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I can't deal with this anymore.


That36guy
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10 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Well what could be taking her so long? I imagine simply adding someone doesn’t take too long.

"So long"? Didn't you just go out last night? She isn't going to rush home and leap immediately on her phone to add you. She probably has things going on. She'll probably add you whenever they plan the next outing.

You're starting to sound angry again. Don't blow this opportunity to meet people and have new friends by overreacting with accusations and insults.

Seriously, chill out. Please.

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Remember people have their own lives. Her number one thing in life is not to add a new friend to an app.

But you could take these types of things as opportunities.  Next time when someone says I'll add you on snap chat. you say: that's cool! I'm not on snap chat. show me! then you add them right then. 

People like to help others, they like to feel they are showing you and showing their knowledge and to be helpful. Let them!  Ask them things about the topics they seem interested in. 

Now that you have snap chat,  next time you would say- oh yeah I just got on snap chat! I'll add you!  and then add them.... find opportunities to keep things going. 

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If you didn't have the app on your phone how could she add you?

If you have her number then add her instead of waiting around once again.  Be proactive, not passive.

  As far as the inside jokes go.  They have hung out a lot as a group so of course they have history and jokes only they would understand.

  You really need to take a good hard look at yourself and then sit down with your sister and ask her to help you be more sociable, less weirdo that plays video games as you put it.  I am sure she would love to help her brother not be so awkward and negative. Give her a chance and I bet she will help with your look and style too. 

  You just need to listen to the advice she gives you and follow it.  Unlike what you have done here.  We have all tried to help but you keep finding excuses not to do what we advise you to do.  That is your biggest problem at the moment.

Lost

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1 hour ago, lostandhurt said:

If you didn't have the app on your phone how could she add you?

If you have her number then add her instead of waiting around once again.  Be proactive, not passive.

  As far as the inside jokes go.  They have hung out a lot as a group so of course they have history and jokes only they would understand.

  You really need to take a good hard look at yourself and then sit down with your sister and ask her to help you be more sociable, less weirdo that plays video games as you put it.  I am sure she would love to help her brother not be so awkward and negative. Give her a chance and I bet she will help with your look and style too. 

  You just need to listen to the advice she gives you and follow it.  Unlike what you have done here.  We have all tried to help but you keep finding excuses not to do what we advise you to do.  That is your biggest problem at the moment.

Lost

I put my number on her phone and she added me as a contact merely on her phone. I then downloaded the app and she said something about adding me to their group, but that’s as much as I can remember.

And I don’t have her number. I’m just getting my hopes up that she’ll text me or do something on Snapchat, but I’m starting to panic now.

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8 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I put my number on her phone and she added me as a contact merely on her phone. I then downloaded the app and she said something about adding me to their group, but that’s as much as I can remember.

And I don’t have her number. I’m just getting my hopes up that she’ll text me or do something on Snapchat, but I’m starting to panic now.

No panic.  Many people take a good couple of days to follow through or she thought she did it but didn’t. 

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34 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I’m starting to panic now.

I find it interesting that the guy who waits 4 months to ask a girl out is panicking because a girl has waited less than 24 hours to add him to a Snapchat group.

Dude, chill!  Seriously!  You're going to ruin this opportunity to get out there and meet girls and make new friends if you don't calm down.

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41 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I put my number on her phone and she added me as a contact merely on her phone. I then downloaded the app and she said something about adding me to their group, but that’s as much as I can remember.

And I don’t have her number. I’m just getting my hopes up that she’ll text me or do something on Snapchat, but I’m starting to panic now.

Like others have said, she is probably busy. Not many people will prioritize adding you to a Snapchat group. She may add you the next time they plan something, which could be a week or so from now. 

In the meantime, do not sit around waiting for the notification to arrive. Put your phone in another room for now and go do a hobby, activity, or exercise.

You did a good job making a possible connection with someone - and connecting with this work group. Next time, though, I would ask for the person's number instead so you can take the initiative instead of waiting on them to message you.

Edited by Pleasedonot5
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4 hours ago, boltnrun said:

I find it interesting that the guy who waits 4 months to ask a girl out is panicking because a girl has waited less than 24 hours to add him to a Snapchat group.

Dude, chill!  Seriously!  You're going to ruin this opportunity to get out there and meet girls and make new friends if you don't calm down.

It's now officially been 24 hours since I gave her my number and nothing.

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7 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

And yet you wait several months to ask a girl out. Do you not see the irony here?

I get it. I waited too long to ask them out. But now this girl is running the risk of waiting too long.

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Risk of what?   She was being friendly at this point so don't imagine it as anything than that. 

IF she is interested in you other than just a friend and you act towards her like you are on here it will be over before it starts.

  Stop thinking about her, stay busy with improving your life, social skills and most importantly how to relax and not dwell on things you have zero control over.

Lost

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3 minutes ago, lostandhurt said:

Risk of what?   She was being friendly at this point so don't imagine it as anything than that. 

IF she is interested in you other than just a friend and you act towards her like you are on here it will be over before it starts.

  Stop thinking about her, stay busy with improving your life, social skills and most importantly how to relax and not dwell on things you have zero control over.

Lost

I suffer from FOMO. I just want to stay in the loop and hang out with them more. She’s making it seem like she’s not interested since I haven’t heard from her yet.

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15 minutes ago, That36guy said:

I suffer from FOMO. I just want to stay in the loop and hang out with them more. She’s making it seem like she’s not interested since I haven’t heard from her yet.

Good grief, man. 

You have got to get a grip on your anxiety. This girl included you as a friend in an outing. Not a romantic interest. You need to check your expectations here, and understand that her behaviour is normal. 

Chill. A delay in adding you on Snapchat does not mean you will not hang out with them anymore. Serious question, but have you ever been evaluated by a doctor for anxiety? 

Edited by MissCanuck
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36 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Good grief, man. 

You have got to get a grip on your anxiety. This girl included you as a friend in an outing. Not a romantic interest. You need to check your expectations here, and understand that her behaviour is normal. 

Chill. A delay in adding you on Snapchat does not mean you will not hang out with them anymore. Serious question, but have you ever been evaluated by a doctor for anxiety? 

Honestly, I barely even understand what anxiety even is. Isn’t it basically just constant worry?

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55 minutes ago, That36guy said:

Honestly, I barely even understand what anxiety even is. Isn’t it basically just constant worry?

Anxiety can manifest in many different ways. 

For me, a guy with generalized anxiety disorder, it is a disconcerting burning or tightening sensation in my chest, incessant fear that I did or said something wrong, racing thoughts, interpreting that others are conspiring against me (almost always untrue), self-doubt, and inability to focus. Imagine your body's fight or flight mode activating but it just does not stop. After a while, the continuous stress can cause brain fog, stomach problems, and other subtler symptoms. It is unpleasant.

If these symptoms (or symptoms described in greater detail in the above link) are ones you experience often, I recommend you have a physician evaluate you for anxiety.

There are a variety of medications that may help, depending on the type of anxiety. I am currently being treated with buspirone, which is a long-term anti-anxiety medication. It helps me feel "normal" around 90-95% of the time.

Edited by Pleasedonot5
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1 hour ago, That36guy said:

I suffer from FOMO. 

That's true. You're on the sidelines a lot. You sort of hang out with your virgin friends instead of dating.

So agree. At 26 years old, living with parents, never dated, afraid of women, etc. your FOMO is quite real because you are in fact missing out.

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op.  Will you please, PLEASE, take the advice being offered here by all the posters. It is for your own good.  And this is good advice, for starters.

12 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

You really need to take a good hard look at yourself and then sit down with your sister and ask her to help you be more sociable, less weirdo that plays video games as you put it.  I am sure she would love to help her brother not be so awkward and negative. Give her a chance and I bet she will help with your look and style too. 

  You just need to listen to the advice she gives you and follow it.  Unlike what you have done here.  We have all tried to help but you keep finding excuses not to do what we advise you to do.  That is your biggest problem at the moment.

 

And PDN is quite right. You do need to have an evaluation for your anxiety.

"if your worries and fears are so constant that they interfere with your ability to function and relax, you may have generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). GAD is a common anxiety disorder that involves constant and chronic worrying, nervousness, and tension."

https://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/anxiety-disorders

Please, OP, take the advice given here, all of it.  You will have to, or your life will continue to be a misery.

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7 hours ago, That36guy said:

I get it. I waited too long to ask them out. But now this girl is running the risk of waiting too long.

24 hours is "too long"? Too long for what? Did you tell her "either you add me within 24 hours or I'm never hanging out with you guys again"? 

Do you see how ridiculous that is?

If you don't find a way to calm yourself down you're going to be in the exact same situation 10 yeas from now, sitting in your parents home every weekend alone, watching TV and eating pizza. No girlfriend. Although I wonder if that's what you really want since you keep finding ways to sabotage yourself.

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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

24 hours is "too long"? Too long for what? Did you tell her "either you add me within 24 hours or I'm never hanging out with you guys again"? 

Do you see how ridiculous that is?

If you don't find a way to calm yourself down you're going to be in the exact same situation 10 yeas from now, sitting in your parents home every weekend alone, watching TV and eating pizza. No girlfriend. Although I wonder if that's what you really want since you keep finding ways to sabotage yourself.

So I’ll be seeing this girl at work today. How do I remind her about Snapchat without coming off as too desperate or confrontational?

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Geeze, OP, just keep it light-hearted. A bit of humour helps.  Humour ALWAYS helps btw. 

You could try:

"I think I finally got a handle on this Snapchat thing. Maybe you could send me your number again (note the "again". ) 

And yes, I KNOW she didn't send you her number, but just try this humorous approach. 

Edited by LaHermes
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1 hour ago, That36guy said:

So I’ll be seeing this girl at work today. How do I remind her about Snapchat without coming off as too desperate or confrontational?

Why would you be "confrontational"?

Just let her know you downloaded Snapchat so she can add you to the group. Remember to say a friendly hello first. Maybe mention you had fun the other night. 

That's it. Don't over do it or gush lol.

Edited by boltnrun
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1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Why would you be "confrontational"?

Just let her know you downloaded Snapchat so she can add you to the group. Remember to say a friendly hello first. Maybe mention you had fun the other night. 

That's it. Don't over do it or gush lol.

I mentioned being confrontational because I don’t want to sound like I’m accusing her of deliberately snubbing me or already trying to banish me from the group. There were time during the hangout where I felt like the wet blanket and I’m worried that they may not want me to hang out with them anymore.

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