Heartbroken

[Ami33]

I was with my bf for 6 months and we did have our ups and downs but we got through them. I have had a history of headaches and I went to get it checked out and it turned out that I had a small blood clot. I ended up stay in the hospital for about 3 or 4 days and was released to get on bed rest. So before I went in to see the doctor on the day of I tried so hard to contact my bf and I got no answer. I called I texted I sent him FaceTimes and everything. So I did try to contact him. I ended up having to turn my phone off because, I was preparing for my procedure to help remove this clot. My phone was off for the days during my recovery for about 2 and a half days. I turn my phone on and hoping my bf text me or something. They only text I got was “I’m sick of this I’m done” he left me a voicemail saying “ I’m done with you” this hurt me to my core. How could someone I love do this to me in my time of need. He didn’t pick up calls or anything from me. I get we didn’t talk those days but I tried so hard to tell him what was going on before anything happened and he didn’t answer (he said he was sleep).

Fast forward to a couple hours ago he finally calls and all he is doing is screaming at me demanding that I show him a picture of my wristband and my hospital paperwork. Yes I could easily have shown him but it was hurtful how he was screaming at me and not even caring how I was feeling. Nothing I said mattered to him. Nothing. It was like nothing to him that I tried to tell him what was going on before I actually was admitted and taken to have my clot removed all he did was yelled and screamed for picture of my paperwork. I had to stand my own and not send it to him because, I know what I was doing and plus I’m still in recovery at home. It hurts how he is going right to the negative with me and assuming he knows that I’m lying. Why is my word not enough? Why is he treating me like this?
I have been though a lot with him. I’ve had a woman pop up on him at his new place while I was there and she stalked and followed us around all until the police was involved. I’ve had instances where he really accidentally merged me into a call with him and another woman. I’ve known him to text other women while talking to me. But I stayed. I know it was stupid. But I did. I have always been accused of doing everything under the Sun by him. He even accused me being with another man when I was at my mom house and my brother was there and he heard him in the background. He makes me out to be such a ugly person. And here I am knowing I was in the hospital and he yells and demands proof and makes it seem like I’m lying. I was going to show him but he didn’t give me the respect I deserved I wanted to stand up for myself. He breaks up with me and hangs up in my face after I told him no. I just need advice on how to move on because, although I did nothing wrong this still hurts.

[Capricorn3]

13 minutes ago, Ami33 said:

 He breaks up with me and hangs up in my face after I told him no. I just need advice on how to move on because, although I did nothing wrong this still hurts.

You should thank your lucky stars that it's over! You dodged a bullet here and as much as it may hurt right now, it was a blessing in disguise.  This guy is a nut job (sorry) and abusive.  Screaming at you, making demands and just being off his head ..... ALL of which is showing you his real character and OP, it is not very impressive.  Be thankful he's gone.

Be kind to yourself. Join a gym, eat healthy and surround yourself with family/friends.

[MissCanuck]

27 minutes ago, Ami33 said:

I just need advice on how to move on

I would look into some therapy, and I mean that in all kindness and sincerity. 

This man is an abuser and clearly not faithful to you, but somewhere along the way, you lost all sense of self-respect and self-worth. It is very concerning that you stayed with him after so much poor treatment and so many red flags. 

Something inside you needs some attention so that you don't wind up with more terrible men in the future. Look after you now. 

[Batya33]

I'm so sorry you were sick.  I hope you are better. I agree with the others.  Also huge red flag if in the first 6 months of dating there are this many ups and downs.

[WildPump]

Take care of your health first obviously your bf is not a caring one. Do not feel bad if he can't understand your situation. That is very nice you stood up against his unnecessary demands. Try to forget it as a bad dream.

[arjumand]

Please find a good therapist who can help you figure out why you are willing to put up with such blatantly abusive behavior. You have value and should be treated as such. Please do the work to find your self esteem and be healthy enough fir a good relationship. 

[SooSad33]

10 hours ago, Ami33 said:

I had to stand my own and not send it to him because, I know what I was doing and plus I’m still in recovery at home. It hurts how he is going right to the negative with me and assuming he knows that I’m lying. Why is my word not enough? Why is he treating me like this?
I have been though a lot with him. I’ve had a woman pop up on him at his new place while I was there and she stalked and followed us around all until the police was involved. I’ve had instances where he really accidentally merged me into a call with him and another woman. I’ve known him to text other women while talking to me. But I stayed. I know it was stupid. But I did. I have always been accused of doing everything under the Sun by him. He even accused me being with another man when I was at my mom house and my brother was there and he heard him in the background. He makes me out to be such a ugly person.

HE is the ugly person.. but is trying to turn his ways & behaviour onto you!

You should not stay.. why accept this crappy behaviour from some guy who acts like this towards you? 😕 

Guilt trips & manipulation.

Now, you realize HE is toxic idiot and you don't reach out anymore.. you don't respond to any more crap he may say, etc.

Self respect ❤️ .

Hope you feel better soon.. TC of YOU.

 

[Rose Mosse]

His behaviour is horribly abusive and I'm sorry that you've stayed this long. I wouldn't underestimate the effects of being with a person like this however short the relationship. You mentioned you were together for six months and already there were so many instances where he disrespected you and didn't treat you well. 

Do look into therapy or counselling to shift your line of thinking. He's not a good man. Start changing your criteria when it comes to looking for a partner.

[Lambert]

ask yourself why you were willing to tolerate this? 

If you're really truthful with yourself, you'll see that you have some work to do on yourself and in what areas.

How you could ever think his treatment of you was love or good enough or deserved is the problem. 

Also ask yourself what do you love about him?  Be honest.  We all have good and bad in us.  So I'm sure you thought he was fun or cute or something....

but the lying, other women, accusing you, are deal breakers. That is never acceptable. 

I hope you are feeling better and your health improves. you do not deserve this guy. You can and will find better.

Start caring for yourself and your needs first.  Get away from abusive losers. That's how you heal. 

[catfeeder]

I wish you gentle healing, and I hope you will contact your hospital for an appointment with a social worker who can refer you to the right therapies for your body and your mind.

The longer your list grows of all of the mistreatment you were willing to put up with, it sounds as though you believe that he should appreciate what you've tolerated from him.

I'm so sorry, honey, but the opposite is true.

The more you're willing to accept unacceptable behavior--from anyone--the less you will be respected for that, and the more likely the mistreatment will escalate.

If you are not willing to walk away from mistreatment, the message you send is, "I'm so desperate for you, you can walk all over me--and I'll still stay."

An abuser will not value that but will keep testing your limits until he actually causes you irreparable harm, or worse.

[lostandhurt]

First off was the surgery successful?  Focusing on something else besides the uncaring jerk that used to be your bf is the best thing you can do right now.  How about your health mind and body.

  This guy is not understanding, compassionate, caring or concerned for your health so moving on from someone like that should be a lot easier than a really great guy right?

  I agree you dodged a bullet and should be glad he is out of your life.  In time you will agree too I am sure.

 Keep family and friends close as you heal.

 Lost

[Betterwithout]

Remember who said these horrible things to you.... A very horrible person.
Everyone needs people in their life that love them.
He didn't love you, or know how to love you... or both.

Don't let the toxic trail he left affect you.   Move on in every way possible.