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I don’t know what to do anymore


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Hello all,

I’ve been with my GF for 1 and a half year now and a lot has changed since we first met, at the beginning things were great but over time a lot has happened and is still happening.

I’ve been pushed away from friends that I’ve known since day one and manipulated into thinking they’re awful people.

I’ve gained a very significant amount of weight since meeting her, before her I was really successful in my weight loss journey.

She’s tried turning me against my family and step family and pushed me away from a few which has caused problems I’ve been trying to fix.

She accuses me of cheating and that I’d leave her for someone else when I would never do such a thing.

She used to have very intimate conversations with her male friend which went on for a long time, she said it stopped but I struggle believing her.

Everything is made out to be my fault and my family’s fault but she’s never to blame and is always right.

I’ve had threats made to me about my life and the lives of those around me (not jokingly) by her family members.

I know this is only one side of the story but I feel like I’m too deep in the hole to get out and I don’t know what to do anymore.

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1 minute ago, Shingo said:

I live with my parents and she lives with her grandparents but wants to see me every day

You have a mouth.  Say "no".  The end.  Obviously this is an unhealthy relationship so say "no" to seeing her.  And then follow through by not seeing her.

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You’re probably hoping for a miracle, that she’ll spontaneously change and become the loving, supportive, not abusive person you wish for in a partner? 

Think again. She will not change. She abuses you because you stick around for it and you staying is her ok and green light to keep treating you this way. 

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It's crazy..all of it! 😕 

What kind of threats is her family giving you?

This is classic control, manipulation, guilt etc.  Be done with them all!  Omg

Has only been about a year and 1/2?  Has not been 5+ yrs or anything.  A relationship is having a decent companion around you with some positive vibes.  You don't have any of this.  And no one has rights to control you this way.

 

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If you stopped caring for yourself that’s a sign this relationship isn’t healthy. A relationship should make you feel happy and safe. This sounds awful to be quite honest. Time to loose the girlfriend, one less weight to worry about. 

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Time to say goodbye to this girl. She is a control freak who is taking over your life in an unhealthy way.  You can see what she is like so you need to  put an end to it.  Tell her you are done.  Block and delete her from your phone and all social media.

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5 hours ago, Shingo said:

I feel like I’m too deep in the hole to get out

I'm so sorry. What do you mean by this^^^?

You're not living with her, so why not call her and tell her the relationship isn't working for you and you want to stop seeing one another? (She's abusive, so it's better not to see her in person.)

Do you owe her family money?

What is it that prevents you from breaking up?

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6 hours ago, Shingo said:

I’ve had threats made to me about my life and the lives of those around me (not jokingly) by her family members.

What the heck, man. 

Get away from her, forever. This person and her people are horrid. Find your backbone and kick her out of your life. 

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7 hours ago, Shingo said:

Everything is made out to be my fault and my family’s fault but she’s never to blame and is always right.

 

That is just called "being a regular girl" lol 😆

She is horrible OP. Manipulation, gaslighting, threats, probably cheating with her bf. You should have left a long time ago. If she tries threatening you again, there is a police to handle such things. 

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9 hours ago, Shingo said:

I’ve had threats made to me about my life and the lives of those around me by her family members

What, exactly, does this mean? Her family are mobsters and going to take out your people?

Letting your physical and mental health deteriorate is your responsibility. Alienating your friends and family is your responsibility.

If you think she's so awful, end it.

More importantly, take care of yourself. Get to a physician for an evaluation of your physical and mental health. Ask for a referral to a qualified therapist for ongoing support.

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Your GF is insanely insecure...that turns into isolation, mental abuse, manipulation. Your relationship is very unhealthy/toxic because she's in it. It's playing havoc on your self esteem...get out now, cut her off, end it. 

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