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Was I a rebound?


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Hey everyone and thanks for reading. Hopefully this won’t be too long… Was seeing this guy for 7 months… gave me a ring after 1 month of dating… gave me $10,000 to pay off my car, planning a house to build with me. He bought a truck and camper and it was placed in my name. We went on plenty of trips , but then we break up 2 months ago. I start to miss him so I reach out to him to talk to him. We go to a movie and then I tell him I want to take things slow … he responds with asking that if it’s okay if he sees other ppl. Of course I say no. So later he’s acting distant and very mean to me. I asked him if he want to paint my sons room…responds to me by asking “why would I want to do that?” And then I respond by saying “ so we can spend more time with each other” he then says he’s too busy planning his trip to some place out of the country. He was complaining to me about how I am making the time about myself and not us. So he unfriends me on his fb page and removes my photos on fb. So fast forward to last week. I send him a message asking him about possibly getting my bike from his house. He responds by, I think, pretending to be another woman texting his phone asking me “ who is this?” And also saying that she’ll pass along my messages and to never contact him again. I assumed it was him but the way the person was talking about a ring made me assume he was back with the ex wife. So I decided to contact the ex wife to find out if she’s back with him. She asked me why I would think that or why I needed to know. I then proceeded to tell her about our relationship and how much he’s done for me and that I had her wedding ring. I wanted to know if they were seeing each other again. He was always talking about her to me in our relationship. She said it wasn’t her texting me. I wanted to let her know that it wasn’t a great idea for her to get back involved with him. But I don’t know if I should believe her. What do you all make of this whole thing?

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Doesn't matter what you believe.  He does not want any more to do with you - sorry, but you should take the hint.

Yes, I say was a rebound.  People act out in a massive way when they're messed up. Stay away from this guy... and is never a good idea to msg their ex ( his wife?).

What happens at that end is not your business. If/when he learns you've contacted her can turn around and bite you in the ***,,, right?

So, just back right off now & have no more to do with this mess!

No more contact.. Nothing.  for your own well being.

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6 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

He bought a truck and camper and it was placed in my name.  he then says he’s too busy planning his trip to some place out of the country.

Is he involved in criminal activity and trying to launder money?

Why is he shuffling money  around like this then suddenly has to flee the country? 

Was he a sugar daddy arrangement?

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46 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

I wanted to know if they were seeing each other again. He was always talking about her to me in our relationship. She said it wasn’t her texting me. I wanted to let her know that it wasn’t a great idea for her to get back involved with him. But I don’t know if I should believe her. What do you all make of this whole thing?

Leave it alone and don't contact any of his people. He told you not to contact him again. He doesn't want to pursue this so cut your losses and stay away. It's none of your business who he is involved with now or whether he's still with his ex. 

 

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Knowing if he's back with his ex wife doesn't change what happened between the two of you. He no longer wants to continue in the relationship.

Please don't do anymore embarrasing things like message his exes. Retain your dignity and self respect.

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43 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Is he involved in criminal activity and trying to launder money?

Why is he shuffling money  around like this then suddenly has to flee the country? 

Was he a sugar daddy arrangement?

Well it wasn’t a sugar daddy situation but he helped me out at times. But I did my share by helping him out with his properties. He was going through a legal battle  a few months ago but it has since been settled out of court and wanted me to put the truck and camper in my name at the time. 
 

I just felt like the ex wife needed to know the things he’s done for me and the engagement ring as well as her wedding ring. I sent her a photo of the ring to let her know I was aware that he still has in his safe. It’s broken lol.
 

 

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1 hour ago, Christina2022 said:

He was going through a legal battle  a few months ago but it has since been settled out of court and wanted me to put the truck and camper in my name at the time. 

Sounds like he was illegally hiding assets. You could be brought in for questioning if the courts find out. 

And really, how does sending his ex wife pics of the ring help you in any way? It's a waste of time.

You're better off without this scam artist in your life.

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What made you think it was a good idea to accept all that money and a ring from someone you had recently met? Were you attracted to his wealth when you first met him?  I agree- he is shady and I think you knew that but the upside (him giving you the $ and buying you stuff) was worth it and you pretended not to see the red flags.  Are you now in a financially stable situation?

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30 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Sounds like he was illegally hiding assets. You could be brought in for questioning if the courts find out. 

And really, how does sending his ex wife pics of the ring help you in any way? It's a waste of time.

You're better off without this scam artist in your life.

I was trying to ram the point home that he was horrible to her and if it WERE her sending the text messages, she’s not smart going back to him and to let her know I had access to her wedding ring. 
 

he’s now trying to sell the camper. And I did say I wanted them both out of my name

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7 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

What made you think it was a good idea to accept all that money and a ring from someone you had recently met? Were you attracted to his wealth when you first met him?  I agree- he is shady and I think you knew that but the upside (him giving you the $ and buying you stuff) was worth it and you pretended not to see the red flags.  Are you now in a financially stable situation?

Maybe you’re right. I guess with him painting this picture of a cutie with me saying we’ll get married because the last guy I was with, we were together for 4 years, no ring… I think this guy played on my desires to be married again. I figured him giving me $10,000 meant he loved me like he claimed but towards the end he breaks up with me in a rude way deleted me from his fb page and gets rid of our pictures from trips and pretends like he’s his ex wife to say not to contact me again. All I asked for was the bike my ex( well now current) bf got me because it’s at his house.

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23 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

I was trying to ram the point home that he was horrible to her and if it WERE her sending the text messages, she’s not smart going back to him and to let her know I had access to her wedding ring. 
 

he’s now trying to sell the camper. And I did say I wanted them both out of my name

But again, what they do has no bearing on your life now. I'm sure she's well aware of his lack of character.

You can go to the DMV and have the title changed in case there's any kind of issue. Currently you are responsible for any damage, parking tickets, etc. 

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1 hour ago, melancholy123 said:

OMG let this go.  Something shady about that guy giving you all  that money and vehicles in your name etc and then you go pestering the ex wife.

I think he was into something illegal and hiding assets.  Time to move on.

Wasn’t trying to pester her. He started it with implying it was her who was texting him so I messaged her to find out.

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I don't think you were a rebound. I think you were being used to conduct some kind of fraud or illegal activity.

If you're in the United States you should contact the credit bureaus to see if any credit was opened in your name that you don't know about it. 

Start documenting all the things he gave you and contact an attorney or the police for advice. You may be the scapegoat for illegal activities he did in your name.  

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6 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

What do you all make of this whole thing?

That you should have stayed broken up, and also that you need to slow way down in your next relationship. 

A ring after a month of dating is nuts. So is giving you that much money and buying all these things in your name. Huge red flags and you need to check your credit report and financials very carefully. Something is really off about all of that. 

Whether he's back with his ex-wife is irrelevant. Stay away from him and strengthen your boundaries so you run away from the weirdos in the future, not towards them. 

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4 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

I think this guy played on my desires to be married again. I figured him giving me $10,000 meant he loved me like he claimed but towards the end he breaks up with me in a rude way deleted me from his fb page and gets rid of our pictures from trips and pretends like he’s his ex wife to say not to contact me again. All I asked for was the bike my ex( well now current) bf got me because it’s at his house.

I'll say!

I think he played on your desire to be married so that he could hide assets in your name during a legal battle.

Now his legal battle is settled and your relationship is over.... I doubt that's a coincidence.

I don't think this was a rebound at all 😑

In either case, I'm sorry all of this happened. It probably doesn't help to hear that you're actually lucky that he's gone. But I think you really are. He sounds very shady. 

What are you going to do to prevent something like this from happening in your life again?

Edited by Jibralta
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9 hours ago, melancholy123 said:

Yeah what Lambert said.  That truck and camper may be hot and they are in your name...

No, he paid those in full, at a legit place, I just put my name on It but now that we’re broken up, he’s selling the camper but still drives the truck… something the ex wife should feel funny about.

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6 hours ago, waffle said:

So you got your car paid for?  I'd count myself as fortunate and move along.

I do… I just don’t understand why he felt the need to pretend he was a woman responding to my texts when I contacted him about getting my bike. It was like he was trying to make me mad or something which prompted me to bring up the engagement ring he got me. And his response led me to believe it was the ex wife or he wanted me to THINK it was the ex wife OR they are back together.  So I had to contact her to find out and to let her know a few things on how our relationship was and the things he did for me. Then I’d go on with my life.

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7 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I'll say!

I think he played on your desire to be married so that he could hide assets in your name during a legal battle.

Now his legal battle is settled and your relationship is over.... I doubt that's a coincidence.

I don't think this was a rebound at all 😑

In either case, I'm sorry all of this happened. It probably doesn't help to hear that you're actually lucky that he's gone. But I think you really are. He sounds very shady. 

What are you going to do to prevent something like this from happening in your life again?

Hmm good point. The legal battle involved his ex wife so that may be true. Once she received her money, coincidentally he started acting very distant. And we broke up.

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12 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

Maybe you’re right. I guess with him painting this picture of a cutie with me saying we’ll get married because the last guy I was with, we were together for 4 years, no ring… I think this guy played on my desires to be married again. I figured him giving me $10,000 meant he loved me like he claimed but towards the end he breaks up with me in a rude way deleted me from his fb page and gets rid of our pictures from trips and pretends like he’s his ex wife to say not to contact me again. All I asked for was the bike my ex( well now current) bf got me because it’s at his house.

He didn't play you.  You played yourself.  You told yourself that someone giving you a lot of $ early on is a sign of feelings -of love. Really?  Come on.  How about "hmm this is really unusual/odd/weird -he barely knows me and he gives me $10,000??"  And who cares if 10k wasn't much to him -it's the action in doing that that should have shown you red flags - and you accepted it. More red flags.  Desperate to get married like that is on you - that was your issue to deal with before picking someone to attach to because desperation smells bad to a healthy person. 

Desperation means you're not really caring about the other person -you're caring about "I want I want I want".  So you chose to hang on his every word and then hang on his wallet.  And tell yourself lies.  Please treat yourself with more dignity and respect so that you will attract people who desire to treat you with dignity and respect. 

Showering you with baubles and cash isn't that -- that's a different sort of arrangement and not one that has anything to do with two healthy adults falling in love over time with serious potential for marriage.  

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8 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

 

Whether he's back with his ex-wife is irrelevant. 

Now that someone brought up the fact that his legal battles are over and he broke up with me and trying to get back with his ex wife, I DO feel it’s relevant because the legal battles involved HER. And I did all of that for him because of HER suing him. So for her to just be cool with him bothers me ALOT. It’s like all of this was for nothing if they end up being back together. I feel used. But I did tell her that the truck and camper is in my name so she knows.

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The point is that their current relationship is not your business. 

I understand that you are hurt and disappointed, but whether or not they are back together doesn't change the fact that your relationship with him was not particularly solid to begin with. 

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1 hour ago, Christina2022 said:

he broke up with me. because the legal battles involved HER. 

Delete and block him and ALL his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Get your name off anything associated with their money laundering/illegal activities and "legal battles".

Make sure you check your finances. Forget about the bike. You accepted a payment form him (probably only to hide money form his ex during ongoing divorce issues (illegal, btw). These two are shady. Run.

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