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Why is my ex acting this way? What should I do? PLEASE HELP!


Tamara1

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My ex boyfriend told me he loves me and misses me a lot and needs me and he hugged me and kissed me when we me met and I always seem to bump into him somehow I feel like he follows me around sometimes and he gets jealous if other guys talk to me but at the same time he told me he doesn’t want us to get back together and that he wants to forget me but He wants to keep talking to me and meeting and he said he will always be there for me and beside me no matter what and he doesn’t want to date anyone new or have a new girlfriend and he doesn’t want to be just friends and he tries to kiss me all the time the last time I met him he tried to kiss me and I backed off and I told him since we are not together anymore I don’t want him to kiss me he said sorry but later He kissed me against my will he said he can’t control himself and he askes me If I’m dating someone new... he was the one who dumped me and I asked If he wants us to get back together after he told me he loves me and misses me a lot he said no however he’s acting this way I’m so confused :(

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What was the breakup about? How long were you dating? It sounds like he wants hookups.

 

You need to delete and block him from all social media and messaging apps. You also need to avoid him.

 

Why were you close enough to "kiss him against your will"? If he's molesting you call the cops. Stop hanging out with this creep.

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You should not be giving the benefit of a gf, if he doesn't want to have a relationship. He does not love you, or he would be with you. He likes the ego boost he is getting, because you continue to respond. He only wants you for attention and sex.

 

You need to go no contact. Block and delete!

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I understand why you're so confused; he's giving you two very different stories. But I think he's been very clear that he doesn't expect to get back into a real relationship with you, so I think your wisest plan right now would be to keep away from him as much as possible. It's absolutely not ok for him to be kissing you if you told him not to. You probably need to find a way not to see him for a long time until he "can" control himself. Is that possible? You're not coworkers or anything?

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Let go. I agree with MissCanuck.

 

There's a part of us that is still connected to our ex-lovers/partners etc. He's playing on that and keeping you hooked so he can keep tabs on you and control your movements. Someone who cares about you deeply would never do this to you or compromise your peace of mind.

 

Shoot for higher. This isn't it.

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he said he will always be there for me and beside me no matter what

 

If you believe that, you're quite naive. When he gets a new gf, that won't happen, and why do you need someone who dumped you for a support system in your life?

 

He's treating you like a plaything and accosting you. Being a nice person is different than being a person who accepts poor treatment to avoid making waves. With a psycho like him, if you bump into him while out and about, and he tries to kiss you, hold your hand up and firmly say, "No!" If he still tries, tell him you will kick him in the nuts or just go ahead and do it. Block and delete. His presence in your life is causing you enough stress to write on this forum. Delete toxic people from your life. If he cared about you, he wouldn't be crossing these boundaries. He'd be saying a pleasant hello to you in passing and be on his way. He only cares about toying with what he sees as an easy target for playtime and nothing more. Leave his behind in the gutter where it belongs and make a wide berth. You have better things to do with your time and better people to meet.

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It may be hard if you still have feelings and have hopes of getting back together but despite what he is saying or how he's acting it won't make any difference if he won't get back together. If he really cared as much as he claims to then he would be willing to be in a relationship with you. It wouldnt be complicated like this. Distancing yourself from him would be a good thing. Talk to your friends especially if you're feeling down or anything. Schedule more time to hang out with friends. If you know the areas he "bumps into" you around... Try to avoid those if possible. If he asks you, be clear with him that you don't want to continue what is going on if you two are not in a relationship. You two aren't ready to even be friends mostly because he is not respecting you or your boundaries!

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My ex boyfriend told me he loves me and misses me a lot and needs me and he hugged me and kissed me when we me met and I always seem to bump into him somehow I feel like he follows me around sometimes and he gets jealous if other guys talk to me but at the same time he told me he doesn’t want us to get back together and that he wants to forget me but He wants to keep talking to me and meeting and he said he will always be there for me and beside me no matter what and he doesn’t want to date anyone new or have a new girlfriend and he doesn’t want to be just friends and he tries to kiss me all the time the last time I met him he tried to kiss me and I backed off and I told him since we are not together anymore I don’t want him to kiss me he said sorry but later He kissed me against my will he said he can’t control himself and he askes me If I’m dating someone new... he was the one who dumped me and I asked If he wants us to get back together after he told me he loves me and misses me a lot he said no however he’s acting this way I’m so confused :(

 

What exactly are you confused about? He doesn't want to be in a relationship with you but he wants to make sure you don't see anyone? That is what you call red flag dangerous. Someone that wants to control you from a far is not worth having in your life (unless you find that arousing).

This is what it boils down to. You are not with him, he doesn't want you, he wants to control you. So if you don't want to be controlled, then quick talking to the guy. Yes, its that simple. He is not going to go away easily so you just cant respond so (and I rarely say this) You have to block him from your life.

If you don't, then you will continue to be confused.

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