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Was I a rebound?


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21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Delete and block him and ALL his people from ALL your social media and messaging apps.

Get your name off anything associated with their money laundering/illegal activities and "legal battles".

Make sure you check your finances. Forget about the bike. You accepted a payment form him (probably only to hide money form his ex during ongoing divorce issues (illegal, btw). These two are shady. Run.

That is what I plan to do. It’s really all him. I got the impression from her that she didn’t know any of this about him because why would she?   They divorced back in august. She was suing him because his pitbull  attacked her face and he was responsible for it.  I thought it was odd that she would settle for the amount she did but didn’t get money from him through the divorce. She told me it’s none of my business. After she settled in October and got fired from his job… this is when he started to act different towards me. Hes very shady. He told the job he was working at that he wanted to be a girl ( that’s what he told me, it could be a lie for all I know) and that’s when (he feels) they started to act like they wanted to let him go because even before telling them that he was not going into work. So they fired him. And he plans to sue the company for 1 million dollars 

Edited by Christina2022
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9 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

That is what I plan to do. She was suing him because his pitbull  attacked her face and he was responsible for it.

You're just a pawn in him hiding assets. The law may come after you. Get your name off his crap.

Delete and block them. You're involved in a criminal activity because you got greedy and wanted your car paid off, (stolen) jewelry, etc.

You are complicit in aiding criminal activity. Your assets, car etc. could be ceased and you could end up in jail for being greedy and turning a blind eye to obvious criminal activity.

Edited by Wiseman2
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2 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

No, he paid those in full, at a legit place, I just put my name on It but now that we’re broken up, he’s selling the camper but still drives the truck… something the ex wife should feel funny about.

I think you should feel funny about it.  You need to get that truck out of your name if he's driving it.

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He damages that truck or gets a bunch of parking tickets or the registration expires and guess who they'll go after? You, that's who.

Do you think him having the truck and camper in your name means he still loves you or something?

And you didn't "have"  to let his ex wife know anything. You were probably hoping she'd get mad and dump him and maybe thought he'd then come back to you?

Look, he's shady. He did illegal things and used you to cover his tracks. It would be best to get your name off those titles and get him out of your life permanently.

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18 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

I just felt like the ex wife needed to know the things he’s done for me and the engagement ring as well as her wedding ring. I sent her a photo of the ring to let her know I was aware that he still has in his safe. It’s broken lol.
 

 

Was your entire motive selfless and only thinking of the ex wife?  Be honest.  It's mixed with some vengeance and wanting to make certain you made things hard for the two of them, if they are indeed reconciling.

If that was the case, consider them deserving of each other and be thankful he's her man and not yours.

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OP, this guy got you duped, seduced, accepting a ring, and doing his shady bidding within a month of meeting. What on earth makes you think he can't pull the same garbage off with another woman or that you were the only one he was using? Don't be so naive. It is very likely that he is already got your replacement installed and that she answered the phone.

There are so many red flags slapping you in the face about this guy it's not even funny. Please get yourself together, go to the DMV today and get that car out of your name before something happens that you end up being legally responsible for.

Also, stop obsessing about his ex wife. She is right that what they do and how is absolutely none of your business and I doubt she gives  a flying rat's rear end about what her ex is doing to who and with who. She finally got rid of him, so she won.

Time for you to be smart and do the same - have no more contact with him and get yourself sorted out. Any man coming at you like that should send up a million red flags that you are dealing with a sociopath and should run like your life depends on it, because it actually might.

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6 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

  I thought it was odd that she would settle for the amount she did but didn’t get money from him through the divorce. She told me it’s none of my business.

That's because it isn't any of your business. I'm rather surprised you feel it is. 

Your only business now is making sure that your name is removed from everything connected to him. And then you need to make sure you get better at identifying bad apples when you see them, and promptly discarding them. 

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1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

That's because it isn't any of your business. I'm rather surprised you feel it is. 

Well I’m sorry but I felt like it WAS my business! If it weren’t for her suing him and him needing for me to put things in my name we wouldn’t be here. 

5 hours ago, reinventmyself said:

Was your entire motive selfless and only thinking of the ex wife?  Be honest.  It's mixed with some vengeance and wanting to make certain you made things hard for the two of them, if they are indeed reconciling.

If that was the case, consider them deserving of each other and be thankful he's her man and not yours.

I do. And I am thankful. I was a fool to leave this guy for this man. It was nothing but toxic. I don’t want him. And I told her to let her know that she is quite silly to get back involved with someone who not only cheated on her when they were separated with me, he rubbed me in her face ( and he rubbed her in my face talking about her all the time) and showing her lingerie photos to me because I didn’t want to dress in lingerie, SHE needs HER HEAD examined. 

5 hours ago, Batya33 said:

She is right.  And the others are right that you need to consult an attorney -as they say, no such thing as a free lunch.      

Well we are taking care of that. He’s selling the camper.

Edited by Christina2022
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8 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

Well we are taking care of that. He’s selling the camper.

What about the truck? Is that still in your name?

You are 100% liable for anything that happens to that truck or any parking tickets, missed payments or unpaid registration fees or non compliance with insurance requirements.

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37 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

Well I’m sorry but I felt like it WAS my business! If it weren’t for her suing him and him needing for me to put things in my name we wouldn’t be here. 

No. 

Their personal finances and legal problems are not your business. He didn't need to put anything in your name. That was a choice (and a poor one) on his part, not a necessity. 

You would be wise to stay in your lane, and learn better boundaries. You're really over-stepping here. 

 

 

 

Edited by MissCanuck
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43 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

And I told her to let her know that she is quite silly to get back involved with someone who not only cheated on her when they were separated with me, he rubbed me in her face ( and he rubbed her in my face talking about her all the time) and showing her lingerie photos to me because I didn’t want to dress in lingerie, SHE needs HER HEAD examined. 

...aaand there it is....thought you were the side piece raging that you aren't so special after all...well...well.... So guess what, you aren't special, he doesn't give a flip about either of you. You got used, played, and dumped.

Next time think twice before you jump to help a pos cheat on his SO. It's not his ex-wife who needs her head examined, it's YOU.  You are the one who needs to fix her picker and get her screwed on straight instead of swallowing the lies of a cheating loser and thinking you'll marry someone you know barely a month because he threw some money at you. Good grief.

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So that little tidbit of you actually being his affair partner is relevant and changes everything.

Sure, they were "separated" but if so,and the wife knew they were separated, it wouldn't have been "cheating". But you yourself are categorizing it as cheating. That changes everything.

No wonder you wanted to contact his ex wife and turn the screws a little bit more. He did you like he did her and that upsets you. Well, it should! Not because of her but because he's doing what liars and cheaters and men with poor character do, they lie and cheat and treat people poorly.

But you already knew he was a cheater when you chose to get involved with him.

I still stand by getting that truck out of your name. Given what this guy has already done I wouldn't put it past him to stop making the payments and sticking you with the bill.

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15 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

No. 

Their personal finances and legal problems are not your business. He didn't need to put anything in your name. That was a choice (and a poor one) on his part, not a necessity. 

You would be wise to stay in your lane, and learn better boundaries. You're really over-stepping here. 

 

 

 

Well I didn’t want to be involved in their business but the way he would spin it, he made me feel bad for him so I got involved. I had to make sure the divorce papers got sent to the courthouse so they got divorced and everything gets taken care of.

15 hours ago, DancingFool said:

...aaand there it is....thought you were the side piece raging that you aren't so special after all...well...well.... So guess what, you aren't special, he doesn't give a flip about either of you. You got used, played, and dumped.

Next time think twice before you jump to help a pos cheat on his SO. It's not his ex-wife who needs her head examined, it's YOU.  You are the one who needs to fix her picker and get her screwed on straight instead of swallowing the lies of a cheating loser and thinking you'll marry someone you know barely a month because he threw some money at you. Good grief.

Well at least he divorced her so I look better than her. She’s the one who looks foolish. Not me. Instead of him handling the divorce, I took care of things and it got taken care of. I got $10,000 out of it, trips and a potential house but I didn’t NEED a house because I already HAVE a house. THOSE 2 look foolish and how did someone else put it up in here? Duped and used. I got MINE. And left out unscathed.

14 hours ago, boltnrun said:

So that little tidbit of you actually being his affair partner is relevant and changes everything.

Sure, they were "separated" but if so,and the wife knew they were separated, it wouldn't have been "cheating". But you yourself are categorizing it as cheating. That changes everything.

No wonder you wanted to contact his ex wife and turn the screws a little bit more. He did you like he did her and that upsets you. Well, it should! Not because of her but because he's doing what liars and cheaters and men with poor character do, they lie and cheat and treat people poorly.

But you already knew he was a cheater when you chose to get involved with him.

I still stand by getting that truck out of your name. Given what this guy has already done I wouldn't put it past him to stop making the payments and sticking you with the bill.

Yes I categorized it at that because he cheated WITH me on HER who is foolish enough to even entertain him, if true. She said that went to lunch for “ closure” and to move on with her life. I asked her “ why even do THAT?” She said it was between them. Well I let HER know all the things he’s done for me in the time he and I were together. Let her know after a month together I got a ring, took her 3 years. But IM the one that was duped? Please. He upgraded MY engagement… because I saw hers and let her know mine was an upgrade from hers. Though he is worth more now than he was when they got engaged, it shows that he didn’t think too much of her. But she expects me to believe he cares about her just because he dumps me an acts for her back. No he was DESPERATE. And I was silly to ask about me being a rebound. If anything SHE IS. 
he paid in full the truck like I had mentioned so I don’t have to worry about any payments biting me in the butt. “Good grief “

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2 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

Let her know after a month together I got a ring, took her 3 years. But IM the one that was duped? Please. He upgraded MY engagement… because I saw hers and let her know mine was an upgrade from hers.

Oh goodness.  True colors and all - you think he cared more for you because you got a ring faster? Did he also set a wedding date? Then it's not an official engagement.  And your trinket was bigger than hers??  Really?  The word "upgrade" doesn't seem to be what you settled for here.  

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Despite everything you claim he did for you that you think makes you look better (to who??) he still removed you from his life, not her. The more expensive ring he gave you meant nothing. After all, he actually followed through with marrying her but didn't marry you. So crowing about how you're "better" than her makes no sense.

This is typical of affairs. The person on the outside of the marriage usually gets the short end of everything. 

It would be best to not involve yourself in affairs and to stay away from shady men who use you to hide assets.

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I guess y’all were right I should have never reached out to her because she went back and confronted him about the ring . I didn’t expect her to do that. I just thought she would just keep her distance and feel silly for ever being in touch. This has all backfired on me because he didn’t confront ME. He told my ex mother in law (my ex husbands mom who works for him at his company). They turned this all around on me as though IM the crazy one. He had $3,000 stolen out of the safe( the same safe his ex wife wedding ring was in) and now he’s accusing ME of it.  Said he never had feelings for me and I  WAS just a rebound and he was hurt over his ex wife leaving him and assuming she cheated( he did talk to me about the cheating and her leaving). I don’t believe this because who just hands over $10,000 to someone like that? So no I refuse to believe he never loved or never had feelings for me. I did text asking her why she told him things we talked about but she never responded. So We have the truck out of my name and I am going on with my life. But I will say that I got treated better than the wife ever did.

Edited by Christina2022
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50 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

They turned this all around on me as though IM the crazy one…

But I will say that I got treated better than the wife ever did.

When you are this involved with someone else’s business and an accomplice for illegal activity or shady ongoings, it’s unlikely you won’t appear the crazy one. Unfortunately you were used and manipulated left, right and center. 

There’s no competition about who’s being treated well. Move on with your  life. You are not his ex wife or even his ex girlfriend. He used you.

Hopefully the next man you date is nothing like this. Be wary and put this behind you. 

 

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14 minutes ago, Rose Mosse said:

When you are this involved with someone else’s business and an accomplice for illegal activity or shady ongoings, it’s unlikely you won’t appear the crazy one. Unfortunately you were used and manipulated left, right and center. 

There’s no competition about who’s being treated well. Move on with your  life. You are not his ex wife or even his ex girlfriend. He used you.

Hopefully the next man you date is nothing like this. Be wary and put this behind you. 

 

Well she could have at least told me she was going to talk to him about the ring. And I shouldn’t be the one looking crazy. THEY should. And I WAS considered a girlfriend. We did relationship type of things, and were in each other’s fb as being in a relationship with each other. So I don’t know what happened to where things just fell apart. I know I need to move on and will… but something must have happened for him to just dump me.

Edited by Christina2022
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Just now, Christina2022 said:

Well she could have at least told me she was going to talk to him about the ring. And I shouldn’t be the one looking crazy. THEY should. 

I don't think she owes you anything. You had an affair with her husband and YOU reached out to her regarding the ring in an attempt to prove he loved you more than her and trying to get her to stay away from him so you could have him back. If you'd just not contacted her in the first place none of it would have happened. OR, if you didn't participate in an affair with a married man you could have avoided all this drama.

Who cares who "looks crazy". All you have to do is step away from the drama.

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33 minutes ago, Christina2022 said:

 I shouldn’t be the one looking crazy. THEY should. 

I don't know... no offense but upon reading your last two pages of posts I've got my concerns about your mental state.

You seem to have no boundary issues whatsoever, you completely cross lines into areas of other people's lives that are none of your business, accept ownership of vehicles and large cash gifts from a guy you have known a month and you see nothing wrong with any of it.

And yet your main concerns are that this guy and his exwife should look crazier than you and whether this guy who clearly wants nothing to do with you still has feelings for you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Wow - so what does it mean when a man who treats you this way has feelings of love for you?  That's what you're harping on -he "loved you?"  You had the "girlfriend" title  -and no you were not the girlfriend -married men can't date.

I like the advice of seeking out a therapist.  Good luck.

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4 hours ago, Christina2022 said:

Well she could have at least told me she was going to talk to him about the ring. And I shouldn’t be the one looking crazy. THEY should. And I WAS considered a girlfriend. We did relationship type of things, and were in each other’s fb as being in a relationship with each other. So I don’t know what happened to where things just fell apart. I know I need to move on and will… but something must have happened for him to just dump me.

You saw his true colours and I'd reconsider if you were in any relationship if he treated you the way he did. Hindsight is 20/20 and this is all past tense now. Try to learn from the experience. 

I generally don't pay attention to relationship status or not. It's what the underlying intentions are in seeing and dating a person that matters overall, personally. His activities and the way he involved you were suspicious from the start so, no, personally, I wouldn't consider his intentions genuine or having anything to do with being sincerely interested in a person or akin to a relationship.

Keep your private/personal life away from any of these people. Lay low for awhile and do your own thing.

Edited by Rose Mosse
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