J0hn95

Both 25 and both new to dating too

So is it best I let the convo die out and give it a couple of days and then just say “hey how’s your day going looking forward to next week”?

Yeah I think it’s just becoming the norm in my age, we texted for about 2 weeks before even going on a date. But just new to all this not used to it me and my ex would only have like a phone call after work about our day and maybe 1 or 2 texts if something happened but rarely just not a massive texter really plus I feel like previous partners I would text my way out of them being attracted to me dunno how? I try to just ask how her days going and stuff like that keep it no more than 5 texts a day is that good?

What if she’s the one initiating a lot of the texting?

Hi, I went on a date a few days ago which went really well, we were only going for a couple drinks but ended up having a great time we stayed out the whole night, got drunk and kissed at the end. we’ve set up a date for next Saturday and as I’m new to all this dating stuff just wondering if I need to constantly text her? at the moment we’re chatting backwards and forwards no problem but I feel like I’ve started trying to hard to keep the conversation going because I feel like if we ain’t talking she’s gonna think I’m not interested anymore? is it fine to have a day where we don’t chat and I dunno I reach out once in a while just saying “hey, hope you’re having a productive day?” Something along those lines?

Just an update for everyone she’s actually messaged me tonight. But I ain’t bothered opening it I think it’s just her ways of manipulating and messing me about again.

Usually I would just ignore it as yeah most likely just chit chat, just found the bit where she said “think the world of him” weird. I have a feeling she wants me to reach out to her for her to just pie me off to make herself feel better because I did it to her?

I’d honestly say no thanks there’s nothing there anymore. I’m just nosey and wana know what some of the reasons girls do that? I ended it because she kept messing me about and sending me mixed signals and couldn’t be asked with it

Hi, don’t really know whether to call her an ex or not but basically was someone I was dating that we on path to be in a relationship but didn’t workout I did post a topic about it not that long ago if anyone fancies a read. Anyway speaking to my mate tonight he was friends with her and somehow a friend of hers got talking about him and she messaged him to see how he was etc. And in that convo she mention how Am I doing, am I ok and also she thinks the world of me? Just wondering what she’s trying to do is it a way for her to try reach out to me without messaging me? Haven’t really had this before so just curious how others view it? Don’t worry I don’t have any intentions on getting back with her I’ve moved on and taking the time to focus on myself!

Thank you all for your messages it’s really opened my eyes. This comment really hit me it mad me realise that yeah I am scared of being alone and this is will just only ruin future relationship I have. unfortunately I was impatient and stupid and did message her last night we cleared somethings she claims she hasn’t been distant at all been busy at work, she told me how she felt and it is what it is and that it has knocked her a bit. We are small talking for now but I won’t chase her I feel like I need to focus on myself now. forgot to add I wanted to end my relationship with my ex about 1-2 years ago when I had the courage to even broke up with her I had huge fear if I was doing the right thing, was I ever gonna get over her, will I find anyone else like her etc. Which held it back for that long. I still think about it now from time to time.

Thanks for your reply, It has been about 4-5 moths since we split with our exs and first time dating properly, I really want to message her so i can clarify on where i stand because its just making my days so long and hard. It seems such a waste, Ive briefly spoke to her parents on facetime and she tells me they liked me, telling me everything is alright on the night. I have told myself t be fair that i would not do any dating for a whole year and just focus on self improvement first think it'll be good to take my mind off things. I think I've got this fear that because all my friends have partners some are married some are having kids, I'm literally the only single in the groups. and I feel like I'm going to be the odd one that will just be going partner to partner and never find the one to settle down.

Hi thanks for the reply, A apart of me thinks maybe too soon but another reason could be I’ve been under a lot of stress with work and family. I guess we was exclusive but not officially said, we never saw any other people we had been talking for about a month before we started going on dates properly, think a part of me just wanted to give a good performance and maybe pressure just got to me? We don’t talk I feel like if I messaged my ex she will think there’s a chance again and don’t know how she’s coping. She mentioned her past and ex a lot now I look back I don’t think I actually remember a time I mentioned mine to her. Do you think it’s best to wait a couple of days and message her how she is or just leave it and wait for her?

So I’ll start with a quick recap of the year with my relationship. On April 2021 I parted ways with my ex of 5 years due to me not seeing us progress any further we don’t speak but we still are friends. Skip about 2 months I matched with this girl on tinder and chatted a little but had a bad phone call experience due to nerves. 2 weeks later I actually met her in a nightclub and we hit off really well and she saw different side of me compared to the phone call, we exchanged social media and cracked on from there. So it was a on off talking stage for a good month I saw her only once in that time and she had a holiday and the week she got back I had a holiday it was bad timing really. But after my holiday we went on dates and yeah we progressed and started mention relationships, meeting parents etc. On the 6th date we went out had a good time and finally to the bedroom we were gonna have sex but unfortunately probably due to nerves I couldn’t really hold an erection. She said don’t worry plenty of time and kind of shrugged it off and now this is where the problem started. It’s been 2 days since that night and she had been very blunt, not calling me babe etc. And just been very distant. I knew what the reason was so last night I addressed the elephant in the room. I explained it must of been due to stress, anxiety nothing to do with her I’m very into her and find her very attractive. Ill mention now that she was in a 5 year relationship but hers was very sour with her ex cheating etc. And her response to me that it has brought back insecurities about her past relationship and feels she’s not good enough, she has also insecurities about her body. I feel like she’s going to fizzle out and end it with me she hasn’t opened my message for nearly a day now! I really have developed feelings for her and I would hate for this to end like this, I see her snap score going up so I know she’s talking to other people she’s posting photos on Instagram it’s just making me feel so depressed and I can’t sleep or work I really can’t go on like this would love for peoples opinion and advice it will help me out a lot thanks.