Ex dating partner spoke to my friend and mentioned me what does it mean?

[J0hn95]

Hi, don’t really know whether to call her an ex or not but basically was someone I was dating that we on path to be in a relationship but didn’t workout I did post a topic about it not that long ago if anyone fancies a read.

Anyway speaking to my mate tonight he was friends with her and somehow a friend of hers got talking about him and she messaged him to see how he was etc. And in that convo she mention how Am I doing, am I ok and also she thinks the world of me?

Just wondering what she’s trying to do is it a way for her to try reach out to me without messaging me? Haven’t really had this before so just curious how others view it?

Don’t worry I don’t have any intentions on getting back with her I’ve moved on and taking the time to focus on myself!

 

[Batya33]

I would read zero into what was typed in a message like that.  Even if she is feeling some regret she obviously doesn't want to date you.  If she did she'd contact you and ask you out on a date or make it very clear she'd accept a date.  I know you said you're not interested in dating her anymore and I'm not sure why you need to focus on yourself because of that - not even sure what that refers to but musing about her intentions is certainly not focusing on yourself.  

[boltnrun]

If she reached out directly to you and said she wanted to see you, would you say "no, thanks"? Or would your heart skip a beat?

Who decided to stop dating, you or her?

[J0hn95]

8 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

If she reached out directly to you and said she wanted to see you, would you say "no, thanks"? Or would your heart skip a beat?

Who decided to stop dating, you or her?

I’d honestly say no thanks there’s nothing there anymore. I’m just nosey and wana know what some of the reasons girls do that?

I ended it because she kept messing me about and sending me mixed signals and couldn’t be asked with it

[Rose Mosse]

It's speculation but for what it's worth I wouldn't look too deeply into it. It sounds like she's being pleasant and trying to say in her way "no hard feelings" and you're a decent person (despite her not being interested in you yada yada). 

Try not to get your hopes up about this. She still seems confused or sounds confusing. Trust your instincts.

[Coily]

Probably just curiosity, and didn't want to come off as rude. I think everyone was wondered or asked after an ex without really wanting to rekindle things.

[Batya33]

There’s nothing to read into as far as “girls “ - some individuals mention people they know or dated to other people when messaging them.  There are many reasons for this and one reason could be “idle chit chat”.  Or “I wish I’d never stopped dating him so I’ll send indirect smoke signals and hope he knows to ask me out again”. Who knows.  It’s fun to be idly curious sure but I would assume it means nothing.  
a couple of years ago totally by accident I clicked on my ex boyfriends linked in profile.  Because I clicked he sent me an invite. I accepted.  What did it mean ?  That I was fine being linked in with him.  How often have we communicated on LinkedIn?  Zero times. 

[smackie9]

It means nothing in a romantic sense. Just part of the conversation. she would contact you directly if she wanted to rekindle anything.

[J0hn95]

31 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

There’s nothing to read into as far as “girls “ - some individuals mention people they know or dated to other people when messaging them.  There are many reasons for this and one reason could be “idle chit chat”.  Or “I wish I’d never stopped dating him so I’ll send indirect smoke signals and hope he knows to ask me out again”. Who knows.  It’s fun to be idly curious sure but I would assume it means nothing.  
a couple of years ago totally by accident I clicked on my ex boyfriends linked in profile.  Because I clicked he sent me an invite. I accepted.  What did it mean ?  That I was fine being linked in with him.  How often have we communicated on LinkedIn?  Zero times. 

Usually I would just ignore it as yeah most likely just chit chat, just found the bit where she said “think the world of him” weird. I have a feeling she wants me to reach out to her for her to just pie me off to make herself feel better because I did it to her?

[boltnrun]

34 minutes ago, J0hn95 said:

Usually I would just ignore it as yeah most likely just chit chat, just found the bit where she said “think the world of him” weird. I have a feeling she wants me to reach out to her for her to just pie me off to make herself feel better because I did it to her?

Well, what if she does? I personally wouldn't arrive at that conclusion but you know her and I don't.

I feel like deep down inside you're still harboring some feelings for this woman. From what you wrote, you didn't end it because you decided you weren't attracted to her, you ended it because she jerked you around a bit. So maybe you were hoping it would work out and are still disappointed that it didn't.

If you want to see her, contact her. If not, then don't concern yourself with why she said this or that. It's irrelevant.

[Kwothe28]

If she "thinks the world out of you" she wouldnt left you on "read" or all other crap she did, and she would contact you now. She still has a number, or a social media or any other form of contact. Its not that hard to send a message and ask how you been.

As other said, I wouldnt read that much into it. There are some people that like those "hot-cold" games where you ignore them and then they feel the need for you. But again, if she hasnt contacted you with clear intentions, dont bother to even try to renew contact with her just because she asked over friends what you are doing.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, J0hn95 said:

Usually I would just ignore it as yeah most likely just chit chat, just found the bit where she said “think the world of him” weird. I have a feeling she wants me to reach out to her for her to just pie me off to make herself feel better because I did it to her?

Maybe.  Maybe not .  Why do you care about what makes her tick?  Tell your friend not to tell you anymore about what she does or doesn't do, what she types, etc.

[greendots]

10 hours ago, J0hn95 said:

I ended it because she kept messing me about and sending me mixed signals and couldn’t be asked with it

What actions did she do that make you believe she sent you mixed signals?

 

8 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I feel like deep down inside you're still harboring some feelings for this woman. From what you wrote, you didn't end it because you decided you weren't attracted to her, you ended it because she jerked you around a bit. So maybe you were hoping it would work out and are still disappointed that it didn't.

If you want to see her, contact her. If not, then don't concern yourself with why she said this or that. It's irrelevant.

I completely agree with this and would also encourage you to contact her if you'd like to see her.

The fact that she thinks the world of you is honestly a fantastic compliment. She certainly likes you - whether romantically, that I don't know.

[Batya33]

8 hours ago, greendots said:

The fact that she thinks the world of you is honestly a fantastic compliment. She certainly likes you - whether romantically, that I don't know.

She didn't say it to him- much less in person/on the phone so who knows what it means - it depends on whether she types words like that with little thought, etc -no context and second hand.

[SooSad33]

I take it as she liked you, but was inconsistant with you? So you walked away.

Now, she's been talking about you... I find her thinking the world of you is odd 😕 .. But could be due to guilt.

But, she messed up in this. And it's done now.

Pay no attention to it.  She did not contact YOU about anything..

And for some people, sure, they may like someone, give it a try but have it fail.. but in the end, not want to become 'enemies', but is often what can happen, when someone is into you & you mess them around- (plus you crossed the lines of 'friendship', when you got involved, therefore hard to go backwards).

Just keep moving on.

[Cherylyn]

I wouldn't give it another thought if I were you.  It was merely a passing comment and don't try to figure out some unnecessarily complicated mind game. 

I doubt she's trying to reach out to you without messaging you directly.  Continue moving on and taking time to focus on yourself!

[Andrina]

On 10/27/2021 at 1:40 PM, J0hn95 said:

she kept messing me about and sending me mixed signals

Sounds like she's doing more of the same. Her pattern. Knowing your friend would pass this info along. I'd tell your friend that if she says anything more about you, that you'd rather not know. Why let her intrude on your closure?

[Lambert]

I think the bigger question is, why do you care? 

[J0hn95]

Just an update for everyone she’s actually messaged me tonight.

But I ain’t bothered opening it I think it’s just her ways of manipulating and messing me about again.

[Batya33]

Totally your choice but yes it’s a different scenario if she contacted you directly. 

[Andrina]

17 hours ago, J0hn95 said:

Just an update for everyone she’s actually messaged me tonight.

But I ain’t bothered opening it I think it’s just her ways of manipulating and messing me about again.

In this case, this saying definitely is great advice: When the past comes calling, don't answer. It has nothing new to say.