wasn't there.  I put her exact age and closed the distance  so her profile had to turn up and still nothing.  I tried searching for every woman in my Highlights and they were all excluded by match so I had to Super Like them to open up a message window to send a message.  This doesn't seem right to me for two reasons.  1. If they disclosed this it has to be in very small print when I signed up that not all people on Match can be found by searching public profiles.  Secondly if they put my profile in "Highlights" and some woman wants to message me she has to pay extra.  Not cool.  I actually got a message about 2 weeks after I signed up and the woman said she had to super like me to send me a message, at the time I didn't understand what she meant but now I know.

 No good news.  Just received a message from a woman that graduated a year before me from my high school, sigh not interested.

 At least I am figuring out the game Match is playing...

 Lost

 

From what I've seen, Match likes to nickel & dime you for every little thing.

[BeaTlesFan77]

17 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

The Super Like, Super Boost, all the extra charges, are ridiculous.  

   

I couldn't agree more!

[BeaTlesFan77]

I apologize in advance if this has already been discussed.  Do any of you think that the profiles on there are models just to reel you in? 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

OMG you are kidding?   The AI bot is actually programmed to say that?  Wow.

But yeah, there's no "reset button" apparently.

I signed up for 3 months and I cancelled the auto-renew as soon as I did it, so it appears as that's what I'll do, just delete, wait, and do a new profile.  Ugh.

Once I got one of those "live chat" bots and actually asked if it was a human and the reply was "I am a bot". lol 

Sorry this is so frustrating. These a la carte bells and whistles seem ridiculously complicated. Hopefully you can find a match without all the headaches. 

[lostandhurt]

5 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

OMG you are kidding?

Nope not kidding.  It offered that to me twice while I was asking questions that I guess seemed to it like I was in danger.  When I get a chance I am going to open a chat session again and type in "contact agent" and see if it will connect me to a human. 

I will let you know.

I did the 3 month thing too.  In the past when you don't renew they start sending you all kinds of discounts to sign up again.  Mine should be up in February.

Lost

[lostandhurt]

3 hours ago, beatlesfan77 said:

I apologize in advance if this has already been discussed.  Do any of you think that the profiles on there are models just to reel you in? 

Not in my area.  Scrolling through profiles I keep seeing women I have actually met or dated very briefly or they are in a picture with a landmark or something I recognize. 

 It appears they hold back profiles in your search though and meter them out to you as they see fit.

Lost

[Starlight925]

1 minute ago, lostandhurt said:

Not in my area.  Scrolling through profiles I keep seeing women I have actually met or dated very briefly or they are in a picture with a landmark or something I recognize. 

 It appears they hold back profiles in your search though and meter them out to you as they see fit.

Same.  I live in a very large city, and the profiles seem all real.

I have communicated with several people, and all are real, as in, they ask questions and discuss very specific things for our city, etc.  I've met one in person, very nice, just not attracted to him.

The issue is that Match no longer offers a full search option, as in, when you put in all your parameters, seems you get maybe 60% of the available profiles to view.  

I'm sure there are algorithms working in the background....the person hovered on this profile for X.X amount of seconds, so Y/Z profiles are now shown, etc.  No different than the way ads are delivered.

 

[lostandhurt]

Day 59

Interesting development on the number of profiles available to me since I messed around in settings.

So I had a pretty  long list of removed profiles (mostly women that were super far away) so I selected nearly all of them  to show once again in my searches.  They are back when I search but the interesting part is there are way more profiles I had never seen before and there is no way that many women signed up in that short of a time.  Match must be using my removed profiles as some sort of base filter on what it shows me.  This of course is a guess.  I am going to wait a few days and then remove a bunch more then wait a day or two and un-remove them and see what happens.

  It is like a game to get them to show everyone in my area.

Sent out 3 messages in the last 3 days.  The first was a long short to say the least.  She viewed my profile but did not respond, then she viewed it again yesterday, still no response. The second message was to a woman that is not a subscriber but I sent it anyways. The third I just sent moments ago so we shall see.

 Lost

[BeaTlesFan77]

On 11/25/2023 at 9:32 AM, lostandhurt said:

My idea was to meet women in real life which I did but sporadically and it just isn't like it used to be since everyone has their nose in their phones which makes it hard to strike up a conversation or catch their eye.

 

Hope things have picked up for you Lost since your last update.  At this point, have you opened up to meeting people IRL again, or still mainly concentrating on OLD?  Part of me has been thinking of trying OLD again as IRL has been a struggle for me as well.  Have you dated anyone with children before or do you have children?  If you have, what is it like?  I've never been married and have no children.  At my age now, I'm understanding that it's going to be very slim pickings as far as meeting women in the same boat as me.