Come along for Losts online dating adventure!

[Coily]

Jumping back to the politics thing, I do find it good when the angry people do post that about themselves. I went on one date a while back and she was a straight up revolutionary, years later got arrest in a protest; if she put that on her profile I wouldn't have had to endure 30 minutes of creepy propaganda.

I do find dating apps interesting in that it distills everyone into their most useless. There is little depth, and sometimes it's hard to distinguish genuine people from scams and bots. Haha They are also a reflection on how isolated people have become.

As always best of luck.

 

[lostandhurt]

47 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

I did a trial of Our Time.  More scammers there could not be.

Everyone looking for a "lonely divorced woman" by pretending to be stuck in another country, a victim of a war zone but a highly decorated military officer, who, if I could only send some money in a cereal box, could come and sweep me off my feet.

It's so laughable, that sometimes I'd respond with "Do you need my Social Security number, or will a credit card number be ok?"

That was you???  The card number you gave me didn't work, can you send it again 😁

 So if there are a bunch of fake profiles of men on there perhaps me being real might improve my odds? 

 Lost

[boltnrun]

5 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

 Let us know when you sign up, I am sure you are going to get TONS of interest.

I have seen the commercials for those sites and I think they are owned by Match Group so they are probably run the same.  I will definitely check them out and see what I see.

  Lost

Oh, it will be a year at least. My GAD is nowhere near under control and that has to happen first.

As for tons of interest, if it's anything like when I was job hunting three years ago there is a definite bias against middle aged females. I certainly don't get checked out much when I'm out and about. 

[lostandhurt]

1 minute ago, Coily said:

Jumping back to the politics thing, I do find it good when the angry people do post that about themselves. I went on one date a while back and she was a straight up revolutionary, years later got arrest in a protest; if she put that on her profile I wouldn't have had to endure 30 minutes of creepy propaganda.

I do find dating apps interesting in that it distills everyone into their most useless. There is little depth, and sometimes it's hard to distinguish genuine people from scams and bots. Haha They are also a reflection on how isolated people have become.

As always best of luck.

 

If a woman has a list of reasons not to contact her then I usually take a pass.  It does make it easier when they show their true colors but sometimes they are more subtle.  Things like " If you wear jeans don't bother" "True Patriot" "German made car a must" mentioning vaccinations and the like.

  I could care less how someone votes but if it is a large part of who they are day in and day out they are not for me.  Far to much negativity and anger to add to my life.

 Lost

[lostandhurt]

7 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Oh, it will be a year at least. My GAD is nowhere near under control and that has to happen first.

As for tons of interest, if it's anything like when I was job hunting three years ago there is a definite bias against middle aged females. I certainly don't get checked out much when I'm out and about. 

  Well OLD will not help that is for sure, make sure you build up a thick skin while you are at it.

 How about a friendly wager?  I bet you will get a lot of interest with at least 5 messages  a day for the first week but more than likely way more than that.

 In real life is nothing like it used to be.  Women stare at their phones and are not as receptive to men chatting them up these days so guys have backed way off on checking women out and talking to them.  It is almost like online has supplanted real life.  "If I want to meet him/her I will look online and send her a message"

 Lost

[boltnrun]

I won't rely on a dating site if/when I do start thinking about dating. I have never dated, but I was always somewhere where a lot of men were. I have three brothers so I am not into typically "feminine" things. I like sports, cars, things like that. And the bonus is, there are a lot of men at sports events and car shows 

But we'll see. If we are both still around here in a year or two we'll see how it goes.

[BeaTlesFan77]

56 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Been down this road before and I really don't get bothered by my results or the lack of them.  I am all good either way so I look at it as a bonus if I meet someone not like I lost out. 

That's exactly how I felt going into the event I went to on Valentine's Day evening.  I figured it was free and it felt great to be out.  Not sitting on my couch at home where nothing happens. 

It was called 'Cupid's Carvinal' and it was held at a venue I went to before for another singles event for a different company.  In addition, it was also a party to celebrate a new local dating app coming out.  They also had vendors, a tarot card reader, burlesque performances, and two ladies doing contortion with curtains in the air. 

Regardless, it was the same crap that happened at all the other ones I have been to.  It was hard to approach ladies as they were sitting with their backs toward people walking by and had their faces buried in their phones.  Or they were sitting with their backs to people and talking with a group of friends and looking at their phones.  Then, of course, the traditional let's play music twice the volume level it should be.  I thought the company was renting out the whole venue but that wasn't the case.  There were also couples there which made things a little confusing.     

I was interested in one lady who was doing just that.  Once she was sitting in an approachable manner, she was busy stuffing her face with pizza.  I walked up and did the typical "Hi, how are you?" when I should have said, "That pizza looks delicious, and which one was it." (there were a few food truck-like businesses around the courtyard where it was including pizza which everyone seemed to gravitate towards).  She just responded with "I'm eating." to which I responded "I can come back later." and she nodded her head.  I was never able to touch back with her again as she was always talking with another girlfriend that arrived.  Nor did she seek me out which I took as disinterest.

Didn't talk to anybody else.  On the bright side, I got to try a new tropical-tasting alcoholic cider which I had two of.  I went home not feeling upset as I went in with no expectations.  Just chalked it up as another experience. 

[BeaTlesFan77]

25 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

In real life is nothing like it used to be.  Women stare at their phones and are not as receptive to men chatting them up these days so guys have backed way off on checking women out and talking to them.  It is almost like online has supplanted real life.  "If I want to meet him/her I will look online and send her a message"

 Lost

You hit the nail right on the head!

[BeaTlesFan77]

Visual aid from my story. 

[lostandhurt]

6 minutes ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Didn't talk to anybody else.  On the bright side, I got to try a new tropical-tasting alcoholic cider which I had two of.  I went home not feeling upset as I went in with no expectations.  Just chalked it up as another experience. 

Good on you.  I have been to and been part of some of those "events" and it is like they just want bodies in the room to make it look like it is something special.  I was briefly helping out with a Matchmaking Service and the woman running it wanted me to show interest in a few of her clients so it looked like she was doing her job well.  I wasn't interested in them and I didn't want to be that guy so I passed.  I did make several appearances at events like you just went to for the sake of having a good balance of people.  I am not so sure any of them are actually trying to achieve what they say they are.

  It sucks when you come up with the perfect line later isn't it?

Lost 

[lostandhurt]

28 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

there are a lot of men at sports events and car shows 

 Never dated?  Boy are you in for a huge surprise.  You will do great I am sure but it will be fun to hear about your adventures.

I am at about 8 to 10 car shows a year so I will keep an eye out for you. 

Lost

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

 the Match Group owns a great many dating sites I am afraid their gimmicks are found across most sites, just with different shapes and color

Exactly. That's the problem. Match Group owns and operates the largest global portfolio of popular online dating services including Tinder, Match.com, Meetic, OkCupid, Hinge, Plenty of Fish, OurTime. However there are sites Not owned by Match and that was what I was referring to. 

[boltnrun]

23 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

am at about 8 to 10 car shows a year so

And I'm sure you notice the ratio of single men to single women is greatly larger. I seldom see many single women. Couples, yes. Which is why I strongly recommend women who post on here lamenting that they can't find men on dating apps to attend car shows. I hadn't even finish scanning my entry ticket when I was approached by a man at the last car show I attended. He asked "so are you a car aficionado? It's rare to see a single lady at these things." 

[BeaTlesFan77]

35 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Good on you.  I have been to and been part of some of those "events" and it is like they just want bodies in the room to make it look like it is something special.  I was briefly helping out with a Matchmaking Service and the woman running it wanted me to show interest in a few of her clients so it looked like she was doing her job well.  I wasn't interested in them and I didn't want to be that guy so I passed.  I did make several appearances at events like you just went to for the sake of having a good balance of people.  I am not so sure any of them are actually trying to achieve what they say they are.

  It sucks when you come up with the perfect line later isn't it?

Lost 

Thanks.  Yes, hindsight is always 20/20.  😆  Something similar happened at this event too.  They had people dressed up going around and interacting with people.  Especially with the women and asking if they were single and if so, please support my friend's new dating app coming out.  They paid no mind to me standing next to them. 

[Starlight925]

You'd be surprised at how few messages the women get.

Back in the day (yes, I've done OLD as long as 20 years ago), I'd log in to 40 messages.  These days, barely anyone even views my profile.

And it's not because of my age, etc., as younger gals have the same stories to tell me.

People are jaded.  It's changed.  Ain't what it used to be.

My friend, 6 years ago (she was 55), had her profile completely hidden on Match (professional reasons).  This friend is jaw-dropping, head-turning goooorgeous, Ivy League educated, and about the funnest, most up-for-anything woman I know.  So, because she was hidden, she'd write to guys, and they were able to view her.  About 80% didn't write back.  I mean, we'd be out at a restaurant and drinks would come her way, offers to pay her bill, she had the most fantastic figure you've ever seen.  Literally, 80% didn't write back.  The ones who did were very meh.  Now, it only takes one, right?  That one is now her husband.  But her experience was not what you'd expect.

People would just open her message (well thought out), and just close it.  

I think so many are just so jaded now.  But, like my friend, it only takes one....

[Batya33]

4 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

Good on you.  I have been to and been part of some of those "events" and it is like they just want bodies in the room to make it look like it is something special.  I was briefly helping out with a Matchmaking Service and the woman running it wanted me to show interest in a few of her clients so it looked like she was doing her job well.  I wasn't interested in them and I didn't want to be that guy so I passed.  I did make several appearances at events like you just went to for the sake of having a good balance of people.  I am not so sure any of them are actually trying to achieve what they say they are.

  It sucks when you come up with the perfect line later isn't it?

Lost 

So if instead you do a volunteer activity chances are the women won't be buried in their phones if they have to do the work.  I've been asked to take on a 1.5 hour shift next week making thank you phone calls to donors on behalf of a non profit.  In person . They said there will be "door prizes" and refreshments etc.  I've gone to these before - and it's social too.  I can't go next week but just an example. 

[BeaTlesFan77]

5 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

So if instead you do a volunteer activity chances are the women won't be buried in their phones if they have to do the work.  I've been asked to take on a 1.5 hour shift next week making thank you phone calls to donors on behalf of a non profit.  In person . They said there will be "door prizes" and refreshments etc.  I've gone to these before - and it's social too.  I can't go next week but just an example. 

I will take that suggestion into consideration.  Thank you.  😄

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

I will take that suggestion into consideration.  Thank you.  😄

I have to say -I dated mostly pre-smartphone and therefore at these singles events there were -issues -but not competing with a device -ugh.  I went over to many men and struck up a conversation - and yes if the guy was staring into his phone -that likely would have felt intimidating.

[BeaTlesFan77]

3 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I have to say -I dated mostly pre-smartphone and therefore at these singles events there were -issues -but not competing with a device -ugh.  I went over to many men and struck up a conversation - and yes if the guy was staring into his phone -that likely would have felt intimidating.

So it sounds like things haven't changed very much?  There have always been issues present.  The smartphone just amplified them. 

[Batya33]

Just now, BeaTlesFan77 said:

So it sounds like things haven't changed very much?  There have always been issues present.  The smartphone just compacted them. 

Oh I mean issues -like just people who acted rudely, or some singles events were incredibly jam packed and noisy -hard to mingle! People who were drunk, etc.  

[BeaTlesFan77]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

Oh I mean issues -like just people who acted rudely, or some singles events were incredibly jam packed and noisy -hard to mingle! People who were drunk, etc.  

Wow!  The jam-packed and noisy alone would make me not want to go. 

[Batya33]

6 minutes ago, BeaTlesFan77 said:

Wow!  The jam-packed and noisy alone would make me not want to go. 

Many were.  Huge city, teeming with singles.  I was very very good at working the room and meeting people.  And I loved to dance which all of these events back then involved.  Means to an end.  Not for everyone for sure just like not all volunteer work is for everyone, etc.  

[lostandhurt]

19 hours ago, boltnrun said:

"so are you a car aficionado?

That wasn't me, I don't think I have ever said the word aficionado while chatting up a woman.

 There are some single women at shows but most are ex's of some car guy...

Lost

[lostandhurt]

18 hours ago, Starlight925 said:

You'd be surprised at how few messages the women get.

Interesting.  I have a few extremely attractive women acquaintances and while talking about OLD they showed me their profile and then messages.  They received a lot of messages, now they are 10 years younger than I am so that might be it.

 Hey I am on there to meet someone so I send messages and reply to the ones I am interested in.  I have in the past received messages from women without profile pics and when I saw their pics the first thing I thought was "this is a fake profile" "she is way to attractive to be interested in me"  I was wrong each time.

 I wonder how different regions affect online dating results?

Lost 

[lostandhurt]

16 hours ago, Batya33 said:

So if instead you do a volunteer activity chances are the women won't be buried in their phones if they have to do the work.

For a time I was volunteering about 8 to 20 hours a month for a few organizations and even sat on the board of one.  I did spread myself too thin but covid shut them down for a while and it also gave me a break to recharge so I do need to get involved again.  Problem is not that I am retired I have less time than when I was working 40 hours a week for some reason.  I need to start looking around for a new one to help out.

 Lost